Use of the Eyes

[AstralWalker]

Greetings All,

Not totally sure where to post this.

I've know and have meet people that will hardy ever look someone in the eyes, or will only look you in the eyes for a very short period of time.  

Are these people just quirky, or are they hiding or avoiding something?  Does looking someone in the eyes have anything to do with anything?

Thanks,
AstralWalker

[Leventis]

I was thinking about eye contact to the other day.  I will just post my opinion and nothing else.  I believe that sometimes is because people are shy.  Other times they might feel humble towards the other person.  They might have certain insecurities about themselves.  (When I meditate I tend to look people in the eyes more often.. I dunno why)  Sometimes it could be as you said to avoid a situation or a person....Some people have way to many things in their heads and they barley even listen to you imagine looking at you.  Some studies have shown that women look more into the eyes than men do.  I can't verify this because I have no data to see for my-self just something I read in a magazine a long time ago.

I hope these help.

[Naiad780]

That's a hard question to give a simple answer to.

In my experience, people often can't look you in the eye when they lie.  HOWEVER, this doesn't mean that people are lying every time this happens.

I have a friend who is very shy and has low self-esteem and could never look people in the eye for long.  She joined the Peace Corps and was stationed in a small African town where it is considered rude to look people in the eye.  She fit in very well.

[the_dole]

I can only speak of my own experience as one of the ones who have a hard time making eye contact.

In my case its most definitely a case of low self esteem.  I can't hold the eye contact with anyone (except my spouse of course) for more then a second or two without feeling intrusive.  Its kind of like a feeling of not being worthy.  But while avoiding the eye contact i also feel very self aware of that fact and get a feeling the other person must think I'm hiding something.  So its most definitely something I'm working on and trying to rid myself of... Problem is its such a well established part of me its not something that's changed easily.

[Psan]

the_dole,
I'll tell you a trick if you want to get rid of it. Just pretend that you are an actor, and the director has told you to look straight into one's eyes and talk two sentences at least. Keep it light and non-serious.

Effectively lying is a social skill, necessary for human survival. Deceit is something everyone practices including apes. It evolved as a survival strategy and provides evolutionary advantage. Lying for fun or to cause harm is considered immoral, which gives rise to a feeling of guilt, shame and fear, it is this feeling we try to hide by avoiding eye-contact.

Good liars can lie and still make eye-contacts while doing it, they have somehow suppressed the fear and guilt associated with it. They take it as humor and dont get involved in it internally.

There are some liars who believe their lies are truth so strongly, that they themselves dont know they are lying. (Check the prophecies and communications forum if you doubt me ). They dont have problems of low-esteem or eye-contact at all.

But there are other reasons to avoid eye-contact. Some cultures find it rude to do so with elders, strangers, women and high ranking people. Sometimes if one avoids it too much, just assume he is not interested in you and finds you boring (Happens with me all the time). Or you are incredibly ugly

[Silver Incubus]

I find that if I look into people's eyes while talking to them, well for too long, I become very empathetic and in a way, i see the emotion displayed in their eyes. But maybe im just imagining that. When I look at my gf in the eyes, it is so intense, but I like it like that  

[Kazbadan]

I love to look into the eyes of someone that i like (women ).

Its really nice to see how they react to you eye contact, just dont gaze (gaze or daze? oh my english...) to much in their eyes or you will look freeky. Move your eyebrows and your lips in order to be more seductive and do not look like a freaky....you will be surprised with their reactions.


In a bar or something (or in the street when you pass by a girl) try too flirt with her. BUT never be the first loosing eye contact, in that way you will be the winner (ya its crazy but i like this simple games...funny).

[Nostic]

Eyes make me wary. There's more knowledge there than in any other part of the external physical body. So often in this world people put on a mask when they communicate with you. Because I'm so neurotic, I'm always wondering, what are people really thinking?
Eyes can also make me very squeamish, because they are so fragile, sensitive, and exposed.

[Kazbadan]

Do you wanna know what others are thinking about? Be agressive (speaking about gestual comunication...not kicking and punching).

Be agressive, disarm the other make her feel insecure and she will open to you  

[Astir]

I try to as often as possible, but because I am a bit deaf I find myself having to stare into peoples mouths so that I may read their lips. Most people think that I'm being rude, and if they facially express this to me I explain myself.
But in a quiet setting yes, I look rather deeply into people's eyes. Eyes never intimidate me, though I am fairly shy in person.

[rave_master_naruto]

DELETED

[AndrewTheSinger]

don't look in the eyes of a big angry dog.