Trapped!

[knightlight]

I was trapped in a state of sleep paralysis for about 30 minutes today.  It all started with me waking up to hands on me.  This isnt anything new by any means but these hands where different.  I had been searching for the source of the hands I had experienced in the past and who the hands came from.  Today I found out the gender of the hands and they where different.  I awoke and my hands where held tightly by a pair of warm clenched hands.  Clenched in a way that was insistant, if I let go they searched for my hands and clutched them close.  In past experience the hands where always cold and dead, never moving.  These hands had a mind of their own, they where attached to an invisible female form.  I knew they where the same by the feel and the vibe of them, but the presence was awake and in my face so to speak.  I found out the gender by relocating the hands breifly and feeling about, I landed in the forms crotch with my hand and needless to say it wasnt hard to figure out what gender the inviso-woman was.  I struggled to awaken as the hands where creeping me out, clutching at me and not letting me go for more than a second. 

My body from the neck down was free but when I tried to move my head my whole body would freeze and reality would begin to warp around me.  I saw a reddish grey form of a baby floating closer to me during one of these episodes as well as a feather (attached to some animal, but I couldnt move my head far enough to one side to see the rest of it)  that would move and a voice that came from the animal that would say "I won!  I win!"  When I wasnt trying to break the paralysis I would slip into a strange dream area, sometimes I would be lucid sometimes I wouldnt be.  When I was lucid I searched willy nilly for anything entertaining.  When I wasnt lucid... well... I just went along with whatever.

After struggling with this state for about 25 minutes I thought I woke up.  Of course I hadnt, and when I moved my arms I couldnt see them moving.  My ghost arms felt real, I put my palm on my forehead and rubbed it in frusturation and stuck one of my fingers in my mouth.  I felt my body and tried to move but only my arms would move....  I struggled hard this time, trying to pry my head up and wake up finally.  A rush of astral sounds and images came at me and then suddenly I was awake. 

[mjolnir_knight]

Are you sure that it was that long?  From what I have read, the worst cases of sleep paralysis last only as long as ten minutes.  Even I, who have had at least a dozen sleep paralysis sessions, have only experienced, at most, five minutes of sleep paralysis.

[knightlight]

Ok well I went in and out of the SP state and projected a few times during this experience.  I just kept coming back to the paralysis state every time.  The entire experience lasted about 30 minutes but I was probably only paralyzed for about 10 or 15... it sure felt like a long time though! 

[filipcza]

Psychic attack is what that seems to have been. And that sounds like the "gray lady" or something like that..I can't remember the exact name for it..but these kind of attacks are documented throughout the history and are maybe the most usual form of nightly attack.

I would start to protect myself with prayers and light shields before sleeping. The next time this kind of attack happens, say the "bellilin"-conjuration. It will drive the entity away. You will find this conjuration with search-function, it has been discussed here many times.

[knightlight]

Well I see what you are getting at.  I dont think it is the "grey lady"... I am assuming you are talking about the old hag syndrome.  This is FAR different.  This is something clinging to me out of desperation, more of an emotional need.  If you are refering to succubus then I also disagree.  No sexual stimulation occured.  I think of it in the way of waking up to your boyfriend or girlfriend clutching at you, like a need to feel secure or feel your presence.  I felt desperation and sorrow from this person.  I think it may be a telepathic bond with someone who feels strongly about me subconsiously (or consiously...) and is reaching out mentally.

[filipcza]

Yes, I thought it might be that old hag -thingy, but if you don't feel it as an attack, then it's probably not.

Could it be an old girlfriend who is still clinging to you? Or maybe a secret crush..

-Pete

[knightlight]

I think those are 2 distinct possibilities, yes.  I hope I can figure it out some day but who knows if I ever will.