Social Anxiety

[TheDarkApprentice]

(Don't know the right topic for this)

I suffer from quite a bit Social anxiety.

i am not comfortable around people I don't know. Infact, I am a totally different person. Around people I know, I'm loud and obnoxious and always want to have a good time. But around people i don't know so well or don't talk to often, i am totally quiet and suffer from making small talk. This is a big problem for me.

Like right now, I haven't gone to school for the last 3 weeks. The last have of last year I had to get a tutor because I didn't want to go to school. Right now i'm looking for some type of homeschooling or tutoring, but it cost a lot of money and what not.

I don't know what to do. It's not that I want to fit in with society and others. but I just want someone to talk too. I mean it sucks sitting in a class at school and doodling on my notebook the whole day. I really like being alone and individual a lot of the time, belive me I do. Sometimes I just like to stay ghome, away from my friends, and just chill out and watch TV.

But the school part is really dificult for me. I'm taking ADs and meds to help with my sleep, but i don't really know if this help. I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and I havent even had a real job except for a paper route which I sadly still have. Don't have a car. I'm pretty pathetic.

I just wanted to know if you guys had suggestions on anything. Or if theres is a specific type of energy work or even healing tht could help with some of these issuses. Specificly Social anxiety, sleep problems, and memory problems.

Thanks

[Wells]

I'm quite the same.  It's called being an introvert, in the Carl Jung sense.  Our thoughts and feelings are turned much more inwards than most people, so we will appear quiet.  Small talk we find hard to engage in - we see it as meaningless babble most times.

Now of course you sound like there's more to it, but you just have to be content with who you are.  Forget all the "Are you OK?"s and "Why are you so quiet?"s and as long as you have some friends that you can feel comfortable around, you'll be OK!!

Wells

[alexd]

It's true.
You just have to be yourself. Everyone is different.
I'm not sure about energy work techniques that can help with social anxiety, I'm sure someone else on the forums does though; I would be interested too because I have similar problems.

Usually the easiest way if you are an introvert is to make close friends instead of trying to fit in with an entire group straight away. If you just start by making one close friend it makes it a lot easier, plus you will have someone to talk to. Usually the best way with these things is to look for the root of the problem. I seem to find that with some people and at some times I get social anxiety and at other times and with other people I don't. So I guess it helps to look at what's causing it. This is how I got over not being able to do public speaking. Perhaps you should also look into self-esteem.
I hope this is some use. I don't know much about energy work, but I can relate to what you are saying. Also, if you are having trouble sleeping you should try meditation, it helped me a lot, and it's really relaxing even if it's very basic, or you could get a girlfriend which also works well .


alex

[yothu]

Have you tried EFT? Give it a chance

[TheDarkApprentice]

Have you tried EFT? Give it a chance

Link didn't work.

Yeah i'm not a big fan of emo but have some of it I guess. As for emo music, that stuff just makes you more depressed

[Chimerae]

(Don't know the right topic for this)

I suffer from quite a bit Social anxiety.

i am not comfortable around people I don't know. Infact, I am a totally different person. Around people I know, I'm loud and obnoxious and always want to have a good time. But around people i don't know so well or don't talk to often, i am totally quiet and suffer from making small talk. This is a big problem for me.

Like right now, I haven't gone to school for the last 3 weeks. The last have of last year I had to get a tutor because I didn't want to go to school. Right now i'm looking for some type of homeschooling or tutoring, but it cost a lot of money and what not.

I don't know what to do. It's not that I want to fit in with society and others. but I just want someone to talk too. I mean it sucks sitting in a class at school and doodling on my notebook the whole day. I really like being alone and individual a lot of the time, belive me I do. Sometimes I just like to stay ghome, away from my friends, and just chill out and watch TV.

But the school part is really dificult for me. I'm taking ADs and meds to help with my sleep, but i don't really know if this help. I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and I havent even had a real job except for a paper route which I sadly still have. Don't have a car. I'm pretty pathetic.

I just wanted to know if you guys had suggestions on anything. Or if theres is a specific type of energy work or even healing tht could help with some of these issuses. Specificly Social anxiety, sleep problems, and memory problems.

Thanks

If you are taking antidepressants, is there some reason you're not prescribed anti-anxiety meds as well?  Or maybe instead?  If you have already been out for 3 weeks, as you know it gets harder and the meds may help with the transition back.

Brain chemistry is an interesting thing and once anxiety (or a handful of other things) reaches a particular chemical cocktail mix, it's hard to just get things sorted out with attitude and energy  work.  

Karla MacLaren (my hero) has good stuff in both Energetic Boundaries and Emotional Genius  including exercises to build shields and guides for sorting out how to balance what's unbalanced in your life and identify why you might have certain challenges.

I found a handful of things that helped when I was in high school.  Even though it was a long time ago for me, here they are in case anything can help:

Notice that you're not alone in your isolation.  Lots of people are in social anxiety hell in high school.  Some of the most amazing people are also feeling what you're feeling.  Somehow noticing those people made it easier for me.  

Reframe the school experience as a role playing game.  It's helps you to take it less seriously.  Spot individuals that are not among the "in group" but who you think you might like to emulate and simply "role play" being THEM.  It's amazing how much we can learn that way.  

Sort out what's YOURS and what's NOT YOURS.  Even if you can't figure it out, realizing that a lot of what you are going through might not even be your "stuff"  Out here on AP are a lot of talented, gifted people.  It could be you ground the floating anxiety of a whole school full of people.  When anxiety comes up and around -- as yourself "is this mine?"  For many people, just realizing that a lot of the negative feelings they experience are really somebody else's frees them entirely.  

If you are comfortable around people you DO know, can they help you over the rough spots in school?

Hard to believe, but talking to individual teachers about the problem helped me more than anything else.  The hardest was actually managing to talk to the FIRST teacher -- and picking who.  Some of them can make it easier for you if they choose, and more of them are willing to give it a shot at helping.  Help from teachers helped me to unobtrusively locate myself as close to the door as possible and as far away from other people as possible -- without being obvious about it.  Also, teachers can inadvertently make this sorts of anxiety problems worse if they think you just don't care instead of getting a "head's up" about what's going on.  It's always risky elisting help, but actually deciding to roll the dice and then dealing with the outcome of the toss -- good or bad -- is one of the ways you get unstuck from anxiety.  That's the irony -- it's not really fear, it's stuckness awash in fear.  

I never found school guidance counselors to be much help, but that doesn't mean your school might not have someone helpful.

A problem with school you might consider . . . some people are kinesthetics and need more "movement" than the school structure allows.  Energy gets built up too high sitting in class, and then when you move between classes, there's this disruptive painful release -- but not enough for you to get "set"  and ready for the next class.  If you think that might be part of it, some sort of active energy grounding and release practice could make a big difference.    

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this.  It's a tough thing.  Don't give up and don't give in.  Keep at it.  Just getting out of high school can make things totally different.  

Reframe "pathetic."  Most people with the level of social anxiety you have described wouldn't have the courage and strength and follow through to do that paper route.  Count your successes with some accuracy!

[KEN LONG]

I can really relate with you. I try to think about it like this, Its like riding a coaster in a theme park. You look at how big it is and how fast it gos. And when you get on it you almost wet your pants,but you injoy the thrill.

be a thrill seeker

[TheDarkApprentice]

(Don't know the right topic for this)

I suffer from quite a bit Social anxiety.

i am not comfortable around people I don't know. Infact, I am a totally different person. Around people I know, I'm loud and obnoxious and always want to have a good time. But around people i don't know so well or don't talk to often, i am totally quiet and suffer from making small talk. This is a big problem for me.

Like right now, I haven't gone to school for the last 3 weeks. The last have of last year I had to get a tutor because I didn't want to go to school. Right now i'm looking for some type of homeschooling or tutoring, but it cost a lot of money and what not.

I don't know what to do. It's not that I want to fit in with society and others. but I just want someone to talk too. I mean it sucks sitting in a class at school and doodling on my notebook the whole day. I really like being alone and individual a lot of the time, belive me I do. Sometimes I just like to stay ghome, away from my friends, and just chill out and watch TV.

But the school part is really dificult for me. I'm taking ADs and meds to help with my sleep, but i don't really know if this help. I'm turning 17 in a few weeks and I havent even had a real job except for a paper route which I sadly still have. Don't have a car. I'm pretty pathetic.

I just wanted to know if you guys had suggestions on anything. Or if theres is a specific type of energy work or even healing tht could help with some of these issuses. Specificly Social anxiety, sleep problems, and memory problems.

Thanks

If you are taking antidepressants, is there some reason you're not prescribed anti-anxiety meds as well?  Or maybe instead?  If you have already been out for 3 weeks, as you know it gets harder and the meds may help with the transition back.

Brain chemistry is an interesting thing and once anxiety (or a handful of other things) reaches a particular chemical cocktail mix, it's hard to just get things sorted out with attitude and energy  work.  

Karla MacLaren (my hero) has good stuff in both Energetic Boundaries and Emotional Genius  including exercises to build shields and guides for sorting out how to balance what's unbalanced in your life and identify why you might have certain challenges.

I found a handful of things that helped when I was in high school.  Even though it was a long time ago for me, here they are in case anything can help:

Notice that you're not alone in your isolation.  Lots of people are in social anxiety hell in high school.  Some of the most amazing people are also feeling what you're feeling.  Somehow noticing those people made it easier for me.  

Reframe the school experience as a role playing game.  It's helps you to take it less seriously.  Spot individuals that are not among the "in group" but who you think you might like to emulate and simply "role play" being THEM.  It's amazing how much we can learn that way.  

Sort out what's YOURS and what's NOT YOURS.  Even if you can't figure it out, realizing that a lot of what you are going through might not even be your "stuff"  Out here on AP are a lot of talented, gifted people.  It could be you ground the floating anxiety of a whole school full of people.  When anxiety comes up and around -- as yourself "is this mine?"  For many people, just realizing that a lot of the negative feelings they experience are really somebody else's frees them entirely.  

If you are comfortable around people you DO know, can they help you over the rough spots in school?

Hard to believe, but talking to individual teachers about the problem helped me more than anything else.  The hardest was actually managing to talk to the FIRST teacher -- and picking who.  Some of them can make it easier for you if they choose, and more of them are willing to give it a shot at helping.  Help from teachers helped me to unobtrusively locate myself as close to the door as possible and as far away from other people as possible -- without being obvious about it.  Also, teachers can inadvertently make this sorts of anxiety problems worse if they think you just don't care instead of getting a "head's up" about what's going on.  It's always risky elisting help, but actually deciding to roll the dice and then dealing with the outcome of the toss -- good or bad -- is one of the ways you get unstuck from anxiety.  That's the irony -- it's not really fear, it's stuckness awash in fear.  

I never found school guidance counselors to be much help, but that doesn't mean your school might not have someone helpful.

A problem with school you might consider . . . some people are kinesthetics and need more "movement" than the school structure allows.  Energy gets built up too high sitting in class, and then when you move between classes, there's this disruptive painful release -- but not enough for you to get "set"  and ready for the next class.  If you think that might be part of it, some sort of active energy grounding and release practice could make a big difference.    

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this.  It's a tough thing.  Don't give up and don't give in.  Keep at it.  Just getting out of high school can make things totally different.  

Reframe "pathetic."  Most people with the level of social anxiety you have described wouldn't have the courage and strength and follow through to do that paper route.  Count your successes with some accuracy!

Thanks for your advice and insights Chimerae..

I know I'm not the only person with these problems, but not a lot of the people around me are. I have this one friend whos a few years older than me and used to cut himself for reasons simiar to my own. It's just that some of the people I know, may be some what quiet around people they don't know, but can deal with the social stuff. it's the other pressures that effect them. So it's hard to find someone to relate to and I have only recently open up to some of my friends.

Part of that reason is because I am not a emotional person. If my mom or dad or my sibilings died tommorow, I would say, "that's sad" and would just move on with tommorow. I have never loved anyone or deeply cared for someone. Will I ever get married then? Probaly not, but you never know. I am that much of an individual person and it's another problem for me.

The RP idea is interesting and would be fun to try out.

I do have some sympathy for people who get teases a lot for dumb reasons. I mean, the last 4 years I had horrible acne and I had to take this really risky medicine called accutane for it to go away. It's mostly gone except for all the scars which will take a while to fade away.

But I can see how some people have killed their self for an issue like mine. But you have to overcome it. Sucide is giving up on yourself. Your life could suck royally such as mine, but will never get better if you let control your life.

One thing I would suggest to people is to find an escape. Wether it's talking to people online, playing videogames, playing a sport, or doing whatever, it will definitly help you.

My escape is playing poker and magic the gathering. I hang out with the guys at the shop and we have a great time. You don't even think about what's going on in your life. I've even become good at the games. Being one of the top rated MTG players in my state and winning some money at poker home games. Winning and having fun is great for me. The winning is a huge plus, but I just like goofing off sometimes. If I could incorprate that philosophy in my own daily life, then I'd sure it would be alot better.

[CaCoDeMoN]

Sometimes the social anxiety is caused by energy blockage on the heart chakra. I've had this problem, but after using New Energy Ways for one year the blockage disappeared, and so did emotional problems, social anxiety, and asthma. I've never used anti-depressants, but I've heard that some of them can cause many problems. Maybe you should try changing meds?

[TheDarkApprentice]

Sometimes the social anxiety is caused by energy blockage on the heart chakra. I've had this problem, but after using New Energy Ways for one year the blockage disappeared, and so did emotional problems, social anxiety, and asthma. I've never used anti-depressants, but I've heard that some of them can cause many problems. Maybe you should try changing meds?

Yeah I have been doing NEW for 3 months now and it odes help. Although I have been slacking a bit the last month.

Yeah I just changed meds. I was on Remeron but that stuff made me crazy. And Zoloft did nothing for me

[WalkerInTheWoods]

Might I suggest reading and practicing the book The Power of Now. After practicing the Power of Now I have found my social anxieties are much more manageable, or nonexistent depending on how Now I am. If I do stay in the Now and am aware I have no problems at all. It has been VERY liberating.

[Kenneth]

Hello TheDarkApprentice,

Social Anxiety - more commen than you think, I am afraid   .... Unfortunately, it has as a natural consequence, that you normally stay away from other people, so you and others that suffer from it, don't often get to meet. It is also something, that often you are not "proud of", so it actually takes a great deal for you to begin talking about it.

But you can here on this forum, and other forums as well, you can meet others that suffer from the same thing - or has been there as well!

I am one of those people, who slowly are returning to "life" again. Your description of not feeling your feelings very well (Like there is a layer of rubber between you and your feelings), the lonelyness, the longing....

For me it shows very clearly when suddenly at a party or gathering with friends, I HAVE to be by my self. It's like a physical Illness, that only can be helped, by me being for my self for a while. Actually LEARNING about this in me, that is my problem, has helped me very much! ... Learn your feelings, train your feelings. (If your feelings were your body, in what shape would it then be in? ... Would you be able to run a marathon   ? ....)

I find, that Chimerae's advice is quiet accurate, and I would like to add a perspective seen from the Feelings perspective, that has/is helping me    (Then try and see, if any of this fits your situation   )

First some facts on feelings, as I see them:

- Feelings can get stuck in the body over time, if they are not "felt" at the time of their occurance. (I see this as a "cup" inside, that is slowly filling with that particular feeling).

- Feelings gets Layered on top of one another inside, but it is only the top most layer that you actually feel consciously. There can be many of these "treads" of feelings stored inside. One feeling leading to the next, that leads to the next, that leads to the Top feeling that YOU feel.

- Feelings are contagious, they can spread like wildfire. It is the same, if you put a guitar on top of a piano, and then strike an A on the piano, the guitar will then begin to resonate in an A as well. This is known as Resonanse, and it is as close as I can get to how I see feelings spread...

- Feelings (In a natural occurance) comes in waves, that lasts about 6-10 seconds. They have the same feel and timing to them as a Wave that is slowly rolling on to the beach.

- It is always the most rough (and often dark) feeling that is easiest to feel, and always are first in line when you FEEL inside of your self. This is like if you work at a postoffice, and the feelings you have stored inside of you are like customers lined up at your desk. It is always the largest, most powerfull feeling that are your first customer, and actually prevents you from seeing the back of the line, where there are "customers" such as Inner peace, love, compasion etc. .... And until you have Serviced the customer right in front of you, there are no room for other customers (feelings)....

- Feelings that are stuck in your body take up a LOT of your lifes energy to continously hold them in place ..... The math for this is actually pretty simple. Remember one of lifes "golden moments", one of lifes "highs". Then feel, how you are now. The difference is roughly the amount of energy you spend to hold your stored feelings in place(!)

- I find it very difficult to distinguish where an emotional pain ends, and a physical pain begins.

- It is my experience, that physical illneses are often rooted in stored feelings (or more precisely the energy stucked to hold the feeling in place).

- A "break down", when you feel that there are Damns inside of you that break, and the following often very forcefull emotional outburst is one or more of your cups, that is being turned upside down  

- Sentences like "Get over it!", "Don't be such a wimp", "Now, you don't cry anymore", "Be happy now!" etc. etc. are (IMHO) designed to make it easier in the short run, but MUCH more difficult in the long run!! ...

- Feelings either Attract us or Repell us. This is like magnetism.


Okay - that was a lot of "theory" ... So how can you use this to get better at yourself? ....

Well, the "normal" way we as humans tend to react to strong emotions inside of use are:

- Push them away / turn our conscious away from them. (They are not "happy feelings", but "bad" feelings that I don't want.... So if I can't see the feeling, then the feeling can't see me *LOL* ....). This also includes "doing" something, that turns your attention away from the feeling ....

- Identify myself with the feeling, meaning I "become" the feeling, and everything I do, think and say are "colored" by that feeling. (A "state" you are in are (imho) nothing more than a specific "feeling" that you have identified with so much, that you actually BELIEVE it is how you are!!). This actually strengthen the feeling, as you "feed" it new energy by being the feeling.

And then there is the NOT very used method (and offcource hardest method in the here and now *S*), and that is Observing the feeling inside of you while it is there!!! ..... THIS is actually your "normal" way of dealing with emotions, just applied consciously on the feelings you normally would shy away from(!) .... This is like being aware the feeling is there, and just Observe it without judging, without moving away from it (and at the same time avoid to "lock" the feeling in place). It's like you "acknowledge" that the feeling is there, without neither repulsion nor attraction ....

This "starring the inner beast in the eyes" without flinching, actually slowly allows the feeling to be "acknowledged" and "felt", and thereby you have "serviced" the customer in the front of your line, and can move on to the next customer. Basically YOU have to train yourself in getting USED to the feeling, nothing more, nothing les  

This is like going against everything you normally would associate with how to handle feelings, and if it's NOT tough, and NOT hard, then you are too "light" on yourself. This is like training your physical body - if it doesn't hurt a little, it doesn't give you anything. Be carefull though - again, you wouldnt want to "overdo" it neither, (or - in the picture of your physical body - Overtrain you body...)

One of the few conscious techniques, that uses some of these info's on feelings is JourneyWorks by Brandon Bays, that uses the Layered fact of feelings to actually "travel down through" the different feelings, and in the end reaching your Inner Self / Source ....

I hope, that you can use some of this  

Cheers from Denmark,

[Chimerae]

I had good luck with just B-complex vitamins for some social anxiety situations.  I also keep a chewable herbal product from Solaray called "ginger trips" that's just ginger and honey.  Between the B-complex and the ginger and coffee to decrease my psychic sensitivity (which increases the need for b-complex and ginger -- sigh)  I can handle doing most of what I have to do.

Most drugs don't work on me but at at the moment lorazepam makes all the difference in the world in extreme circumstances.   I hate taking drugs at all, so I wait until the absolute last minute to take it and don't take it very often usually as little as the minimum dose every 4 - 6 weeks.  

All lorazepam does when I take it is keep me from that ever escalating "bouncing off the walls" panic -- it's just enough that I can effectively work meditative techniqes and energy practice.  Before the lorazepam, once I crossed a certain theshold, all the techniques and practice did was keep my external appearance smooth and extend the amount of time I could endure.  Before lorazepam, it usually took me weeks to come down once I crossed the panic threshold.  I would retrigger over next to nothing.  Lorazepam hauls me back over the precipice onto solid footing and cuts my recovery time to one good night's sleep.

Oh yeah . . .and I can GET that "good night's sleep" that was unavailable to me before.

The biggest benefit has not been the drug benefit.  Because I now have a tool that normal people understand and fit in with accepted cultral patterns, I can take a relaxed approach to a thousand social circumstances that would have been minefields before.  The worst of social anxiety for me wasn't the anxiety attacks them selves -- nor the interpersonal attacks that come from being different.  The worst of it was the extra work and constrant stress of calculating cost/benefit of both engaging and avoiding potentially explosive circumstances.  

People who do not understand believe this is a lack of courage.  It's nothing of the sort.  You know you have a certain resource level and it's needful to budget.  Meanwhile, the bank has to be refilled and some of that requires going Out There.

With lorazepam, I still experience it all.  It's just manageable, plus, I don't have to waste my energy assessing whether I can afford to take the risk.  I just risk, because now I have a parachute.

Throughout my life, I have balanced the social anxiety with an understanding of the benfit.  There's benfit in damn near everything if you can dig deep enough.  

My social anxiety has demanded that I be intentional about my interactions.  Sleep walking through life has never been an option.  I have a lot of friends, most of whom are closer than most people's families.  Part of that is the way my cultural limitation means that I invest myself with great care.  Part of it is that the very things that create the tendency to social anxiety make me sensitive to what's really going on with other people.  Normal people in this culture are starved for their own authenticity.  A lifetime of facing the dilemnas involved means that courage and genuine humility are now habit.    

You and I have to live with our authenticity.  That's a privlige disguised as a punishment and hidden under the cover of panic.  Peer pressure has never been much of a limiter in my life.  The sword cuts both ways.  Social inclusion has it's price just as it has it's benefits.  

You are not your fear.  It's an energy field around you -- not you.  Working through that field bring mastery that extends to other areas.

I'm just so impressed at how you are working with this.

[daem0n]

ok, moved out of it myself, can't bother to read all of this so:
http://www.eclecticenergies.com/ you will know what's up
Meditation:

This is NOT Hatha Yoga exercises. There should be no compression of breath. Your breathing should be normal, but deep.

1. Sit erect in a straight-back chair. Shut out all sound as best as you can and prevent interruption.

2. Close your eyes and turn your attention toward your heart.

3. In your imagination, enter your heart.

4. To your surprise, you are now standing on a green plain in the countryside. The sky above you is bright pink. In front of you is a green, grassy hill, and on top of the hill is a temple. This temple is your heart. Hold this visualization.

5. Now climb the hill. You walk up the grassy slope to the temple. You climb the steps of the temple and enter the center doorway. Observe the appearance of the temple. Is it swept clean? Or is it covered with dust?

6. Walk into the dimly lit interior and approach the central adytum. As you near, you can see a flickering light within. The flame grows brighter as you approach. It swells and recedes rhythmically with your own heart beat in the bowl-like depression in the center of the room.

7. Gaze upon this flame. Send it your energies. See it respond to your energies, watch it grow bright and strong as it reaches up to touch the ceiling 40 feet above. You are feeding the flame of your heart. You are stimulating it to growth. Breathe deeply and realize in the depth of your being that your heart center is coming alive.

8. Open your eyes and sit in quiet meditation for 5 minutes before rising and terminating the exercises.

Perform this exercise no more than 2X per week - at first.
Sound has always played an important part in psychic development. Any uttered sound designed to achieve a human response is a mantram. Important among these are "tho," "ehm," "meh," and "err."

"Tho" is pronounced like "throw" without the "r." Emphasis is placed on the "th" sound. It effects the Throat Chakra and its corresponding gland, the thyroid gland.

"Ehm" is pronounced like "aim." It effects the thymus gland and is a beneficial influence upon the Heart Chakra.

"Meh" is pronounced like "met" but with an "h" ending instead of the "t." This has a soothing effect on the physical nervous system and a stirring influence on the Heart Chakra.

"Err" is pronounced "urr" and the "rr" sound is sustained at the end. This mantram is particularly helpful in clearing an upset or chaotic condition in the mind or emotions and should be used for that purpose.

More Heart Chakra Exercises:

(1) Turn your attention to your heart. Visualize energy flowing into and surrounding the heart by seeing that energy vibrating as a shining PINK cloud and intone the various mantra that stimulate the Heart Chakra - "ehm" and "meh." Practice this exercise 2X per week, preferably in the morning upon waking.

On the other days of the week, perform one or more of the following exercises:

(2) Mantram. Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor, your spine straight and your head erect. Intone softly but quite audibly the following mantram 7X consecutively without pausing. Do NOT vary the tone.

RA-MEH-RA-MA-RA-MEH

(3) Color plus mantram. Sit as indicated before. Visualize a PINK cloud around your body at the level of the heart. See the cloud pulsate in rhythm with your heart's beat. Intone softly:

U-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-UMM

The "U" is pronounced "ooh." Do this 3X. The intonations should coincide with the visualization of the PINK cloud.

(4) Energy Flow. Sit as indicated. Visualize a WHITE cloud of vibrant energy over your head. The cloud should be VERY white, like sunlight on newly fallen snow. Know that this cloud is composed of VITAL PRIMARY ENERGY OF THE HIGHEST SORT. Then, by an act of your WILL, bring this cloud down into your heart, entering the body at the left of the spinal column between the shoulder blades.

The above exercises will bring a great stimulus of energy to your Heart Chakra, and if you do nothing to dissipate it, or block it off or lower this energy to your lower body chakras (ie. stomach, intestines, sex organs) in between periods, you will find that after about 2 months certain changes are taking place within you.

Don't make the mistake of dissipating this precious heart energy on unworthy projects (ie. romantic affairs, etc.) If you permit it to help you as it can and will, you will find you are able to understand others better. You will catch their moods and sometimes read their thoughts. This will make you more understanding, tolerant and compassionate. Please understand that these are essential elements IF you are going to "safely" develop your Higher Sacred (Throat, 3rd Eye and Crown/3rd Eye) Centers.

Source: Wisdom of the Mystic Master by Joseph Weed

Commentary: I want you to know that I left out all the preparatory exercises that led up to these exercises, such as, envisioning a pink cloud totally engulf the room you are in for one minute, then change the color to blue, then white; listening to the sound of a single solitary violin play a song in your mind for one minute; think no thought for one minute (and that means NOT thinking of NOT THINKING OF A SINGLE THOUGHT, which is seemingly impossible but is NOT impossible once you get it); all those exercises that train you HOW TO THINK and CONCENTRATE, etc., not to mention the breathing exercises!!!! (But, if you have done any serious meditation training, you should already know these basics, right?)

Also, feel free to do the above exercises more frequent than the prescribed doses, and feel free to invent some of your own exercises. But don't over do it! It won't help; in fact, it may slow your progress.

[TheDarkApprentice]

I thank all of you for your input. Much apprciated.

Daemon- Thats a great website. Very informative. I really need do do the heart chakra excersises. I definitly do not have emotion towards anyone or care about anyone. So this will definitly help.

Chimerae- Thanks for your info and the complements. It's hard for me to tell if I am handeling a stituation well at all.

I'm not a big fan of taking medicine as well. Mainly because it usually doesn't effect me at all. I have only had noticable effects from two drugs I have taken. One being accutane witch had a few negative effects and was a risky medications, but it worked to some extent never the less. The other which I took a few months ago was Remeron. And I went psycho on that so I got off that right away.

I too, was also recently on lorazepam. But it did nothing for me. I was taking a 1 pill/0.5 MG doseage and it did nothing for me. I guess that a half of one of these pills will do it for most people. But nothing for me. I have a high tolerance for medicine. I've never done illegal drugs but would assume that I would have a high tolerance for them too.

Actually today, I started to take Paxil. It's suppose to help with my sleep problems but I doubt it will. I wish I knew a technique or drug that could help you fall asleep, but would also help you wakr up. It's frusterating. But I am sure it doesnt help that I am up till anywhere from 12-6 AM in the morning. But the reason for that is, I can't fall asleep. It takes me sometimes 2-3 hours to fall asleep if i am just resting in my bed. Very frusterating.

Kenneth- Thanks for your input.

I am also one of those people who can be normal and feel perfectly normal around a group of friends or in  a certain gathering. I just wish I could incoorperate that in everyday life. Thanks for your info on feelings as well. I totally agree.


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