24 years of "voices"

[Bri]

Hi Paukki.

From what you describe, it sounds like this may have originated from your smoking pot days.....Marajuana and drugs can leave you vulnerable to obsession and other nasties.  Mediumship can also be very dangerous in regard to these issues....but you said you did not participate in that.
The only thing i can recommend at this point, other than a *true* prayer warrior (very rare these days), is the invisible helpers.
If anyone can help you, i believe they can.
Check it out:
http://www.rosicrucian.com/healing.htm

[Nita]

Hello Paukki
  I think that you should try the methods in Roberts books. He also has a lot  of info on the website. It makes it where you can depend upon yourself and not anyone else. They are also methods that anyone can use.
  This website has a huge amount of information that can be helpful for you.
  Nita

[PeacefulWarrior]

Can you give us an example of something one of these voices says?  
-Dan

fides quaerens intellectum

[Paukki]

As to what the voices say, like I said, generally pretty banal, but benign.  One might imagine this reflects one's self, in that much of every day life is that way.  I used to get a lot of "Slow down!" during a time in my life when I was without a car and drove a bicycle back and forth to work.  I hated that.  Ignored it.  Bicycled faster.  It was like having an unwanted "mothering" influence.  Or I'd get "It's about time!" when I finally wrote someone a letter.  (Who wants this kind of thing riding on his/her shoulder all the time?)  If I feel squeamish about mentioning Hollywood actors in this forum, I get a voice saying "[blank] is laughing his butt off!", (which seem to imply my thought of being affected with Negs by associations in the past, is laughable.)  That's a template.  I've had it often.  Other templates include such things as "[blank] is getting the connection," and "[blank] is feeling confused", and "[blank's] situation is critical."  In the early days I used to get a lot of "He's the moron!" which I wasn't sure was directed at me, but at one of the Hollywood guys.  At other times it seemed a derisive reference to myself and the body of Christ.  I think it safe to say that would be overkill, as I'm sure many people would tell you I am not deserving of such self-abuse, but I was for many years a loner, depressed, and with not a little self-hatred.  Only on rare occasions does something break out of the norm--such as when I heard a female friend described as a "coquette" by a voice, and I had to look that up in the dictionary.  Turned out her mother or someone in the family called her that.  But that's unusual.  Generally the voices seem, to me, like a reflective bell has been put around my head, and a medical intuitive said my Higher Self said I used them to punish myself (I think for my days in the Army when I started to get naturally "high" on Jesus and then smoked pot during an angry period and crashed and burned miserably).  A reflective head bell simply reflects, in some way, everything you do, say, think, fart, whatever.  I can largely ignore it.  If my nerves get bad from lack of sleep and too much work, loud machinery will seem to carry hysterical voices, perhaps imitating my sister, (who is a very emotional type of person).  Making sense?  These aren't like 100 decibel voices, not like something that should really give you an earache.  They are carried in the wind and you just pick them up.  They are in the patter of rain, and in a split second you just hear something.  Tires on the highway bemoan something.  Birds squeakily respond to your sudden moment of small realizations by saying, "You see, you see!"  They are in everything.  They are all my projection, in a way.  Perhaps I asked for it, because I wanted to be a Christian mystic and hear the small, still voice of God, and then fell away.  And punished myself.  With endless plural voices.    And then I guess I'd be dealing with some core images to remove, say what?

[PeacefulWarrior]

Thanks for sharing.

First of all, I am sorry that you have to suffer this.  Secondly, you can and do, whether you know it or not, hear the still small voice of God...and it's nothing like the voices you have described.  It's the voice that usually isn't heard, but felt, when you choose the right.

Well, if I were you I would #1)pray and meditate daily and #2) get professional help, although I am not sure if you need to.  I think you are probably being affected negatively by some spiritual/astral influence, but perhaps there is something a professional could do to help.  

Best wishes and keep us informed!
-Dan

fides quaerens intellectum

[Kristen]

Hi Paukki -


You said - "They are carried in the wind and you just pick them up. They are in the patter of rain, and in a split second you just hear something. Tires on the highway bemoan something. Birds squeakily respond to your sudden moment of small realizations by saying, "You see, you see!" They are in everything. They are all my projection, in a way. "

Same thing happens to me sort of... I call it the buffer zone, and it seems to be tied into what I have a tendancy to be most cued into as far as what sort of input I naturally am interested in and pay attention to... and has to do with what I invest a significant amount of emotional and mental energy in. I'm intellectual and an introvert in a psychological sense (an egghead - inwardly focused - and  so what I get often reflects the topography of my own inner landscape... but often not, sometimes in surprising ways.   So - I wonder, if what you are hearing contains information in it that is not necessarily about you - varifiably, like the name of the woman you mentioned - coquette... then maybe there's more in it then self-defeating nagging voices.  Are you familiar with Jung?  His theory of synchronicity might "speak" to you .... there's a story he relates about a scarab beatle that reminds me of your description above.  My personal belief is that the world can and will talk to you if you're open to hearing it, and it does it for a reason that is designed to get your attention and so can be very personal and specific.  What if a person could shift their focus - their interest - at a particular question of some import, something that doesn't have its emotional impetus derived in negative feeling questions and concerns about one'self, and then hear the world talking to you about that?  What if what you hear doesn't have to be about you in a painful way?


Take care,

Kristen

[Paukki]

Hey Kristen, you have come the closest, by far, of anyone with whom I have discussed this subject, to eliciting the inward response of, "She understands!"  Not that I understand what's REALLY going on, but there is a "feel" to your dialogue that feels right.  What I've been going through with this stuff, by far and away, is nothing in the way of classic evil cacklings, not even classic derogatory self-condemnations.  If there is a lesson to be learned from it--and if there is not, then that's an awful thing, that the mind can be caught in a mere machinery of endless tape-loops that mean nothing--perhaps it has to do with, "as within, so without."  I can remember all the way back to when it started, 24 years ago, thinking something like, "My God, am I really that small?"  And hindsight confirms the narrowness of fixations; the heavy chains of needing approval; the lack of quick response to get out of a small world and into a bigger one.  Even so, no one should allow hindsight like that to sit in judgment on his/her self.  To tell the truth, the "voices" hardly bother me anymore.  When they started, sure--I was like a deer caught in traffic, (wide-eyed and full of fear and impulsive movement).  But now.....?   I find myself simply wondering why they are still there, saying largely the same old things.  Is it because, like so many people, I just don't change?  You wrote about--what was it--getting the world to talk back to one along positive lines, along the line of a question of some import.  Perhaps we have begun to do that, right here.  Maybe it's a matter of creation--imagination, emotion, manifestation.  All that fine recipe.  Hearts and minds need to bust out of old shells, but they can't do that unless they get bigger and stronger than the shells themselves.  If that makes any sense.
--Paukki

[Kristen]

Hey fellow traveler -

Yes - exactly!  Now I'm doing the he understands thing about everything you just said.

About that not changing thing - I wonder if it is ever possible to completely exorcise residual "shells..."  

I love this site!

By the way - your response is an extremely timely and personally specific meaningful event for me.  *huge grin* THANKYOU for posting.

Kristen

[Q2u]

Hi Paukki

I think what you describe is clairaudio. Many have this...I have this...and yes it is something not to freak out about but learn to live with. It can be helpful as well as annoying.

When we deal with this gift we have to muddle through voices of our sub-mind as well as the voice of God (which I hear not just in feelings but actual voice at times) The voice of spirits/ghosts, of angels and ministering spirits as well as neg life forms.

I am I guess what could be called a mystic Christian even though I do not like titles of any kind for stereo typical reasons. I will not give up my relationship with Jesus just because some religion organization says if I fall out of THEIR good graces I am no longer a 'Christian'

That is not the case since the Lord has stated nothing will come between His love for us and that He would never leave or forsake us.

So in this life's journey I drag the Holy Spirit every where. I refuse fear of being swept away by doctrines of demons when my Lord has said the Holy Spirit will lead me into all truth. And who can I really trust if I cannot put FULL trust into God who states I will be delivered from evil not lead into it?

So I guess I am just saying it wouldn't hurt you to reestablish your relationship with Jesus....NOT religion....and learn of this gift the Spirit has given you.

It might have been activated noticeable in your past but I doubt once you finish with the core image work that the voices will be entirely gone. You may have the absence of some of the neg voices but the others will no doubt be there. This is YOUR gift and YOUR power. It is not the neg's.

Love and Bright Smiles -Q

[kakkarot]

is it kind of like the voices are speaking the "truth" about what you think of things? and sometimes, you hear voices that "couldn't possibly be your own" because they speak in ways you don't and with knowledge you don't possess?

like when someone you don't like walks into the room, a voice mutters disgustedly "That guy is a(n) [explitive]. I hate him", or when you start thinking of doing something that you believe is "wrong" and a voice says something like "You shouldn't do that. It'll come back to bite you later"? or if you just aren't really thinking of anything (or it might be that you are focusing completely on one thing) and you hear a voice just up and say "So and so isn't feeling well" and they name a person you hadn't even thought about for days, or

if this is what you are experiencing, then i think it might be a combination of an undisciplined mind combined with untrained (and unknown) telepathic reception. this reception might be from other people, or might be from spirits, but it is often difficult, or completely impossible, to distinguish from your own mental voices, until you learn "know yourself" and know what your own mental, or "inner", voice(s) sounds like.

what i described about happened to me for a while. until i started attacking the voices and started trying to feel other "presences" around me. when i started attacking vile (has anybody noticed that vile and evil are the same except the "e" is moved from the back to the front of the word?) beings and started sorting through the voices that remained to find out why they were talking to me, i figured out that most of it was just my mind telling me what i wanted to think unconsciously but that i consciously didn't want to think. if you understand that. like not wanting to hate people, but still hating them, and instead of allowing myself to hate them the voices told me what i didn't want to think.

is that right, or am i waaaaaaay off?  

happy gopher hunting season everyone!    j/k
~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

[Paukki]

"is it kind of like the voices are speaking the "truth" about what you think of things?"

More like they are myself in a variety of guises, for the most part.  So very much of it seems like a kind of background radiation that reflects my emotional state within any given situation or action, and I can decide for myself if there is anything to learn from what is reflected.

" and sometimes, you hear voices that 'couldn't possibly be your own' because they speak in ways you don't and with knowledge you don't possess?"

Extremely rare.  That's the exciting stuff of prophets, intuitives, etc., not me
.
" like when someone you don't like walks into the room, a voice mutters disgustedly 'That guy is a(n) [explitive]. I hate him',"

Nope.  There was a period, at the start, 24 years ago, when there seemed to be a generic bunch of voices, seemingly female in tone, that would, (as I wrote here or somewhere else, can't remember), talk about somebody being "the moron".  With hindsight I would simply call that a guilt made audibly manifest because of the conflict caused, within, between a religious mindset of the near past, and the actions of the then present.  While I was a security guard at Stanford U. Med. Center in 1981/82,  I had access to a lot of places.  So I looked up "auditory hallucinations" in a doctor's textbook and found that much of what I had "heard" was quite possibly just a reflection of my own lonliness, intensive introspection, and tendency to be entirely too self-judgmental.  A "precipitating stress" can knock a person into hearing "voices", but I think it doesn't have to be something sudden, (like a death in the family, loss of a job, etc.), but can be something built up over time, and then a mere straw can break the back of the camel bearing the burden of an ill-at-ease mind.  (This is a psychological view.  It doesn't bring into play "Negs" and such things.)    

"or when you start thinking of doing something that you believe is 'wrong' and a voice says something like 'You shouldn't do that. It'll come back to bite you later'?"

Nope.  They don't really work like that, (with me).  Maybe there are times I've forgotten about.

" or if you just aren't really thinking of anything (or it might be that you are  focusing completely on one thing) and you hear a voice just up and say 'So and so isn't feeling well' and they name a  person you hadn't even thought about for days,"

Nope.  

" or if this is what you are experiencing, then i think it might be a combination of an undisciplined mind combined with
untrained (and unknown) telepathic reception. this reception might be from other people, or might be from spirits, but it is
often difficult, or completely impossible, to distinguish from your own mental voices, until you learn "know yourself" and
 know what your own mental, or "inner", voice(s) sounds like.   what i described about happened to me for a while. until i started attacking the voices and started trying to feel other   "presences" around me. when i started attacking vile (has anybody noticed that vile and evil are the same except the "e"  is moved from the back to the front of the word?) beings and started sorting through the voices that remained to find out  why they were talking to me, i figured out that most of it was just my mind telling me what i wanted to think unconsciously  but that i consciously didn't want to think. if you understand that. like not wanting to hate people, but still hating them and instead of allowing myself to hate them the voices told me what i didn't want to think."

Maybe a lot of it has just been repititious banalities because some of us need repetition.  A coach might be asked about one of his players and the coach replies, "He has potential, but he needs lots of repetitions."  The latter applies to physical effort combined with mental disciplines.  In the world of everyday life, the repetitions first started getting the point across that I was a very fearful person who could try doing some very simple things to make life easier, if I would just face the fears and take a step in the direction desired.  However, I began to notice as time went along that the repititions led to my wondering if my focus in life was really what I wanted in the first place, or if I had been programmed to think that way by some process of acculturation or the pressure to conform within any given collective.  If you go back a few posts to Kristen's post, what she wrote about that I really liked, among several things, was is idea of getting one's focus turned outward onto something bigger, greater, whatever you want to call it, and then watch what might happen.  Later she wondered about the possible difficulty of removing core images, or of completing exorcising one's self of an "astral shell", which speaks to me of the power of trauma.  The more severe the trauma, isn't it likely the bigger the imprint it leaves?  Well, I'm trying to get at >something<, here, but I'm not sure what it is, so maybe I should just go dig up a snack or something and leave at that.    

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile.gif" border=0>

--Paukki

[Paukki]

Hi there.  This is my very first post in this forum and I hardly know where to start.  So I'll not beat around the bush and I'll get right to it and  say that I have been hearing "voices" for almost 24 years and have not found out what they are with any certainty, much less rid myself of them.  They are generally benign.  I have pretty much learned to ignore them.  I suppose I could go the rest of my life ignoring them.  They are generally banal.  Only on very rare occasions do they actually grab my attention.  When I was a practicing evangelical (independent/non-denominational) type Christian a couple of decades ago,  (not any more...now I like the idea of pan-holistic spirituality, which is much broader in scope),  I brought up the matter and got nowhere.  A number of close relatives know about it.  I've had several sessions with a local theta-healer, but she is uncertain about it.  I >>haven't<< been to shrinks about it, (although ironically enough, Army shrinks thought I was hearing them a year before they actually kicked in!)  Tend not to trust shrinks.  Plus if my company found out about it, would I be out of a job?  See, I can operate quite normally in this condition.  But I often wonder if it is powerfully integrated with a "stabalized" sort of paranoia/self-centered dynamic that I often get in situations when I am around numbers of people.  I've read PPSD, the stuff about core images and that, but I've only been back at meditation and higher consciousness work for a little over a year, and I'm still looking for feedback before I buckle down and possibly get very serious about dealing with "voices".  PPSD had a list of things to watch out for when avoiding Negs, and at the top of the list was "Associations".  My "voices" began suddenly and unexpectedly about Dec. 1, 1978, during a time when I was associating with some people in my tiny hometown who were members of the Hollywood Actors' Union.  One of them got me involved in the local Community Theatre.  They toyed around with seances, (I didn't), and I don't know what else.  I smoked pot with them, (but been off it for over 20 years).  One of them loaned me the book "Seth Speaks", a well-known bit of channeling many of you've probably heard of.  Getting my drift?  There's more I could give in terms of background material, but this is lengthy enough for the time being.  Maybe I'm a bit scared of really confronting this, but I have this idea it is blocking my upward progress generally.  Thanks in advance for any feedback you can give.
--Paukki