I'm not sure where to post this.... D=

[donzieja]

I can't stand life anymore.... I need to be able to have some sort of experience that shows me I'm still loved somewhere, but anything I get has to do with money and how much my parents love to not listen to me and blame things on me... I wrote this thing earlier... Sums it up pretty well.

Reaching

Every time I've gave and didn't recieve. Every word I've spoken held against me. Every action taken misunderstood. Every where there's someone or something trying to manipulate what I say or do to fit their ideals. Every thing just goes around in an endless loop of constant surveillance, monitoring, and distrust. Every time I am concerned for my own well being rather than others, I am scorned. I didn't do something perfectly, I am given the cold shoulder. I try to get help, they deny it and say I'm "fine". I'm just reaching for "another excuse". What do I need an excuse from if I don't know what stress is? I've never been under stress, and therefore can never comprehend it. Every thing I care for is just a shallow, simple-minded concept. I'm not allowed to learn what I want to learn, only what is recommended. Nobody would ever dare to take the time out of their precious life (that I support them having) to support one of my interests. No one ever listens for anything they don't want to hear. Everyone creates their scenario of what they think happened and never bothers to listen to the truth. It's always denial, denial, denial. They claim that I need to "grow up" and "move on". Do these things not involve searching for and understanding the truth? I try to explain the truth and it is rejected without second thoughts. They're always right, and I'm always wrong. There's always a policy or exception or rule that contradicts what I have to say. I am a speaker of the truth. No matter how much anyone wants to deny it. It is a futile effort, as no one is willing to change their corrupted views and ways. Their efforts to spread lies and invade privacy are always supported by greedy people who care for nothing except money and instant personal gratification.



I freaking can't take it anymore... What am I if I'm too cowardly to show my parents who I really am?! This is ticking me off big time.... I'm trying to hold back swears. Anyways, I started to hallucinate yesterday at school, and of course, my mom thought I was making up an excuse to get out of "stress". But, according to her, I don't know what stress is, I'm just lazy. God forbid I dare ever be concerned about myself rather than everyone else.... Who are rarely concerned about me. I'm about to invent a time machine so I can be 18 and move out, without them having a say in it...

[Szaxx]

Hey there,
Life is for living, yours is unfolding before you. Take a breath, and look at your surroundings.
Your looking into yourself as no use.... Stop this immediately. You should be looking outward, see the errors of the others, their obstinance towards you as an imperfection. Its hard on you at the moment, you have started to change yourself. You see yourself older than the others. Your changing internally too. All this creates havoc with your mind. Now its your choice to be a loser and give in to this pressure, or, learn to beat it. Getting past this part of your life is a massive step. Everyone has done it. We are all here to help the best we can. It will pass sooner than you think. You need peace of mind and to get this you need to be at peace with yourself. The rest is just the pressure of life, you'll understand in a decade or so.
First be patient, look at ways to relax, meditation is good and there's lots of ways to do this on this site.
When you feel it easing you may understand more of your surroundings and why it is this way. Find how to fit in better, don't argue back, listen and understand for yourself. The life you have will change but what you do today affects all the tomorrows. Think about this.
If you can sleep comfortably then stretch your legs and keep your chin close to your chest. Your dreams may help you feel better as its an immediate escape.
There's always someone worse off so have a read. Try to calm your mind.
your present position is not one you have made. You will make yours soon enough so learn to be calm then your life will be so much better.
Hope you feel better after reading this as I hope you can see a clearer outlook to your future as more of a real person not one tied into the misery of others.
Go on smile.
Be that better person.
You owe it to yourself.

[Wi11iam]

I am a speaker of the truth


Cap All The Things which You Regard as Being Important.

as in

I Am The Speaker Of The Truth.

I Concur with the Essence of the above Post(Er)

There is no doubt that Life on Earth, and Our situations feel as a 'prison' for Us.
We don't seem to be able to wave Our Magic /*** and Everything is as We would like it to be.
Patience yes, and Gratitude - icky as the Thought might Be...

Think about the 20% of Folk who don't have to work a day in Their Lives, eat the very best of food, have the best of times, get to reincarnate back again with the same standard of Living, are well Protected from the Rabble and get to participate in the controlling of the Masses...it is All really so unfair! They run the 'prison'!

Then Think about the 80% of the population who do not benefit at all from the worlds resources, and are Fortunate in their own estimation to get a moldy crust off the pile of crap they Exist in.

Where - does a "Speaker of The Truth" 'fit' in All of This?

Find Your Place and Enjoy its Power...oh...also...Compassion...

Eventually you will recognize Intelligent Conscious Reason amidst the "chaos" and in doing so you will also recognize and support this Purpose and discover its Order...

...and Speak Its Truth... 

[Lexy]

I don't think your parents mean to hurt you, they just don't understand what you are going through. They have no idea they are making it worse either. Some parents just don't understand & they probably never will. Sometimes you just need to change your reaction to make it better for yourself. You can't change them into how you want them to be, instead have compassion for the way that they are. Instead of getting angry, find forgiveness for what they say and let it go. Learning how to cope with this will help you in many ways.

[Psan]

I guess you are younger than 18. It's a standard practice in this world that old people do not listen to kids, they tell them. It makes sense from an evolutionary point of view. Mostly the trick of being patient works. Wait for the right time if you wish to have your own way.

You seem to care too much about the people. You try to change them, its impossible. Even if you can, they change back after a few years or sometimes in few seconds. People are dynamic, not rocks. Its a waste of time to change others to suit your own likes. Instead try to change yourself, adapt and evolve.

Often we don't find ourselves in situations of our choice. Its best to use some diplomacy and act as if everything is ok, instead of reacting too much. Spiritual evolution is a personal affair, do not expect people to do it for you nor you should let them affect you.

[donzieja]

I'm 17. And to Szaxx :

That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard anyone say in my entire life. I cannot thank you enough.



Thank you all for your kind words.

[Szaxx]

Thank you for reading it, I'm glad you understand the words.
Iv'e been in a similar position much younger than you so understand some of your turmoil.
I also have 4 children of my own and now a granddaughter. If I can help them then I can help you.
A clear way forward has been made so take it patiently. Its the best way and its your way.
Thank you again.