I think Karma has just bitten me in the backside..

[daem0n]

it depends on the outcome ..., and how the other person was treating his/ her partner, if he was only causing pain and limiting, i see no harm

[G3MM4]

I'm sorry but that makes no difference whatsoever. The guy and I might have damaged the girl's view of men/relationships in general by doing what we did. Hindsight is a funny thing.

[Naiad780]

Don't hate yourself!  The important thing is that you regret your mistake, owned up to it, and are trying to learn from it.  I assume you will not do it again.

We all make mistakes (big ones) and you are not the only one who has done this.  Some people keep doing it, rather than think about why and what harm they might be causing.

[Tayesin]

Hi,
Karma hasn't actually bitten you.  The events set in motion by you and the man you slept with have not come to their own fruition yet.  It may come at some time much later in your life, possibly by having the same type of event occur where you are the perceived victim.

Karma isn't a punishment thing at all, it is only the mechanics that bring the events we set in motion to their own ends.

The worst thing you can do for yourself now is to spiral into Guilt.

It took two people to choose to do what happened.  So don't shoulder all the blame and guilt on yourself.

What you have had is an experience.  That's all it was.  

Whether you learn from that experience is up to you.  

Whether you see it as a thing that happened that should have NO connotations of good or evil about it, or whether you make yourself ill from carrying around unnecessary guilt and self-loathing, is up to you too.

I hope you get to clarity on this soon as the worst you can do is to let the guilt and self hatred fester up inside you and create a lot more problems as the years go by.  Take care of you.

Love Always, []

[G3MM4]

Thanks for the replies. Well, I did hate myself and beat myself up a lot over what happened for a few days, now I've stopped hating myself for what happened. I felt terrible guilt etc as well over these few days, but now, while I still think that I was stupid etc, I'm not feeling these emotions so intensely. that doesn't mean that I don't feel bad about it, I do, but not so that I'm still beating myself up about it. I want to learn from this, and there's no way am I making that mistake again.

quote:Karma hasn't actually bitten you. The events set in motion by you and the man you slept with have not come to their own fruition yet. It may come at some time much later in your life, possibly by having the same type of event occur where you are the perceived victim.

I already have been cheated on in the past, but maybe I'll be cheated on again, I don't know. If I do get cheated on, maybe I deserve it.

quote:Karma isn't a punishment thing at all, it is only the mechanics that bring the events we set in motion to their own ends.

I know Karma isn't a punishment, it's ourselves who deal out the punishment. I punished myself severely for doing what I did for a few days.

quote:It took two people to choose to do what happened. So don't shoulder all the blame and guilt on yourself.

I realise that too. I'm certainly am not shouldering all the blame now, although I was at first. It took some thinking it through for me to come to the conclusion that the guy must take responsibility too.

[G3MM4]

I did something that I shouldn't have done. People who have been cheated on by their partners are going to probably hate me. And I wouldn't blame them.

I feel the need to share what I did and try and learn from it. This isn't a way of making me feel better as I'll never feel good about what I did (rightly so, as I know it was a s*** thing I did, there's no way of justifying what I did). I do feel ashamed, stupid, embarrassed, guilty and angry with myself about it, and worse still I know I brought it on myself. I deserve to feel bad about what happened and about myself as a person.

A few days ago I had "relations" with someone who is engaged to someone else. I don't know why I did it. The guy came clean to his fiancee about it, and I'm glad he did because ever since I did it, it's been in the back of my mind what happened, and I hate myself for it. Anyway, the fiancee has asked me about it (when I least expected it), and I told her the truth about what happened.

The night that it happened, I got disturbed during the night by spirits (I strongly suspect it was my loved ones in spirit). I thought they were just trying to annoy me at the time, but now I realise why they were trying so hard to disturb me, I guess it was their way of saying "OI what the f*$k were you doing/thinking of???". Like they were trying to point out how wrong it was (of course, I knew that but I was in denial about the whole thing).

I'm telling you all this because I want to point out how Karma can turn around and bite you when you least expect it. I've had to face up to what happened, and how it's affected the guy's fiancee, and it's made me take a long and hard look at myself, and how I could learn from this experience. It's made me feel very uncomfortable about myself as a person, which I guess can only be a good thing for me in the long run as I will learn from this, and improve myself.

So... to anyone who even dreams about cheating on their partner/someone else who's attached, be warned, Karma will get you in the end, like it got me.