energy out of control (?)

[kaj]

Hi,


I feel really awkward writing this topic. It's going to be hard for me. I'm confused and bit terrified. I can't focus  properly. Not to mention my poor english.

I was never into this energy stuff before. Never believed in such things. But life surprised me unpleasantly and now I must seek for help. I'm able to believe in anything at the moment. It started happening few years ago and grew into something I can't handle anymore.

I've heard something about body energy, auras etc. I've heard all people have it. I guess it's alright for them because nobody is  complaining.
My energy, aura (or whatever should I call it) is different. It's affecting people (little kids and animals also) in a not  very pleasant way and it's completely out of my control.
I can sense presence of people without seeing them or hearing. And they somehow know about it. There is this invisible energy  field around me. It will make people cough, choke, sniff, scratch their heads, whistle, make some obnoxious sounds or react in other weird, inappropriate way (when I'm out of their sight, silent). I saw them freezing, dropping things on the floor or  looking at me with hostility, suspicion, fear. People would follow me when I'm walking in the supermarket until they realize  it's not something they really wanted to do (like they would wake up from a hypnosis). When I'm passing by they will stop moving and  just stand still with this blank stare. Some will simply run away or whisper something too me (rude things occasionaly). When I  speak to a single person it feels like my voice is directed to every person around. And they behave like it is. Everybody  stops doing their thing and focus on what I'm saying. Not because I have a special or loud voice.
It's difficult for people to have a conversation which is audible for me. My brain will focus on what they are saying and  will interfere somehow. They start feeling uncomfortable. Conversation ends awkwardly. If I hear somebody laughing out loud  in far distance it will end up instantly making this person cough. I'm entering room full of people (I work in a restaurant)  conversations stop, eating stops. Complete silence. I'm in the spotlight now. Some of them watch what am I doing with the  biggest concern. Like everybody is waiting for me to do something unexpected. This will not happen because I don't want any  attention, I just want to do my thing. I look normal and behave the same. As soon as I leave everything is back to normal,  everybody is enjoying with a relief.
Animals are very sensitive to me. This dog ran like crazy when my finger moved. Not to mention other one that bit me.

It's unbelievable how fast people react when I would just look in their direction. For example: I'm riding on a train, some  person outside is standing far away in the distance, turned back to me. I look (just a glance), this person feels something  and reacts to this immediately. It happens also when I see somebody's reflection in window or when I observe through  surveillance cameras. Person will start looking around, searching for something. But nothing is there except me, but I'm too  far away to be noticed. Some people can't walk straight when I come close (they tend to go towards me). I'm just moving  forward, looking somewhere else, minding my own business. Some have trouble with standing up from a table when sitting next  to me. Like they were struggling with some kind of a force. Friend once told me this: "Something is pulling me in your  direction. And it's something evil". He was drunk and didn't remember anything the next day. But it only confirmed my theory  that I affect people under the influence even more.
Some can't stand my presence. Few flatmates moved out from the same apartment. Many of them complained about feeling weird or  having strange dreams. So I avoid people as much as possible. I always try to stay away and be silent at all times, to not to  draw any attention. But something inside me wants all of it and I can't help it. It wants everybody to just shut up and focus  on me (in short).

I feel this energy mostly in my legs (feet precisely) and also hands. It's very uncomfortable and hard to describe feeling.  Sometimes shivering occurs.  Also I'm feeling some kind of a short circuit in my brain when somebody is near and is  doing something (making noise, talking, moving). Then this impulse I create will make this person react. These sensations  will stop as soon as this person will fall asleep. It also calms down when I listen to my mp3 player, but strikes immediately  after song ends. Silence makes energy more effective. Worst is when people cough. They do this a lot. Why? Does it make them  feel better? Coughing occurs often when I'm feeling emotions (like fear, sadness, happiness, anger etc). When I would think  about saying something to somebody I'm having conversation with, but not actually saying it. When I'm creating a conversation  in my mind. When I think about a person near me and in many other various situations. Energy is strongest in the morning right after  I wake up and in the evening when I'm tired. There are days when it's weak, but then the next day it will come back stronger. I wish I could explain all this better, but circumstances are against it. I hope  you get the idea.

How do you think does it feel for a person when I'm near? What kind of feeling makes them do all these unexplainable things?

Maybe it would be fun to have such ability but only if it was under control. Mine is out of control and is with me all the time. It makes my life really miserable and exhausting (I could write another topic about, but that's not the point). I would give so much to get rid of this condition and be normal again.

What is happening to me exactly?
Can anybody help me? Perhaps tell me how to control it or just help me to understand it better?  Now it's beyond my  comprehension and it scares me. I would be thankful for any advice.

These are not coincidences or delusions (no doubt about it). I am sane and very serious as it's a matter of life or death.
Thank you for your attention 

[blis]

Sounds like you need grounding.

[Orion-]

The first thing you should know is that you're not evil. I think your energy might be a bit imbalanced.

You know a lot more about yourself than you think. Just think about it, why does it happen, what can I do about it? You might find an answer.

Meditating and focusing on a golden light around you that defeats all negativity and changes it into positivity, while intending to do that and archive balance will also help. In the shower, imagine the water "curing" all the negativity (flushing it away) and changing it to positivity. Imagine and feel you and your feet being more connected to the earth, and imagine the earth helping you. Don't imagine it to be like a fight, it should be effortless. Realize that if you do not want to harm or scare others, you won't. Realize that you are the only one who controls what you do.

When has this started? Is it a new thing or an old thing? Have you had traumatic experiences, or do you know of something that might have caused it?

[NoY]

interesting!

what i would advise is imagine a purple flame in your heart and then spread the flames all over your body from head to toe,

I have been in a similar position to you before and found the purple flame meditation to be a great success it will condition and cleanse your energy system

:NoY:

[blis]

Good advice from NoY. The purple/violet flame is very helpful. I advise giving it a shot too.

[Lionheart]

 The purple flame tech works good. Another technique is releasing this energy back into the earth by visualizing it leaving through the bottom of your feet. Good Luck!

[Ident]

Try the purple flame. Try enveloping yourself in a swirling golden-white cocoon or egg. Try imagining roots stretching down into the earth and allowing surplus energy to bleed away into the earth. Draw in the pure light of the sun for cleansing and allow it to fill you as you then pass it down into the earth.

You could also imagine a cloak of invisibility around yourself. Imagine that people cannot be influenced by you, since the cloak prevents any possibility of such. Use a shell of protection to keep others out from influencing you.

[kaj]

Thanks for all replies. I knew it was the right place. You really believed me! That made me feel a lot better. 

When has this started? Is it a new thing or an old thing? Have you had traumatic experiences, or do you know of something that might have caused it?

I think it has started about 3-4 years back. But I fully realized what is happening maybe few months ago. It's a completely new thing. I mean I was feeling bad and depressed but I never felt nothing like this in my body before. Sensations in my feet are incredibly annoying. Being affected physically by something invisible is not pleasant also.
I guess many things might have caused why I am like that. I've been thinking negatively since I started thinking consciously. And later for many years I've been living in unnecessary stress and fear. Complete absence of expressing negative emotions (perhaps any emotions at all), very low self esteem and more stress. I know that many people have worse lives with bigger problems. That would be nothing for most of them. Apparently it was enough for me and something broke inside. Malfunction occurred and I've became this hyper-attentive, antisocial, bad energy-person. I can't think of any single traumatic experience which might have caused it. I suppose It's just many years of thinking too much and caring about everything. Maybe something else, I don't know. Anyway it has to change. I'm working on that.

I will try to meditate and visualize things you've all said. It will be really difficult because I have huge problem with focusing on what I want (disturbing intrusive thoughts are the worst). First I have to read a lot about meditating because my knowledge in this matter is very little.

Thanks to all of you once again!

[blis]

Sorry, I kind of assumed you already meditated and did some sort of energy work.

Google "midfulness of breathing" to get you started meditating. To get started on energy work look for New Energy Ways by Robert Bruce. The pdf is easy to find. It'll teach you how to get rid of energy blockages.

[kaj]

This is not working. Violet flame meditation and grounding are not helping. Things are getting worse here. Now I'm being affected more by people around. I can't walk straight sometimes. I can't pick up something from the floor without having these little spasms. Some force is pulling or pushing me away a little bit when I'm sitting or walking. Before it was happening only to others, not to me. Now I have trouble with talking. My face muscles are tense and my voice is trembling. Shivering in hands and feet is stronger. I'm having weird little head shakes. None of it is happening when nobody is around. It's hard to tell what is the safe distance for me. The farther the better. Family is looking at me like if I was evil. They have this disgusted look on their face when I'm looking at them and talking. It's wasn't like that before. Is there anything else I could do? Maybe exorcist or something? Because I really don't know what to do and how to live like that...

[Lionheart]

 Relax, can you elaborate on the sensations in the feet? My feet burn at nighttime and spasm during the day. Just recently I have undergone a double Ingrown Toenail infection. One of them I had to have extracted surgically last week, worst pain I ever had. The other I am still babying day to day. I think you are confusing something wondrous for something evil.
I have spoke to a number of my friends this week that are like minded and they say they are undergoing various changes as well. Some hitting deep bouts of depression, some even fighting battles in their sleep. It almost seems like we are being altered, kind of like shedding old skin. I feel a new sense of awareness now in my physical life everyday. Just watching people walk in the Mall by my Christmas Kiosk has become a daily adventure. Because I am selling Himalayan Salt Lamps, which are very healing and soothing, a number of people approach me everyday with their personal views and insights. Many that are having strange occurrences in their everyday life too at the moment.
Have faith, change is a good thing. I am excited to see what exactly it is we are changing into.
Good Luck and Safe Travels 

[CFTraveler]

Family is looking at me like if I was evil. They have this disgusted look on their face when I'm looking at them and talking. It's wasn't like that before.

I don't understand this.  Why would they do this?  What do they say to you?  Have you talked to them?

[kaj]

Relax, can you elaborate on the sensations in the feet?

It's hard to describe. Never felt nothing like this before. Feels like some kind of flowing electricity mixed with shivering and numbness. Also a little bit like a cramp. When I don't move my hands for few minutes this feeling is getting more and more intense. And when I move my fingers it's going away (discharging?). It's same with feet and neck/head. Not a comfortable feeling.

I think you are confusing something wondrous for something evil.

I'm not saying it's evil. But it's not wondrous for sure. Being this kind of magnet for all kinds of people everywhere I am all the time is not something I would recommend. Some people like it because they think they mean something special to me or that I'm attracted to them. They tend to go towards me unintentionally or try to make a subtle physical contact with me (when I'm waiting in a line for example or trying to go through a crowded area)  I don't like this. I never liked any kind of human contact or attention. Other people are just rude and hostile because I'm affecting their natural awarness. Apparently they don't like being drawn to me forcefully. And I understand it. I wouldn't like this too if I were them. I have to struggle when doing something, walking or just standing. I have to focus a lot if I don't want to drop something out of my hands or bounce into someone. I feel a little bit like a puppet which is controlled by strings. Force is delicate, but still it's something against my will. How can it be wondrous? How can I talk about this bizarre thing just like that?

I don't understand this.  Why would they do this?  What do they say to you?  Have you talked to them?

They say nothing. It's too weird and confusing for anybody to talk with me about it. Everybody just reacts in a non verbal way. Even those who know me my whole life and know that I wasn't like that before. It's dissapointing.

[Szaxx]

Hi Kaj,
Your problem sounds familiar, This started when you were a teenager and got stronger since then. You think its controling you and you can't do anything to stop  it. Everyone near you gets affected too.
You are becoming a clairsentient and possibly more.
Master this, its hard but can be done. As you are not using this developing gift its energy is going out uncontrolled. 
Send anything bad through your feet back into the ground. (Good advice already given).
Here's what to do.
When you are outside in a busy place try to make someone do something like wipe their nose or scratch their ear by thinking you are going to see them do it.  Make a dog run infront of its owner by thinking you are going to see it happen. Make someone stop walking for no reason by thinking you are going to see it happen.
Its easy to start this way. Soon you will be telling your friends "that car will not drive away when the traffic lights change and the one behind will sound the horn". This is a little harder to do but your friends will want to know how did you know that. Just tell them you know things.
By using this energy you will become able to do more things easier.
If you think strongly about someone you will feel their mood or if they are upset or happy. Eventually with much work you will be answering questions before they have been asked.
If you get the dreams we all are here at the pulse to help. You WILL know if they come.
Take control and use the gift. Don't let the emotions get to you like they are. You MUST beat them, this has to be done (important).
I've worn this t-shirt.
PM if you wish for more information (sensitive).
Best of luck.

[kaj]

I wonder how does it feel for somebody when I look at them or think of them? When look at my body parts I feel chill and tingling in the point where I look at. Could it feel the same for others?
I started reading New Ways of Energy. I tried few exercises. I could feel they work for me. But I don't know if I should continue doing them. The next day I was affecting people even more and I could feel my muscles trembling randomly. I don't want make everything worse.
The point of these exercises is to raise energy levels, right? That's not what I need. But also they help to clear energy paths in the body. This could help with the violet flame and grounding meditations, am I right?
At this moment results of these exercises seem to be exact opposite of what I want to achieve, but maybe they could change in the long run? Could raising energy levels and clearing paths be helpful in reducing the strenght of my aura later on? It's definitely way too strong.

[CFTraveler]

The point of these exercises is to raise energy levels, right?

No.  The point of NEW is to learn to feel and move energy in your body.  You can learn to store it in the appropriate centers in your body so that they don't 'go' to the 'wrong' places and cause trouble. 
In other words, once you learn to feel and move energy you can move on to do other things (like project it, or store it) but in this case you should learn it so you can move it down on the ground and off your head area.