Self control and its side-effects

[Psan]

Most of the people here perhaps know the importance of self control, especially in relation to AP. When you can easily lose control of your emotions during an AP, it ends very soon, within a second usually, or turns into a dream or pure nonsense. To take full advantage of an AP and to make it last longer, emotions need to be tamed. It is a very difficult task and the fact that emotions are amplified many times during an AP makes this task very difficult.
The only way is through practice and discipline, not only during AP but also in normal waking hours. I must say that the benefits of a mind that's in your full control are enormous. The stability of your AP is only a tiny side effect of it.

In my view, self control is not a total annihilation of emotions (as seen in Mr Spock in Star Trek), rather it is an ability to raise your consciousness above the natural day-to-day mental states and see clearly the play of emotions and feelings in your mind, delay them, kill them or call them at your command. It is an ability to become a master of your own self and get rid of instinctive, impulsive and hard wired pre-programmed behavior.
I've been practicing self control and the results are satisfactory so far, though I'm not a master by any measures. Anger, hatred, greed, lust, sorrow etc don't affect me so much as they used to. Similarly, I'm not overdriven by joy, excitement, self-pride, success, curiosity etc. I practice the methods of -

-meditation,
-clearing the mind many times a day
-silence
-removing the negative stuff that surrounds me, like newpapers, TV, violent and vulgar movies, games
-avoiding negative, irritating or immature people (including children and relatives)
-reminding to myself whenever I'm about to enter a weak moment and about to surrender to emotions
-playing the "observer"
-keeping a count of impulses
-re-programming
-forgiving and forgetting
-delaying the emotions (most effective method)
-studying the psychology of emotions and their evolutionary origins
-studying the effects and purposes of emotions
-voluntarily calling an emotion and experimenting on it

Well there are so many ways. If anybody wants me to explain any of the above in detail, please ask.

It changes you totally, so be warned. You may or may not like it. Common people around you will not like it. Do it only if you are sure of it. But there is nothing to worry, because giving up these practices brings you back to "normal" life very soon. It causes a lot of unusual side-effects and weired situations. I'm listing some of them from my experience -

-It is easy initially, but more you control yourself, harder it becomes, until you cross some threshold, where is seems easy again
-Emotions will fight back, and will attack you with double strength (especially true for impulses, OCD or dieting etc)
-As soon as you realize how deep in dirt you are, you may break down. But it is a temporary phase.
-People may start disliking you, as you don't "play" with them. Loved one's may feel that they are losing you.
-These people will make your life even more difficult. All delicate equations are breaking.
-Nature seems to be testing you, mostly against you. This is actually helpful.
-Emotions may try to kill you.... (just kidding  )
-As the wiring of emotions starts breaking in your brain, it may induce strange reactions, e.g you may feel like laughing when you are actually sad or you may become angry instead of becoming ashamed of something.
-Periods of mental peace and calm and control are followed by intense violence of emotions. So repressing them totally or fully is not recommended. It must be slow and gradual.
-Your dreams vomit a lot of emotions.
-Better control brings "blank emotions" or "blank impulses". These are moments where you should be feeling an emotion and your body and mind are getting prepared for the action but nothing happens.
-Emotions may appear physically (sickness etc)
-When emotions are not entertained in consciousness, they take a back seat. They play out unconsciously without your knowing. These will be felt as "burns" at different places in your skin. The burns are just like the jealously burns, if you know what I mean. I get them mostly on my forearms or chest and I hate them (or do I really do )
-Your mind has turned to a plain grey from a full specturm of vivid colors. This is so much like depression and feels exactly so.
-Emotions are the forces that pull you into action. When these are subdued, you don't do much. You become lazy. But mostly you give up doing unnecessary things. It has advantages.
-There are many more strange things that may happen.

But slowly the good effects outweigh the unwanted ones. Hopefully they will be gone for me. If anyone here is more experienced in these matter please enlighten me. Thanks. 

[MisterJingo]

I guess I'm lucky in that I've always had good control over my emotions. This is not always a good thing though as many people see me as aloof or distant, or at the least as very laid back and blasé about many things.
Having control over emotions doesn't mean you don't feel emotions, it means feeling the physical effects of emotions but not following through with them on a mental level.
Great examples of this are when you are angry with someone; they've said something which makes the anger or annoyance rise in your chest. You now see you have two options. You can just passively observe the effects of anger on the body or you can bite into it and let that anger out (affecting you mentally). I should say that if you aware enough of the cause and effect of that emotion you will see the space between the mental reaction (outward manifestation of that emotion) and the physically felt reaction. You are the watcher, not the watched*.
I think emotions are intricately linked with hormones and our biology. So we will never get rid of them. Purposefully suppressing emotions so one does not feel them is quite a bad idea. You might get to a state where you don't feel emotions, but this is through suppression. The turmoil of the emotions will still be conflicting in your subconscious.
As with meditation, it's about passive awareness. Emotions are usually first felt in the body. Meditation teaches us that anything which disturbs the mental state should be observed passively and then let go of. This sees the emotion acknowledged and it consequently dissipates rather than is suppressed.
I guess to summarise, self control is the mental being aware (in the moment) of an emotion arising, and watching said emotion rather than letting it take control. Never suppress ever as suppression can cause many problems over time.


* The watcher and the watched is an anology of the mind. The mind likened to two birds sitting in the tree. One bird (the watched) is eating fruit, the other bird (the watcher) simply observes the watched all the time. Most people take the place of the watched. Not really being aware of their reactions and acting on a near impullsive level, but ideally one should take the place of the watcher. Observing each moment to moment action of the self and being aware of the self and the moment. This is the part which watches the emotion rise. The watched is the part which would instinctively let the emotion control them.

[GroovyGoddess]

Most of the people here perhaps know the importance of self control, especially in relation to AP. When you can easily lose control of your emotions during an AP, it ends very soon, within a second usually, or turns into a dream or pure nonsense. To take full advantage of an AP and to make it last longer, emotions need to be tamed. It is a very difficult task and the fact that emotions are amplified many times during an AP makes this task very difficult.
The only way is through practice and discipline, not only during AP but also in normal waking hours. I must say that the benefits of a mind that's in your full control are enormous. The stability of your AP is only a tiny side effect of it.

In my view, self control is not a total annihilation of emotions (as seen in Mr Spock in Star Trek), rather it is an ability to raise your consciousness above the natural day-to-day mental states and see clearly the play of emotions and feelings in your mind, delay them, kill them or call them at your command. It is an ability to become a master of your own self and get rid of instinctive, impulsive and hard wired pre-programmed behavior.
I've been practicing self control and the results are satisfactory so far, though I'm not a master by any measures. Anger, hatred, greed, lust, sorrow etc don't affect me so much as they used to. Similarly, I'm not overdriven by joy, excitement, self-pride, success, curiosity etc. I practice the methods of -

What you are describing seems to be what has been happening to me. And all this time I thought it was a really bad thing. I've noticed that ever since my first series of OBE's I don't respond to the world in the same way anymore. I have great difficulty responding or getting emotional over anything. I do feel fear occasionally, but I have great difficulty feeling anger, hatred, sorrow, joy or excitement. It is as if life has gone all gray. This feeling of no desire is great in meditation because I can meditate without a purpose. Yet I have no desire to meditate either...lol

[Mydral]

What you are describing seems to be what has been happening to me. And all this time I thought it was a really bad thing. I've noticed that ever since my first series of OBE's I don't respond to the world in the same way anymore. I have great difficulty responding or getting emotional over anything. I do feel fear occasionally, but I have great difficulty feeling anger, hatred, sorrow, joy or excitement. It is as if life has gone all gray. This feeling of no desire is great in meditation because I can meditate without a purpose. Yet I have no desire to meditate either...lol

Uhm what your describing is a bad thing in my opinion. Self Control does not mean shutting down ones emotions, its how you act towards them. Granted its alright shutting down anger and hatred to some extend, but all other emotions have to stay. If you can't feel any more joy or sorrow its not good.
In normal waking hours you require emotions or else existing like you said "is gray".
So again, Self Control does not mean killing emotions, it means controlling them.

By your own words whats happening to you and whats happening to the others is a different thing.

[BadCookie]

What was the point of being a human, with out the human body you cant learn emotions thay are only chemical Reactions in your head totaly natural and part of the matrix we live in lolz. Emotions enrich are lives love,pasion,extasy,sadness,ex... they are all illusions to make the expression of councsunus enjoyable (and that an emotion) 

I dont ever want to force my self to control my emotions, i woudnt of bin a human if i didnt want to feel them.

                                                                                                  With love BadCookie