A Cynic's Mystical Terminology

[mactombs]

Maybe some of you will get the humor in this. It's neither entirely serious, nor entirely flippant.

A CYNIC'S MYSTICAL TERMINOLOGY

Angel – The metaphysical equivalent of a butler.
Arch Angel – A bright, fuzzy image used to acquire mindless believers; an excellent costume for assuming instant authority on all things.
Astral – A metaphysical location where the only certainty is that everything is uncertain.
Astral Projection – (Also OBE, NDE) A trance/sleep/injury-induced hallucination that reminds people that it wouldn't be a hallucination if it didn't seem absolutely authentic.
Atlantis – Ancient city used for training guides and medium respondents.
Demon – Entity that causes others to disagree with you.
Evil – The opposite of whatever views you happen to eschew.
Fortuneteller – One skilled in the methods of stating the obvious in vague and general terms.
Forum – An exchange on the Internet used for testing how gullible people are.
God – The prime defender of one's ideals.
Grey – Usually a malignant alien presence bent on irrationally subverting the human race, or building complex paranoid triangle schemes.
Guide – An entity useful for relieving oneself of the burden of finding things out for oneself. Sometimes, a genie. The mystic title for an adult's imaginary friend.
Ki/Chi – Imaginary and invisible weapon for playing Asian-oriented games during recess.
Love – The proper response when confronted with anything scary.
Magick – A way of spelling to renew a term that has long lost its credibility.
Meditation – Contemplating how well one has managed not to think about anything ALSO: A great excuse if one is caught napping at work.
Medium – One who uses a bizarre spelling for their pen name ALSO: A method for one to obtain credibility without having a PhD.
Mysticism – A school of thought that allows adults to play make-believe while maintaining a straight face.
Neg – A scapegoat ALSO: The prime entities over which chronic victims obsess.
Psychic – A person with extraordinary powers that manifest only in the absence of critics.
Shamanism – A good excuse for ingesting ethnogens.
Wicca – A role-playing group created by A. Crowley slightly more respectable than D&D groups.
X – The single most valuable letter for spelling guides' names.

[Eol007]

MacTombs,

Fell off ones chair laughing.

Nice one,


S  

[Frank]

Ha ha, me too, I'll be chuckling all day over some of these.

Yours,
Frank

[Nick]

The cynic in me truly appreciated: A CYNIC'S MYSTICAL TERMINOLOGY.

It's neither entirely serious, nor entirely flippant.

Yet quite amusing. It had me smiling. Thanks for that.


Best,
Nick

[Tayesin]

Excellent  Excellent  Excellent

i needed that laugh.

Thanks

[neutrino]

 love it!