hi. i have a bad habit that i REALLY need to break

[erynys]

i have a habit of suppressing bad memories deep into my subconscious. they'll happen, and then i just wont remember them anymore. i need to remember some things that are crucial to my defense in a legal battle, but they were so horrible, i cant recall them. does anyone know what i can do to bring those memories out?

[bloodsong]

Best way that would be speedy enough to cover a legal battle?  May want to check with your lawyer about the way the courts where you live look at evidence derived from hypnosis, though I warn you that most states will not allow it.  The only other thing would be pysche evaluations.  Magick would do it, but to do it safely, you have to take a long time.

Bloodsong

[erynys]

um, if i can get a hypnosis session, to remember things, he can tell me what i said, and ill think about it, and ill remember it after thinking about it for a day. but thanks.

[CFTraveler]

i have a habit of suppressing bad memories deep into my subconscious. they'll happen, and then i just wont remember them anymore. i need to remember some things that are crucial to my defense in a legal battle, but they were so horrible, i cant recall them. does anyone know what i can do to bring those memories out?

Talk about it when they happen.  Think of an onion- layer upon layer.  When something upsetting happens, if you talk about it at the time it happens (within days, I mean) it will often remind you of the last time you felt like that, and then talk about that.  It'll keep on linking you to past events and you can then dig up stuff you had but forgotten about, and come to some sort of resolution, even if it's just to remember the feelings.  It's going to take a lot of time, emotional energy, and someone to listen that isn't going to judge or try to offer some advice.  But if you can find that person, and have the time, it'll be well spent.

[erynys]

ok. thanks. ill do that. i also have another problem. i am overweight. and i dont like the way i am. i think this causes me to be very critical of other people's appearances. its a big battle, because i know i can start losing weight, if i can learn to accept and love those around me with the same problem, instead of being horribly shallow. i hate it, but i dont know how to get rid of it. i think its something karmic. like i am critical of fat people, and only attracted to skinny people, because i AM fat, and i had the same attitude in another life, so thats why im fat now. any ideas on how to break this horribleness?

[Hannah b]

hey Ernys!
Being fat because of karma is possible. But we can't keep on blaming everything on karma...let's give her some rest and get some facts 
First of all you are fat because you eat too much. You weren't born fat right?
Second -  ask yourself - why are you eating too much?
I've had lots of serious issues with food in the past and know two things: overeating is re compensating...you name it: lack of love,lack of support, lack of entertainment, lack of relaxation...and so. Or it's numbing yourself from feelings you don't want to experience: hunger for love, hunger for affection and attention, fear, loneliness, anger... When you look at it honestly, you'll see that food is like a drug. I wish you courage to ask yourself honest questions and start from there. It isn't you being fat which is the problem. the reason why you are fat is the issue.

i know i can start losing weight, if i can learn to accept and love those around me with the same problem,

No, Ernys,- you'll start loosing weight if you ACCEPT yourself with this problem. Why are fat people getting on your nerves? Because they reflect the side of you which you don't agree to see. Have the courage to listen to what your soul is trying to tell you and what you don't want to hear. When you get through that low GI index+blood type diet does wonders 

All the best

[erynys]

diets dont work for me. they take too long. and i give up. besides, i can never stay healthy. my dad is cheap and lazy. he only buys foods that make you fatter. if i lived on my own. i would only buy healthy food. im naturally drawn to it. i dont eat things like soda, doughnuts, cookies, cakes, pies, or chips, pizza, burgers, tacos, all greasy foods and sugary foods. im forced to eat some of it because i get really hungry and my dad is lazy and cheap. for instance, he got lifetime free pizza cause he did free legal work for a pizza guy. we now eat there every day. it makes me so sick. i hate it so much. but yeah, i genuinely do not find fat people attractive. i also tend to shy away from them. its probably the most horrible thing i can imagine. but its true. im really a very shallow person. anyway. i really feel that my weight is a punishment for my shallow attitude. i dunno. maybe it isnt. and i have accepted that im fat. ive been the fat kid since forever. i hate it because it keeps me from getting into relationships, and because it limits what i can do. i feel huge all the time. and i really am. i weigh so much. its horrible. i dont know what to do anymore. i cant diet, because i can never get the right food. i dont have time to go exercise too much cause im always sleepy, or i have homework or other work to do. im pretty sure i can direct my excess energy and combine it with a thought to make me lose weight. i did it in a spell. it worked for a week. then the plant that i used to grow the spell died. and i stopped losing weight. i think ive been gaining weight too. anyway, i did that BEFORE i learned how to accumulate large quantities of positive energy. and yeah. i got fat over the past year, because i changed schools, and i REALLY liked this guy, beyond normal reason, and i never got to see him again. he didnt like me and he thought i was creepy and was trying to kill him. which made me feel worse. cause i only wanted him to feel safe and loved. and it all went wrong. so to make up for his loss, i started eating a lot. i recently stopped eating like a freakin pig because i want to be healthy. i enjoy the feeling. another reason i cant do this is because i have SO many things im trying to juggle that need to be done right now, and i cant really do that right now. which is bad because the longer i stay fat, the longer ill be without a bf, which is never good for me, because my thing is love. its what i live for. and to be alone is the worst thing for me. its even worse than my mother not caring about me, or my father being psychotic and trying to kill me. so i dont know what to do.

[Principle]

try working out then

That sounds simple enough, Heh. I think the true solution is eating small, frequently and healthy meals.
It will increase the speed of your metabolism and allow you to lose weight quickly.

[Nay]

I agree.  I have to eat little bits through out the day to keep my blood sugar from dropping.  I feel really crappy when that happens...