Help! What is going on and why?

[AnnaSeeking]

Sat Nam.

Hello, sorry this is my first post but I really need help.

I have been raped by members of a remote energy sharing group I am involved with by not normal means. By this I mean, they can control my bodily actions and influence my mind. I cannot understand why they would put me through this. What kind of group am I dealing with? Also, I can't just leave because I am ... well, I can't. The day the remote influenced rape occurred I saw a vision of a yantra for Tantric Initiation. Can someone please help me? I cannot feel anymore; I am numb. And angry.  I have been trying to get help for days to deal with it but all I am told is to move on with my life and not let it get in the way of living my life as I continue to be trained.

This sounds nuts I know. I am confused and cannot fathom why they would do this.  Can someone help me make sense of what is going on and what I am involved with? They toy around with me when I ask what path I am on. If you prefer to talk to me via PM, that is okay.

Namaste,
Anna

[AnnaSeeking]

They have said they would kill me or cause insanity and a life of rape in an institution if I left them.  I do not know if I can leave at this point. I don't want my life filled with this crap.  They have all belief of a High Power smashed to bits--at least, any God and Goddess that has any light. I feel really changed inside.

What kind of help do I seek? Honestly, I do not know what a situation like this would require. They have me karmically attached to them, and in other ways. Up until that incident mentioned in my first post, they said they loved me and showed it telempathically with me, and I sent mine back. Now they are cold and distant but still observing and watching me.


It should be noted though that this group has been with me since I was 15 (1989) waiting for me to be 'ready'. (It is astral in nature). I became 'ready' in 2004. Also my father is involved in a similar group which we do not discuss or even acknowledge to each other. But we know, my father and I.  It's complicated, and dangerous. I can't believe I am brave enough to even post about this to get help and understand what is going on, and try to figure out what it is they want. I have done research, and it is like they are trying to make a Scarlet Woman out of me. (Refer to Thelema and Crowley).

Namaste,
Anna

[AnnaSeeking]

I am being trained for a magickal group. I am not familiar with the methods these groups use for the such individuals as I find out what I need to know when I need to know it. Sometimes I get punished if I do not listen or read too much of a subject when I am told to stop.

I contacted Nita. She helped me some with this in 2004. I must admit I had a feeling something was wrong and/or a sense of dread when I contacted her. Like I made a mistake in telling her. I'm just trying to figure out what is happening, why they turned violent like that, and why I am here with them. I feel like a silly fool writing all this and may be making a huge mistake. All I know is that each word I type makes me feel more and more empty and alone.  

Namaste,
Lea Ann

[Sharpe]

you have been raped? like physically? for over 15 years?

[Nay]

May I ask the average age of this....group?  Seems like a very easy decision to me.  If you don't like being there, leave.

What's that old saying??.....tinkle or get off the pot.

[AnnaSeeking]

Anyone who understands k awakening knows how confusing it can be. Just read about Gopi Krishna's experience. Tie it in with everything else and you're bound to get perplexed by the mysteries She creates.

As for tinkling, I like it just fine.  

Situation has been resolved.

Thanks, runlola.

~ Anna

[WindGod]

is there an Alexander "Alick" Crowley hell world?

Seems that he should be frying in his own juices for all the harm and confusion caused.

please correct me if my attitude about this is flawed.

[Sentinal]

The first thing is to calm down.

You are looking to outside sources for what you need to find in yourself. Fear of them gives them power, as does belief in them. You have the ability to take it away and walk away.

You need to recognize the things and reasons that cause you to react and be on gaurd for someone attempting to use them. You have a path into your mind that starts with your father. You felt helpless to deal with him in the past and someone else is using that pathway now. You need to recognize that and take it away from them.

You should break all contact with them regaurdless of what you fear they may do. If there are provable crimes report it to the police. Their power is not as formidable as you think and there are things you can do to protect yourself. The first step is to make the decision to do so.