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Selski's Journal

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EscapeVelocity

Love the stories Selski!

#98 I can comment on...

Many of my very low-level awareness dreams deal with a degree of frustration in trying to locate things in various environments, mostly houses or buildings which seem familiar, but either the environment or the 'thing' to be located is continually morphing or changing beyond my ability to keep up with it, hence a certain frustration.

With regard to #98, I had this dream back in June-

Early morning, 3 dreams in succession, I forgot the first one and the third was also somehow lost...the second went like this-

I was in a hotel, primarily the lobby area, very fancy and plush, looking for something...very low level awareness...I marched from one end of the lobby to the other, not finding what I expected and growing more frustrated...

At some point, I passed a woman sitting on a couch with a leopard resting next to her. As I turned back to re-trace my steps, the leopard bit me on my left arm and we stood there, immobile, staring at one another. I had a moment of fear but then realized I was NP; there was a bit of pain which startled me; but I was stuck...dealing with these incongruities..

I stared at the leopard , the moment not shaking me, and sent forth a feeling of warmth and love...it's bite relaxed for a moment.

This resulted in the leopard somehow increasing in size ten-fold...now my entire torso and head was within its mouth, its fangs gently but firmly biting into my back below my shoulder blades and the front teeth dug in beneath my rib-cage... this did cause me a bit of concern, a bit of physical concern but also something more energetic...

I did the only thing that the NP has taught me as a last resort, and that was to communicate as much 'love' as I was capable of at the moment...and the 12 foot tall leopard released its' bite on me...and I awoke...

EV



Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
                                                          -O. Wilde

Selski

Thanks EV.  :-)

The 'pain' test is one I'm familiar with - although I suspect I'm going to have to relearn how to deal with it, given that my lucidity seems to be no longer as important. When I'm lucid I know exactly what to do - become a hologram. However, whilst that works a treat if I retain lucidity AND am able to see the thing that is causing me pain, if my lucidity lessens, then one of two things happen. Either my NP personality kicks in and I choose to leave that place (i.e. awaken) or I drift right back to believing it's all physical.  :-o

Typing this up, I'm realising that for a month or two now I haven't made myself wake up. Perhaps the NP side of me is progressing nicely. I hope so.

I'm quite reluctant (and have always been) of exuding love in the NP. I don't really know why - thinking about it now, perhaps it's because I deem it a bit amateurish. Looking back at my experiences involving pain, I tend to focus on transmuting the pain into something else. Whenever I'm being harmed, I also change MYSELF rather than try to change the other person/character. Perhaps that's just part of my psyche - self-focused, inward rather than outward. Hmmmm. Food for thought.

Saying all that, I do like to experiment in the NP, so I'll no doubt give your idea a shot. One thing that springs to mind when I imagine myself gushing love is that I'll be pretending and it will be corny rather than sincere. Ha - should be fun whatever happens. That last sentence wasn't very sincere, was it? I'm amazed the Dream Operators want to use me - I'm not exactly ideal material for them.  :wink:  :-D
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

I'm in an art class of some kind. One young girl, probably early teens, shows the class her painting. It's watercolour, abstract, subtle colours and really good. Unfortunately, the paper she is using isn't for watercolour paints - it's more for drawing, so it's way too thin.

I know I've got three watercolour pads and offer to give her (and everyone else who hasn't got the right paper) a sheet of mine. But when I go to get the pads out, the two which are A4 size haven't got any blank sheets left - I've used them for washes or to practise on. I do have a bigger pad, which is larger than A1, so probably A0 if there's such a size. I know I haven't done much painting in this pad, so should have plenty spare.

When I open it, it's full of images. These images are 3-D and form the basis of a game. The pictures are incredibly detailed, beautifully-carved and exquisite to look at. On top of a castle, the stonework is in relief - I am able to pick one stone up off the page (it's about the same size as a marble, but square and made of metal) and it's attached to the main picture by a magnet. It's amazingly done - each page of the book is filled with these images predominantly castles, soldiers, battles etc., - every one in metallic brown hues.

I realise it's a present to me from someone. But I can't think who could have sent me this; why; and when. I scan the images looking for a clue. On the second page, I spot some smallprint and notice an online username I recognise. I'm about to point it out to everyone, but can no longer find it. I'm quite excited to play the game and see what it's all about.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

The theme of the images is a bleedthrough from waking life. I'm currently re-watching Game of Thrones from the beginning as I've pre-ordered Season 7 and it's due to arrive in December. In addition, I play GoT Risk on a regular basis. Both myself and OH are big fans and whenever a new season comes out, we watch all the previous ones beforehand. (If anyone is reading this having already watched Season 7, please please please don't give anything away - we've managed to avoid all the hype and know nothing about it. ~ Thanks.  :-))

Painting classes are fairly regular occurrences given I sometimes dabble with watercolours. In them, there's usually a piece of art or two that grabs my attention. However, I haven't painted for a good couple of years - I'm more into colouring at present.

Having typed up the dream, it seems quite ordinary composed mainly of waking life stuff. It was an enjoyable dream, nonetheless.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

I'm at an outdoor meal - lots of people. Behind us is a river. I go to this river and stand in it - it comes up to my knees. The water is very clear and I am able to see to the bottom. I'm looking for life and see a tiddler right at the bottom. I watch him for a while, then a lizard-type fish appears nearer to the surface.

Later, I'm standing at the side of the river and two tortoises are trying to climb out right near me. They are close together, young and probably related. I move a little to my right as I don't want them to suffer by trying to get to me. They follow me and once again try to clamber out.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

In town with familiar people in a car. I'm not driving. We come to a junction and straight ahead opposite the junction is a large store. I recall having bought furniture from this place before and know that if we take a left and follow the road, we'll eventually come to my house, where the furniture was delivered.

We go left and I'm expecting to recognise the area any minute. We round a corner (to the right) and instead of my house, there is a bridge with a river running underneath. However, the river has broken its banks and it's running very fast and has flooded a few buildings on the other side. We are not sure whether we can drive across the bridge safely, but decide to give it a go as it doesn't look too treacherous.

We make it to the other side but now we don't quite know what to do as we are lost. I can't think where the house is and reckon we must have gone wrong somewhere. There are a number of people milling around outside one of the flooded buildings. They are office workers and have been drenched so are wearing company dressing gowns in white towelling with a blue 'Halifax' embroidered on them. They don't look too shocked or worried - it's as if they're used to being flooded every so often and know the drill.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

This past month or so, my focus on dreaming has waned somewhat. I haven't even listened to Uncle Bob in that time. Just other things in life have popped up that I prefer to do at present. Hence I'm not completing my journal daily and hence less recall. It is what it is - and I'm sure I'll regain enthusiasm eventually.

The above two dreams I note for various reasons. One is the detail in both. The clear water; the specific animals; the embroidery; the specific word. Another reason is the NP recognition of the furniture store. This dream memory was strong and knowing the house was in a certain direction was also strong - however I couldn't remember in the dream having ever lived there. Perhaps it was a dream memory from a dream my dream self dreamt...  :-P

I tend to accept the general interpretation of water as representing emotions in my dreams. I was pleased to note that, in both cases, the water (at least when I was around) wasn't too rough or choppy - or dangerous. In fact, in the first dream it was clear and calm.

I had other dreams last night - I remember at least two others, but not the content. That's lack of enthusiasm for you!
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

My parents have moved to a new house. I'm going to visit them for the weekend. The area is somewhere unfamiliar to me. The house is large and my bedroom more than adequate.

As I'm unpacking, I have the idea to move in with them. They are both getting on in years and I know it won't be long before one of them dies. I think it would be a good thing to be there when the first one dies - in order to help the other. And I'd be able to help around the house so my Mum wouldn't have to do everything.

I suggest this to them and explain that they've probably got 5-10 years left. They seem agreeable to my suggestion. My Dad then tells me that he'll be around until 2019 and then he'll be gone.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

My parents are getting old and Mum has to go for a colonoscopy next week. It might be nothing; it might be something. Obviously, it's on my mind.

What is strange is that whilst in the dream, I didn't give one thought to my OH. He just wasn't part of the dream - not even a memory. In the dream, I knew that I didn't currently live with my parents and instead owned a house myself, but my dream self didn't remember that I was living with my partner. This is a recurring theme and it's a puzzling one. Considering he's a massive part of my waking life, it's odd that he doesn't take much part in my dreaming life.

The year from Dad could well be correct. He's got nothing life-threatening...but I know he's ready to go. I love it when dream dates/numbers/etc., make sense. Often they're illogical, but when they do 'fit' waking life, I listen.

The unfamiliarity of where they live is related to how our relationships have changed over the years - mine & Mum's; mine & Dad's; and Mum's and Dad's. It's another theme that crops up from time to time.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

This past few nights have seen dreams of great detail, almost unnecessarily so. In addition, one dream had my dream self semi-asleep with the typical pre-OBE radio noises which I was able to focus on, despite my dream self being disturbed in the bedroom.

I add the above notes in the journal as I suspect they are messages from the Dream Operators that they are still around and simply waiting for me to regain focus on dreaming once more. I know that for some people, once they pay no heed to dreams, they pretty much stop dreaming (or should I say, stop remembering). Not so with me. I may get fewer dreams, but they are still rich, full and deeply involved.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

In an effort to return to dream journalling, I'm posting this today. Still getting lots & lots of varied and interesting experiences on a nightly basis and it would be a shame not to record them somewhere. So here it will be.  :-)
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Yesterday I was doodling with some new pens and drew a picture of 3 owls.

I'm in a large building and there are half-a-dozen tawny owls on the rafters. It's nice to watch them. I show someone my latest drawing of owls and they come to life on the page. They are no longer owls, but cats, sort of dancing on the tree branch.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I've gone to see my boss for a general progress report. At some point during the evening, he tells me I must go and see the rainbow on the mountain. He's got something to finish off first, but will join me shortly. I ask some others if they are going and if I can go with them. They seem reluctant but agree. I follow them to the mountain which is a big building with two rooms. Inside one of the rooms is a multi-coloured fish swimming through the air. This is the 'rainbow'.

I watch it for a while, fascinated. And wonder how it breathes in the air. I go into the other room where some other people are and we begin talking.

Later I'm back with my boss and have stayed the night. I'm trying to wake up but am feeling very sleepy. My boss is a bit peeved with me stopping the night as he's got things to do and I'm 'in the way'. A little boy is dropped off at the house as the boss' wife looks after him during the day. He's about 3-years old. He's brought a little toy, a soft rubber thing which he is showing me. I tell him it's soft to touch and put it to his face. I ask him what it is - he tells me it's a troll.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

A group of us are looking for somewhere to live/work. We are exploring an old office block/house. There are many storeys. We eventually get to the top storey which entails quite a few steep rickety steps. In the attic, it is as if no-one has been up there for decades. A large spindly spider is in the centre of the room on the ceiling and shoots black wispy ribboned shadows at anyone who gets close. I refuse to enter the room because of the spider and state that I wouldn't want to work up here anyway due to the amount of stairs.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Three creatures. Some bleedthroughs. A definite lucid trigger (the steps) which I missed. Good recall of three separate dreams considering I haven't bothered writing anything up for at least a month.

Not sure they're worth thinking about but I'll come back with any thoughts if I get any lightbulb moments.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Three dogs running around, one of them was Archie. Mum was also there.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

My best friend from childhood, a musical artist, had rented her home out to another artist, a male. When she returned, he'd left some of his music and she listened to it. She made some comments and was going to send them to him as he'd got some things wrong. Technicalities or copyright issues.

She wasn't happy with the way he'd left her house - it was dark with the curtains drawn. She got to tidying up and I watched her and her friend put the throw back on the large settee. The throw was pale stripey pastel colours.

She opened the curtains and we decided it was a warm enough day (despite it being winter with a threat of snow) to open the front door. Then we all went for a walk outside in our t-shirts. I commented to everyone that it was December and here we all were in our summer clothes.

In this dream, I was a participant (so not an observer) but acted more like an extra in my friend's dream.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Yesterday we had weather warnings of snow and as I'm typing this now, it's coming down. It's that pretty snow at the moment and it's only around 1cm deep. I believe other parts of the country have it much deeper.

I was also too hot in bed last night and threw the covers off (maybe TMI but I'm going through the initial stages of menopause).

As I struggled to get to sleep, I began thinking of the years when the River Thames used to freeze over and wondered why it never did anymore.

I think the above three factors played a large part in my second dream.

My childhood friend and I are no longer in touch and I sometimes spend difficult times thinking about how 'small' my life is getting and will continue to get. That's perhaps why my role in the dream was minimal. I sometimes burst into tears at the thought of losing my parents (they are both still alive, thank goodness, but are in their 70s and of course won't last forever). I know these tearful episodes are part of the menopause, but that doesn't stop them being upsetting and real.

I also recall a later dream with my childhood friend's brother, but can't remember much detail. When I was young, my family lived with their family on two separate occasions and the pseudo brothers & sisters I gained (I'm an only child) pop up in my dreams from time to time.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

I feel like an old banger with my dream journalling at the moment. Not a rotten sausage, but a clapped-out car. I keep sputtering and starting, then stalling. Then putting myself in the garage awaiting a beautiful, sunny day when I can cruise along enjoying the scenery.

I digress.  :-D

Dreams of late have been mundane, daily ruminations of life, love and everything in-between. Last night I had a very long spell of NP awareness (not waking consciousness, but my usual level of alertness these days). The experience lasted quite some time...but because it was during an earlier sleep cycle, it's all-but forgotten. I do recall knowing that if I could retain the awareness for another 'round' I'd become a "permanent fixture in that reality". That wasn't meaning I'd be dead, but that I'd pass some sort of dream level. I think (although I can't fully recall) that I lost awareness not long after having this realisation.

The night before threw me an unusual experience. Whilst I can't recall any detail per se, the following day (yesterday) miniscule fragments drifted into my waking awareness throughout the day - enough to know there was something 'extra' going on, but not enough to latch onto what that 'extra' entailed. Every time the dream snippet entered my field of consciousness, I'd feel a small rush of excitement. And just like when we snatch a look at something behind our closed eyelids, as soon as I tried to focus, it was gone. 'Just like that' (said in a Tommy Cooper voice).

It's quite obvious that I need to journal more regularly.

And so it begins again...  8-)

To anyone who's reading this, wishing you a wonderful & peaceful Christmas.  :-)
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Rakkso

Hi Selski merry christmas to you too!! and to every reader here happy holidays and I hope you all get lots of fun and good times with the loved ones. Later :-)

Nameless

MERRY CHRISTMAS  to you too Selski. I hope the holidays bring you something unexpected and joyful. I can relate to the menopause.

Selski

Thank you Rakkso and Nameless.  :-D

(Nameless - the menopause is rubbish, isn't it? I wouldn't mind if it lasted two weeks and then was all done with, but oh no, it goes on for years. Reading about, I think I've got it mild, but it's still a pain in the posterior. Anyway, enough about that...)
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

What a busy night! I spent most of yesterday being a lounge lizard and lazing around watching telly. And eating chocolate.  :-D

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the detail from last night's escapades was bleedthrough. However, what is worth noting is that as I was going to sleep, my NP awareness was very much alive and kicking. I had fun zooming my consciousness up, down and any which way. Down seems to be my preference and comes the easiest to me. It involves focusing on the near-blackness behind my eyes and mentally making it blacker and lowering the black to go deep. This triggers my consciousness to move downwards and down it goes, through the bed, through the floor and so on. Last night I had plenty of very brief zooming session with two not necessarily controllable - during one I went up and another I went forwards, past the end of the bed (and past the TV to my right [which incidentally isn't there in waking life]) and through to the bathroom [which also incidentally isn't next to the bedroom].

In addition, at one point I noticed that my right eye was open and could see the bedsheets but I was still in the NP zone. This also was false - I wear an eyemask and if my waking eye was open, it would see blackness.

It's as if my NP awareness is housed in another reality. And whilst I retain a lot of waking life memories during these episodes, I don't fully recall what I should be seeing, or where I should be going.

These episodes were during my first sleep cycle and so I'm assuming that I wasn't altogether 'with it' as my fully lucid experiences tend to occur during my last sleep cycle, just before awakening for good.

Later on I told a dream character (my ex-hubby in waking life) that I was dreaming and managed to hold the dream. We went outside where I wondered out loud whether what I was seeing was the same as him. I was looking at a pretty garden full of colourful flowers with bumblebees the size of blackbirds. I then mused whether he could hear what I could hear - choral music - as I looked over the field at the church with the high steeple. I watched him try to listen for this music, but suspected he couldn't hear it. I mused that I was in my dream and he in his, and our dreams had overlapped somewhat. That was a cool experience as I was able to talk about dreaming during the dream without it booting me out of it.

Lots of colour, lots of detail and a positive start to dream journalling once again.

I'm a happy Selski today.  :lol: 8-)
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nameless

Cool, I would have thought for sure you'd get kicked out talking about the big (no no). LOL

EscapeVelocity

Tuning the instrument, eh Selski?

Chocolate seems to have a special and unique relationship to the NP, lol. I wonder sometimes.

First some consciousness 'bounce-around', maybe a slightly etheric exercise, you dodged any confusions and stretched your muscles. Aren't those first REM periods SO MUCH chaotic fun!?

The colors, the sounds, the vividness and distinct quality to it all. The cognitive functioning, the internal dialog/knowing...all this despite being in a subdued awareness situation. More distractions that you noted, then ignored and blew past. Nicely done.

It's like you are checking the underlying programming, prepping your equipment; a kind of rehearsal, if you will. I've been through this 'systems check' a few times now; it's really cool to recognize it, like an adventure park ride about to launch...5, 4, 3, 2...
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
                                                          -O. Wilde

Selski

I like the way you look at it EV. I hadn't thought of it in so many ways. To me, it seemed to be rather random but yes, you're right. I'd like a bit more awareness, but I also know that the Dream Operators know where that usually leads... :roll:  :-P

Actually, talking about sex (which we weren't), a couple of nights ago I was semi-aware in an earlier phase and thoughts naturally turned to sex (ahem). I was trying to manifest a man to play with and at first it wouldn't work. I persisted with my thoughts and I guess the Dream Operators 'gave up' on me and sent me a male dream character. The equivalent of a blow-up doll  :-D. He was very muscular with a wide neck & chest and slim waist, showing off his 6-pack. I noticed he was also covered in a shiny sheen, not sweat but not grease.

I won't go into the actual experience, but note it here once again for the level of detail and my memory (some three days later) of the episode. It wasn't particularly memorable...but it's still easily brought back.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Last night was another busy one...but most of it forgotten. I suspect I'm coming down with a cold and guess my body/mind need lots of undisturbed rest.

What I do remember is the last dream.

It was all quite mundane where I was on holiday with three other friends. We'd all journeyed in one car and during the holiday two of the friends had fallen out with me & one other. Some such nonsense about a light bulb, if I recall.  :-D

Anyway, they decided to 'get us back' by leaving a day early and taking the only car, rendering us stranded. We were mulling over what to do, when they returned. It had been a prank to simply scare us. We didn't find it terribly funny and sulked.

We were all sitting in a row on a bench in a park when I noticed a very large snake on a low branch of the nearest tree. I said aloud that England didn't get those kinds of snakes. I wondered if it was a python, but my friend told me it was another kind of snake (I forget what she said). It was all-but normal apart from it was a little too wide and its head a little too large.

It slithered over to us and we stayed exactly where we were. Not so much through fear, but perhaps through curiosity too. Thinking about my emotions, I wasn't fearful. Perhaps on some level, I knew this wasn't 'real', what with my comment about these snakes not being in this country and my observation that its size wasn't quite right.

It scanned my friend, looking for any illnesses/diseases etc. Then it moved onto my next friend and did the same. This friend wanted to do the same thing back to the snake. She reached her hand out but we told her to be careful as the snake might not want to be touched. The snake recoiled at her hand but didn't strike.


That's all I remember. The reason I've jotted it down is simply because when I was thinking about my recent dreams this morning before getting up, I noted that the bumblebees were larger than usual, and this snake was larger than it should be. Not sure whether that has any bearing on anything, but it's worth noting.

We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Norway. On holiday. There is a hotel we are looking at from the roadside. It's called Lex Rex Hotel (or Rex Lex Hotel - I can't remember which). It looks very grand from the outside - almost like a castle.

Inside we go to the bar and it's a poky little place. There are a few tables/chairs but they are bunched up together and there's barely any standing room. The actual bar is tiny with one member of staff. She's preparing for a New Year's Eve party and is a good hostess.

We go through to a larger room where the disco will be held. The DJs are playing music and asking the audience (a small number of workmen, holidaymakers and hotel staff) what the track is. A track comes on and, although most people seem to recognise the song, no-one knows its title. I'm amazed as it's such a common track - I wonder if perhaps in Norway it's not as well-known. I wait for someone else to get it, but eventually am prompted to give the answer - Riders on the Storm.

Another track comes on and at first I think it's Eels, but as the music progresses I realise it's not them. I know the song, but can't think of the band.


Lex Rex - Law of the King or King's Law. Cool. I've never been to Norway and can't think why that's popped up. In fact, this whole dream seems void of bleedthrough, which is unusual for me.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

A gymnasium. There are about thirty of us being taught how to deal with ammunition. The instructor shows us a very dangerous bomb. It's similar in size/shape to a baby's bottle - and made of clear plastic. There is a clear liquid inside. On one side of the bottle is a small spout with a tiny hole.

The instructor wants us to work out how to defuse the bomb. He gives us no clues and passes it to me. I tell everyone to move to one side of the gym and I go to the other with the bomb. I ask him if that will save anyone. He tells me it's doubtful. I have deliberately stayed with the bomb as, if a bomb is going to go off close to me, I would always want to make sure it killed me dead. I wouldn't want to survive a major bomb - I'd rather die.

I look at the thing and there are no catches, no rough edges, no hidden slots. Just this little spout, suggestive of drinking it. I can't imagine putting that liquid inside me and shake my head at the group, denoting that I've given up trying to find the way to defuse it.

A Japanese man comes over and takes the bomb from me. He's worked it out. He puts the whole thing in his mouth where it disintegrates and he swallows whatever is left. He doesn't blow up and we are safe.

The instructor explains that the liquid, whilst highly dangerous, becomes neutralised when mixed with saliva and our internal acids.


Another odd one. Saying that, I am currently playing Resident Evil which involves weapons and mixing stuff together so maybe that's come through.

We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Amongst other things, I dreamt about one of Mum's previous dogs, a Pomeranian called Oliver. In the dream, he was lively, happy and pleased to see me. In waking life, especially as he got older, he was a miserable, grumpy dog who liked no-one except Mum!

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I also dreamt I was with a friend and she was looking at a holiday home somewhere very sunny. I went with her but had to stay at the gates to wait. I had two books in my hand, one that I'd just got out from the library and was quite rare. The gateway where I waited was sandy at first, but then filled with water. Beyond it looked gorgeous - the light was almost blinding, especially reflecting off the white patio. I wanted to go and explore but knew I'd be trespassing. I decided to stand up and accidentally put both hands in the water to push myself up - meaning both books got soaked. This worried me a little, but I knew if I put them on the railings they'd soon dry in the sun.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Another dream where my new car needed a tweak or two as it was taking too long to actually stop. It would brake, but even though my foot was down on the floor, it would still roll slowly until it naturally stopped. My Dad went with me to the garage (along with Mum & Oliver) and he did all the dealings with the mechanic, explaining what was wrong and how to fix it.

The car dream is a two-fold one. Firstly, it's one of my known lucid triggers that a car I'm driving doesn't stop in good time. This was missed last night. Secondly, I get a new car every 3 years and I suspect I have this dream not long after getting each one. There's always something slightly wrong with the dream car and I have to take it to the garage. Sometimes I'm on my own, sometimes my Dad is with me.

~~~ooo000ooo~~~

I'm with a female colleague and there are only 3 of us in the office, the third being a young chap. The office is in town and we are surrounded by large shops. I tell her I'd love to go shopping (but know that I can't) and she replies that as long as I was back before 2.30pm, I can go. I look at the time. It's coming up to 1.30pm. I go on to explain that it's only because the shops are in my face. Where I live at home, I don't get to see any shops and so it's a novelty. The scene switches seamlessly and we are both out shopping together. Someone holds a very expensive-looking green dress up to me. It's lovely and matches my long hair. I'd like to know how much it is but also know I couldn't afford it and so leave the shop without asking.

Dresses again. Maybe I'm feeling old again. Although when I looked at myself in the mirror with the dress on, it wasn't actually me, although this didn't register at the time. I don't have long hair.

It was yet another busy night and there were more dreams that I haven't bothered to jot down, or have forgotten. Perhaps it was just a mixed bag of a night.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Nearly a month goes by and my dream journalling resolve was rather yellow-bellied wasn't it?!  :roll:

I'm a tourist. I'm with a group but not with them per se. It's as if I've gone on a day trip with a group of strangers. We are traversing the locality, enjoying the landscape features and scenic views.

As we reach a high peak, we look down where the landscape dramatically changes. The land ahead and below is darker with low-hung mist in places. It looks 'damp'. The rocks I'm looking at suddenly move slightly, then stop. I continue looking, concentrating and focusing and as I do so, the rocks take shape, becoming humanoid and aggressive to each other. Windows appear in the ground briefly then shift back to rock. A group member standing near me also sees this and points it out.

While this is going on, there is commentary about this dark place coming from somewhere. It could be a group leader, it could be a megaphone, it could be in my head as background. The details are that the land is dangerous and shouldn't be entered. It's a generic warning with no specifics.

The group are obviously more curious than scared as quite a few of us make our way down to the forbidden land. There is a definite stop-start of one land and the other, although there is no gap or visible dividing line. But neither do the lands merge or blur into each other. One simply ends as the other begins.

I show a modicum of caution as my first move is to put my hand into the new world, followed by just my head. I see that others in the group are already fully in looking around. This gives me confidence and I make to go in, but there is a force that makes it difficult. I don't feel 'pushed back' as such, it reminds me of a strong repelling magnetic field.

I pull my head out and turn around so that my back is against the dark world. I walk backwards into it and, whilst the field feels quite 'thick' near the edge, once I'm in it returns to normal and I can move about freely.

After a while wandering around, I come upon people. They are generally bigger than the average human, but not by that much. Say a height of around 9ft. They are not just taller though, they are bigger everywhere, so their heads are bigger, their hands are bigger and so on. They wear clothes and look human. They live here and are aggressive towards me.

One comes towards me and I warn her not to come any further as I've got a mirror with me. This stops her in her tracks and she moves away from me. I back away into a little room and another one makes his way to slam the door to trap me. I shout that I wouldn't bother as I can do 'this' as I push my hand right through the wall by the side of the door.

I walk through the wall and another one is walking towards me. I also walk towards him showing no fear and plenty of courage. I know he wants to hurt me, to crush me and I tell him that he can try if he wants, but I'll simply go right through him. He falters for a second of two, but perhaps curiosity gets the better of him and he comes forward once again.

I brace myself and start to go through him. The magnetic field is back and it's hard work trying to get into the middle of him. My face is level with his (he must be one of the shorter ones) and I can't seem to push on through. All sorts of thoughts go through my mind in the space of a nanosecond. Is this dangerous? Should I pull out backwards? I've never been in someone else for so long - will there be any side-effects? Is he doing something to me? Something to my mind? What should I do?


And I awake.

Now that I've written it out, I realise that none of the 'other' humans spoke. They understood me, but they never said anything, not even telepathically.

My NP awareness was strong throughout. I've experienced the abrupt change of one place to another before, although this wasn't a rocky dark place, it was a waterworld. The water began seemingly in a vertical line and I simply walked into it. Amaze-balls.

The experience smacks of a simulation. I've no idea what I was supposed to do or whether I got anything right. I doubt I passed as I awoke somewhat abruptly in the middle of a 'puzzle'.

It was a great adventure, I enjoyed it even when I wasn't sure what to do. If it was a simulation, the Dream Operators really know how to make stunning scenery!  8-) :lol:
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

A couple of nights ago I woke up in the early hours and decided that when I next fell asleep I wanted a good dream. Then I decided I wanted to meet my dream guide, Kay. And that it would be a good and interesting dream. Then I fell asleep.

And so I did meet her.  :-)

It was fairly brief, but we had a discussion about dreaming. In fact I brought it up first without mentioning the D word, whereupon she said the word. I pointed this out to her and she seemed blase about it. Perhaps I'm reaching a new NP awareness level where I'm not going to get thrown out every time I use the word, or any related words.

She didn't look like my old friend anymore either. I could see a resemblance, but she was more of 'herself' than the original K. Again, perhaps my physical senses are being removed as unnecessary and I'm beginning to peel back some layers.

The main thing about the experience was the fact that I 'requested' it (by wanting it) without going through any rigmarole affirmations or relaxation technique or any of that faffy stuff...and got it immediately.

I know what I need to work on...again. That's recall. If I'd have written it down as soon as I awoke, there would have been more to share. But most of it's gone.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

I've been giving quite a bit of thought to the NP personality of late. Specifically of its awareness.

In my latest simulation with the dream characters who were coming to get me, my first response about having a mirror was totally NP. I had no idea I was going to say that, or even that I had a mirror. My second response where I put my hand through the wall - I'd say that was my lucid self emerging and merging with my NP self. And the third response where I tried to put myself into and through a character was very characteristic of my lucid self.

So perhaps the balance was tipping from my NP self to my lucid self. The more lucid I got, the less likely I was of staying in the dream. Hmmm.

I wonder: Is the NP personality self-aware? Is that even possible? I think so, but it requires a lucidity that isn't how we would normally understand lucidity.

It kind of hurts my brain to think about it. Perhaps I'll start a separate thread about it as I'd love some input and feedback from other experiencers.
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Selski

Oooooh, I can add my paintings. Woop woop.

Meet the Tree Spirits.  :-D

We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nameless

Quote from: Selski on February 03, 2018, 19:30:20
I wonder: Is the NP personality self-aware? Is that even possible? I think so, but it requires a lucidity that isn't how we would normally understand lucidity.

It kind of hurts my brain to think about it. Perhaps I'll start a separate thread about it as I'd love some input and feedback from other experiencers.

Very good questions I too am trying to understand.

Love your painting, it's awesome and quite the surprise. <3

Selski

Thank you Nameless.  :-)

I think I will start a thread elsewhere...when I manage to collect my thoughts on the subject.  8-)
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.