Methane: The Ultimate Spiritual Energy

[Leo Volont]

I remembered a somewhat ludicrous means of attaining Spiritual Energy.

There is this book which is still being published... "Secret of the Golden Flower" which is even endorsed with a forward by the illustrious Carl Gustav Jung himself.  The Book is about Taoist Yoga -- the Chinese version of Tantric Yoga.

I read the book over and over and underneath the euphemisms I could not shake off the conclusion that the Chinese think that Fart Gas is the greatest source of Spiritual Energy.  You see, their recommendation for retaining and storing 'Spiritual Energy' is to get a rounded wedge of wood and fitting it up the crack of the butt and sitting on it in such a way that no 'Spiritual Energy' can escape.  That certainly sounds to me that they wished to exert enough pressure upon the anus so that methane gas could not escape.

Then they had diagrams and descriptions of how this 'energy' would back up through the body and 'inflate' the different Chakras.  

Yuck!

They should have included a disclaimer in the book warning about the hazzards of explosion near any open flame.

And just to point out that various Spiritual Traditions can seem to disagree upon almost anything... Pythagoras, when he drew up a set of Rules for his Spiritual-Mathematic Community, made it Rule Number One that the Members of his Order could not eat any bean or legume product.... and I can't make myself believe that Pythagoras objected to beans because their influence would be too 'spiritual'.

[daem0n]

accidentaly i happen to know the reasoning of pythagoras
the plant was exclusively broad bean (look in dictionary, i had to)
namely he believed that it is connecting souls to the underworld and he compared eating beans to eating heads of your parents
also he pointed out that when beans grow in a glass jar, they resemble faces, internal organs etc
makes me wonder ... if my source is correct ...

about contracting a**hole
http://www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Bandhas.html

[Leo Volont]

accidentaly i happen to know the reasoning of pythagoras
the plant was exclusively broad bean (look in dictionary, i had to)
namely he believed that it is connecting souls to the underworld and he compared eating beans to eating heads of your parents
also he pointed out that when beans grow in a glass jar, they resemble faces, internal organs etc
makes me wonder ... if my source is correct ...

I suppose you could be right.  But it seems like Pythagoras would be imposing an awful lot of imagination upon these beans.  If such a suspicious and paranoid imagination were applied against any food, then wouldn't there be some reason to reject almost anything from the diet?  Chickens look like babies, carrots are like Moma's nipples, and vegtables appear like the skin of demons...    

What I suppose is that Scholars were searching for Euphemisms.  Their High and Mighty opinion of Pythagoras could not bare to suppose that their Hero could contemplate something as mundane as flatulence, and so they went to almost incredable lengths to fabricate some gloriously metaphysical reason why he did not want a barracks full of men living on pots full of beans.   But, to me, the reason why one would not want to live in close quarters with a gaggle of bean-eaters is startlingly obvious.

[daem0n]

rings true
they are doing it all the time, too bad that they don't understand what their hero could possibly wanted to show by such actions, and what the actions were anyway, and we are left with the bible

[Leo Volont]

Anyway, I was thinking that the Pythagorian Greeks and the Chinese Taoists were perhaps pursuing the same ends, though from different directions.  The Greeks were insisting upon cutting back on flatulance by limiting the diet to non-windy foods.  And the Chinese were insisting that their people 'stick a plug in it' so to speak -- that they be indoctrinated with the idea that retaining Methane would be of great spiritual advantage.  Of course they would still need to fart on occassion, but they would not have the audacity to 'waste such important spiritual energy' in the presence of their Spiritual Masters or even amoung their respected colleagues.  

Should we concern ourselves that these monks were lied too and deceived so that they should act politely?  Maybe.  But one needs to consider that many of these Monasteries were filled up with Orphans -- children who lost their parents, or bastards that never had parents.  These children were treated like children and manipulated with stories, some of which survived into their Adult Doctrines.

[You]

So this explains why I'm so tired all the time... and so alone... (or maybe the latter's from the smell).

[Leo Volont]

So this explains why I'm so tired all the time... and so alone... (or maybe the latter's from the smell).

Actually, pure Methane does not have much of a repugnant smell.  Flatulance only becomes repellently smelly when the bowels are full of excrement.  So, even if you do not feel as though you need to have a bowel movement, if you notice that your flatulence is beginning to take on a hindeous oder, it is time to go to the latrine and take care of your business.   Then notice, that hours after your bowels have been exacuated, your flatulence will become almost unnoticeable... well, not unless you are hard of hearing.

[Wells]

Holding in your farts!?  Good god, sounds like torture to me!

[Leo Volont]

Holding in your farts!?  Good god, sounds like torture to me!

It is torture.

Most of the time you don't think about it, but you do let a lot of gas slip out through the day.  You notice it when you don't... I remember when I used to date... about three or four hours into a date I would get these abdominal pains and would not at first understand their source, and then I would remember -- being in such close proximity to somebody whom I wished to impress would keep me from releasing even the least little squeek.  As I became a more experienced dater I would remember to excuse myself every once in awhile ("I have a book I'd like to show you... it's out in the car... I'll go and get it") and then I'd simply go outside and scare the birds out of the trees with one humongous fart.  That would put me in good enough shape to be charming for another two or three hours.

Most of the time people are discreet enough not to be flatulent in the presence of other people.  But there are exceptions.  I once knew a feminist lesbian who thought it was completely natural and she would let them rip all the time -- even in the car.  Yuck.  

I think that when you live with other people, you do owe it to them to be discreet.  flatulence is something that you can go outside for, or do in the bathroom like other functions.  As I said before, in regard to Dates, you can go two or three hours until it begins to hurt.

But, then again, I once heard an old Sargent say, "I'd rather fart and be ashamed then bust a gut and go lame".

[You]

So, going with what you said (and I agree) farting is a good thing, so how do these guys see it as healthy?

By the way, who knows how to swallow air into their stomachs? I used to do that and then be able to burp it up, though sometimes you couldn't burp it up and it started to hurt.

[Leo Volont]

So, going with what you said (and I agree) farting is a good thing, so how do these guys see it as healthy?

By the way, who knows how to swallow air into their stomachs? I used to do that and then be able to burp it up, though sometimes you couldn't burp it up and it started to hurt.

Actually, if I read the book (Secret of the Golden Flower, about Taoist Yoga) correctly, they were entirely against allowing any of the precious methane to leak out -- they would form fit a piece of wood to fit into their crack and sit on it all day, hoping to bloat up with gas.

They would suppose that the gas would be purified by the lower chakras and that it would be etherealized and transmuted up into the higher chakras.

For all I know, there might actually be something to it.  I had posited the congecture that one gullible generation had taken too seriously a Facetious Fabrication from the previous Generation -- a story intended to keep the young lads from farting too much, but they grew up believing it.

I've been around the Sanskrit Yogas since nearly forever now, and there is nothing they haven't seriously tried lakhs of times, and I have never heard them talking in praise of retaining methane, and these are the people who will drink urine.

I do prefer the Sanskrit Traditions to the Taoist or even Tibetan.  The Hindus simply have a better and more complete literature, and frankly they have more Saints to show for their trouble.  But it would have been beneath me to select a particularly ludricrous example of Taoist credulity in order to discredit their entire spiritual culture... or what is left of it.  They do have some really neat breathing exercises.  However, I really deplore the fact that they turned all of their Temples into mere Fight Clubs -- they've removed their Holy Altars so they would have more room for kickboxing.  I suspect they had a systematic problem in China that they did not have in India.  In the Sanskrit Traditions many monks came to the Monasteries late in Life -- it was their Retirement and they looked forward to their Spiritual pursuits.  In China, on the other hand, the Monasteriers were primarily orphanages for children and jails for criminals.  Virtually nobody volunteered to enroll in a Monastery.  It is more likely that nearly everybody was there grudgingly.  What possible Spiritual Tradition can develop from such a Set Up?  What may have started as an Ideal, would certainly degenerate in such an atmosphere, and the Inmates would eventually take over their Prisons.  They would become Opium Dens and Fight Clubs.  And they would publish ridiculous books about Fart Gas, which we should suspect of being elaborate and inscrutable instances of subtle oriental satire.  But after having been translated by some sincere but starry-eyed fool, who could not recognize the humor because he could not suspect it, it would be difficult to discern the Book's true intent -- whether it had originally been meant to be comical or not.

[afgan123]

Ah!! I don't understand this!! I have not read the book in question, but the entire Idea of holding gas is not appealing....on the other hand I think

The process may help one raise their concentration levels and apply extreme concentration to the specific centers!! do you thinks that can be a possibility!

Well I agree to Leo about Sanskrit Yoga being better off, not because I am an Indian but because I believe its been there for much long, most of the things are backed up by systematic research and yes a lot of great saints have demonstrated and ratified the system.

But I would also like say that there can be many ways (systems) to reach the goal, so the one that book refers to may be something unique which helped a certain group of people achieve results...!!

Sumeet

[paker7]

Hi Leo

Is this the book you are talking about ?

http://www.alchemylab.com/golden_flower.htm

I'll read it later - now i'm too tired and sleepy.

[You]

Yeah well sorry but I'm feeling very anti-monk at this specific moment... *goes to the boy's room* (that means I'm going on the toilet, where I'll be expelling my spiritual energy among other things)

[Leo Volont]

Hi Leo

Is this the book you are talking about ?

http://www.alchemylab.com/golden_flower.htm

I'll read it later - now i'm too tired and sleepy.

No.  What you found was an essay written by somebody which used the same title.  The book is still sold through Barnes and Nobles,... here it is: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=8y6IFQy9s1&isbn=0156799804&itm=1

[Leo Volont]

Ah!! I don't understand this!! I have not read the book in question, but the entire Idea of holding gas is not appealing....on the other hand I think

The process may help one raise their concentration levels and apply extreme concentration to the specific centers!! do you thinks that can be a possibility!

Well I agree to Leo about Sanskrit Yoga being better off, not because I am an Indian but because I believe its been there for much long, most of the things are backed up by systematic research and yes a lot of great saints have demonstrated and ratified the system.

But I would also like say that there can be many ways (systems) to reach the goal, so the one that book refers to may be something unique which helped a certain group of people achieve results...!!

Sumeet

Hello... I mean "Namaste  (did I spell that right?)"

It is so nice to converse with somebody from India.  There is so much Spritual Wealth from out of the Sanskrit Traditions, both ancient and modern.  Anyone who studies anything spiritual, before they have examined the Sanskrit Traditions, is just limiting themselves.  Of course the richness of the Sanskrit Traditions present complexities in detail and elaborations -- it can be confusing at times.  But one should not avoid the Light because one is dazzled by it.  But I suppose one can study the lesser Traditions first, in order to accustom oneself gradually to the Light.  but they do themselves a disservice who never delve into the Sanskrit Schools.  There is no other Culture where Spirituality is considered so important.

[paker7]

Hi Leo

Is this the book you are talking about ?

http://www.alchemylab.com/golden_flower.htm

I'll read it later - now i'm too tired and sleepy.

No.  What you found was an essay written by somebody which used the same title.  The book is still sold through Barnes and Nobles,... here it is: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=8y6IFQy9s1&isbn=0156799804&itm=1

Are you completely sure ?

Maybe it is a different translation of the same original chinese text ?



Look again at the chapter titles here and here.

" 1. HEAVENLY CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE HEART"
and
"1. HEAVENLY CONSCIOUSNESS (THE HEART)"

"2. THE PRIMORDIAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT"
and
"2. THE PRIMAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT"

ps. Hahahaha - looks like this book is an english translation of a german translation of original chinese texts. ( try it at the http://www.babelfish.org/ )

THE PRIMAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT
to chineese trad and back to english:
Primitive spirit and state of mind clear spirit

ps2. There is nothing here about wooden corks blocking my precious farts (thank heavens)

[You]

Here's an interesting query: How do the monks defecate without releasing their methane during the process?

That could be an interesting thing to try and control...

[Leo Volont]

Hi Leo

Is this the book you are talking about ?

http://www.alchemylab.com/golden_flower.htm

I'll read it later - now i'm too tired and sleepy.

No.  What you found was an essay written by somebody which used the same title.  The book is still sold through Barnes and Nobles,... here it is: http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?userid=8y6IFQy9s1&isbn=0156799804&itm=1

Are you completely sure ?

Maybe it is a different translation of the same original chinese text ?



Look again at the chapter titles here and here.

" 1. HEAVENLY CONSCIOUSNESS OF THE HEART"
and
"1. HEAVENLY CONSCIOUSNESS (THE HEART)"

"2. THE PRIMORDIAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT"
and
"2. THE PRIMAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT"

ps. Hahahaha - looks like this book is an english translation of a german translation of original chinese texts. ( try it at the http://www.babelfish.org/ )

THE PRIMAL SPIRIT AND THE CONSCIOUS SPIRIT
to chineese trad and back to english:
Primitive spirit and state of mind clear spirit

ps2. There is nothing here about wooden corks blocking my precious farts (thank heavens)

Okay, it may be the same thing, though the book has a forward written by Carl Jung which is worth the price of the book itself.

But I paged through and couldn't find that passage I remembered about the wedge up the butt.  But, then again, I should admit that I am working with a 30 year old memory of the Book.  I would hate to admit that I might be mistaken and have been thinking of an entirely different Book.  I've heard everyone makes mistakes, and so this might be mine.

[Leo Volont]

Here's an interesting query: How do the monks defecate without releasing their methane during the process?

That could be an interesting thing to try and control...

That is the very problem which made me think that the entire premise had been an elaborate hoax -- a huge scatological satire meant to poke some fun at Monastic Flatulence.

Now it is pointed out to me that there are other translations of "Secret of the Golden Flower" floating about which completely drop references to plugging the butt.  It is like they stripped the Joke of its punchline and are dead set upon taking the whole thing most seriously.

There have been other instances of Jokes played on Philosophy.  Hume's "Critique of Reason"(if I remember correctly) was intended to be an elaborate joke, casting doubt, as it did, upon the most basic assumptions of cause and effect.  However, the joke was so entirely consistent that it was found to be almost impossible to refute.  It was written for a laugh, but ended in virtually derailing Western Philosophy and beginning a concatenation of nihilistic disasters which still plague our Civilization (if it can still be called that).  But, of course, "The Secret of the Golden Flower" which pokes fun at flatulance, and even if misunderstood, could lead only to the most strained and uncomfortable forms of 'breathing' exercises, could never do the same damage that Hume's joke caused.