Newbie making progress - seeks some advice

[apsinvo]

Dear all,

I am new here just making my first post. I hope I have posted this in the right place, if not please do feel free to move. I will detail my current progress and experience and see if anyone can assist or help answer any of my questions. TIA

Some 5 years ago, I was reading various self hypnosis, meditation etc techniques out of curiosity and deep interest. After lots of wasted time and money, I struck on a simple technique. In bed - Essentially, lie back flat and relax. In your mind's eye - "As I count from 10 down to 1, every single part of my body will become really relaxed.". Breathing slowly and deeply, slowly count from 10 to 1, deeply feeling the muscle relaxation on every number. Then, "As I count from 10 down to 1, every single part of my body will become really heavy.". Same as above, except that you should be deeply feeling the heavyness and inability to move on each count. Lastly, "As I count from 10 down to 1, every single part of my body will feel really warm and comfortable.". Visualizing a wonderful warm place and feeling very comfortable, count slowly from 10 down to 1 again, really experiencing the visualization on each exhale. I think there was some science behind this to do with the process that the body automatically goes through towards sleep.

Suffice to say, that somewhere on the 3rd and final count from 10 to 1, I suddenly and very frighteningly felt a "switch" [in consciousness?] and complete paralysis which instantly caused a huge wave of fear, and I jumped up. As this was the most interesting and curious thing I had come across - After several years of on and off practising and messing around, I overcame that fear, and can now get to that state most of the time at will. Probably on every 4 out of 5 attempts. When I can't do it, it seems to correlate well that I'm usually stressed, frustrated, have something on my mind, or have had any stimulant ie caffeine. Now I can usually between the final 10 and 1 hit the state, at which point finishing the counting to 1 will slightly deepen the state. Something just 'switches' and my body is very numb and vague. I notice that this state is sometimes deeper than others. I don't have any idea as to how to deepen it when I'm there, some days it just does, others it doesnt. I have tried recounting again from scratch, but I usually just get frustrated/itchy/restless and give up at that point. Sometimes just 'pushing' the sensation deeper helps although not reliably.

#1. Is this the 'mind awake/body asleep'? If not, what is it?
#2. Is this Monroe's 'focus 10'
#3. How to deepen or lighten it?
#4. Is a deeper focus 10 automatically an "Expanded awareness" (Monroe's focus 12)? This brings me onto my next experience..

Sometimes once I've got to some of the deeper states detailed above, i.e. my body is even more numb and asleep, I then notice another instant "switch" - this one I don't know how to induce, it only ever just "happens" or in some cases just doesn't. My 'awareness' switches from inside my head to slightly outside of it with a slightly expanded perspective. Sometimes this is very subtle, sometimes it can be larger, i.e. the size of the room or a little higher. I also have no idea how to deepen or lighten this.

#1. Is this monroe's focus 12?
#2. How to deepen or lighten it?
#3. Is this the right path that I'm on and steps that I'm taking?

Now at this point, I'm stuck. I can lie there experiencing this for some time, but eventually I just get bored, summon up enough energy to move, and turn over to fall asleep. What next? I've tried everything I can think of. The rope technique, energy/chakra visualizations, attempting to 'shift' again into a 3rd state, visualizing rolling over, and all the rest of it. Nothing happens. I just lie in this state of what I'm guessing is the expanded awareness state.

Now I'm referring to Monroe's focus levels because I'm using the gateway experience CDs at the moment. For anyone familiar with them, based on the above, I think I've linked the focus levels to some of my previous accidental experiences and I really hope that I've tied this up right. I've worked through the Wave 1 and 2 CDs and just started the 3rd. Towards the end of CD 2 and the first two parts on CD 3, the most recent of which involved taking you and your energy balloon and bringing it up and down. Absolutely nothing happened, as with most of the visualizations that he has taken me through now in this state. I lay there in the mind awake/body asleep state and just visualized it with nothing further happening. I'm useless with imagination and visualizations. Am I supposed to be deeply immersed in some kind of visualization? If so, how? Am I not in the right state to be starting the visualizations? Maybe I never got the focus 10?

In the last week I've had some interesting new experience(s?). Whilst on Monroe's Wave I and II, on several occasions, I (might?) have achieved some 'switch' to that 3rd state. I think I might possibly have just fallen asleep though. I recall remaining awake although my mind has drifted off somewhere. It seems to feel like a few minutes at a time although I think it's only really seconds. It just seems to me to be some kind of dream visualizations, and on 2 or 3 occasions, I've had a few isolated bursts of strong imagery, just weird dream stuff that didn't really mean anything to me. After a session, I got that general sleep/groggy feeling identical to the one you get when you wake up after you dozed off for a minute - not a very pleasant feeling. I then just feel a bit funny/tired for a few minutes. Is this something of interest, or am I just dozing off for a few moments because I'm tired?

Anyway, this is about as far as I've got. Not really sure what kind of progress I'm making. I feel sometimes that I might almost be there, but at other times completely stuck!

Any help would certainly be much appreciated
Thank you!
Adam

[Xanth]

Hy apsinvo!  Welcome to the Astral Pulse.

Let me answer your first four questions with this link: http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_permanent_astral_topics/focus_10_mind_awakebody_asleep-t24783.0.html
That single article written by Fred (from Explorations in Consciousness) ended all my questioning and wondering about the Focus 10 state I thought I was experiencing.  I highly suggest it. 

I also think he touches on Focus 12 in there as well.
It's a long read, but one that is well worth it as it'll give you much insight on what you're experiencing. 

[akashicpulse]

I remember feeling the way you described in my past sucsessfull phases, however I lost my motivation and will to project for awhile, I'm trying to get back to that I miss the real reality this society is trying to conform everyone to not believe in the ability and definition of their existence.