The Confession of Cezyl

[Nay]

I think it is wonderful and very strong of you to come on here and be so open and honest to everyone!!!  That took courage!  I never saw you as holding anyone back though.  

On any site you go to, one must go by their instincts on what rings true and what doesn't.  And I think different things work for different people, and you're right about being our own guides.[]  Seems like you learned a great lesson about yourself, I've been learning some stuff about myself as well.  Not all of it is pretty, but the lessons are there and I embrace them with open arms.

Thanks for this post Cezyl! I hope others will take a lesson from it as well.[]

Nay

[Nay]

That's a great way to look at it MajorTom! []  Thanks for saying that.

Nay [^]

[Cezyl]

Thank you for understanding Nay and MajorTom. []

Cezyl

[thelou]

Outstanding.  Thats all I can say.

To look at your issues head on, admit that they may not be the best, and to decide to work on yourself.  Excellent step in the evolution process my friend.

quote:I let on the simplicity and easiness of projection, I would let on the fact that no one needs me, which was very scary and an affront to my ego self that wanted to be the 'grand puumba', in control, ahead, leading, in charge, all-knowing, worshipped, sought after, etc.

In ALL of the movies and TV shows I have ever watched where there was an "ascended" master and student.  Many times the students were loud, they NEEDED to be heard.

The masters were quiet and soft spoken, they had evolved past the need to be heard.

[Cezyl]

Thank you friend. []

Cezyl

[thelou]

Your welcome.[]

A few years ago I read an excellent book by Nancy O'Connor, PHD.  It is called How to grow up when your grown up, achieving balance in adulthood."  It helped me learn allot about myself.  And always a classic "How to win friends and influence people" By Dale Carnige.  I know a lady who makes a really good living speaking to people.  She once told me that everyone should read that book at least once a year.  Her husband read it once a month for six months, and totally changed his personality.  He is now loved my hundreds.


Glad to see another person open minded about making themselves a better person.  There could be an entire forum about this one topic alone.  Who knows in a few years you could write your own book and become the next Dr. Phil[]

[Zarklon]

yo Cezyl,  I still think your coming down too hard on yourself.  I guess if you had those feelings bottled up inside then its good of you to let it out somehow and fix it like you've been doing with some other problems lately.  This is one of them that hasnt surfaced much if at all lately in our conversations over the phone but now I see that it effected you much more than you portrayed.  I'm glad to see you learned something more and from sharing that to everyone here , I think we all took a little something in from your "confession".  Still though , your not hurting anyone in my eyes.  I dont feel bad helping people through their roadblocks if someone questions me on these forums or on messenger.  I believe I've admitted in the past that I'm not all that great yet either but I know a lot about AP and what feelings are felt during stages of trance and I'll continue to try to help people mainly because there have been many to benefit from my advice.

The same goes for you .. you shouldnt "step down".  I dont think you need to at all.  You are helping people as well as yourself and personally , I dont think you've created that illusion of being "the man".  I've never heard you talk about you being better than anyone.  I know you more than anyone posting on these boards I'm sure and at least I can say that you are a genuine person. Keep staying true to yourself , keep writing that book and keep working for that goal of "being the man" and you'll get it.

Meanwhile , I'm staying on my path and I'll be the man someday as well Were all headed in the same direction anyway

[Cezyl]

Hey friend...

You know me better than perhaps anyone else on this planet. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. I'm resettling myself 'in my skin' and coming too. I see more clearly who I am, and what I stand for. Thank you all for your help in encouragement...

thelou... Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement. [] I feel a certain resonance with you that says you truly understand...

Cezyl

[thelou]

quote:thelou... Thank you so much for your advice and encouragement.  I feel a certain resonance with you that says you truly understand...

Thanks man,

You might be further along on your journey to enlightenment than you know.[]

Did you get my private email?

Thelou

[Cezyl]

I certainly did. I am working on a reply right now. I would have replied earlier but I wanted to read it again first. It touches the very core of me...

Cezyl

[thelou]

Good deal![][]

I got two PM's, and responded.  Let me know if my response did not go through.

[Euphoric Sunrise]

I don't think you are any different from many other people, man. We all want to succeed, we all want to be looked upon as good at what we love. It's all part of dealing with the ego. I, too, find myself doing things to make me seem not so stupid to other people. It's a natural thing that i think we all have to overcome. It's just good that you have seen it and are able to cosciously deal with it.
I think it shows you are more advanced that you give yourself credit for.

[Cezyl]

Thank you for your post my friend. I'm learning to be lighter on myself. I forgive myself, which allows me to better forgive others for things they've done that I feel wronged me.  

Cezyl

[clandestino]

Hello there mate,

I wouldn't worry about giving people false impressions....Its not always a bad thing !

I've only had a few OBE's and 2 or 3 conciously-willed OBE's. I've been practising for over 15 years, and can honestly say I am nowhere near what I'd class as "amateur" level, let alone "expert" !!

But like you, over this time I've gained a lot of knowledge on the subject of OBE's, through my failures as well as my successes. Knowledge is not an exclusive commodity for those who have "experienced"....this is a well-worn myth.

I'd guess that there are few, if any, people on this forum who have mastered astral projection to any degree of regularity....But there are many people who have a wealth of knowledge, including fantastic experiences, that can be shared here.

quote:I think it was because if I let on the simplicity and easiness of projection, I would let on the fact that no one needs me, which was very scary and an affront to my ego self that wanted to be the 'grand puumba', in control, ahead, leading, in charge, all-knowing, worshipped, sought after, etc.

Yes, its a scary thing to examine, that emotion of "no-one needs me". But when you examine it Objectively, you realise everyone's in the same boat at the end of the day !

Anyway, that's enough rambling from me !
best wishes
Mark

[Cezyl]

quote:Originally posted by clandestino

Yes, its a scary thing to examine, that emotion of "no-one needs me". But when you examine it Objectively, you realise everyone's in the same boat at the end of the day !

Yep. I so realize that now man. Thank you so much for sharing. It's a horizontal thing, not a vertical thing.

Take care.

Cezyl

[Cezyl]

Thanks MajorTom. Someday I hope to meet with you out-of-body. []

Cezyl

[Cezyl]

Cezyl.com Cezyl.org AwarenessBooks.com

The Confession of Cezyl



5/7/04 1:30 PM

I'm not so good at the out-of-body experience. I have portrayed an image of being very good, for I have done so much studying, and made so much research. But when it gets down to experience I am not all that good. I don't think I am a very good person, for even underneath the exterior of wanting to help so much, deep inside I wanted to hold people back, to hold you back, so that I may be the enthroned, adored, the 'high one', the one that gets out-of-body and does all these things, and in the process everyone must come to me for advice and etc. The fact is, as I am learning, you are your best guide, for you will guide yourself to exactly what you need for what you need. Also, there are many people out there that seem more experienced then I. In many of the things they portray, my experience and knowledge seems to contradict, but that could be just my lack of experience, or my trying to find something 'different' so that I can monopolize in one way or another, or perhaps instances of legitimate shortcomings here or there. But who's perfect? And you can decide for yourself by studying these works and these people and their works. A few of these personalities are Robert Bruce, Bruce Moen, The Author, Robert Monroe, Yvonne and Gavin Frost, Sten Oomen, Sylvan Muldoon, etc.

I fully support Stuart Wilde. He is such a great help to me. His work is so potent, and I feel he is a great being who is sincerely helping the world, and who has overcome his shadow.

I apologize for wanting to hold you back. I think that is the reason for my repeated failure at OBE. I would get to the point of mastery and then switch techniques, or stop practicing, or something. I think it was because if I let on the simplicity and easiness of projection, I would let on the fact that no one needs me, which was very scary and an affront to my ego self that wanted to be the 'grand puumba', in control, ahead, leading, in charge, all-knowing, worshipped, sought after, etc.

Perhaps I am not all that evolved. I don't think I have been such a good person.

I plan on working more on myself and overcoming my shortcomings, and stepping down from my illusory pedestal and claiming my humanity.

Cezyl