Your position on "Marriage"

[Xanth]

So I was listening to a local radio station (Q107 if you live in the area) and they were talking about celebrity marriages and went on to mention the % of people who still support the idea of Marriage.

Now, I don't remember offhand... but I do remember that more than HALF of the population do not support marriage anymore.
It was something like only 44% of people supported it.

So what's your opinion on the institution of "Marriage"?

Personally, I'm one of the 56% who oppose marriage.  I think it's an outdated idea who's time is waaaaaaay past.

[personalreality]

Me and my woman were talking about this the other day (at a wedding reenactment) and as far as we could figure, people seem to only get married for the tax breaks and whatnot.

Legally speaking I don't see a purpose besides giving "them" another way to screw you somehow.  Spiritually I'm all for a wedding.  It's a nice affirmation of your love.  It doesn't need to be a big thing though.  I like the party though, I think that's a good idea.

My question to you Ryan is are you only talking about marriage or are you alluding to something about monogamy?

[Xanth]

Me and my woman were talking about this the other day (at a wedding reenactment) and as far as we could figure, people seem to only get married for the tax breaks and whatnot.

The "tax breaks" are pretty much the only reason I can see to get married. 

My question to you Ryan is are you only talking about marriage or are you alluding to something about monogamy?

Not at all.  Just strictly talking about marriage here.

[Stookie]

It's a physical symbol of 2 people's eternal bond. The actual ritual itself should make an impact on the subconscious level too. I think it's sweet. Especially if you're planning a family.

Saying it's only good for tax reasons I see as a materialistic point of view. If you're getting married, it should be more than just a physical thing. I'm not saying everyone should, but I don't see it as pointless.

There are of course a lot of people that get married for the wrong reasons and it ends in divorce. Like for tax breaks. And if you don't believe in unconditional love and can't love someone else unconditionally, marriage won't work anyways.

[Mindfulness]

I was just recently married this summer.

For a long time I was opposed to marriage, settling down, having kids, and viewed the opposite sex as a dumb waste of time.  At some point recently all of this changed.  I think its when I saw my sister's kids and how cute they were.

I met a girl five years younger than me.  She's hot, has a good job, has a house and her own car.  She's independent, smart, and everything I would want in a partner.  Basically the female version of myself.  She compliments me nicely.  Soon after meeting she got pregnant and we got married.  We've been together now about ten months and I have a son on the way this January.

Marriage has several benefits that are monetary in nature.  Tax breaks, cheaper auto insurance, cheaper medical insurance, combined assets, easier to live as two than one once bills are paid, combined retirements, etc...

Marriage also has a lot of benefits that go beyond money.  Things like having someone to take care of you when you're sick.  The comfort of having a friend right next to you 24/7.  Someone to talk about problems with.  Someone to help you through rough patches like when a family member dies.  Someone to laugh with.  Someone to share responsibilities with like paying bills, cleaning, raising a child, etc...and when I say paying bills I don't mean the monetary side of it.   I mean the waste of time it is trying to manage and pay a dozen random bills per month all on different days.  It's nice having her do a lot of that, so that I can waste my time doing something more frivolous like playing tetris.

Overall, I think people should have the option to do whatever they want with their lives, weather that be marriage or single or whatever.  As long as it doesn't hurt anybody, I see no problems with it.

[personalreality]

Saying it's only good for tax reasons I see as a materialistic point of view. If you're getting married, it should be more than just a physical thing. I'm not saying everyone should, but I don't see it as pointless.

I was only referring to marriage in the eyes of the government.  I'm all for a wedding. 

[Xanth]

Especially if it's an open bar. 
Nothing like drinking on someone else's tab.

[Stookie]

Cheers to that!

[Stookie]

All I know is my mom and dad met in 6th grade and started "dating" then and dated all the way thru highschool went to prom together got married had three kids and are happily married today for 25 years and I know they will never divorce, so I know it is possible..

Yep, my parents got married as teens and I was lucky to grow up in a very loving family with a very tight bond. I feel lucky in that respect and the love and respect my parents have for each other is what I look for in a relationship. I know it's possible too.

[Naykid]

Yep, my parents got married as teens and I was lucky to grow up in a very loving family with a very tight bond. I feel lucky in that respect and the love and respect my parents have for each other is what I look for in a relationship. I know it's possible too.

That's my husband's family.  They were high school sweet hearts and never raised their voices.  My hubby claims he didn't know how to argue until he met my dysfunctional family.    I can laugh about that now..... 

I don't think people find too much sacred these days in general.  And I'm not surprised.

[Stookie]

I've dated a couple different girls who came from families that argued all the time, and it was really hard because they thought constant arguing in a relationship was normal. They would get so mad when they couldn't get me to yell. Even comments like "Don't you care?!". No, I don't care to argue with you about stupid stuff.

[Naykid]

It's tough to change the habit of yelling or just talking really loud with passion. hehe.  That is how my family communicated, by yelling at each other.  I'm glad that my children have seen an example of a good marriage.

[personalreality]

my parents didn't fight, just my mom lol.  she's a grouchy old grump.  i love her, but she just yells for no reason.  luckily i took my dad's example, which was to just listen and do what she asked.  and now i have a good relationship, because i know how to shut up, listen and do what my lady asks.  lol.

[CFTraveler]

I've been married longer than some of you have been alive...lol...so marriage has been good to me.   I learned from someone I know something that kind of stayed with me- he believed that marriage is only for people that are planning to have children.  He got married when his girlfriend of 20 years got pregnant, so it's obvious they were already "stable".
I think the idea of marriage from a social standpoint is so diverse that it really is about the culture you come from- it can be based on love, on security or on status, but really, I believe that most people I have met marry because of sex and that IMO is the wrong reason.
Is it sacred?  Only if you believe it is-IMO.
I am glad I am married to my husband, but if we ever got divorced I don't think I'd marry anyone else, ever- and I don't think anyone else would want to marry me, to tell the truth.  I'm not exactly 'a walk in the park'.

[personalreality]

good call CFT

[Firecracker]

I got married in June so I obviously believe in marriage 

I think its a wonderful way to bond you and the person that you love together... in a legal and spiritual way.

If you go in to a marriage thinking that you can just get divorced if it doesn't work out then you are not getting married for the right reasons.  I believe I will be with my husband for the rest of my life or I would not have married him.

[Xanth]

If you go in to a marriage thinking that you can just get divorced if it doesn't work out then you are not getting married for the right reasons.

That, there... is a wonderful point.
And I feel is a big reason there is so many divorces these days. 

[Everlasting]

Marriage has lost its charm now when you invite the government into your bed.

[Pauli2]

Well, in some European countries, people doesn't get married that much. But to protect the economically weaker part (person) in the relation, most countries have instituted laws which takes an effect similar to marriage if the couple lives together (same flat or house) for somewhere between 6-12 months.

So even if marriage is gone in some sense it has been substituted by something else, in terms of law.

Besides, I think CFTraveler must be an intriguing 'walk in the park'.

[personalreality]

we had that in the states.

it was called common law marriage.

they don't have it anymore in most states.

[Xanth]

we had that in the states.

it was called common law marriage.

they don't have it anymore in most states.

Really?  We have it here in Canada... and I'm common law-married now too. 

[personalreality]

i don't really know how many states don't have it anymore, but i know mine doesn't.

we did until we had a vote on gay marriage.  tucked inside the bill to ban gay marriage was the removal of common law marriage.  so when all the conservatives voted and the young people didn't, we lost common law marriage.