Grief and Sex

[Eol007]

Hi Gemma,

Again so sorry to hear about you mum's passing!

From my experience it can very much increase. Although in my case this has occurred also following in the grieving had from the likes of relationship break-ups.

I can appreciate that these feelings are making you feel uncomfortable... There are different approaches to dealing with raised sexual feelings of this type. One would be to - roll with it and do nothing. Another is to vent and find release by what ever means you are comfortable with (in a safe personal environment) ... another again would be say to raise the energy to the heart (centre) or other centres, and convert it into a loving spiritual release rather than just a sexual release. Or any combination of these things! It will ease off in time which ever way you approach things!

The thing here is do what you feel most comfortable with, but I feel that this is not an uncommon part of the grieving process and certainly nothing to be ashamed or to feel really uncomfortable about.

Sorry if this sounds a very simplistic answer!

Kind wishes,


Stephen

[atalanta]

I have heard of people reacting in unusual ways to death and grief.  Some people for example, have been known to laugh at the funeral of a loved one, etc.

This is only a guess as to why this happens.  I think that most people are walking about these days disconnected to their emotions.  We are all so busy and haven't time to be quiet, introspective, emotional, intimate sexually and sensually, etc.  Instead, we drag ourselves through life acting tough and totally disconnected from each other and our inner world.  So that when something traumatic happens and some emotional release occurs, then it sort of opens the flood gates to all emotions and instincts.  It just sounds like your sexual instinct has been activated.  

EOL007 I think is totally right about what to do with this energy.  You haven't done anything wrong morally or psychologically or spiritually.  This is not an issue of morality anymore than say, having to eat to survive is.  Its just a bodily instinct that has become strong at the moment and will subside with time.  Hopefully, with EOL007 advice you will be able to gain some control over this more quickly.

I wish you well and am sure that your mother is safe and well.  Your loss is only a temporary physical one, you have not lost your mother's presence, love or spirit and one day you will be reunited.  Be gentle on yourself, she would not wish it otherwise.

[G3MM4]

How do I raise the energy to my heart chakras? Please don't tell me to try NEW, as it isn't very practical for me.

Thanks.

[Kazbadan]

In the past, when younger, i would have my sexual appetite increased in tha case of a big frustration (not achieving something, being angry,etc).

I am not a psycologist but i suppose that what you are feeling it´s a physical reaction for your bad moment. Like when someone is angry may have pain in is head.

I know that in this kind of situations, like yours, it is best to have a good nutrition: drink lots of water during the day, eat fruit and vegetables and avoid chocolates and sugar things that only give help for a short period. Pratice an energic sport. be with your friends the most as you can. avoid, int his phase of your life, get drunk (normal drunken state, as when you go to a disco with your friends) because in the next day it will be much more worst than ever.

this advices may sound stupid but help me a lot when i am depressed.

[Nay]

In my opinion it is simple as wanting to be loved and held after loosing someone so dear to you, it's not about sex at all.  I don't know your age but the two tend to merge together until your older and can tell the difference.

Atalanta, I sure hope my friends and family laugh at my funeral, sheesh..I would be the one crying for them, they'll still be stuck on earth while I'm back home..[^]

Nay

[G3MM4]

My sexual appetite has increased, but it's a solo thing rather than wanting to be with someone physically. I'm 22, and I do know the difference between true love and just sex. I just don't feel comfortable with it at all, and being with someone physically would make me feel even worse!

I don't get drunk or anything like that, on't eat a lot of chocolate etc, I am eating OK, but I can't sleep well, and I keep thinking "I just want to go home".

It's bloody horrible, that's all I can say to describe it. []

[Nagual]

Some people says that when a parent passes away, some (all?) of his energy will go to one of the children...  And vis versa.

[Rastus]

Love and lust are so intertwined.  I know many people over 30 that confuse the two.  I'm not saying someone of 22 can't keep them seperated, I'm saying I know many couples over 30 that couldn't.

I have found that sex is a great way to build energy.  The first time you go OOB during an orgasm is a milestone life event.  Conversely feelings of loss can through your balance off.  Just as you can use hate for other purposes (I absolutely do not reccomend ever attempting such a thing), so you can use sex (there are numerous paths and practioners that use Sex).

Your sex drive can be re-directed elsewhere.  Abstinance (meaning self abstinance) can help you raise and store energy.  What you do with the stored energy has nothing to do with way your raised it (some disciplines disagree).  So you can raise power via sex (or lack thereof), but then use the power to help your grieving, and feel no stigma for doing so

[G3MM4]

How confusing! LOL

I can tell you that both abstaining from sex in all forms and having sex (solo or otherwise) drains my energy... must be a knack to it or maybe everyone is different?

[Nay]

You're probably right G3MM4, everyone is different. [^]

Nay

[G3MM4]

Yeah, which isn't a bad thing... LOL

[Rastus]

I agree, everyone is different.

Which part is confusing?  I seem to confuse quite a few people, so I guess I need to be clearer.  Now you said you lose energy when you don't have sex or when you do have sex, is that what you really meant to say???  I didn't say how long to abstain []

Do you have a particular purpose in mind for raising energy?

I'll be candid, I have used Sex and Mastubation for healings.  The tricky part is to be dispassionate enough to not intertwine your emotions in your work.

Now if your not healing, but working on something else in general, you don't have to be as careful, but you should still be cautious.  Wiccans use sex in certain high rituals, and the results can be phenomonal!

[G3MM4]

I hope this is the correct place to post this thread.

I was wondering if grief can sometimes increase your sex drive, even if you don't want it to?

I'm grieving a lot at the moment for my Mum, and have noticed that my sex drive has dramatically increased. I'm not comfortable with it at all, although I'm not sure why. Maybe it could be some sort of comfort?

What do you think?