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(I have no clue where to post this.)

Say you know a person and are very close to them, they are a loved one/family member. You know them well, you experience the full spectrum of emotions in the relationship. But whenever you become angry at them, or think something negative about them (even if it's only critical)...a picture falls off the wall onto your head, you run into something you swear wasn't there a second before...you trip over nothing, stumble, hit your head, stub your toe, the cat runs across your lap and scratches your legs...instantly following your negative thought.

You never become seriously injured but you reach the point of eventually trying to think only good things about that person. You offhandedly joke about it with a mutual friend or family member who -- strangely enough -- claims to experience all the same accidents and incidents right after thinking any negative thoughts about the same person.

What is it about this person that would cause these things to happen to their friends and loved ones? Is it related to their karma? Could it be a protective entity? Could it be their loved ones guilt in thinking negatively? Is it some kind of witchcraft? What do you guys suspect?

And everyone creates their own reality... (which I find difficult, but true).

Exactly, which is why they are all different. We're almost always able to change it, good thing too. I do also think it's entirely possible for our realities to bump one another's and change a little with each contact. If they did not I don't think there would be a reason we ever divided and became apart. It's why I'm always both thrilled and unnerved with every person I meet. There are reasons to love each one that I always come to realize. My own reality revolves around others. I care mostly to serve them, which has formed the largest conflict I have with my own illnesses...when they choke an entire day or week and I'm forced to care only for myself. I have the deepest issues with that.

The people giving up are the ones I seek to help most. I am here to guide.

And it can be a part of your make-up and be a positive. People are great that way. The combinations of things we will become and are becoming are unlimited. No one is just yet what they will become. Changes can always take place. I won't give up on anyone giving up. I only hope I can come across those who are...sooner than later.

Every part exists, denied or not. Even if someone talks often or complains about their illness I know it is not all there is to them. The depths of people seem so percievable sometimes when their conversations have a center. But I certainly do not talk about what is deepest in me. In fact, the things I write here are never uttered to anyone. They are written here only. Everything you know of someone is only what they choose to share with you.

Everyone who knows me has no idea how spiritual I am, that I delve into anything like this. Isn't that funny? I don't even know why I choose not to share, I'm not embarrassed by anything. For some reason it's part of me that I choose to keep all mine.

Everything that seems...can only seem.

Unfortunately diseases are in a way necessary, they are not the curses people believe in. You see after much suffering, the point...

You are bestowed sight.
Like with any lesson, only with disease you see deeper into another persons heart. It is staring deep into anothers suffering. You can think you understand but there is no way to fully understand or sympathize standing outside of it. Disease is a full understanding of others. There's hardly many ways to get closer to another human being.

I've seen the inside of diabetes particularly...you don't know otherwise...you really cannot. More than anything in the world, I want to help people now. I want to help them feel better and learn how to manage. I love them before I ever meet them. You can say and believe whatever you want, that it is karma, that it was a choice. I really don't care the nature of its origin in anyone. Regardless what is deserved, I must help people. To hell with what karma, or what God has willed...these people deserve my love. It's that simple.

I'm one who cries once a year at most. Publicly, never. The one time I did I was walking through a hall of quilt squares, each depicting the child who made it...diagnosed with diabetes...at age 1, age 2, age 3. I had never been so profoundly moved. That was the moment I knew what I had to accomplish in this life.

For me AP has never effected the health issues and they have never really effected AP.

Ooh actually...the times I have been very sick or near death due to some unrealized disease or acute illness OBEs/AP were wild. Out all night almost every night for weeks. So maybe it can enhance the capability in some.

I don't believe diseases are suffered by choices the soul makes post incarnation...but they are the result of choices made prior to. I have a lengthy list of issues (type 1 diabetes included, funny it's been mentioned so far in this thread) and each time that I succumb to something it definitely feels as if I decided upon it before this life and reminds me of a time beyond time before I was born that I decided my trials and my path. I've felt I decided all these things before birth since I was 4...a time when I felt as if drowning each day with a year long cough that nobody knew the cause of.

And here is a good example that corresponds with my belief...more than half of the time when someone succumbed to type 1 diabetes they were a young child or an infant. There is no way that in this life the disease manifested as a result of their negativity at such a young age. At an age when negative actions are nonexistent or practically unconscious. I have met many small children with diabetes, and do you know what they all have in common? They are old souls...all of them. They are hardly emotionally effected by their disease, they are stronger people, more accepting people than adults 5 to 10 times their age.

The impact diseases have on people has always caused me to wonder...many people suffer and let it consume their lives but the strange thing is -- though sometimes they don't even realize -- their strength surpasses that of a person in perfect health. I always laugh at healthy people when they have this notion they are stronger, as do the ill that they are weaker, and yet it is the complete opposite. You are not as strong as one who daily combats a chronic illness. It's as if some people are built to carry so much more.....and they do because they can.

Imagine it that way for a moment. There is no good reason for disease is there?...except to defy it...and to come back stronger.

Whats the root of evil? Man is. men can become demons also. Its not reserved to the watchers that failed the lord there are many demons and angels men have the seed in them and can be either.

No, I definitely don't feel it is that way. It is not that someone is either good or evil. That is as close to a black and white perspective as there is. Every human possesses both inside of them, at the same time, always. All of us are ambiguous, we are dualities.

Am I evil? No.
Am I good and pure? No.

Hi AngelGirl

That certainly sounds like OBE to me.  The experience you describe is called sleep paralysis and is well known.  There is some debate as to whether sleep paralysis precedes or follows OBE. 

For me, sleep paralysis definitely precedes an OBE...but that does not mean that it couldn't also follow. I just remember only OBE's that follow going into sleep paralysis. It really doesn't feel like I can go out of body unless I go into sleep paralysis, but it's possible I've only trained my mind to believe that so I could use it as a door out.

I wish I could tell you what changed when the attacks ceased...I don't really know. They just went away.

But I remember almost drifting off to sleep when I experienced the notion of being able to see through my eyelids, however I couldn't move. I was on my back...

Sounds like Hallucinatory Sleep Paralysis. I experience it here and there...it often occurs when people sleep on their backs. They cannot move but they can see (some believe their eyes partially open, I also believe there's also an astral vision people can experience), in that state the mind creates hypnagogic hallucinations. They take the form of entities quite often. Years I experienced terrifying attacks from spirits and creatures. Now when I go into paralysis no one comes...and frequently I use this state to go out of body.

Dates because I'm curious (recently) about the ages I have lived to be. I don't feel I've ever grown old, even though I have lived many lives before this. I don't think I can. It is something I've always felt. I'm not especially worried about it...I just want to know for certain.

Of course years erase years on a headstone or marker...I've learned nothing pretty much.

I've had a handful that were sepia. But none that were pure black and white.

Thanks Vilkate.
Haven't seen you around in a while. Where have you been?

Why not practice evocation and call some spirits in to visit you instead  ?

Well, because I've had enough of spirits already in this lifetime. I don't call, and they come over anyway. I used to attract them like crazy.

You're not the first to ask that...I must have messed up the angle somehow. It's a girl in and orange dress, holding a lotus. All along I was worried people might think it was a girl in a wooden spoon. 

Thank you. 

The house one came out kind of with a weird effect, I painted the entire thing without changing the water once. I did this to emphasize the twilight...muddy water = no stark whites. I like how it came out. I might try that again. I love twilight scenes.

I do not know what your "diet from hell" is; but I can guarantee it is alot, what most would class as "better", than the diet I eat by choice.

Oh, definitely I eat better than most. Whether I absorb the nutrients or not is the larger issue. I'm only very annoyed with it lately as it does not work more than half the time. I'm supposed to be healing now that I'm on this diet and I'm not making a very smooth or painless recovery. So right now all the restriction just feels like added abuse (thus the from hell reference)...if avoiding the foods that make me sick is not helping, why avoid them at all? I was told it could take a full year to get better.

I was a strange kid growing up. I wouldn't eat meat of any kind until I was about 10. And throughout childhood I had to avoid dairy often as I always had a cough, or some kind of infection. I lived off of bread and fruit until I was 12, then I began eating more of everything. I'm now severely allergic to wheat/gluten. Lactose intolerant, nightshade intolerant and a type 1 diabetic. All of which complicate eating. The benefit is that I see clearly how many things we take in that are just as bad as dairy and meat. Corn and wheat are causing health problems just as numerous. Even soy is more difficult to digest than people realize, and can also cause issues. Too many things that we eat, we should eat very seldom. In this part of the world people are overweight yet still malnourished. It's unbelievable how poorly we eat...but it is also incredibly hard to eat right. It takes more effort than I'm willing to give on a daily basis, but I'm giving it anyway. I'm ready to start feeling better, after years of pain and malabsorption. I just want it sooner than it can happen!

They're familiar. I'm only puzzled their theme is repetitive. That almost never happens to me. So it's as if I'm looking for someone...for a name maybe. How a name could matter now I'm not sure. I haven't found anything that satisfies me yet. These may as well be my own resting places.
Maybe I'm studying dates...hadn't thought of that till just this second. That would make sense...lately.

I just typed a long thing and my cat deleted it...amazing what they are capable of. 

Anyway...
No I don't get regular exercise in the winter. Just gets too cold here. I have noticed my muscles have shrank a bit. The last time I went out of body I felt an ache in my neck and I felt attached to the entire length of my body, as if with velcro. It was difficult to sit up, but I managed.

I should mention I use stimulants and a sleep disorder to induce sleep paralysis...sounds worse than it is. I basically have a cup of coffee and then lay down as if to take a nap...and my body -- due to some aspect of narcolepsy -- passes out before my mind if I hold very still. And then I am able to leave, usually easily. I've always been this way. When my disorder was treated with adderall I used to go into sleep paralysis 4 times a week no matter what (I was always a tired kid, my body now as I understand it, is just easily put out of sync with my brain when it comes to rest.) I can't stay awake in the day without something and even sometimes with. Yet my sleep is upset by anything I choose to help me function while awake.

Just lucky I guess. 

Now it works again, odd. 
These are some I've finished in the past week. All watercolor and influenced by astral sights so I thought I would share with you guys.

Hmmm, can't seem to share some new stuff. Shall I post links then..?

I can and I have. It's just that it's very difficult.
I want to go places always. I always think to go to a warm beach, California, my hometown. But maybe 1 out of 10 times I can just barely get outside the house. Recently I was able to get as far as Mount Shasta and then I felt myself being pulled backward, white holes burned into the landscape...I went back to my body.

I need to find a new way to stay outside.

Not at first, but then I become lucid...
I cannot read and do certain things unless I am lucid.

[want to]

I'm having a rough day.
My karma might get knocked for this, but I can assure you not to bother for my true karma already has been. 
Please do not take offense...but I already can't eat anything on earth without getting sick it seems like...and reading stuff like this, about people restricting their diets so much just because they actually want to...it makes me wish I had a choice in the limitations of my own diet.  Like most people do. Instead I am forced into a very strict diet (for health issues that exist because I was born unhealthy) that it depresses me at times. I never thought not being able to have things once in a while would get me down. What's worse is when I accidentally do consume something I'm not supposed to and become very ill.

Most take for granted they can eat anything put in front of them.
People should allow themselves to occasionally enjoy things like donuts and ice cream and pizza. Live now! We're all going to die anyway. 

I'm just touchy, I am sorry for venting. I'm on the diet from hell. It makes me a little cranky, and still my stomach hurts constantly. But I am beginning to believe most diets are spawned in hell and that pain is an unavoidable side effect.

I also wanted people to be aware that even an excellent diet doesn't always protect you from everything out there.

Again, I'm sorry for the long whine. Bad day. Bad week actually.

Pretty much I am myself, but just in different bodies...my age, sex, and race always changes. But various physical characteristics do not define me, even in dreams I don't see such things as defining. Somehow I'm comfortable in all the bodies I dream, it's never awkward or even noticeable. In very profound dreams I am closest to this body, very occasional dreams. Sometimes I am nothing, just watching everything.

I like being a male. which is only half the time.

I don't like being a pregnant woman.

I am seldom an animal. Actually I can only remember two occasions...once a baby horse, once a panther.

There are only three places I return to. My hometown, Zion canyon, the forest behind my old house. The rest of the time the places are always different, never the same. I guess I should also count Egypt and India...I go to those countries often, but in another time.

I can go out of body fairly easily these days...but I have trouble leaving the house. When I am able to leave I don't remember how I did, and when I try to leave I can't imagine how I can. I'm pretty sure I use windows...not the door for some reason. 
While I was out today I thought briefly on the state of my body with a touch of concern. My best guess is that I do not roam too far from my body because of health issues that I have...so I keep close.

It's hard to convince myself that I'm safe no matter how distant.