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illuminated

Hello everyone!

First I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone contributing to this forum. I hope that in due time I'll be able to do the same.

I'm in my forties now, male, I have a family consisting of my lovely wife and two daughters. I'm from Europe (not the too hairy type as someone was describing us here  :-D). I've had the idea of AP since about 25 years ago.. did few attempts back then, but nothing serious, then I forgot about it completely. Until the few weeks ago.

I have ran into a QHHT session description and I sort of vaguely remembered the "feeling", the sensation of being out of body although I have never consciously experienced it. It was a sort of an awakening moment for me.

Now, I remember that for the past 25 years I've had few experiences that are related to AP, although I don't remember AP-ing explicitly. I do remember that sometimes when I've been going to sleep I've been entering this beautiful "3d blackness" (I've got this term/description recently) the wasn't completely black... Sort of grayish surrounding with black "forms" floating around like in a lava lamp. Sometimes the area would start getting colors making it even more beautiful, but that was about it what I can remember, I would fall asleep and remember it only the next time I lay down to bed.
I also had few lucid dreams. I forgot the actual dreams but even today I clearly remember the realization within that I am dreaming, that it is my dream and that I can "do whatever I want" and it was such a good feeling... To be aware of yourself in a surrounding you can control completely. It was probably related to my real life experiences at the time when I was lacking control of many things and I felt like I was spiraling down in many ways.

So, to get back to today.

Since I became aware of AP again few weeks ago I have started trying to do it. Not occasionally but very, very often. Against the advice I've read somewhere that I should be attempting twice or three times a week, I'm at the 2-4 times a day stage. And I do see progress. In the mean time I've read all the Monroe's books as well as Xanth's guide and many other posts (this forum is GREAT, btw), compilations (like Frank's), etc. And they have all been very helpful.

My first attempts were more around trying to relax properly. To be aware of my body, the breathing, the energy circulating around.

I have found somewhere a QHHT script with a healing technique that was suggesting to imagine a stream running from above towards us that is not just crystal clear, but like it is a liquid crystal. And then we point the stream towards our chakras. And we deep dive into the experience of the crystals "enlightening" our chakras. I did this on the first or second evening, before going to sleep, and I was surprised in the morning of the positive effect it had on me! I clearly felt a physical "feeling better" in the areas where I was directing the stream. I had lost some symptoms of the issues I'm having for quite some time. It is my own personal miracle and I still cannot believe how easy it is.
My trials to AP continued, daily.

I had two main issues with the process: I couldn't stop my mind from "commenting" the entire experience and every little step and that was pulling me back constantly and I couldn't relax my eyes enough so whenever I was entering the "3d blackness" my eyes would start flickering and opening, like they wanted to gain back the control of the visuals in my mind.

Also, in real life I am very, very visual. I am daydreaming without an issue, I have no problem to imagine anything at all and "feel" it with any of my senses. But as soon as I lay down to try an AP and I close my eyes, my imagination goes vacant. I'm unable to imagine anything at all. It is very frustrating.  So, instead of imagining and focusing on an object in front of me (a dot, a vortex or whatever) I started doing what I'm doing during the day: I pick a topic and then I imagine the entire situation, with surroundings, characters, dialogues, as much senses as possible and this worked great in suppressing the physical reality of the moment. In the beginning this would lead me very fast to sleep, but after few attempts I was able to stay conscious for longer periods of time.

Now, in the physical world my first degree peers are perceiving me as someone with a stable and strong attitude, standpoint. People take my comments and observations very seriously. I am often asked for advice or some kind of help. I do tend to "naturally" understand people and behavior patterns and it helps me helping them. Every time I see a "deviation" in anyone's behavior (behavior is not a good word, it's more of a feeling how they feel) I have an urge to help them. Over years I got used to this: it has built a lot of confidence in my appearance. But this seems to prevent me from AP-ing so far. It is really hard to get rid of yourself (the thoughts) when you are so used to have them and believe in them. I have realized I have a pretty strong ego, individuality, I have to somehow get rid of. It's really hard. Harder than I could imagine. Especially that although I have all the confidence, deep down I am very insecure as I am not even close to a person I want to be, am ashamed actually of the many choices I have made throughout my life, but I keep the confident side expressing almost all the time as I find it essential in raising my daughters (and it is helpful).

My first serious milestone came in yesterday. I don't know now where I read it, but someone, somewhere, has mentioned that a very good attempt would be to concentrate on a high pitch sound if we can hear it and then to focus on it more. And this was my personal breakthrough so far. When I lay to bed and started with relaxation I have immediately noticed the high pitch sound.
Up until that point I was expecting to sense some sort of vibrations and this was "proved" after listening to the first Gateway experience CD a couple of times, as I was really feeling those vibrations building up from my legs up and the vibrations were of low frequency (however, these vibrations were never been able to spread to my head - I could spread them everywhere, but my neck was a hard limit for them to spread further up).
Now it was different. The sound was of a very high frequency and I did not "hear" it but somehow I've sensed it. I was just aware of it. And it was in my head. The moment I have started to move my focus and concentration towards that sense, the "sound" started to get stronger and stronger and was coming in waves. At one point it got really strong and the wave started to expand downwards my body. I felt the wave expanding my chest in a moment and that's when "I was back in my body" or that's how it felt (like I was tuning myself to a higher frequency with the high pitch sound but then I have de-tuned my self to my physical body frequency - not sure if this is an accurate description, but, like many others, I'm pretty speechless in describing the actual sensations). The de-tuning moment felt a bit disappointing. I knew it happened because of some sort of a fear of the unknown (not consciously) but I have solved few of the earlier blocks: while I was expanding the high pitch sound I was way deep into the 3D blackness and I no longer had issues with either my thoughts or my eyes. I was so into the experience that even I have felt my eyes tremor a few times I was just beyond the point where that could impact my experience. My thoughts were also much more focused and there was no any side commenting of the events.

Today I have confirmed already once I was beyond the previous issues with my eyes and my thoughts but was snapped back again. Not because of the fear, but my daughter came into the room.

So I'm pretty happy with where I am at the moment, what I have achieved so far in just a few weeks (probably a bit less).  And can't wait to finally experience it fully aware.

The process seems like an old platform game and I'm passing through various levels, each with its own "queen" at the end that I need to master how to pass :) Looking forward to reach the final one!

It does seem I'm pretty close. The excitement I feel because of it also seems somewhat more mature than the excitement I was feeling earlier. I'm somehow more excited about it and more calm at the same time. I have grown a level of understanding that I cannot understand :) But I do understand that this whole feeling is nothing compared to the actual AP experience (reminds me of the entrance exams for the electrical engineering university - when I was preparing for it, it seemed like the toughest thing I have achieved/learned in my life, but as soon as I was accepted and the studies started, I have dismissed the entire entrance exam preparation as a ridiculous event).

I'd really love to be able at some point to be as helpful as many of the members here are in the astral plane as I sort of have that need to help already (in real life I'm usually doing it so naively that i never care about how that affects me in the process). I'm just not sure if I am mature yet enough for the task - it does feel like I'd need A LOT of personal development before I'll be able to do many great things I have read about.
Despite the "status" I hold in real life, as I mentioned above, I do not actually feel like that at all; I'm sort of afraid of confronting who I really am, afraid of seeing and realizing it. But I'm dedicated now to kickstart the journey and can't wait to learn (I loved that my whole life) and get better no matter how painful the process might be.
Before each attempt I set my goal as to meet my guide. I just hope I did not make a deal before this life on Earth to try to do things without the guides like I read someone here on the forum did :)

This was a bit longer introduction, not planned to be so, but thanks for reading and sorry! And thanks for sharing all your experiences and thoughts, they've been really helpful! Hope to see ya all one day over there!
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Nameless

Hello Illuminated and welcome,

I like your grasp of the situation and how you seem to be able to handle yourself and know yourself pretty well despite that you may not always feel that way. You've already passed a number of roadblocks, like learning to distract yourself with a created scenario you could get lost in. Kids do this so easily and it is usually termed as a daydream. Remember that, daydreams are powerful things and truly are the core of imagination.

You also explored the high pitch and followed it, whether that was because you had studied up or because it just felt right it was indeed the right thing to do. You're progress has been phenomenal. You said at the top you don't really remember Aping but felt like you did. I'd hazard to say you have already been through a number of levels and now it's time to wake up what it all means. I think most of us here have come to realize that a LOT or work takes place that we are unaware of till some appointed time.

I can sympathize with that feeling of not being worthy. The fear and the aw can be overwhelming at times even as you appear to just flow right through it with no qualms. It's an inside job for sure. Haha, I know exactly who you refer to with making a deal but I'll let that person speak for themselves if they choose.

We've done some interesting experiments from time to time so perhaps you will see us or we will see you 'over there'. :-)

If you have any questions or find you just need to talk or let it out feel free. We've pretty much all been there so while sometimes we don't say much we do tend to pay attention.

Nameless
Remember, You came here to this physical earth to experience it in its physical form. NPR will always be there.

illuminated

Nameless, thanks a lot for the kind words!

Not being worthy is exactly how I feel, I hope I'll find a way to overcome it.

Quote from: Nameless on May 19, 2020, 20:12:32
... You said at the top you don't really remember Aping but felt like you did. I'd hazard to say you have already been through a number of levels and now it's time to wake up what it all means. I think most of us here have come to realize that a LOT or work takes place that we are unaware of till some appointed time.
...

After everything I have read, I believe the same thing, that I did it. And I'm afraid I'll remember it at some point and be disappointed with myself. But even then, I'm ready to improve and move on. I have many questions and feel hungry to learn; not just the helping part but beyond. It's very intriguing... how everything works, although I don't believe I can understand that yet. Also why, but that's even further beyond my level of comprehension.
Interesting part is that everything i have read so far, experiences not only within our levels of ascension, but also the other worlds'/realities', doesn't seem odd to me at all.
I remember reading an experience of a user Gini or Giny... visiting an out-of-Earth realm and meeting a ball shaped being completely unaware of anything else - even that made sense. I could not only imagine it, but somehow understand it.

I also cannot believe what I'm experiencing these days and how I behave. I have definitely changed fundamentally. A lot of my views and opinions of various people and events are now so different that I cannot recognize myself. We'll see where all that leads. I don't intend to stop learning and (re)searching now.
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Lumaza

 Wow, what a great opener. Here is a man who knows what he wants and will work towards getting it and you will because of that!  :-)

Nameless gave you some great pointers and tips above. It sounds like you are becoming very versed with our little Forum here, so I don't think you need to pointed at the stickies. You have likely already found their improtance to our practice here.

I can see you are a mature, educated gentleman and one that is quite "analytical" as well. So, I will respond alike in my post here as well.

Learning to passively observe. It sounds so simple, but many thing in this practice "sound" simple to do.
When I was new to this, a NP Mentor/Guide appeared in a experience and taught me the importance of just observing. He actually taught me all kinds of things like "depth perception, navigating my surroundings, grounding myself, etc. To learn how to just observe and "allow" what's going to happen to happen will get you far here.  

Focus-finding a target of focus that works for you on a personal level
What are your Hobbies? What kind of repetitive motion sports do you prefer? Driving simulations. There are a ton of things you can focus on. You can create a focal point outside of your body. You can use a tactile approach. I find that one great. Just now, I completed my daily Phase soak session. I opened with a very brief Mantra. Then I turned my focus towards my hands and feet. For the last year now, when I relax, I instantly become aware of a buzzing/pins and needles sensation in my feet and hands. I now use that to my advantage. So, after I felt the pins and needles strongly, I began to expand that sensation very slowly beyond my hands and feet. Meaning outside of them. I stayed with that focus for a few more minutes and found that I had already shifted my consciousness. That will happen often, if you allow it to. I didn't expect, question, analyze, nothing. All I did is passively observe what was occurring and found myself soon in it.

Focus is very important. You need to find your own though. In my Doorway thread I have a number of simple things that work for "some" people. That's the thing though, it seems to be different for many people.

You stated above that you are very good with "imagery", but when you try to utilize it on demand, it doesn't work for you. The reason is, all your life you have been taught that this physical is all there is. You have lived a life based on your 5 senses. Now you are learning to "de-program" that programming. Your physical self will fight tooth and nail to keep you 100% focused on the physical. So, it just found a successful way to "block"  you from going further. Now, you need to find a way around that block. I found that people have a lot of success by using "mental associations". Simple things like colors and geometric shapes. You could also slowly recite the Alphabet. Take a few seconds on each letter. Once again, don't force anything or even expect it. What did you do the last time you went into your kitchen? Did you open the fridge or a cupboard, get a drink of water or another beverage? Well, replay that in your mind.

You stated that you practice often. That's great. But you don't need to put a lot of time into each one. There is so many things you can do from just sitting in you chair. You could focus on the energy in your hands for a few minutes. You could even focus on "etheric" body motions. Look out your window. Close your eyes and focus on what you just saw. Look around your room, focus on what you see. You could utilize your breathing to help your etheric body as it expands. Learn to hold your focus, to strengthen it. They say fish can hold it their focus on one thing longer than a Human can. According to new research, with the advent of the cellphone/I Phones, the ability of Humans to hold their focus on one thing has diminished even further. Those are all easy focal targets that you could do at any time of the day. They will also prime the pump for you main session.

Once you successfully create a blueprint that works for you, you can use it now, but unfortunately it will change. When I was new, my first successful OBE came very quickly and totally unexpected. That's likely why it was successful. I didn't have time to overthink it. I just followed the instructions I was given and it worked, It had to do with the simple focus of staring a lit candle. I then blew the candle out. Closed my eyes and saw the "imprint" of the flame there. It's kind of like when you look at a screen too long, close your eyes and you still see the frame of the screen there. When the flame disappeared, I willed the image back. I did that for I don't know how long and soon found myself vibrating quite violently, with a the sound of a roaring Helicopter about to land on my roof. I was surreal. But then I went back to the well too much and it had run dry. That technique no longer worked for me and forced me to explore something new.

That's enough for now. I will watch how your progression in this thread evolves and respond to it accordingly!  :-)

Good Luck and Safe Travels!  :-)

"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

illuminated

Oh, wow, Lumaza, what a great message!

I really appreciate your explanations. I am analytical and your description resonates with me pretty well. I understand what you mean and I understand how I should apply it if I feel the need to change. I have read similar explanations elsewhere, but yours is a spot on for me. Thank you.

My trials are usually short, except when I'm going to sleep or for a nap, and I mostly have an analytical session with myself after each one (except for the few occasions when I went asleep during the trial).

I must say I really do feel more encouraged from both of you to continue than I expected I could be. Thank you both for that!

I will definitely update the progress as it happens.
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

illuminated

I have a question regarding the process. Would hypnosis help with it?

I'm not talking about the AP induction through hypnosis, but hypnotic help for calming down, keeping the focus and going with the flow. To have the hypnotic suggestion to "freeze", calm down and switch the focus to mind. So whenever one tries to AP, these actions would not be disturbed by the left side of the brain.
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Lumaza

Quote from: illuminated on May 21, 2020, 07:59:08
I have a question regarding the process. Would hypnosis help with it?

I'm not talking about the AP induction through hypnosis, but hypnotic help for calming down, keeping the focus and going with the flow. To have the hypnotic suggestion to "freeze", calm down and switch the focus to mind. So whenever one tries to AP, these actions would not be disturbed by the left side of the brain.
In a way, it is "self hypnosis". Look what you doing in it. You are thoroughly relaxing. You are mentally guiding yourself through the process and lastly, you are lowering your brain waves.

A valued member here named Baro-san's technique is based completely on "self hypnosis". If you have read any of my techniques here they align with that as well in ways as well. I even tell people to stop using the word "try". In Hypnosis the word try is used when failure is the expectation. Example: Now "try" to lift your arm. The person fails. Change that to "lift your arm". a command and now they succeed. It is well known in that field of study that the word try implies failure. 
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

illuminated

Thanks Lumaza, yes, I think I've figured that out. The entire process does seem like hypnosis, that's how I got the idea. Seems like a hypnosis session would tremendously help enforce the process.

After days of measurable progress I'm stalling now, for the last two days, so thinking about the ways to (re)gain the momentum. Your explanation above about the strong connection to physical (body) has nailed it. That's exactly what's happening with me, I can feel it. I don't want it, I'm almost shouting during my attempts to let go, but at that point it's just a move made out of desperation and I'm already out.

I have started yesterday the "phantom movement" practice during the day, found it in your doorway thread. Not easy to do yet: I feel my physical hand twitching in both directions as I imagine the hand movement, but will keep trying.
Also, I've decided to go back to basics and dedicate today to the simple shapes thing. I'll report how it goes.
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Lumaza

 A great way to relax before a AP session is to use "progressive relaxation". You begin with a focus on your toes and work your way up until the last thng you are focusing on is a spot over your head. You use mental affirmations while doing it, like "My toes are relaxed, relaxed, relaxed, my toes are relaxed. Then you move to the bottom of your foot, up to you ankle, shins, etc., Pay particular attention to your "jaws/mandible" though. They say the last muscle to let go when you lie down to fall asleep or relax is your jaw muscle.

I find progressive relaxation exercise to be quite good because they also help you get in touch with your own vibratory state and energy body from there you can mess around with moving that energy to other places on your body. As I staffed above, I find it really easy to hold a strong focus on my hands and feet. When I relax, I become "aware" of the tingling sensations there. You will find that when you truly relax and stay conscious of it, you will be able to feel the hairs on your body. Every single sensation seems to become amplified to the max. That's why people have such a hard time with this practice. A simple itch becomes a major things if you allow it to. The more you practice, the easier it is to rid yourself of almost any nuisance or hinderance.
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

illuminated

Seems like I never had an issue with the relaxation part. In less than a minute I'm literally freezed. I have a "sense" of my body like it is bigger than it is and legs and arms are felt like they are "floating" a bit, although I cannot control them yet in that state.
Then I do the breathing and energy flow through the body imagining and it all happens pretty quickly.
Neck and head have always been pretty hard and I have to repeat constantly (almost like a hypnotic suggestion) to have them relax. The focus on the high pitch sound helps the best there so far - I somehow "loose interest" in my neck and my head with that sound and they don't bother me anymore.
Anyway, I'm dedicated to keep trying as often as I can. Don't want to stop. Will make this work one way or the other.
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Lumaza

Quote from: illuminated on May 21, 2020, 08:34:05
After days of measurable progress I'm stalling now, for the last two days, so thinking about the ways to (re)gain the momentum. Your explanation above about the strong connection to physical (body) has nailed it. That's exactly what's happening with me, I can feel it. I don't want it, I'm almost shouting during my attempts to let go, but at that point it's just a move made out of desperation and I'm already out.
Believe it or not, this is natural. Almost all of us have been down that road. It seems the more we learn, the more anxious we get. Expectations abound everywhere and we begin to pressure it. We can't force it. You have to relax and "allow" it to happen. In the past, I have had a few people question me on my use of the word "allow". They say "of course I'm allowing it, it's not like I am fighting it". But in a way they are fighting it. When you allow you completely relinquish control Many people can't do that. Tom Campbell once said years something along the lines that you have to have the mindset that if I don't return, so be it. That takes a lot of trust. But it's the truth. By allowing it, you are also overcoming your fear of it.

Quote
Also, I've decided to go back to basics and dedicate today to the simple shapes thing. I'll report how it goes.
Been there done that. I have returned "back to the drawing board" many times, lol! It helps too. I call it "rehashing" or a "walk down memory lane"!  :-) Nobody ever said we had to work "hard". I always strived to work "smart". I bring a lot of simplicity and common sense into the techniques I use and share with others here.
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

illuminated

Yeah, it does seem like I'm forcing it now and have to "go back to basics". :)

I completely understand everything you say, yet, it seems so bloody hard to implement it :)

I like the rehashing reference, it resonates with my education/work :)
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla

Lumaza

Quote from: illuminated on May 21, 2020, 08:51:20
I completely understand everything you say, yet, it seems so bloody hard to implement it :)

That's the catch 22 here. Once you see how easy it is you will realize it was you that made it difficult. Like I said, all your life you have lived "only" a physical existence. That is a ton of programming. Now you are altering the program and the program doesn't like being altered. That's why affirmations are so important. You are constantly affirming that yes this is okay. You aren't asking for it. Instead you are acknowledging that it is a part of your being. My nightly affirmations are basically along the lines of "I am consciously aware in my sleep, KNOWING I am sleeping". I used to use the word Dream instead of sleep, but I don't recognize it as what would be labeled a Dream anymore. A simulation, yes. A parallel reality, yes. But not the definition of the word Dream as it is known today.
"The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence."  Nicolai Tesla

illuminated

After 4-5 attempts today to "move the ghost limb", I see progress. At the last attempt I was laying on the bed and after "swirling" my ghost legs for a couple of minutes I have imagined I have a straight metal rod coming right from my ceiling, passing me on my right side, straight down. A bit rusty, but cold and firm. So I have imagined I got hold of it with both of my hands and pulled my self up. I can swear I felt movement of my torso upwards as my head stayed down and started to turn a bit to back (not physical torso and not physical head).
Now, the head shift brought me back but it was a great next step/milestone for me.
This has been as far going out as possible until now. Very happy!
"My brain is only a receiver, in the Universe there is a core from which we obtain knowledge, strength and inspiration."
-- Nikola Tesla