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fine tyrone, how 'bout i add to it.

trust your defenses. if you put up defenses, stop fearing for your safety. trust that what you have done is working. calm yourself. calmness will lay rest to great troubles. do as tyrone says and try to do away with the fearful aspects of the attack.

if the attack comes on more powerfully, do NOT start to fear it. not because fear fuels it more (whether it does or not i don't know), but because fear causes errors and misjudgements to be made. with a clear mind and a firm resolve your ability to use power increases greatly compared to when you are afraid. so, i am contradicting myself when i said earlier "fear it if you want". however i still maintain that you must take a stand against it.

and Bjays_Angel, if you want help performing an action rather than just asking for knowledge and advice, then please ask. (are you even still checking this board?)

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

very delicate balance. by mistrusting him openly you push him towards those beliefs, but by trusting him implicitly you put yourself in danger.

your dream was that he was already trying to kill you, so maybe you want to make sure you are protected in case he does try it.

try using some form of energy or magick to open his mind up to what he is doing. it may be that he is getting caught up in something he cannot control, or it may be that he has changed already and is not your friend anymore. try to get him to think about what is going on.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

ya know, if lucifer (satan) does exist, then he would be a REALLY old angel. it might be that people sense his age and then their subconscious makes them think he is an old man. never met him before though, although i, personally, would really love to have a shot at fighting lucifer if he does exist.

also, if there are angels and fallen angels then, as described in the bible, they have the ability to change their appearance. and fallnangel77, who says that demons only exist in the astral? cause, yeah if in the astral you believe something to exist, then by your own thoughtform it will exist. however, the two stories have to do with the real world and an oobe in the real world; nothing to do with the astral.

Secret of Secrets

hey! i think i may have stopped a car accident once. i was walking to school this past winter and i saw a car, full of girls, start passing by me coming up to an intersection. there was already a vehicle at the intersection and it was waiting to go. well the car with the girls started skidding on the icy road and the girls started screaming. (it was pretty funny even at the time) they weren't going very fast but they would have had some damages to the vehicles if they didn't stop. so, out of reaction, i put my hand up and threw my energy to the car, then i brought my hand down at the same time i said "stop" to the car. and it immediately got a grip on the road again and the driver was able to bring it to a stop without there being an accident.



whether i actually stopped the vehicle from skidding or whether i just "called it", i'll never know. but i still think it is kinda cool. i have quite often experimented with my energy by throwing it out to objects that are blowing in the wind (bags, paper, etc) and trying to get the objects to stop moving. i have gotten a lot of success and am now trying to get the objects to start moving again. they have a tendancy of becoming stuck to the ground  

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

wait till the event happens, then judge for yourself. however, right now, according to statistical theory, each team has a 50/50 chance of winning, which means so does the psycic. try to get more detail out of the psycic so that the chance of her winning is lessened, maybe to only 20%. the lower the probablity that she could GUESS right, then the higher the possibility she is psycic is she does get it right.

Secret of Secrets

kifyre: how i differentiate is based upon how they feel and what i can do with them in their most natural states.

chi is something i can (usually) only use when i am relaxed and it feels like anything from a gas to a stream to an ocean of energy.

ki is something that i have (usually) only been able to use when my muscles are tensed. it feels as though i am lighting myself on fire, but the flames don't hurt (except in exceptional cases).

kundalin in the energy that moves up and down my spine. i haven't used it very long and haven't experimented with it much yet, though. it feels like a thousand golden strands of electrical sparks moving in my spine.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

during your time when you were a "bad boy", did you ever hurt (and remember that hurt is a subjective idea) anyone that had the ability to do anything, no matter how weakly? from the sounds of it, if you hurt someone who later learned how to bind people, they may have set up an ambush to take you by surprise just as you were entering your dream state. they then attacked before you could orient yourself and when they were done, they kicked you out of your own dream.

try meditating. looking within, you may be able to find your energy and you may even be able to find the barrier that is preventing you from accessing your abilities. if you find it, and can't destroy it by sheer force alone, you may need to go on a "spiritual journey" in order to become reaccustomed to your spiritual side.

sorry that i'm not helping you more, but it seems as though you deserve what you got. try finding whoever or whatever did it to you and begging for forgiveness.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

(i am assuming for now that this is an attack of some sort. if it isn't then most of these methods should still work, and there are others that will work as well.)

i would like to take this opportunity to disagree with tyrone. any type of attack can be turned into something lethal if the person making the attack is powerful enough. fear it if you want, however, you must take a stand against it. do not just ignore it. try to disperse it and set up shields around your house. ask someone to help you if you can't do it on your own.

i know someone who has personally told me that he once accidentally killed someone (years ago) because the person had ticked him off so much that he let his energy attack the person without restraint. so you should realize that this may not be as harmless are tyrone says it is. from the sounds of it, it isn't potentially deadly right now, but if the person instagating it is powerful enough, they can make it so fairly easily.

first, try what tyrone says. try laughing at it and ignoring it. try playing happy music throughout your house all the time. try lighting some candles and maybe invoking some friendly spirits. try tai chi for a day or two and see if that does anything for you. get a friend to cheer you up, go to fun dances or a library. libraries are usually calm places and it may let you calm yourself enough to focus on diffusing the energy.

also, i think it was somewhere on this board, i read somewhere where someone was being attacked by some people that the person didn't know. so, the person attacking you might be some random jerk out for "fun". don't take it lightly. find some info about shielding and reflecting and USE it. try meditating and putting up personal shields and defenses.

as to "why attack back", well, from my stand point, if someone attacks me, they deserve to get hurt themselves.

~kakkarot

___
knowledge is power.

Secret of Secrets

try contacting the police department in the area where he died and asking them.

Secret of Secrets

astral c: hidden? i don't get. but, yes i do know of all the personalities. as to whether i am coping, i don't know just yet. i had "an experience" that i would like to try to figure out more about. and it may have included possession, but may have been what the thing that iguma posted was. but either way, it wasn't good.

actually, since you have all been so helpful so far, i will tell you more than i was planning on telling you when i started this.

as in the post from inguma, the three main personalities that i created did indeed become more than just personalities. but they have not yet developed into what could be termed as full humans yet. but at one point in my life, i did try to throw them out; i had decided to try and live my life without them and so i threw them out. but i realized life was soooooooo boring without them. so i called them back. it took a while for two of them to come back, but the third one almost seemed as though he was staying with me because he had no where else to go (?) .

also, to shed some more light on the subjects, they aren't evil. kakkarot is goodly, talis is neutral, and arcanum arcanorum doesn't care about mankind. next, fenris, no need to worry. they are not going to hurt "me". we all live in the same body, so they aren't going to do something stupid enough to get us killed. they help me whenever they can. i actually used to have quite a few interesting "debates" and conversations with them.

"An inteligence capable of running a human body - left without one as its energy producer" i am confused by this.

now onto "the experience"...
ah, shoot i am out of time in the lab.

i will post it either tommorrow or thursday.
once again, thanks so much for your information and insights
~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

astalc: kundalin isn't just sexual energy. it is energy of the spine. using it can give the user "good feelings" but so can almost any form of energy if it is used in certain ways. but i do agree that one should be cautious; i have read some stories on the internet about extremely disastrous kundalin awakenings. and the few web sites that i did visit almost all said that it is quite common for kundalin awakenings to be filled with some sort of negative aspects and experiences.

distant bell: try sitting in a rigid meditative position, with the spine ABSOLUTELY straight, most importantly the backbone that runs through your neck and into the base of you head. then try focusing on just your spine. after a few seconds of focusing on it, you should feel something slightly "weird" going on in it. when you feel this, slowly take a deep breathe and as you inhale close your eyes and try to make the "weird" feeling move up your spine, starting from the small of your back (actually start from whereever feels natural. if you don't know where it feels natural to start from, start from the small of your back). if you get it right, you should get a feeling akin to the feeling you get from a really good sneeze, but probably less powerful. then try moving the energy back down the spine. and know that, for me at least, it feels different going down than it does going up so don't think that something wrong it happening if it does feel different.

hope this helps. if not say so and i will see what i can do about finding some web pages for ya.  

~kakkarot

___
When you shine a light, you find shadows, but only when you shine a light do you know you are in darkness.

Secret of Secrets

it is dangerous if you do it too quickly or too uncautiously. i myself mix chi, ki, and kundalin (something new for me). when i first realized that i could use ki, and that i could use chi to fuel ki, i thought it was cool and i went around burning up chi to fuel my ki to try and see how powerful i could make my ki at any given time. and in the city i live in right now, there isn't much chi. the effect was that when i ran out of chi, i REALLY felt the effects of using ki so foolishly.

then when i found kundalin i started fooling around with converting kundalin into chi and i burnt myself out again. i am such a baka . it took me a couple of months to reabsorb enough chi to convert it back into kundalin so that my spine was even remotely infused with enough kundalin to get by in life at more than a metaphorical crawl.

so yeah, if you don't use caution (and most people probably won't) mixing different systems is bad. but once you learn from your mistakes, the ability to use different energies in synch with each other is increadible and achieves some really increadible results to. it just takes longer, as Tom said.

~kakkarot

btw, who was it that said you shouldn't practice tai chi and NEW at the same time?

Secret of Secrets

are you psionically active? can you differentiate between the forms of energy? cause i was thinking if you could, then maybe you can figure out if it was/is psionic, magick, chi, or another form of energy. if not (or even if so), could you please describe more accurately ALL the effects that you can see/sense/feel/etc of the attack? (ie does your stomach get nauseous, headache, does your mind become a jumble of useless thoughts and feelings, do you feel a wave of mental or energetic force?) anything that might help us understand is something that could help us help you.

thanks.

~kakkarot

p.s. if it is your father, would you like some help re-directing the attack at him?  

Secret of Secrets

fenris: you are on the EXACT right path for this. i created the personalities. unfortunately though, because i have used them so much, the personalities have been and are being moulded and shaped by life (experiences). kinda weird. and there have been a couple of times where one of the personalities gained almost complete control of myself and i had to mentally threaten myself before i got control back. i have since put more safe guards and automatic defenses in place. (but it is kinda cool to know that i created something that is going beyond a mere creation). i am not happy with it, but neither am i unhappy with it

astralc: maybe some MPDs are "demon" possessions, maybe it is all just imagined. but as to WHY? cause in some situations, certain people are better at doing certain things than other people. so why not have different people all in the same body so that one body can be a "specialized generalist"? besides they can come in handy sometimes. for instance, if i know i am being followed by someone, i can use the assassin personality, talis, to go into a back alley somewhere and be able to hide and watch whoever is following me. i have only done this once, and the person was only going the same way as me rather than following me, but it is handy if it is needed.

cainam: i think that idea of blanking out is a misnomer created by holliwood. but not sure for sure

thanks for you 'more input' everyone

kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

i think i am going to respond to astral c comments on drugs being left alone for spiritual development.

i agree.

i have only done marijuana and mushrooms once each in my life and both experiences were harmful to my body, though my mind was generally left alone. it seems my body is very picky about what substances are good for it and what isn't. i'm not sure if this is how it is with everyone's body, and that i am just able to feel the pain more accutely, but i think drugs are best left alone.

except for ALC*hic*HOL! just cause all it does is dehydrate me and gives me similar effects to sleep depravation.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

yes, atralpulse4229829 (phew  ), moving the energy by just feeling it IS a more natural way to develop the ability to use it. but more people are sooo out of touch with themselves that they need some sort of excercise or technique to feel the energy. i first felt chi when i was trying an experiment iwth self-hypnosis. since the hypnosis thing only put me in a "trance" state, i got bored and started feeling out the insides of my entire body. then i tried to stop my blood flow (yeah it would have been dumb if it worked) and as i was "pulling" against it mentally i noticed that something else was moving; and it wasn't physical, it was chi (even though i didn't know what it was at the time).

since then (approx five and a half years ago), to do anything with my energy, i have always used my energy directly rather than resorting to things like imagining paint brushes. however, i was lucky that i got an experience like that as most people don't. so they need some other way of feeling the energy.

oh, and the chakras:
http://home1.gte.net/drandles/chakras.htm

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

ok, so to clarify something that i forgot to, these personalities are NOT merely masks. i know about masks from psycology. masks are temporary things that are created as a sort of interface for your true self to interface with others in the easiest possible way.

my personalities are not temporary, nor are they situational. i can take any of my personalities into any situation and they will act differently than each other or than myself. if i were to take the nature one into a seminar on "how to cut down a tree" or something, i would probably end up hurting someone. but if i took the assassin into the same seminar, he would try to force me to walk out on it because there would be no reason for him to be there (unless there was).

they are not masks, each time i bring one out, i change myself to become that person and keep my true values, opinions, beliefs, etc stored in the back of my mind. it's like changing my true self. however, there have been times when i would use one of the personalities and i would not be able to completely control it, and when i finally just put myself back in place, it felt as though some being was being sublimated within me, rather than just my mind and spirit changing themselves. (the personalities are more than just masks because even each of them use masks when dealing with certain people in certain situations)

as to whether demons exist or not, maybe they are what people around here call negs, or maybe some people around here call them negs along with other forms of entities. after all, people believe in things like sylphs and fairies, as well as guides, so why not fallen angels?

as to my friend though, she didn't exactly develop her abilities. she told me they were given to her by God, which i can't find any reason to disbelieve. also, the part of me that always comes out when i talk to her isn't my true-est self, it is my happiest and most pleasant self - not because she forces it but because i am always so happy to have her as a friend. so it isn't that she forces people to be their true-est self, but maybe just not their worst selfs.

fenris: it is good to hear someone else say those words other than me for once: "our true self (usually) is neither good nor bad, it is neutal". this is what i have come to conclude about humans because it seems that people grow up in such ways that they seem predisposed to be good or evil (ie caring vs abusive parents), and only major events in their lives can change the path.

thanks for your ideas so far, the knowledge and ideas you are giving me help me to try to see the situation from as many perspectives as i can.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

wow most of you have some interesting was of how you came up with your names.

well i have a few psuedonyms, so i will tell about ALL of them:

kakkarot - stole off Dragon Ball Z. actually if you read my post about my personalities, kakkarot is the name of my martial artist side

talis - just came to me, but at the time i came up with it i was reading some dragonlance books with a character named Tanis Half-Elven, so my subconscious could have just manipulated it to become talis

Arcanum Arcanorum - i wanted a name to portray my other personality, the naturstic one, so i got out a latin book and started looking through it. i found some other interesting ones like "ignus fatuus" which means foolish fire . but i finally settled on this one because it means Secret of Secrets, which i am to all my family and most of the people i know .

b0b - this one comes from a character i used to play in one of my friends rpg's that he created himself. the character was originally name Master Corporal Bob, but i changed it later to just b0b to make it stand out. the character was memorable because almost every session we played he died AT LEAST once. the GM was a huge jerk about killing people off, but luckily mine was revived each time.

and those are all the names you might see me as.

Secret of Secrets

oh, my bad. it could also be something else. after going over your description again i realised it could be your optical nerves going overload on you and giving your brain the idea that you are seeing spots, hence making your mind put spots in your vision. this one is explained through medical sciences while the other one (neutrinos) is explained through physics science. maybe this is what you are talking about?

Secret of Secrets

never had an obe, but i will try to fake plausible explainations based on the things i have read regarding obe and "stuff".

1. it may have been drawing off your energy. did it feel like it was? did it feel like it was touching your spirit in any way? it may have been an astral insect, but from what i can decipher of the posts on this forum there is still much debate as to whether astral animals even exist.

2. it may have been your imagination: something about your subconcious creating an illusion based upon a feeling of fear.

3. it may have been created by someone who doesn't like you, or who was just creating illusions/spiritual entities to attack random people. this last one makes little sense unless you realize that sometimes people just do evil and chaotic things for no good reason. just like some people do good and lawful things for no good reason.

4. ssdf-*/sfdgdf-rgwARG}{PAG:G[;eg.   the best explaination so far, no?

sorry that i can't help you based upon personal experiences or factual based knowledge, but this is the best i can do and i hope it helps somehow.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

this one:
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/topic.asp?ARCHIVE=&TOPIC_ID=977
?

Secret of Secrets

grenade01: i think i understand what you are trying to say, but what i am trying to say is that i don't feel the chakras when i use my energy. and i also don't think i am using the same energy as you guys are because i can't "raise" my energy with the techniques described in the treatise. the only way i can get more energy is by going to a park, or another area where i can sense lots of energy, and collecting it from there (although these days i don't usually have the time to stop in the parks so i just absorb energy as i walk through them). i had never even heard of chakras until this past year (i have been using chi for about 5 and 1/2 years now), so that is why i don't ACTIVELY use them. sure i may unconsciously use them, but i doubt it since i can feel everything that happens in my body/spirit, and i can't feel anything like them being used.

so i guess my post was put up stupidly; gomen.

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

regarding the bright white dots that kristen is talking about: i think they are neutrinos; particles of light. when you stare at the sky or something white and slightly unfocus your eyes, they are easiest to see. and if you unfocus your eyes a bit more while focusing on seeing (if this makes sense), you should begin to see "dark blobs" about the size of a penny or dime.

since everything i have tried in order to manipulate the light has failed (mentally, spiritually, physically, energetically) i am inclined to believe they are neutrinos, and that the dark things are the area in the space around us that don't have light in them. after all, a single sun can't fill the entire atmosphere with light; there have to be SOME areas, however minute, that are devoid of light.

bhikku: yeah, when you rub your eyes the wrong way, or too hard, you damage them slightly. the sparks you are talking about are your eyes' healing themselves. at least, that is what it is when it happens to me. if the sparks are accompanied by a slight/brief pain in your eyes/brain, then you can pretty much be sure that that is what is going on.

the best way to figure out the truth is through scientific experimentation and knowledge. so do some experimenting and tell us what happens

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

that's really odd to me. whenever i drink alcohol, i am no longer able to feel my energy at all. my mind speeds up exponentially (which is really cool and FUN  ) but i lose contact with my spirit after even one drink. boy, i must be pretty weird .

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets

grenade01: why don't you go to other places than your room? are you unable to? or do you choose not to?

~kakkarot

Secret of Secrets