Translating a new OBE book. How well is it?

[MikeMk]

An USA translator is translating my OBE/lucid book to English. But my English is not good so I do not know how well he does it. Can somebody help me to know quality of translation for English/American people?

Small qute:

THE CONCEPT OF INDIRECT TECHNIQUES

  One should start one's practice from what is easiest and most accessible, in this case, indirect techniques. That is, techniques that are performed upon awakening from a dream. Most people incorrectly assume that they are not the best techniques, and prefer to start with directly entering the phase. However, the result is that a large amount of time and effort are spent, with results being far from guaranteed. If one wants a guarantee that one will experience the out-of-body state, then it is better to start right here.
  A specific universal technique that is right for everybody does not exist. That would be impossible due to the individual particularities of each person. However, there is a relatively easy and simple universal algorithm (procedure) that singles out of the characteristics of each person and allows them to use the most rational, and that means the most effective, way. It involves cycles of indirect techniques, which we will concentrate on in this section. They are suitable for all without exception, although with varying degrees of difficulty.
  Results can be expected immediately after one's very first attempts. In order to achieve results, one needs to make about 5 full-fledged attempts on average, and one may undertake even more than 5 attempts in the course of a single day. Meanwhile, one should take into account that there is nothing difficult or hard to understand about performing them. These are totally clear and easy to understand things that concern real internal processes that people undergo. At the school's live classes, it is mainly thanks to indirect techniques that half of the group often attains the desired result in only a couple of days. It must also be remembered that indirect techniques can lead to one becoming conscious while dreaming, for which one should always be ready, as this is also one of the techniques for entering the phase.
Interesting Fact!
  Many experienced practitioners prefer not to waste unnecessary effort on direct techniques, and easily and simply obtain skills only through the help of indirect techniques.
  In order to ensure the most fruitful efforts, we are going to examine each step and principle behind the actions individually in great detail. Let us start from a description of the techniques themselves, which actually applies practically just as much to direct techniques as to indirect techniques; they only differ in character and length of application. There will be plenty of techniques, and the practitioner should be able to choose 3 to 4 of the most straightforward and effective ones after having practiced them, and then employ them at the right time.
  Separation techniques will be examined later. They are completely different than usual techniques, which only bring one into the phase, but do not necessarily themselves lead to separation from the body. It is often also necessary to know how to leave the physical perception afterwards.
  Then again, it is necessary to understand when is best to employ these techniques, and how important it is to come to without moving upon reawakening.  In addition, it will be necessary to learn to think about attempts to enter the phase immediately upon awakening, i.e. consciously wake up, which is practically always the main barrier to successful practice.
  And only after all this, having completely covered all of the background information, shall we proceed to directly examining cycles of indirect techniques, including what exactly there are, and how exactly to work with them. It is namely in performing them that results are to be found. However, there are exceptions, and it is not completely necessary to proceed these cycles if one's own mind somehow hints what exactly one should start from, which we will also examine separately. In conclusion, it will be necessary to understand when one needs to be aggressive, and when one needs to be passive in order to more easily stay in the intermediate stage of consciousness.

[CFTraveler]

It's clear enough, but doesn't really say anything.
So what are the indirect techniques?

[MikeMk]

thanks for replay
After all translation he will do correction. And befor publication will be another correction so I hope it will be without big mistakes...

indirect - techniques after awakening from sleep. They are realy easy to reach OBE/lucid(for me it is the same - that's reason for great discussion, but not now and here)

That's just a way to separate techniques.
Here another quote from translation:

Direct techniques are techniques that are performed without any noticeable lapse in conscious awareness when practiced. However, lapses into sleep lasting no longer than 5 minutes are allowable.   That is, one lies down and performs specific actions for a specific interval of time. As a result, one falls directly into the phase without passing through any intermediary states. For 90% of the population, these techniques are the most difficult, as the mind is often initially in an excessively active state. It has been clearly proven with the School's students that it is a great mistake to begin one's practice with these very techniques. As a result, it is possible to not only not get any result, but also to thus miss a chance to find out that this phenomenon really exists. The incorrect notion that the phase state is extremely difficult is in large part due to the fact that people are more often drawn to these difficult techniques. It is better to approach them after having mastered indirect techniques.
  Indirect techniques are techniques that are put into practice upon awakening from sleep. This is, one needs first get some sleep before using them. However, one should not have slept for long, and certainly not through the entire night. Actually, indirect techniques can be used after a night's sleep, after a daytime nap, after sleeping for several hours, or for half an hour, or even for shorter periods of time. The most important thing is that there is a lapse of consciousness into sleep before implementing the techniques. These techniques are most simple and straightforward, which is why, for most people, practice is often built up using them. The main reason for their relative effectiveness in comparison with direct techniques lies in the fact that sleep is very effective at relaxing the mind, preparing it for such unusual experiments. It is extremely difficult to relax oneself to such an extent on one's own. It is especially worthwhile to start beginners off with indirect techniques, so that they can find out more quickly whether or not such out-of-body experiences really exist.
  Becoming conscious while dreaming is a technique that allows one to fall into the phase through lucid dreaming. In this case, the phase begins when the awareness that one is dreaming occurs during the dream itself. There are also several variations of this action, including returning to the body and rolling out of it. With the help of intensifying techniques, sense perceptions of the world around can exceed those of day-to-day life. These techniques are usually classified under headings separate from out-of-body travel, but from practice it is easy to observe that the characteristics of these states and the worlds in them are identical, and so all of this is phase. These practices are difficult inasmuch as, unlike other techniques, they do not involve specific actions that bring instantaneous results. These techniques must be practiced well in advance and can take up a lot of time without guaranteed effect. However, they are not as difficult as the direct techniques. Moreover, as an additional result of attempts at direct and indirect techniques, practically every practitioner starts to regularly become aware during dreams spontaneously.
  In addition to the techniques described above, there are also non-autonomous means and other tools. That is, there are various devices, programs, external influences, etc. However, it is necessary to understand that they are good only for those who are also able to enter the phase without them. In other cases, they merely bring accidental, singular results.

[MikeMk]

oops...
one of my friends from Sydney say that translation looks like it's done by not native American...
That's really so?

[CFTraveler]

They are correct.  The idiomatic expressions, although not incorrect, are not 'natural'.  A phrase like "the phase begins when the awareness that one is dreaming occurs during the dream itself." sounds contrived.  I would first ask, what do you mean by phase?  Do you mean stage, step, state, one of many directions?  If it does mean stage, I'd substitute phase for stage, because the word 'phase' implies some sort of geometric relationship and in this specific forum it is a technique in use already that has it's own meaning.  To continue, "the awareness that one is dreaming" could be substituted by 'lucidity'- in other words, it's perfectly correct, but not 'at ease' enough- lots of words to explain something simple.
As a bilingual person, I understand how difficult it is to translate something correctly and not sound 'strange'. However, it's not a bad translation- it just seems to go on and on and never end- like this post.   

[MikeMk]

They are correct.

You mean my friends who think translator is not native?

Except "phase" and "the awareness that one is dreaming" is there another problem?

[MikeMk]

problem is solved
he is native

this text seample without edition

[CFTraveler]

You mean my friends who think translator is not native?

translation looks like it's done by not native American..

Yep.