How Do You Find The Will?

[daem0n]

look at how to shed the junk in spiritual forum, personally i find the strength in my immortal mind, but that was rather long way to go, and sadly (really ??[]) i don't remember how i found the strenght to make it

[Rastus]

As a former Depressive, I can sympathise.  One thing to remember, the 'You' doesn't have those thoughts.  You Mind and your Ego will, but those aren't you.  Some meditation and a little 'soul searching' can usually clear that right up.  Getting in touch with the rest of 'You' can fix about anything.

[Eternal_Soulmate]

[] Yes you have a meaning!

And you know what? The best part of it is that you have CHOICE in everything you do!  Be what u want and if it is DIFFERENT or even better SPECIAL than you are on your way to be YOURSELF!
Chear up and think about how many things you can still do...

Sure that the DO care... you know how "growups" can be [] stubborn and too proud to give in for their feelings... be different

Take care

Jimmy

[FistOfFury]

I honestly think they don't care. Maybe hate would be a better word.

quote:Originally posted by Rastus

 'You' can fix about anything.

I can? Even this pain I have in my chest? I honestly feel like sometimes I will roll over and just die from a heart attack. It's been getting worse.

[Rastus]

Yes you can.  Whether or not you do is up to you and your higher selves.  You've always had the ability, everyone does.  Finding the drive is part of enlightenment...  Or date a nice lightworker???

[daem0n]

even lightworkers have emotional problems, i know couse i am currently trying to help one, the balance must come from yourself, or else it will sooner or later cease ...

for the time being try affirmations, like i love myself / i am good etc. they DO bring relief and then you can try something stable, you must only believe ...

[Jenia_San]

I had the same prolem some years ago...
and I found a temporary solution [^]
why temporary? you will soon understand.
it's to place myself above others.
I simply told myself "Hey...they are not worth my time! they are just a bunch of foolish weak-minded humans! let them rot I don't care! I am better than they are...why should I bother getting down over something as pathetic as a HUMAN!? humpf!"
now,being snobbish won't earn you many friends,but it'll keep your spirits up fr some time []

[Kazbadan]

FistofFury, i have the same problem as you and i know how horrible it can be.

I dont have anyone in wich i can trust, dont have a nice girlfriend, and i have too many problems with my family. It is very hard if someone does not have good friends.

My advice is, be strong in this bad phase, because my experience tells me that i, as a depressive person, have good phases and bad phases (depression). So, you must be strong until you come in a good phase. Sooner or later you will have it.


Now, what the hell can we do when we are in th bad phase (like you are now)? Well, i find that physical exercise it is very very good.
You must ind a good sport that you  like. YOu will se that will help you a lot (besides that fact that it is scientists says the same: exercise helps fighting depression).

Secondly, if possible, take some of your friends with you, because will increase your mood a lot.

DAmn it! i must go now, its more late than i thought.

ok, later i wil give you more advices. Feel free to send me private messages.

see you

[G3MM4]

FistOfFury, I really do understand what you mean. I'm like that now. Also I have a severe lack of energy, and am often too tired and paranoid to go out. I've no idea how to get through it, so I just live from day to day. I know physical exercise is supposed to be good for fighting depression, but how do you do physical exercise when you've got no energy? It's a horrible rut to be stuck in, and quite often it's a vicious circle. But somehow one has to get oneself out of it sooner or later. [xx(]

[Rob]

quote:My advice is, be strong in this bad phase, because my experience tells me that i, as a depressive person, have good phases and bad phases (depression). So, you must be strong until you come in a good phase. Sooner or later you will have it.

Yes yes yes!! Sometimes I feel like really bad, like monging around doing nothing, generally empty and devoid. A few months later this will have swung around and I'll be on top of the world! Its like that. Hang in there my friend! And try to practise honest introspection always, and meditation. If you get far enough with meditation you might find it a wonderful place to go and escape. Although in reality, you could call the depression an espcape and meditation coming home. Meh, semantics.
btw make sure you fully understand the true nature of "positive" and "negative" - each can be worked with, but require different approaches.

Hey l337 Jemma - nice avatar [8D]

Rob

[Kazbadan]

Ok, here how to do it:
When you are in the "bad phase" you must keep going. While in this phase people dont have patient neither energies to do anything, but even so you could try some of this:
- Get out at might with friends (avoid get drunk because in the next day depression will double-  trust me on this one).

- pratice sport or exercises: anything "soft". If you go with friends, dont ask me why and how but you will have more energies, maybe its because of motivation.

- sleep (at night only) very much

- watch nice movies-commedies. Seinfeld, Monthy Python any thing that can make you laugh.

- Again: be with your friends (this is important, but if you dont have friends you could go to a place with many people because will make you feel better- at least with me works).

- Do anything fun that you like.

- Concentrate on your job if you have one or in your studys. Organize your work. Doing this, organizing my work and my ideas in a paper or in abook/agenda, etc, will make me feel better. This point its important too.

- In the same manner, if you clean your house and make everything feel perfect, believe me that you will start feel better too.

-Cry: sometimes crying it is very very good. Do it without fear. You dont need to have people seeing you. DO it aat night when nobody will see you. Cry everything that you have to cry and in the next day stop and "get to work". This tip its for use when you feel really really bad. Dont do it to much or you wil always feel in a bad mood. I only cry rarely when i am in a very bad moment (like you possibly are now).

- If yo have strenght to practice yoga, meditatio, tai-chi, chakras release, etc, do it. This is very very good.

Ok, i know that this sounds basic but such "little" ideas help a lot. But for they get working you must just give a little jump. You must stop feeling compassion for yourself (as many times happens with depressive people, i have the same problem many times too). You must get up, breath for some while and say: "Ok, i am very tired and depressive but i want to do something to stop it. Because of that in this exact moment i will do this [and you say what you wanna do] even if at beggining its boring/dificult/etc."

This little "jump" its essential for you to begin doing the small ideas above.

If you continue to do that, being strong, eventually you will get earlier in the "good phase". If you dont, if you are really very very weak, dont desesperate. At some moment (it can take 1 day or 2) you will continue on the bad phase but you will feel a little better. In that moment you must grab that oportunity and start doing the small good things that will make you feel better.

Sooner or later, with help (yourself or/and other people) or without it, believe me or not you will get a "good phase". This is very important: when you get there you really must take that opportunity to build a strong spirit that will avoid "coming back" to the bad phase. Its like a castle. When you build it you will have a good strenght to protect you and make you free. Even if you get in the bad phase again, such spiritual protection will give you a good way to get out of there quickly.

How can you build that inner strenght? I have some tips to help you:

- First tip: use all the ideas above, except the "crying" one. If you are in a good mood the only tears that you can have its "laughing tears". Being with friends its very important. Organizing a little your life (mentaly and physically)and pratice exercise its very important too.

- Do constructive things. When i am in a good phase i always have great ideas, for my personal life, for work, etc. I will get completly different in the good phase because my brain gets working again and thats good. YOu should let your brain work, because thats like food and exercise for it. If you ussualy don tdo that, you should learn play some chess, puzzles games,etc. This kind of things help a lot too avoiding depressions.

- Keep doing yoga, tai-chi, etc. This is the begging of the foundation of a strong spirit.

- Now, this type its important too (its similar to the last one): you must follow the spiritual path that you like more. Personally, i like Budhism. Its a very solid philosophy of life. Its not a religion in my point of view, but instead its a way of life. With Budhism i learn to purify my hearth and my mind, to clean it from "mental garbage". This tip includes all the lessons that you can learn from Budhism and thats a lot!

I found a very interesting site with lots of free ebooks, very very good books, about Budhism and how to "clean" your self. GIve a look at:
http://www.buddhanet.net/ebooks_m.htm

for free ebooks and the original page its:
http://www.buddhanet.net/

Honestly i dont know more what to say. If i get inspired and have more ideas i will tell you.

Be strong!

-Kaz-

[Jenia_San]

also,ESCAPE []
get a few decent RPG games and play em' all day if you have no friends...
anytime you feel sad imagine you are back in that "other world"!
this works wonderfull!

also,I just gained a life story of a certain person who was like that... from his birth till now [V]
I'd post it,mybe you could learn from his mistakes, but first:
1.gotta censor it first[V]take out names/cursewords,etc...
2.err,it might make you think you have no chance instead [B)]
3.Kaz could start discussing it and go off topic [}:)]

so,not sure if I should post it or not.

[Kazbadan]

quote:Originally posted by Jenia_San

3.Kaz could start discussing it and go off topic [}:)]

Are making fun of me?![]

[Nay]

quote:also,ESCAPE
get a few decent RPG games and play em' all day if you have no friends...
anytime you feel sad imagine you are back in that "other world"!
this works wonderfull!

In my opinion, this is a big problem today with younger people, they do not want to live in the real world and deal with real problems.  Next thing you know, they are living in a fantasy world non stop, failing to see the fine line that they are walking and loose touch with reality.

FistofFury:  You will go through many days in your life feeling not so right with things, and I know it can be hard pullling yourself out of that hole... but trust me, it will get easier.  You really have to stop thinking about the negatives (I don't mean that in evil terms..[]) and embrace the positive!  You will be amazed to see your perception change.[]

Nay

[Rastus]

No video games!  Ugh, don't get me started on that topic and depression.  'Losing yourself' is exactly the wrong thing to do when you depressed, your dodging yourself by not acting.  RPG's are the worst, you become too immersed in an alternate reality, often to the detriment of yourself, your life, you helath, your friends, not to mention you perosnal hygine []

[daem0n]

running is fruitless
i know becouse i was running all highschool into rpg, mtg, and such
this is bullsh**

it just easens the symptoms, but does not cure the illness, you just want to do it more, get addicted

what i observe in these forums is that people want to ap just to escape, it's not different from computer games (well, slightly better [])

comedies are good, as rpg, but you have to be careful with them, and deal with your problems on a daily basis, if you keep pushing them under your bed one day they'll get up and ... [xx(]

the only way i see is to get rid of ego
no ego, no problems (now, the life can be harsh, but at that point you're not dealing with problems but situations)

treat all this sh** as a way to make you stronger, as Niezche said

the solution is in you, and it was always there

there are books on self improvement, there are good post on these forums, use them to your advantage

search for kenneth posts, he explains it better than i do ...

[G3MM4]

As far as I'm aware, the only way you can completely shed your ego is by dying...

[Kazbadan]

I lile playing computer games and for some reason i didnt mention it....i know that it is bad for depression.

[G3MM4]

Well said. LOL.

[daem0n]

yes, and no - buddha []

at least you can exert control over it, and show it the proper way - stop craving, demanding, fearing etc.
i managed that and IT IS BETTER than final fantasy, neverwinter nights or any illusion you wish to dive in

[G3MM4]

Hmmmm I don't know about that, NwN took my mind of the crap I was going through last year for a while...

[daem0n]

but the crap is still there, undisturbed ...
i don't say - stop playing (well, it's ultimately the best solution, but hey, i've been there), i say - solve your problems when you build up your confidence

[G3MM4]

How the hell would you know if the crap is still there undisturbed? It was a different crap I was going through last year. [xx(]

It DOES work for a while, as long as you take your meds and get it all out through counselling. [^] Of course, I'll be getting my meds on Thursday when I see the doctor and I'll ask for counselling. I mean, fair do, anyone would be screwed up if they found their Mum dead in their bed one morning... [xx(]

[Kazbadan]

I sayd that pc games are bad for depression for some reason: it is because its really bad for depressions. I know this from my own experience.

So, when you are depressive, making certain things that will not free your mind or really turn it happy will increase your bad mood.

Whenn you play pc you are just concentrate in a monitor, you are sit in chair and hiting the keyboard. sooner or later your body will not like that, and your mind neither.

When you are with a depression, things like riding in a bike, being with friends or gardening, are much better because you are physically and mentaly active.

[Jenia_San]

quote:Originally posted by Kazbadan

I sayd that pc games are bad for depression for some reason: it is because its really bad for depressions. I know this from my own experience.

So, when you are depressive, making certain things that will not free your mind or really turn it happy will increase your bad mood.

Whenn you play pc you are just concentrate in a monitor, you are sit in chair and hiting the keyboard. sooner or later your body will not like that, and your mind neither.

When you are with a depression, things like riding in a bike, being with friends or gardening, are much better because you are physically and mentaly active.

well,it seems you do not veiw the games the way I do.
I admit certain games do,most games do...
The games I play are like a good book [] I don't know about my body,but my mind sure likes that!
also,what will one do if he/she has no friends,a bike,or a garden,and can think of nothing to do...?
I'm not being depressive am I?