New here =)

[ralphm]

hi, it's great to hear that you are hanging in there with all that you have gone through. i can certainly say that being sensitive to non phisical energies can surely make you question your sanity. One thing that i thought of, have you thought of doing entity clearing with a shamanic type person? seems like from what i have heard entities  could suck your energy and play havoc with your sensitivities. unfortunately most drugs given for your conditions probably don't help in the long run, although they are probably important for now. i know someone on paxil(a prozac type drug) and she is somewhat lethargic and has really messed up sleep patterns.   it is too bad mental hospitals could not have a shaman/zen master/spiritual guide to help with sensitive people.

[muzza]

Welcome Athanasy! http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile_big.gif" border=0>


-- Muzza

[Qui-Gon Jinn]

Hi Athanasy from England...  first of all I gotta say you seem very mature for your age, and clever to!    
 You´ve clearly been through alot already, and if you ask me you have handled it all very well & wise.  
 As for your question, I really don´t think you should need to worry about some entity "sucking" your energy away or anything like that.
I strongly think the reason you feel you are loosing energy, is due to a much more "down-to-earth" explanation.
  I would strongly believe the medications you´ve been taking are the real "leak" you mentioned.  
Engaging in physical training such as jogging is superb!!  Try swimming also, it works wonders...   Physical training is one of the greatest way to energize your body and mind...  alongside with diet... thinking of your diet is very, VERY, important...  I don´t suggest you should go "overboard" with it...  but you would definately benefit from eating alot of fruits and green (living food), as well as drinking alot of water..  

   I wish you all the best //Qui-Gon

 
 



- Your focus determines your reality -

[SPASTRAL]

Hi Athanasy,

Welcome to the site.  It's cool here and there are a lot of resources to guide you.  

I won't try to give you too much advice as I am no expert in this area other than:

1. Save some cash and buy Robert Bruces book Astral dynamics.  I have just got it an find it an excellent read, and it will help you with energy excersises.  The ISBN number is 1-57174-143-7 This will help if or when you place your order at a local store.  I purchased it through waterstones and it took about 2 weeks to arrive.  

2. regarding your energy leakage, as Qui-gon Jinn says, it could  be the medication.  as a test, you could try using the Lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram.  IT WORKS! and it is very powerful when done properly.  I have provided instructions for you at the end of this page.

Hang in there.  You sound very brave (don't have much choice to be brave though huh!) I hope everything will work ok for you, and that you learn to channel your energies to help you overcome your problems.

Where abouts in the UK are you?  I live in Bath.


Lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram:

The Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram is not a traditional Wiccan Ritual but it performs the same function as casting a circle and calling the Archangels of the four quarters.

I. Perform the Qabalistic Cross
II. Inscribe the Circle
III. Inscribe the Pentagrams
IV. Invoke the Archangels of the Four Quarters
V. Perform the Qabalistic Cross Again


I. The Qabalistic Cross

With wand or finger of the right hand touch the forehead and intone Ateh. Then touch the solar plexis and intone Malkuth. Then the right shoulder, intone Vegeburah, then the left and intone Vegedullah. Finally cross your arms over your breast and intone Le Orlahm Amen.

II. Inscribe the Circle
Walk around the space that you intend to be encompassed by the ritual, with your finger "drawing" a circle as you go, starting at the East and going clockwise until you return to the East.

III. Inscribe the Pentagrams
In each of the four quarters starting with the East you should now inscribe the banishing pentagram of Earth. (5 point star with 1 point at the top)  As each pentagram is completed you should pause and charge the pentagram with the Divine Name associated with that Quarter. East--YHWH (pronounced Ya ho Wah). South-- Adonai. West-- EHIHE (pronounced ee hee ay) North--AGLA (pronounced ah glah). Return to the East.

IV. Invoke the Archangels of the Four Quarters

Standing facing East in the form of Osiris Slain (feet together, head raised to the sky, arms spread wide) Say:

Before me stands Raphael

Behind me stands Gabriel

On my right hand Michael

On my left hand Auriel

For about me shines the pentagram

And above me shines the six-rayed star


V. Repeat the Qabalistic Cross

Notes: The Lesser Banishing should be done at the beginning of a ritual to clear the area for magickal workings and then again after to discharge the magickal force raised during a ritual. This ritual can be done anywhere, and is useful on the astral to "get rid of" unwanted visitors (ie elementals or other etheric beings you run into on the astral).

The visualizations that go with the ritual are: Qabalistic Cross-- a beam of energy entering your head and exiting your feet, and another crossing from hand to hand, your heart should be where the two beams cross and as they do a rose made out of light should bloom.

Circle--when you complete the circle a sheet of light should spring up.

Pentagrams-- each pentagram should flare as you draw it and then become intense and solid as you charge it with the Divine Name.

Archangels--as you name each archangel you should visualize him standing just behind the pentagram and spreading his wings so that your circle is completely surrounded--Raphael is dressed all in gold and carries a sword--Gabriel is dressed in blue and carries a cup--Michael is dressed in red and carries a wand--Auriel is dressed in green and carries a pentacle.

[Rob]

Hi Athanasy, welcome to the forums!

I have wondered a lot about schizophrenia, had a friend who had to go into mental hospital once because of it, the year before he went to uni (the age 18-19 I know is quite a common time to "get" it - he is 95% better now I hear). I think all the things you are talking about seem to come from some sort of imbalance in the brain, I always think of it like the conscious mind is recieving too many impressions from the sub-conscious, which for most people would be blocked out. But this isn't to say that you are not in some way gifted with psychic abilities. The medical profession will always try to explain things within its own umbrella, which basically consists of "what is wrong", so all the psychic stuff gets frowned on. You can always just say "chemical imbalance within the brain causing hallucinations blah blah" but this explains nothing, because what caused the imbalance? And how is this directly affecting the mind?? Really, they don't have a clue. Energy perhaps. Did you ever had any night terrors or very frightening periods when you were younger, say 0-10? I have a theory this causes mental imbalance which in turn causes a forced opening of the subconscious mind with all its crazy impressions.
I think it is worth checking for entity attachments, because even if they were not the cause of the problems, they will still have been attracted to you, especially around the time when you were getting it really bad. Go check out all RB's basic psychic countermeasures if you are interested, they are definately worth trying.

Spastral: I live in Bath too!! Am a student at the uni, living up near the circus. Great place huh!!!

[Athanasy]

Frist off..... *wow* thank you all for such awsome replies ! I really appreciate it =)
When I was first put on Geodon (an anti-psychotic) to kind of stabilize me, put me back into reality - and get rid of those darn hallucenations.. I would sleep or 21 hours a day. No joke. I would then spend a few hours, TRYING to get enough strength to leave the bed, and then I would eat something very small (since after I eat a full meal I get partial seizures),  then I would  spend the rest of my time with my family... and they would hold my hand and we would talk, at least 20 minutes after being awake "tired"ness would fall RIGHT back on me, and I would have to take another  800mgs of my medication before I fell asleep again ! Then I would sleep for another 21-22 hours straight. Solid sleep, too.
The medication was that bad ! I seriously think the trick was to put you a- sleep, I mean - who can hear voices and see things in their sleep, right ? (besides dreaming... =) )
So Yeah - I know what you guys mean about how it could be because of the medication , my tiredness.

Although I figured out a few months ago it ISN'T the problem... even though I'm suppose to be on seroquel (new meds) for up to 3 more years, and well, until the rest of my life time.. I one day decided to stop taking my meds, just to see what happened... for the first few days I had SO much energy... then I fell back into sleeping 12-14 hours a day, which is how much I sleep now. That is with no medication.

But I think I just have to give my self a break. For the first time in a long while I've been "sane" - and I suppose I have to look at this blessed period as a time where my brain is healing...
So I'm not too worried.
I don't think of my lack of energy as say ,someone 'taking' it.... just, at the moment I can't find a logical MEDICAL reason.. as I'm quite healthy, at least what the doctors say..
I just need a change of life-style.. mentally.. phsyically..... like many of you said, better foods would probably help also.....as I can't eat much, (solid foods, at least..) - It would be smart to eat more greens.... as much as I.. HATE them ! (hmm... and they said I would of grown out of hating me greens when I got older, ha ! ) But I do enjoy a salad every now and then... =)

The only thing that I can think of that could be causing this EXTREME tiredness (there hasn't been a moment in the past 8 months of my life where I could actually say "i'm not tired..).. is "depression".  Just maybe "under lying" , because I'm so HAPPY ! I kind of learned to deal with all the crappy medical stuff in my life, and say "damn - at least i'm alive , right ?". It could always be worse.. but, the thing is , is I'm Bipolar (manic depressive) although the chemicals that cause you to be tired in  regular depression.. could still be out of whack in me.

So there is lots of reasons..... I'll find the answer though !

Where abouts in England am I ? My parents and I have been doing a little traveling here in wonderful America.........
Well at the moment, I'm in Florida !  We've been through...

- nevada - arizona - new mexico - texas - lousiana - alabama - mississipi ....

I enjoyed New Orleans VERY much ! Although I didn't feel to safe, some of the little hidden "taverns" were very calming ! There is something about the "deep south" I like... =)

Our house in England is located in Hertfordshire, according to the post, but geologicaly - it's actually in Essex.... so.. *shrugs* .... I'd just say essex, 'cos it's less to say !
I was raised in California, in San Francisco - *misses haight street* , but  I've been back and forth from England to America..... my parents have all their family (mine too!) there...., and once we get back to England - we'll be there for sometime.

20 minutes have gone by, and I have completed another novel, sheeeesh....Again thanks for the reeeepliees !
I have some OBE insights I'm going to post soon......

xox
athanasy

[SPASTRAL]

Hi Inguma,

I'm in weston village, so were not far from each other at all!

We should meet for a beer.  It would be nice to talk openly to someone about this kind of stuff for a change without feeling stupid!

My Girlfriend is at Bath Uni doing a maths course!  She's the reason why I'm down in Bath.  Decided to follow her down here for her final year and I like it so much I could live here.

Being a student, I know a beer will be one of your favourite hobbies, so let me know if your up for it.

My personal email is SPENCER.PAYNE@VIRGIN.NET


Athansy:  You seem like you've got things under control, and under the circumstances I have to take my hat off to you.  Without wishing to sound too condescending, I think you are doing a great job of keeping sane, especially for your age.  I was my own worst enemy at 16 years old and I had no (confirmed) mental illnesses!

Hope all works out for you.

Spencer.

[Mobius]

G,day Athanasy

Welcome matee,you have certainly packed your life with experiences & learnt many a lesson by the sounds of things.There is some similar cases to yours in this forum somewhere,you might be able to glean some more info off those posts.

Good luck & good journeys

Mobius

[Athanasy]

Hi everyone ..
I just joined this community, hopefully I'll learn even more things here. For the past month or so I've been interested in "OBE's",  and I've been trying to learn as much about Astral Projection as possible. What led me to this, is kind of strange, well I guess not..... but the last year of my life (I'm 16) has been really difficult, hard, and confusing. I've been in Mental hospitals, diagnosed with everything from Bipolar disorder, Schizophrenia, Borderline Personality Disorder, Partial Epilepsy (partial seizures) - and the list goes on and on, and on. I've had bad health since a very young age, my anemia has been on and off, I have somewhat a weird heart (abnormal vessels, backwards tubes, etc..), and seizures after I eat food.... and, that list goes on and on too. What my point is, is ever since my long attack of "psychosis" , and since I've been somehwhat "in reality", I've been searching for some kind of answer. Something to make life less confusing, more calm, and less scary. Since I was little, my mum introduced me to many pagan religions, which were centered around "energy".. and inner strength.... and  even though astral projection is far from a "religion" or isn't a "set of beliefs" - I find comfort and fascination in it.
When the doctors diagnosed me with psychosis, one of my constant "symptoms" I guess you could call it, involved many "psychic" encounters.  While I was developing schizohphrenia or schizoaffective disorder, I became very sensitive to energys... I could feel spiritual presence.... and although it sounded very delusional at the time , "spirits" would give me messages, and from that I would gain knowlege of events yet to come and my inner self gained some kind of "psychic advantage".
Also , I recall, even in the mental hospitals, at night, I would go into this very relaxed state.. and my mind would become very aware of past and presence energies in the room where I was..and because I was delusional, at this time, I would of course assume this was all being given to me because I was the "chosen" one in the universe, and the aliens wanted to give me this information. Butttt.. that's not the point =)
I would have, what I now discovered as "obe"s .... I would find my self in a deep trance, with a very steady rythmic breathing..... I would feel vibrations in certain points of my bodys, and a hum that went along with it ..... It seemed like a deep state of meditation to me, I don't recall even "thinking" anything, and only being aware what was actually happening, after it happened.  My body seemed to travel to the window and it wasn't very clear, my vison was a little blury but I could still make out where I was, and anytime I saw "light", my vison would blur a little more, and seem to ruin most of my vision from then on.
I have had similar experiances like this, when I was younger also.
This time was all very confusing, because I was infamous for my constant hallucenations, visually and auditory.
So if I mentioned any of this, it could of clearly been tossed into the "you're a fruit cake" salad..
I would hear voices constantly trying to tell me things....and see people I've never seen before, every day.. almost every moment of my life, before I was put on anti-psychoctics  that seemed to stop it all, (somewhat)
I had the most obe's and psychic phenomena happen to me , during the points of my "illness".

I'm curious if there is any link what so ever. During therapy time with other schizophrenics, I met a lot of people who were "stable" and have told me they have always had very keen psychic abilities...., and I continued to search, and I've found many more people like that also.  I also found many people seemed to have close reguard to god and "angels"..... what my point is, is most of the people that have had psychosis or an illness like it, have had a very strong closeness to what most people would call bizzare phenomena, and can easily do things like astrally project, or sense spirits.

This could all make sense, schizohohrenia, or even epilepsy has to go with organic abnormalces in the brain...... and that clearly has affect on the mind, so couldn't it also clearly have benefits that are over looked, or not even noticed? I think that most people suffering from the things I have gone through, have opened up some human ability, not many people can find, unless they try to.. and that tends to make the illness worse....
If you get someone who is telling their doctor, they see aliens, or people standing in their room at night, warning them of things, and then they tell the doctor they frequently "leave" the body and can roam around town, wouldn't it all get overlooked, as just apart of the illness ?
I don't know what my "real" problems were. Perhaps I'll never know. I meet the specifications for many mental disorders, and I'm being treated for schizophrenia, and epilepsy.... Although I'm 98% cured from my "schizophrenia" with medication - I still have the remaining werid things happen to me....... the psychic things..... and  I have this werid ability to "take" peoples energy, with out meaning to. I looked this up, and and I suppose that is something to do with "psychic vampirism", which I know nothing about..., but every possible answer, that could be the answer for me, is directly linked with energy. As, of course, all life is here, because of energy.....
While on my journey to find peace with my self, find true happiness..... I just want to learn as much as I can about things I come across along the way, and right now , this is what I'm interested....
I also have a question.....
For about a year now, It seems I've been drained of all energy.... at least when I get it, It seems to leak somewhere, and I never get to use it, if that makes sense. I'm always tired, always unmotivated.... - but I have been jogging 1 - 2 miles every other day at the gym for the past 2 years to heal my asthma and heart conditions. This loss of energy is so unexpainible to me,  as I go to the doctors up to 4 times a month, I'm always being tested for everything, at at the moment i'm NOT anemic.......so my energy loss can't be from that...
Does anyone have any tips, or something to help me with this ?
Someway to get more energy to help me through out the day.........
anything ideas would be appreciated...

I hope I didn't bring up too many subjects..... but I thought I'd get all my rambels out on one post.......hope to hear from someone......

love & bless
athanasy
England.......