Soul Mate Vrs Soul Mate

[Paradox]

Im a College student, and I live In The United states. I have a Girlfriend that i have been with for about 3 years. We started out as best friends and the relationship turned romantic from that. We get along perfectly and even though in many respects we are opposite from eachother, we seem to compliment eachother that way. Weve had our problems, and weve worked through them again and again, proving how strong our connection was. I never realized though that we were soulmates until recently.

About a year ago She annonced that She wanted to study over seas in Ireland for the Fall semester. I worried about that of course, but I somehow felt that this was something that had to happen. I wasnt sure what, but i just felt that this Trip was going to have some signicance for both of us.

It was a very very sad day the day she left three months ago. Iv spent the last three months in emotional agony. She loves Ireland (shes of Irish decent but she was born in America) and we both agreed that this trip was a test of our love and would help us grow. But I had a "feeling" that some things were going to happen that I wasnt going to like - But They had to happen. At first I tried to deny my fears. I coulnt tell my worst fears apart from my intuition (sometimes I still cant) But one thing remained certain - That our Love would survive this and we would be back together when she got back. I just dont know how i know this. It doesnt seem like wishfull thinking, it just feels like a truth.


Well my fears did come true, as expected and exatcly when i "knew" they would. She met a irish guy there, they became good friends. and eventaully they developed feelings for eachother. She didnt have to tell me because my connection to her is so strong, i just "know" what she thinks and vice versa. SO needless to say this put a problem in our relationship. I was suprised though to hear her proclaim that she does indeed love me and doesnt want to lose me. Meeting that someone over there made her realize how much we meant to eachother. But He wants me out of the picture. Hes trying his hardest to convince her to leave me. The problem is that she knows she loves me (which amazes me after what we have been trhough) but she feels some strange attachment to him that she doesnt understand. He feels this too, and because of this He wants to move to america to steal my Girlfriend. This is very scary indeed.


Now, while all of this was going on In ireland, I started to notice a lot of strange things happening to me. Strange synchronicitys and bizzare coincidences, precognitive dreams. I take these signs as to tell me that things will be alright. But this situation is crazy.

So I went to a medium about this. I didnt have to tell her much, she picked up most of the story before i told her. She told me that My Girlfriend truley does love me, and that I already knew that. She told me the reason why my GF had to go to ireland is because she has lived there in 2 past lifes - one with The other guy and One with me. meaning both of us our her soulmate.

The medium told me that this situation had to happen for her to realize Our love fully, and that Everything will be fine. She said this is all because of my girlfriends soul had to have closure with the other guys soul before she and I can continue. She also told me some other very personal things that she could have no way of knowing. I walked away stunned.

So I really am her soulmate. But so is he.  So this seems like a matter of soul mate vrs soulmate. I Hope the medium is right. She kept telling me not to worry about the other guy. But i still do, becaiuse i feel threatend. Things right now seem very hectic and confusing for everyone. Shes coming home in three weeks.

So, Do i have to worry or  is my intuition and the mediums intuituin right? I feel dispite this ugly situation that we will survive, but this is the scariest thing iv even had to face. I love this girl with all my heart and she loves me. Was all of this suppose to happen for us to realize the extent of all this?

[Rastus]

You can have more than 1 soulmate.  Most old Souls have many.  Not all Soumate relationships are male/female sexual.  They can be brotherly, sisterly, parental, or just a friendship.

Cherish the connection and keep going forward with your life.  The connection can help you both progress on your paths (it has in fact already done this in prior incarnations).

[laiana]

Paradox - you are much, much braver than I could ever be.  I believe my current partner is my soul mate, and when I read what you wrote about getting along perfectly, but being opposite enough to have a healthy balance, that certainly made me smile because its exactly the way my relationship is!   We ALWAYS resolve any matters that come up and we are both continually amazed at how special our relationship is.  We met when I was 19, and from the day we met we were together.

If he decided he needed to go somewhere without me, I think I would be utterly and totally distraught.  I don't know if I could have handled it as well as you have, but I believe you should trust in what you both share, and await her return in 3 weeks.  As they say, everything happens for the best and I am a firm believer in that.  I would like to think that I could be as sensible about it as you appear to be, but as they say, its easier said than done

If she comes back and you are both still madly in love, then yes, I think that the trip had to happen for you to realise your love for each other - and that you probably won't need to ever doubt it!!

[Eol007]

Paradox,

Difficult and good times will come and pass. Relationships wax and wane. We all dream about future love's potential and hold past joy kindled still warm to our hearts.

P.S. I wish well for you and your girlfriend. It reminded me of the thought that: -

Some one somewhere loves you!

After a quick google a poem displayed before my eyes (its not great, but hope it sees you through for a bit) . I hope you do not mind me sharing it for you and for all!

SOMEONE SOMEWHERE

These are feelings of love,
these are feelings of hope,
that someone somewhere.............

Bestowed upon everyone, this is God's grace,
there is someone somewhere, you gotta trace.

There will be tender moments, both of love and lust,
but you have someone somewhere, you're gonna trust.

May you look at your palm, to go through,
so you find someone somewhere, made for you.

Get up and see, why have you been waiting for years??,
someone somewhere is ready, to hold that flowing river of tears.

Hold your breath, catch the moment...don't let it go,
someone somewhere who cares for you, is only away, a stones throw.


By someone called Santosh Maithani (whoever this person is...)

Kind wishes,


Stephen  

[Graelwyn]

Hi Paradox... I can identify with this totally. I met one of my soulmates online and we got very close...could feel all he felt, we could simply imagine holding one another and it would be physically felt, and I could always feel his energy around him. But, he is in the USA and I in the Uk...and to top that, he had been waiting for disability payments for 9 months and was living illegally with his sister in a welfare housing apt. Well, to cut a long story short, he was discovered living where he was and given days to move out and find somewhere else. I have not heard since May 12th.

After a month or so, I started to have a horrible feeling that he had taken up a mutual friend (who lives in the next state to him and who met him in a chatroom same time as me) on her offer to stay in touch. In fact, I felt sure he and she were having a relationship, but put it down to my fears.


Few weeks ago, I found out from this woman herself that he has stayed with her twice, all the while, not making any contact with me. I can fully understand what you are feeling, and admire your staying power and faith, for I lost mine and have no hope that love will win in the end.

I hope she sees the light and returns to you.

Kate xxx

[jilola]

Personally I don't see what love and sex have to do with each other other than sex being an expression of love.
How is love for another less from love for you? I can see how sex would be a bit of an obstacle since our society equates the sharing of genes with sharing souls.

Figure out what love means to you personally and then act accordingly.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

[Frank]

Paradox:

I really love women, and quite a few have captured my heart in the past. Every time I fell head over heels in love, I thought this time it will never end. But it did, and for all manner of reasons. I never really stopped loving any of them. It's just that times change, people change, circumstances change. Things just have a habit of moving on (and sometimes when you least expect it).

I look back now with fondness at all the times I shared, and I look forward in anticipation of all the times I will share.

I wrote out a cheque to a woman this afternoon and her first name was Anne-Marie. Oh, how it took me back. My first ever love, her first name was Anne-Marie. I can remember it now like it was yesterday. We were fifteen when we met and our whole lives revolved around each other for almost 3 years, which at that age seemed like forever! The day I discovered she had met someone else I felt my world had fallen apart. But I truly loved her, and could do nothing but wish her well. It took the rest of me a couple of weeks to catch up with that feeling, following which I became my usual self again.

Most older guys (I'm 45) can relate to what you are feeling only too well. Virtually all of us have been in that position when we were younger. When you are young and in love, especially if it's the first time and particularly if circumstances are not going too well, it can make you feel extremely vulnerable. But you are at the stage in life where you are learning the basics. You are still emotionally insecure. I'm not sure exactly how old you are but feelings of emotional insecurity, especially in matters to do with the opposite sex, is very normal when you are young.

Young people develop at different rates too. It would appear, from what you say that she is perhaps a lot more "together" in an emotional sense than you. Remember, she is learning about her feelings and experimenting just as much as you are. Though I guess you feel you may have pulled the short straw on this occasion. The passage of time will eventually help you put it all down to experience. As you develop and get used to handling these types of powerful feelings, you will learn to be able to put it down to experience right away.

Remember, we have all come here to experience physical life in all manner of ways. You have chosen to learn about all the various feelings and sensations of having a loving relationship, which is a very sweet thing to do. Unfortunately, you appear to have veered off that course a little, and have started to go down the road not of love, but of emotional dependency. If I were you, I would engage reverse gear pretty quick and get off that track.

I hear what you say about the medium and past lives, and so forth. But to me no such convoluted explanation is necessary. The situation you find yourself in is ever so common, and is the reason why these kinds of commercial "mediums" notice it so quick. After all, this kind of emotional-life stuff is their bread and butter income! Boy meets girl, both fall in love; one moves away, meets someone else and leaves the other feeling stranded. As I say, virtually every guy you meet will have "been there" at some time or another (and every woman too, for that matter).

In years to come perhaps you will find yourself being the one doing the, "moving away and meeting someone else". Again, experiencing our emotions and our sexuality is the very stuff of physical life, which we all do in various ways. On this occasion, you have chosen this particular way of experiencing, so be happy in yourself.

Regarding the specifics of the relationship (if I may):

Personally, the fact she met someone else would have given me a clear signal the relationship was over. I have no desire to burst your dream bubble, and please don't think I am saying this to upset you; I am merely expressing my opinion based on what you say in your post: you say she loves you, but to me she's just stringing you along and has locked both of you in a classic Love Triangle manoeuvre.

Remember, she is experimenting with her emotions and sexuality just as you are, and this is just a classic: where you have either a guy playing off two women, or a woman playing off two guys. Either way it's a classic manoeuvre. I have never wanted to initiate anything like this personally, as I'm a strictly one-on-one kind of person, but I have known a few people who have had experience of this kind of scenario, all of which ended disastrously.

The other important point I would ask you to look at very carefully, is the fact that you said you both agreed beforehand the trip would be a "test" of your love. Well, I don't want this to sound harsh, but it would appear from what you say that she failed miserably. Not only that, all the way through your post you seem to display towards her a distinct lack of trust.

Anyhow, as I say, I'm not wanting to burst your bubble, so to speak. It's just that when I read your post certain thoughts came to mind that I considered might be helpful. Sometimes it's good to try to see things from a stranger's perspective. Best of luck, in however it may turn out!

Yours,
Frank

[Paradox]

Thank you to all have replied.
I just want to clear a few things up here. I am deffintly not emotionally dependent on her. I love her though, that is true.

The reason i posted this story was more to explore the spiritual side of it, seeing as how this is a forum for that. I realize on the materail side, this story seems pretty cut and dry (especailly to any of the older people. Im 23)

I didnt want to get too far into the actaul material side of this because i realize this isnt a love advice forum. But In her defense I will say a few things. What ever she has done , she was "allowed" to do, since for the duration of the trip we were not technically a couple. She is everything but malicious. She would not purposly do any of this to hurt me. She would deffintly not string me along. She really is confused about this, and it doesnt help that this guy is pulling as hard as he can at her heart strings.

I know full well that there are plenty of different outcomes to this. I am realistic and I am sure I am not in denial. I have been through a somewhat similar situation before, so iv "been there" before too.

I guess what i really wanted to know was, how much should I rely on my intuition and how much of the hard facts should I put in perspective. I know there should be a balance. Even though this looks bad on the surface, I have this strange feeling that this isnt the case and that She will indeed return to me. We have already agreed to "try" when she comes home. The fact that she was seeing this other guy, and that it made her realize that she really does love me, is what means the most to me. All it will take to seal the deal is for her to physically return home. Its like the butterfly analogy. I feel that I will be having a wonderfull christmas this year  

So again - My intuition (along with the intuition of others) tells me one thing. Am i wrong?

[jilola]

I'd say always rely on your intuition.
Only, that assumes you can reliably tell what is intuition and what is glandular reaction.

Jouni

[Patrick-usa01]

What ever she has done , she was "allowed" to do, since for the duration of the trip we were not technically a couple.

This sounds a lot like a rationalization. If your in a relationship for 3 years, I think it's reasonable to expect that you don't cheat on each other. Why would you assume that your girlfriend is free to see other people just because she's away from you, whether it's 1 mile or 5,000 miles away? If she really deeply loves you to begin with, she wouldn't have felt the emotional need to cheat on you, nor would she be torn about dumping this other guy.

She is everything but malicious. She would not purposely do any of this to hurt me. She would differently not string me along. She really is confused about this...

I don't think most people have affairs to be mean. I think they have affairs because their emotional needs aren't being met.

We have already agreed to "try" when she comes home. The fact that she was seeing this other guy, and that it made her realize that she really does love me, is what means the most to me. All it will take to seal the deal is for her to physically return home.

I think your right.  But be prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions when she returns. Even if you totally forgive her, she will feel guilty for cheating on you. In time if she gets over her escapade in Ireland, she still has the subconscious "core image" of betraying and hurting someone she truly loves.

This has been kind of a downer post and I didn't mean it to be. Here is some advice I believe in, but will probably sound pretty hollow right now:

You truly can't love someone else, until you truly love yourself. I hope all the best for you and your girlfriend.

[Covelo]

I would just like to quickly say that our thoughts about any current situation will have a great deal of influence on the potential outcomes and that the better and higher our thoughts, the better off we will be.

Good energy...

Covelo

[Paradox]

I would just like to quickly say that our thoughts about any current situation will have a great deal of influence on the potential outcomes and that the better and higher our thoughts, the better off we will be.

Good energy...

 My thoughts exactly. This is what this whole thread was suppose to about to me.

and  to everyone that was talkin about the materail aspects of this - I realize when she comes home there is a certain amount of rebuilding to be done. I am prepared, I have been for a long time.

[narfellus]

This sounds like a movie, Paradox! Girl leaves country, meets swanky foreigner, but keeps her love for the original and comes back home. There's journey symbolism here, a percieved enemy, stakes raised and hope challenged. I do wish you luck, i think it will work out for you, but like Frank said, people can change over time, but it's all a learning process anyway. I am slightly envious of your predicament, believe it or not, as i have not known that sort of deep love in this lifetime.