Do we really choose our parents before birth?

[neutrino]

I don't follow any particular path that holds this idea to be true, and I don't believe in it dogmatically, but it does make sense to me on many levels. However, if it is true, why would a soul wishing to incarnate choose parents who don't want children?

I once found myself 4 weeks pregnant (confirmed by a test) as the result of contraceptive failure. I am very determined that I never want children & was unhappy about the situation. I was willing to have an abortion, but since there was a few days wait beforehand,  I decided to use the time to see if I could deal with the situation myself. So I visualised my period starting,  used emmenagogue herbs, and sent a loving but firm message to the spirit (if it was there) that it was not welcome & should find more appropriate parents. A  few days later I had a spontaneous miscarriage.  (BTW it's not my intention  to offend anyone who disagrees with abortion, or to enter into a debate on ethics here!)

Prior to this experience I hadn't really questioned the idea that we choose our parents, but now I wonder why a soul wishing to incarnate would put itself through such an experience? Surely it must realise it wouldn't be wanted? Or do souls not enter the body until later on in the pregnancy?

[Rastus]

The soul and the parents all agree ahead of time.  Life begins with Intent, not conception.

[timothybeasley]

Prior to this experience I hadn't really questioned the idea that we choose our parents, but now I wonder why a soul wishing to incarnate would put itself through such an experience? Surely it must realise it wouldn't be wanted?

Why do we hook up with people we later divorce?
Why do we cling to a mate who clearly doesn't want us?

There's your answer.

Some people have a desire to be not wanted.  Comes from a feeling of worthlessness and disfunctional self-worth.

My two cents...

[Frank]

Hello:

In a word, yes, I can absolutely confirm that people do choose their physical parents (and a whole load more besides).

Yours,
Frank

[Tyciol]

No, they don't, that's a load of bull. Personal opinion I suppose, but I can't see why anyone would pick parents who don't love them, will abuse them, leave them, ignore them, brainwash them, and all the things many parents do to children.

What does you vouching for it do? How about some reasoning?

[Telos]

Neutrino, that story is fascinating. It must have been an amazing experience for you.

I have never believed that we chose life, much less chose our parents. There are just too many abortions, too many complications, too many blatantly unplanned things that blow that theory to pieces. My sentiments have always been more acerbic than Tyciol's.

However, in the past few months I've been seeing life more in terms of general continuity than as discrete existence. "Life," is too general and imprecise a word to describe our existence. We often live different lives at once - a life as a spouse, a life as a coworker, a life as a parent, a life as a friend, etc. And we live different lives successively within the same lifetime - a life as a child, a life as a student, a life with this partner, a life with another partner, a life in this job, a life in that job, a life in this city, a life in that city, etc. Now lives are even more numerous and diverse - a life on the computer, a life on the internet, a life in forums, a gaming life, etc. Join all that with what we come to this forum to talk about - a spiritual life, a dream life, an inner life, a solitary life, etc. With the view that lives are everywhere for your choosing, choosing life doesn't sound so absurd.

So what about parents? Choosing parents can be almost as multitudinous, when looking at choosing your relationship with your parents. How would you treat those two people - protectors, teachers, guides, friends, abusers, dictators, despots, idiots, weakliings, children, invalids, healthy, admirable, glorious, amazing, sad, pitiable, etc. I sometimes think there's room for all parents to be in these categories and more. In that way, I don't think it's a big deal whether not we choose our parents. Not only are they all human, but we all end up leaving them anyways, and they always end up leaving us.

Nonetheless, I'll always think of that story, neutrino. Thank you for sharing it.

[Nostic]

Hello:

In a word, yes, I can absolutely confirm that people do choose their physical parents (and a whole load more besides).

Yours,
Frank

Hi Frank

Would you mind elaborating on this a bit? I also believe that we choose our situation in life prior to birth. I'm just curious as to how you've confirmed it.

[Dansk]

Well I'm not really sure about choosing one's parents but I chose my name before I was born, maybe thats why I don't hate my name like a lot of people I know do.

[Tyciol]

Your parents name you, so how could you have chosen it?

[markulous]

Has anyone read the Tibeten Book of the Dead?  They explain one viewpoint in there that says you choose your parents before your born.

In the book they explain that when you are traveling the afterlife if you are scared and you panic then you won't really think and say, "Hmm okay that looks like a loving couple."  You will just run into one at random because you are scared and trying to cling to things.

And in a book called Spirit Guides by Iris Belhayes, she explains that you choose the path of your life beforehand.  So you could actually be choosing parents that don't want you or that are bad.  You could be doing because that is part of your growth and you want to experience that emotion.

I probably won't know until I die so I am not going to say they are 100% true or anything.  But it seems plausible.

[Legend]

Actually, I'd go as far is to say that just about everything starts with intent (maybe everything, I can't seem to prove that theory to myself yet).  the physical is kind'a like a manifestation of the intent.

The soul and the parents all agree ahead of time.  Life begins with Intent, not conception.

[Legend]

).  As someone already mentionned, we choose a bunch of things besides the parents.  Since we're here to experience, our higher self doesn't care about pain and the suches.  It's kind'a like having a goal of winning a gold medal in boxing and knowing that you will have to stumble through a few KOs and serious bruises on the way.  You will typically choose souls which you have already had experiences (or currently have).  I don't know if it makes a difference or not, but given that we do this, I woudl expect that it would make a difference.  (Maybe we don't want too many ties; almost seems silly as an idea)

Neutrino, that story is fascinating. It must have been an amazing experience for you.

I have never believed that we chose life, much less chose our parents. There are just too many abortions, too many complications, too many blatantly unplanned things that blow that theory to pieces. My sentiments have always been more acerbic than Tyciol's.

However, in the past few months I've been seeing life more in terms of general continuity than as discrete existence. "Life," is too general and imprecise a word to describe our existence. We often live different lives at once - a life as a spouse, a life as a coworker, a life as a parent, a life as a friend, etc. And we live different lives successively within the same lifetime - a life as a child, a life as a student, a life with this partner, a life with another partner, a life in this job, a life in that job, a life in this city, a life in that city, etc. Now lives are even more numerous and diverse - a life on the computer, a life on the internet, a life in forums, a gaming life, etc. Join all that with what we come to this forum to talk about - a spiritual life, a dream life, an inner life, a solitary life, etc. With the view that lives are everywhere for your choosing, choosing life doesn't sound so absurd.

So what about parents? Choosing parents can be almost as multitudinous, when looking at choosing your relationship with your parents. How would you treat those two people - protectors, teachers, guides, friends, abusers, dictators, despots, idiots, weakliings, children, invalids, healthy, admirable, glorious, amazing, sad, pitiable, etc. I sometimes think there's room for all parents to be in these categories and more. In that way, I don't think it's a big deal whether not we choose our parents. Not only are they all human, but we all end up leaving them anyways, and they always end up leaving us.

Nonetheless, I'll always think of that story, neutrino. Thank you for sharing it.

[Tyciol]

Being that the world's population is ever-growing... either new souls are being created all the time... or there were a hell of a lot floating around doing nothing for a loooong time, and there still are.

[Legend]

Of course that assumes that all souls can only be incarnated on Earth and that all souls are only human.

Being that the world's population is ever-growing... either new souls are being created all the time... or there were a hell of a lot floating around doing nothing for a loooong time, and there still are.

[Tyciol]

Duh.

Even so, that would mean that for every increase in population here, on some other plane or planet you have an existence being wiped out. Otherwise my theory of souls created or in stasis stands.

[Legend]

So you also assume that you cannot split anything either?  OBE is about splitting the mind.  Having 2 awarenesses.  You have your physical body and your astral body (2 minds so to speak).  For people's culture, Jesus and Mary were the same soul =).

Duh.

Even so, that would mean that for every increase in population here, on some other plane or planet you have an existence being wiped out. Otherwise my theory of souls created or in stasis stands.

[markulous]

And remember our spirit guides are spirits just like us except they aren't in the physical.  So they aren't sitting around doing nothing.  Who knows what else there is to do.  I doubt if your a soul and your not in the physical your in some type of purgatory and just floating there being bored out of your mind.

[Nay]

Do y'all think you MIGHT be thinking too much into it?  Sometimes I find when I'm focused like that, I have to remember...well...I might be too focused!..make sense?

Nay

[Tayesin]

Prior to this experience I hadn't really questioned the idea that we choose our parents, but now I wonder why a soul wishing to incarnate would put itself through such an experience? Surely it must realise it wouldn't be wanted? Or do souls not enter the body until later on in the pregnancy?

Hi Neutrino,
Haven't read any of the responses you got to this, so forgive me if it has already been said.

I find your experience to not invalidate the concept of Souls choosing the parents of their next incarnation.

It's highly probable that the being who had chosen you to conceive it's form had an arrangement/contract with you (the Soul you are) to provide this exact experience..  which allowed you to make your own choices, either way.

You could have chosen to do the opposite, or exactly what you did choose..  in the end, it was all included in the pre-arranged contracts.

The Soul who had this arrangement with you may have needed this experience to fulfill some other arrangement with you or others.

And, you'll get no value judgement from me about the choices made..  it's all valid Experience.

[neutrino]

Thanks everyone for the replies. It'll take some time for me to gain clarity on this one, but there's much food for thought here  

[Frank]

Markulous:

I haven't read the book but where you say, "... she explains that you choose the path of your life beforehand ... You could be doing because ... you want to experience that emotion" this is essentially correct.

Naturally, I am not saying everything given in the book must also be correct (could have just been a lucky guess). But for anyone looking for a definitive answer, we absolutely do choose our parents beforehand. I say this from having hands-on experience of the process (used to be one of my pet exploration topics).

Yours,
Frank

[Telos]

Frank, I hope that someday you will share your stories of this hands on experience. Will it be in the book you're planning to write?

[Frank]

Telos:

Thank you for your interest.

My first book primarily concentrates on beginner issues and gives them a grounding in the basics of my work. It is a very practical guide that is designed to teach people the structure of our non-physical system, i.e. I give them a map of the place, and teach them how to begin exploring it, in exactly the same way as I do.

The second book will be all about navigation and visiting other physical realities within our system. I also intend fitting in information on topics such as rescue work, plus whatever else I feel will be helpful to people at an intermediate level of knowledge.

Problem is, people have to get some first-hand experience of the wider non-physical reality first, before they can begin to comprehend some of the more specialised topics such as (speaking in ordinary physical terms) birth and death.

There are a number of variations of each and something tells me this would fill a book in itself. My prime concern is, if a person does not have the necessary grounding, they tend just to reject these more specialist topics outright. But if they have a hands-on grasp of the basics, it makes their comprehension much easier.

Yours,
Frank

[Telos]

Frank, I think I understand what you mean by grasping the basics and comprehension.

Is it like having to know mathematics before fully grasping principles of the physical universe?

It'd be great if we could reduce learning astral projection to a simple math, as if one had to just think of an equation (a relationship between variables) in order to meditate and exit. The idea of "astral math" excites me to no end...

[Nay]

It'd be great if we could reduce learning astral projection to a simple math, as if one had to just think of an equation (a relationship between variables) in order to meditate and exit. The idea of "astral math" excites me to no end...

Noooooooooooo....my greatest fear, MATH!!!!  Please say it isn't so, I suck at math.  Why oh why can't AP be simple like it use to?  Get up, look in mirror, see nothing, look over to your body in bed, realize you're projecting!  What a novelity.

Nay