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My life feels cold...

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DASH Project

I currently feel very cold and very alone in my life, as my life feels dark, depressing and impersonal. I'm only taking one college class currently, though it is a demanding one - Computer Science 11: Intro to Video Game Design (my dream is to be a video game developer someday, and to have my own game studio, assuming the world doesn't end in 2012 and everything is taken away from me.) My teacher is gruff and cynical, my assignments are daunting, the lighting in the classroom is unnatural, the campus is all out in the middle of nowhere, miles from where I live, and I must take the bus out to class all alone, and wait over an hour, also all alone, before the bus going back is ready and I can go home.

I dunno why, but this class just seems to exude a cold and depressing vibe into my life currently, and I don't even know why! Of course I'll never quit this class because I'm determined to perfect my game designing skills, but gosh does it seem to "tint" my life a darker shade. In addition, I suffer from horrible delusions and paranoia about the world ending, which can be read here - [url]http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_2012_and_the_transition_of_the_ages/please_tell_me_its_all_gonna_be_okay-t33227.0.html[/url. Those paranoid delusions are ruining my life and making me feel even colder!

I pray for healing, I pray for warmth and understanding in this dark time in my life full of fear and uncertainty. I request spiritual assistance, somehow, in coping with this adversity. I really hope I said all this correctly.
I am a one-man religion. I follow my own path. I imagine and create my own gods and goddesses. I fight for them every day, for it gives me meaning...

I am a KYRDAN

spark

Hello there.  Sorry to hear how you feel.  Hang in there.  Life has all things.  Ups and downs.
School is a tough time too.  For me, I recently came to appreciate (finally, at 45 years old) that the so called bad times come with hidden rewards.  There are many wonders to life.  All you need to do is sit back and watch them.   Anyway, I also tend to think that it is very important to appreciate that we are small.  We do not know that which is supposed to be.  I believe that when one "assumes too much" (such as, e.g., deciding that the world will or may end) that one is essentially playing God.  Basically, there is no way to know.  And, even so, there is no way to know if it will be good or bad or something else entirely.  Basically, I believe that our troubled times are most often a reward because they help us to actually learn how to separate from this inane activity of making such assumptions in life that we are all so bent on doing.  Your troubled times can help you to step back and actually see the magic around you.  I believe that the key is to a) maintain faith in the world (or God, or the so called higher self, or whatever you desire to call it, b) not to make assumptions (i.e., we simply cannot know), and c) continue onward while maintaining feelings of "love"for the world (i.e., I don't think that love is a silly word meaning to blindly walk off a cliff, but that it is a word meaning -- i believe -- to align yourself with the world and others (energetically, this is perhaps akin to harmonic oscillation, I suppose).  Anyway, if you do that, I think you will find that your bad times will melt away.  If not, then you are being rewarded by the almighty whatever-it-is with the chance to get it right again.  Anyway, life has many hurdles.  Some have it harder than you.  Some better.  But, you have the ability to find happiness in whatever life presents to you.  Anyway, hopefully this helps a little.  It has helped for me.  And, remember, that life always ebbs and flows.  There will be good days and bad days, but as one grows, the good times seem to prevail more and more of the time.

Pauli2

You could also request to meet some new people. Take your time and watch who you meet. Be open to the fact that some of them may be of age. You could be open to new positive energies too. Request them when you are relaxed.
Former PauliEffect (got lost on server crash), http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pauli_effect

DASH Project

Quote from: spark on February 17, 2011, 00:36:54
Hello there.  Sorry to hear how you feel.  Hang in there.  Life has all things.  Ups and downs.
School is a tough time too.  For me, I recently came to appreciate (finally, at 45 years old) that the so called bad times come with hidden rewards.  There are many wonders to life.  All you need to do is sit back and watch them.   Anyway, I also tend to think that it is very important to appreciate that we are small.  We do not know that which is supposed to be.  I believe that when one "assumes too much" (such as, e.g., deciding that the world will or may end) that one is essentially playing God.  Basically, there is no way to know.  And, even so, there is no way to know if it will be good or bad or something else entirely.  Basically, I believe that our troubled times are most often a reward because they help us to actually learn how to separate from this inane activity of making such assumptions in life that we are all so bent on doing.  Your troubled times can help you to step back and actually see the magic around you.  I believe that the key is to a) maintain faith in the world (or God, or the so called higher self, or whatever you desire to call it, b) not to make assumptions (i.e., we simply cannot know), and c) continue onward while maintaining feelings of "love"for the world (i.e., I don't think that love is a silly word meaning to blindly walk off a cliff, but that it is a word meaning -- i believe -- to align yourself with the world and others (energetically, this is perhaps akin to harmonic oscillation, I suppose).  Anyway, if you do that, I think you will find that your bad times will melt away.  If not, then you are being rewarded by the almighty whatever-it-is with the chance to get it right again.  Anyway, life has many hurdles.  Some have it harder than you.  Some better.  But, you have the ability to find happiness in whatever life presents to you.  Anyway, hopefully this helps a little.  It has helped for me.  And, remember, that life always ebbs and flows.  There will be good days and bad days, but as one grows, the good times seem to prevail more and more of the time.

Your advice kinda confused me, but I hope I got the gist of it.

Quote from: Pauli2 on February 17, 2011, 01:18:20
You could also request to meet some new people. Take your time and watch who you meet. Be open to the fact that some of them may be of age. You could be open to new positive energies too. Request them when you are relaxed.

I have two other people on my team, who seem pretty cool and might be good friends.
I am a one-man religion. I follow my own path. I imagine and create my own gods and goddesses. I fight for them every day, for it gives me meaning...

I am a KYRDAN

Summerlander

Pay the gas and electric bill and get yourself some hash cakes. :-D

DASH Project

Quote from: Summerlander on February 17, 2011, 12:53:14
Pay the gas and electric bill and get yourself some hash cakes. :-D

Yeah party at my house!
I am a one-man religion. I follow my own path. I imagine and create my own gods and goddesses. I fight for them every day, for it gives me meaning...

I am a KYRDAN