Good Bye

[Chaos Mage]

Hello.  And fare well.
My remaining time alive as Chad after this post, a smoke, and a cup of coffee, will be devoted to meditation.  Proper meditation, the cessation of suffering, of false beliefs and corrupted thoughts, of improper focus.  I've said this before and meant it, but was unaware of what to do due to complications with desire.  Now I understand... 'stop focusing the dark reality, stop focusing the dark possibilities, don't focus anything, let it all dissolve!!'.  Which to me, sounds like the attitude of Lacey.

With what I had and not being Jesus Christ and not doing the work of a man of God or actively or really participating in the religion, I did my best.  My info is here, and on FB, and on my phaentia proboard.  A lot of it is here on the Astral Pulse.  I don't want a whole lot from life anymore, my eyes are very tired, my mind needs to rest in the cradle of darkness.  I figure I'll hit Nirvana sooner or later, and from there, it's full on deresolution of Chad and my reality, all of it, and dream into a new state, a new world.

And BTW, don't eat too much snow.  You might spontaneously combust.  I ate a bunch of snow today, put it all through my hair, washed my hands in it.  My hands and hair are so tender and soft now, and atm, I'm getting these mega waves of heat.  Also, the cavities on my front teeth 'mostly' healed.  The one tooth almost completely healed.  So snow is like a cleanser, a source of sunlight and thermal energy somehow by sunlight, and a healing to the bones.  Just be careful with it, that sun has mega megatonnes of force and is still pretty close to Earth from the vantage of a light particle.

So I'm leaving reality.  I just wanted to tell you people, people like CMF and Lionheart and Ryan, cuz you are the only ones I know and can communicate with who understand the process by which this is going to happen.

So that's it.  I don't think I'll make any more posts unless I do wake up in the morning, if I do wake up, it's guaranteed that I'll have had some form of astral/lucid experience.  I used to be fairly adept with this stuff, screwed myself up on wrong desire and negative focusing.  Or dark focus.  Negative focusing is what I'm going to do shortly.

Whew, I'm sweating hot, I hope I don't explode into Hellfire.  It's like the snow, once inside, amplifies your heat, and softens your entire being.  Ever notice how snow is crystalic shiny?  Sunlight, I'm tellin ya, it has healing properties beyond the range of medical science.  Wait, no, maybe not, well, some, I just checked my tooth again and it's not in as good of shape as I said first.  But it is a little better.  So that's it folks, I think I'm outta here.

[Chaos Mage]

*sigh*  I'm still here!  Looks like it's going to take one hundred percent devoted meditation to change my reality.  I knew that though, now I feel dumb.

[personalreality]

you were trying to pull a siddhartha? 

you can't stop. 

keep at it.  erase your personal history.