lost opportunity

[dream]

I haven't projected in awhile.. and truth be told. my focus has been more so on my new baby than on astral enlightenment. it's been a year or so since I've last been out. I've been successful a handful of times with one very crystal clear OBE.

that being said. last night I couldn't sleep well for some reason. and when I finally did get to sleep. I caught odd things in my dream, one right after the other. finally, I jumped in my dream and flew. I don't normally tend to fly in my dreams, and whenever I catch myself flying it is almost always a trigger for me. I realized I was dreaming and at that moment, a woman's face appeared through thick clouds and I want to say she "guided" me to fly backwards in a loop. I remember feeling a rush of warmth and the word trust appeared in my head. I trusted the warmth and safely flew upside down. I don't understand what happened next:
immediately after- I heard the loudest roaring. continuous and rattling. I was in sleep paralysis. I was acutely aware that my physical body was facing downwards and my eyes were closed. yet I felt like I was facing upwards with my head turned to the right facing my mirrored wall. (mind split) I knew it was dark (night time) yet I kept seeing flashes of daytime in the mirror Inwhich I was looking at the side of my naked self looking away. this flashed image happened 3 or 4 times. then on the last time I, in the mirror, snapped her head to look straight at me. I think I was startled and my vision snapped to he ceiling. my ceiling was dark blue, same color as the rest of my walls (it's normally white) and there were these little squares of black and white that were vibrating and pulsating and moving in the same rhythm as the roaring. for some reason.. I was freaked out. I remember thinking that all I wanted to do was to move. to see my baby. to wake up and be out of this. then I heard very loud and clear over my left shoulder, in a somewhat frustrated voice. "wait! don't. just don't" and then kind of let out a groan. I felt freedom in my side then kind of my arms and my vision was brought back to my physical eyes. except I could see my husbands sleeping face facing upwards and a second face turned staring at me, eyes open. then I finally came to and could move myself and orient myself.

...and I was soo ticked off.

why did this animalistic fear come out of nowhere? I knew what was happening. I welcome the opportunity to step out and explore! I've spent soo many years and so much time attempting and trying every method u set the sun! I've been successful. I've been out. why did I freak out? what was this primal fear response that I couldn't get over??

anyone been here? anyone know what's going on?

was the voice a guide trying to help me out???


why's everybody staring at me??

[Lionheart]

 The only time that my experiences ever hit a "terror mode" is when I awaken in Sleep Paralysis.

It's like for some reason we "lose it", that we are so disoriented that no matter how much we understand what is happening, we still have a "terror" scenario occur.

We then awaken mad or ticked off at ourselves, but those shivers that are still running up and down our spine are real shivers.

I have had 3 of these Terror awakenings in the past month alone.

I awaken every night in my Dreams, I see where I am, I gain Lucidity, but the only time I get the terror is when I awaken for real in them and it's only about the middle of my sleep as well.

Whatever the situation in that terror scenario is at the moment, it seems 100% real. Like I said, for some reason there is some kind of Disoriented period that we go through before awaking.

This is something I don't quite understand and most likely never will.

I can control my Dreams, but not the Sleep Paralysis induced terror scenarios. Even the "knowing" and understanding what they are isn't enough.

[Astralzombie]

My problem is when I have false awakenings. Anything that comes after that usually freaks me out and wakes me up the greater scare of SP. If something startles us, there is very little we can do in the moment to not become scared but we can shorten the length of time that we remain scared.

But alas, I have finally beaten that twice in the last month and I honestly don't know what to say other than I told myself that this needed to stop (the physically waking up part). I still get freaked out but laugh it off. Silly zombie, I am.

Oh, congrats on being a new mother! Teach that girl young so she can become some great psychic.

[Lionheart]

 I have beaten it a couple of times, but still had the shivers and chills for about 15 minutes.

My brain realized what was happening, but not my body, lol!

[Szaxx]

It's so frustrating not recently knowing this fear scenario. I think it'd be bad the first few times but it doesn't ever occur now. I must of burned out the fear back in the 1960's. That was a bad period, until I faced it head on.
If you know the reasons and reactions to SP, why does it still create uncontrolled fear? That can't be nice at all.