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Messages - tides2dust

#301
To the OP,

This is a good question. I'm not sure if there is a difference except for our level of awareness and, to what degree we identify with our physical host body.

... (???)

What do you think?

I've had an OBE in 2008 unlike any other. Three dreams over the course of two consecutive nights which ended in me waking up paralyzed in bed thinking I was watching myself experience a heart attack. Is that an NDE? I don't know. . .

And I've had OBE's while meditating, going back to sleep, or daydreaming. Some OBE's are more visual or auditory than others. Some, there is no astral body- others, there is a astral body.

Why all these differences?
#302
I only know about Halloween thanks to corporatism. LOL. In other words, I don't take this holiday too seriously, but recognize it as a time to enjoy spooky and surreal. I'll be watching Dark Crystal and enjoying some dried watermelon and dark chocolates as a way to celebrate. I'm on the PG side of things this holiday.

Hope you guys enjoy it... I have a great episode of the Why Files to share for this festive occasion:
The Horrors of Plum Island | Hybrids, Human Experiments and Weaponized Killer Insects
https://youtu.be/TunNIAGN8Ac?si=8LdkA5bY9TfN7kfb

Spooky!  :-o

=)
#303
Welcome to News and Media! / Re: Project Stargate
October 30, 2023, 10:55:54
Hi EV,

Not sure if there's any importance that I am relaying here, but found it curious you mentioned Immanuel Velikovsky and the book of Enoch.

I was just beginning to do my research on Immanuel V last night,
this was left open in my browser before dosing off:
https://youtu.be/3WVxYjx9dRg?si=rU5eiQlzpSjbE422

Which I stumbled upon after watching a recent episode of the WhyFiles(Thanks Omcasey!)  :-)

https://youtu.be/eIgbsZ05O2A?si=agpAkfTN_X73C_e8

Extra material for the curious, lonely or bored.  :-D  Enjoy!
#304
Welcome to News and Media! / Re: Project Stargate
October 28, 2023, 23:22:10
I liked the video, I believe him. Also brings to mind thoughts of Steven Greer who says we've manmade "UFOs." He says there's both, ours and others.

The fact that the doctor knew he had radiation poisoning and told him never to mention what happened again without further excitement towards the matter makes me think he was hit by one of ours, reverse engineered tech.

I also heard, recently, someone said we are the humans who don't remember their history. Like we're some modified version of humans who don't hail from planet Earth.

Kind of gives credit to this mans testimony.
#305
Welcome to Astral Chat! / Re: Scuba Diving!
October 23, 2023, 10:06:32
Almost two decades ago... In my "college days" I took a few classes of interest. Scuba diving was one of them. I got licensed. It was really cool- but the only dive I've completed was 40 feet deep in murky lake water. There was some wreckage we were supposed to observe but the conditions were so bad you couldn't see your hand if you extend your arm out. I have my license locked away somewhere upstairs, and would definitely need a refresher class. I don't remember any of what I had learned, but agree with EV- the experience is magnificent!
#306
Thanks Kodemaster. Yes I hear phantom music, conversations, scents and touch.

I woke up in the middle of the night/early this morning to someone tapping my right arm. It was right at a part in my dream where an older woman introduced herself as, "the witch of the world."

I could feel the hand/fingers nudging my arm until I woke up but no one was there.
#307
Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Goodbye
October 10, 2023, 07:09:31
Hi Donut.

I just want to say you are entirely loved.

You are a blessing.

May great peace wash over you and carry you onward.
#308
I learned about the kozyrev mirrors watching The Why Files!  :-D Very entertaining and thought provoking

You can start at 3:59 to skip the sponsor.

Oops! I see you already posted the video- so I came back to remove it. Yes, it was an exciting watch.
#309
Hello my public astral pulse journal. How are we this afternoon? Time to record last nights hypnagogic experience.

As I lay for bed- I began hearing a beautiful violin. It was phantom music, a 6th sense experience. And then I heard a man having a private discussion as if he were sitting in a dim lit booth, a fancy entertainment venue.

He said something about bringing on a European nation and protecting them in the war. I can't remember exactly. It was something about protection, and it was implied we are in the middle of a world war.
#310
What blew my mind coming here was the realization that I did not need to *separate* from my body. It was more like a trick of the mind, in order to set some kind of definition with the experience. But I posted an OBE where I did not, "pull myself out" and a member here helped me realize I was still in the astral. If you are struggling with attempting this, "disconnect" what if you stop trying to visualize that altogether? Instead of trying to force something while in this relaxed, slowed state- maybe just witness and experience...

Now I am remembering a bit more... In this particular OBE instead of imagining pulling my body out and exploring my house... Instead... the blackness from the eyes started to bring visuals like I was going down a tunnel and I started seeing something like a middle eastern mosaic mandala. Just a glimpse. First it was more like a suggestion.

I suspect even feeling sensations without visuals is a part of the OBE-

Well... I do not claim any type of expertise- my adventures are spontaneous, unless there are disciplines I am practicing in this life that might be in part responsible and I am just not aware of.

Thanks for the question, hope this helps...
#311
Hi, no big deal.  :-)

Actually had a partial OBE this morning.

My parents got up to let the dogs out, which woke me up. I used this to my advantage. I thought its been a while since I tried inducing an OBE. I lay on my back and close my eyes, I immediately recognize the "in-between sensation." I hear a mans voice as I am drifting and floating in this hypnogogic state. I choose to ignore the fear this mans voice stirred, he had a very rough energy. I continue to slip in between, I really enjoy these feelings. Except, I won't get anywhere if I don't attempt to take it further. I remind myself to go out of body and, with effort, I manage to pull myself up to a seated position.

I realize I am half way out from my physical body. It took a lot of energy for some reason. But now I am floating in my room. I ask myself if I want to look back at my body laying in bed as proof. I say no, I don't care- but still glance back either way. Yup, there's a body under a sheet on that bed. I phase through my closed door and feel a pleasant sensation. It's joy. At the same time, I feel so much weighted effort that I believe the experience starts turning into a dream.

I'm back in my bedroom and the feeling is somewhat lucid, like I am still out of my body except- now I am opening my door. Everything feels real. I walk down the hall and recognize my parents asleep in their room. I turn into the guest bathroom and use the restroom. Our toilet sits on the second story and there's a window that allows me to see out from the front of our house. I am standing, peeing, looking outside when suddenly a car frantically pulls up to the house just below me.

Multiple authority figures come out form the car- a spotlight is placed on me, and there is an overwhelming sensation of fear prodding at my energy. The people coming out of the car are male and are all wearing the covid mask. A man points at me and they start making their way towards my door. I am flicking them off just before the fear causes me to snap my eyes open and makes me realize I was dreaming and laying in my bed.

PS...

I remember now seeing multiple colors behind closed eyes- that's somewhat normal, except these colors were more apparent and moving in rapid succession. Lots of twirling and scattered energy.

Also... I seemed to have some pretty crazy dreams after going back to sleep. There's been this secret agent theme the last couple of nights, escaping facilities... And the one from this morning- a woman stepping into her power, she had to kill some of the people that helped her- lots of strong sexual energy and I think I was trying to help this woman remember her humanity.
#312
Quote from: Xanth on September 08, 2023, 11:07:50I wanted to expand on this a bit...

The illustration shows that you can enter the non-physical at any level of awareness.

Would it surprise you to know that these same levels of awareness also work while you're physically awake as well?  The EXACT same levels of awareness.

For example, you could be so drunk off your butt that you don't or barely remember that night.  That's you being physically awake with a DREAM AWARENESS.

Your normal operating level of awareness in this physical reality is actually one of an ASTRAL AWARENESS - but to separate it from the non-physical, I call it the "waking awareness".  This is the awareness level you compare to when you're non-physical to know if you're astrally aware.

When you're reading a good book or get sucked into a really good movie or tv show... that's you being physically awake with a LUCID AWARENESS.

Your level of awareness really shifts and is very fluid throughout your entire day.  First thing upon waking you're groggy, waking up with a stronger lucid awareness.  Then some people might not gain their full astral awareness until they've sat down and had that first cup of coffee! 

All of these levels of awareness are a property OF awareness, which means they seem to apply to you regardless of the reality you find yourself in.  Each level of awareness, even while physically awake, come with a certain clarity or feeling of clarity to them.  While you're drunk off your butt, your experience might feel a lot like a dream.  I know I've personally experienced that more than once in my life.  haha

Xanth this is a powerful observation. Sometimes even while awake I feel like I'm residing just outside the normal, "anchor point" of my awareness/observation. In this state, I feel an elevated sense of appreciation, of in-tune-ment, a feeling of interconnectedness and responsiveness to the Present as all belonging to One. Everything is in perfect flow, and sometimes I see pale lights or sharp electric lines in front of me or in my peripheral. 

My friend just bumped a chapter of Autobiography of a Yogi... Wherein Babaji tells Yukteswar:
"'Child, you must meditate more,' he said. 'Your gaze is not yet faultless-you could not see me hiding behind the sunlight.' With these words in the voice of a celestial flute, Babaji disappeared into the hidden radiance.

https://www.learnkriyayoga.com/sri-yukteswar-meets-babaji/

It tells me we can perceive, even awake, things that we sometimes think are reserved for the nightly sojourns we call OBE's.

Thank you for the awesome post.
#313
I see. Does this mean the forum might have a new name as well?
#314
A side note for tech support... Using a brave browser and, if you type astralpulse.com the forum is not accessible you get an, "Almost there!" message. If you type astral pulse in braves search engine- then the forum is accessible.
#315
Hey forum peoples, great job 👏

Thanks for everything I am happy to participate here.

Kind regards
#316
Thanks Lumaza,

And wow I love the new feel here.

Welcome back everyone and congratulations to the astral pulse !


❤️💖🎩💙🌹
#317
Hi Shineling.

Wow thanks for resurrecting my journal here, your interest is appreciated. As is your question.

What's probably most noteworthy is that I've recently joined a group meditation and the woman's intention is that we all connect closer to our personal TA's. Between this and a recent dream teaching me to find clues in group-settings makes me believe your timing and question is not coincidental.

A TA stands for Thought Adjuster.

My suspicion is that most people don't like being told answers, people need to experience on their own and discover answers. Answers most always seem suited to ones temperament which too are subject to change.

I think this is the way and allows us to grow closer in our personal relationship with God.

Here is the 1111 community that explains the concept of thought adjusters:
https://board.1111angels.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=32605

Interestingly enough, there is a similar lore and interconnected story with some of those, "answers" I've received when asking the same question as you. Who is responsible?

My personal conclusion at this time:

Ultimately, it is a Living Intelligence many of us often call God. It is loving and omnipresent in that, there is nothing that escapes its awareness and nothing it cannot interact with. LOVE is the ultimate force I maintain this belief in my innermost being.

14 is a friend. 14 guides me even to this day. 14 may be a, "Thought Adjuster" but 14 is also connected to most every instance I've had with receiving some kind of illumination behind my spiritual and psychic experiences.

I learned, a decade later, the teacher responsible for really activating my awareness(initiation) is the Peacock Angel. This being is also connected to the lore of Sanat Kumara- most likely an ET.

There's too much around Him(Or even, HER) that I can't say for certainty, but what I can say is I believe this Being does not care for the titles, it's about active service and constantly guiding individuals to the, "Light of Lights"

In this way, the forms are many and the message is most always the same.

:-) Cheers !!
#318
Hey, glad everything worked out.

I am beginning to like this place. =P

Congratulations to you and those who have been heavily invested.

A little humor,



See you all on the flip-syde.  :-)
#319
I'm a new member here but was beginning to find an appreciation for the Astral Pulse. It's understandable things close down, especially if one person is the majority financial backer.

Not sure how Casey or everyone feels about this but I've found her forum hospitable and she is an active member there of course, as well as a handful of other members... We usually record our dreams, there's a section for members to create their own journals- they can be astral projection journals surely.

There's all kinds of things there:
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/omtalks/

It is probably the most suitable, or at least has been for me.

I'm also a member of, reincarnationforum.com where there is a section on astral projection.

I am also a member of 1111MB which isn't that active but focuses more on UB and a concept of midwayers,
https://board.1111angels.com/

And I am hesitant to share this because it has a lot of political arguments but I have been a member of,
www.spiritualportal.net too.

I don't expect these last two to call to anyone, I think omcasey's forum is most suitable. Spritualportal has a similar format as this one but with the advertisements. SMF for free, whatever it is.

One thing is certain, whether you agree or disagree with the content or members there- all of these places have welcomed diverse opinions.

Best of luck all, maybe I will see you in one of these places too. = )

Kind regards ~
#320
I haven't shared a personal experience here in a while. So, I am going to share a blessing from earlier this morning. This blessing serves as a continuation in discovering answers gifted by a Living Intelligence. It was in a dream I discovered, "I am Sufi." Not knowing what the word meant, I looked it up and found indeed Sufism was something after all. From there I would learn about Hazrat Inayat Khan who I have come to call a friend. His wisdom as it is shared here, https://wahiduddin.net/ is a constant source of inspiration. I do not claim to be a devotee or disciple, just an admirer.

It was also in a dream where I received an initiation or, illumination. The one responsible for initiating me is called Al Khadir, who is also connected to "The Peacock Angel." I did not discover this answer until 10 years later, and when I did- it was a reality shattering effect- with dejavu upon dejavu, where miracles that defy our limited reasoning capabilities were made manifest.

Throughout this journey I have also received multiple prompts, in the classic 1111 style, and have developed a relationship with a custom call sign the number 14. I share all of this as it is relevant to this mornings blessing. 14, like the Peacock Angel, has spoken to me through many Forms, different names and even different personalities... But that something Greater behind it all is just the same. I don't just call it a Living Intelligence, I call it a Living Spirit. I call it Love and I call it God. So, thanks be to God for these special moments which I cherish more than anything.

-----------




The dream is interesting because it was almost like the dream *wanted* to wake me up. I wasn't quite able to go lucid, but I was noticing the dream speaking to me in an effort to bring me into lucidity. Here is the raw journal entry. I apologize if anyone here has seen this elsewhere, I share these things in multiple places- yes it can be exhaustive but I enjoy archiving on separate forums. I think the communities I have landed in are all unique with something to offer.

QuoteThe time shows 4:14AM when I decide to get up and record.

In the first dream I am shooting a gun with a couple friends on moving targets. It's nighttime and we are practicing leading our shots. I don't want to shoot anything that's alive, we are practicing on inanimate objects. There is a young child hiding in the shadows as authority figures move in and begin hunting us.

After this I dream that I wake up in my bedroom and I am looking at a tall old book which is dedicated to Hazrat Inayat Khan. I'm sitting up in my bed admiring this book. There's a clear plastic film on the outside of the book which is holding all kinds of pictures and a personal note inside. I empty the contents out and am looking at these old timey photos of Inayat Khan. They are *very surreal.* The author has circled with faint, white chalk the different shaped eyes. It reminds me of looking at Casey's crystal photos- there are atleast two Beings imposed in these photos. The nonhuman eye is what is circled in chalk. I look at the next picture and there is something else circled, another odd shaped alien eye blended onto HIKs face. Each photo or painting of Inayat Khan is different, I am looking at different ET's superimposed.

I should also note I feel a fondness for these pictures like I am to keep them by my bedside to be reminded of him.

I hold the last photo of him up and the author of the book had circled something off to the right- but I look and I see in the depths of the black portions of the photo a ET somehow belonging to Hazrat Inayat Khan- but as a completely separate entity whereas in the other photos they are blended together- the author did not circle this one.

I notice at the bottom of the book on its cover there is a note written for me. This takes me by complete surprise because the book is dated something like 1936-1945.

It says something like... There are four winds but only one compass. There are different sects. I am called, or to be included in a group that starts with an S. I think the word or name is Sanjaya. Sanjiit? S... Something. I can't remember. I'm not familiar with this word. It was a great honor for the author to bestow this title on me. Even stranger, in this myriad of pictures and notes and other items found under the plastic film are cutouts of a family. The author somehow cutout a Mother, Father, my self and my Sister- and two older dogs. The author hand drew spots on the dogs and wrote, "Sorry I made them dalmatians." (I am a family of 4 with two dalmatians).

This really excited me- to the point I had to show someone. I did not realize I was dreaming- I was just getting up to show someone in the house when Aprils boyfriend started coming inside. I heard them chatting outside my bedroom door. I am eager to tell someone about this book, excited by all these details.

Wake up....

Something in the dream really stood out to me... "There are four winds but One compass"

And... "Yours is the group S" In the dream the author actually told me to remember the word... But I forgot it.

But I did some research and found this book... I did not realize Hazrat Inayat Khan studied from four different Sufi teachers or schools of thought(the four winds... One compass)... Here's what's interesting- one of those groups or "orders" was the name I couldn't remember that starts with an S.



QuoteThis biography recounts the life of Hazrat Inayat Khan in his own words, from his early years in India mastering classical Indian music and studying under Sufi teachers of the Chishti, Naqshbandi, Qadiri, and Suhrawardi orders, to his travels to America, England, Russia and France in the 1920s. During his time in the West he created a school of spiritual training based on his vision of the unity of all religions and the awakening of humanity to the divine within. In his unique form of Sufism, there are no barriers of race, creed, or religion. He did not see Sufism as a religion, but rather a way of life that enhances and fulfills every religion. Additional material and anecdotes from the archives of the Nekbakht Foundation. Published by the Nekbakht Foundation.

Before sharing here I tried learning more about Suhrawardi. To my surprise there was a very informative video on YT,

Suhrawardi & The Philosophy of Illumination
https://youtu.be/XbD8vfzsEHA

Here he talks about the Light of Lights, the recognition of the True Self and that we are all capable of knowing God.

So... That's my update. I hope you enjoy. <3

Good night.
#321
Wow is right. Doubly agreed.

I'm not sure I understand what dual consciousness means, because I thought consciousness IS. But do you mean to say that you were experiencing a type of expansion- maybe a different personality?

I've shared my astral body, once that I am conscious of. A young girl named Abigail. She taught me, and by residing within me, I taught her. Is this kind of like what you are describing?

What an amazing experience you've had. Thank you- and sorry for the late reply.
#322
Shineling,

What an amazing experience. And beautifully written. I could see and feel what you were relaying.

I am really happy to have read this today!

Congratulations, and thank you. =)
#323
Thank you LightBeam! =)

That's very interesting description and I am also told to have been born on a cusp with water and fire elements at play.

I am appreciative of the fact that I have been born, and equally important, with an affinity towards spirituality.

It is clear to me this life is about understanding and experiencing God!

And with loving disposition. =) A important choice in the equation.

I do feel very strongly that this month, June 2023, is a opportunistic month for anyone interested.

The energy, which has been reflected back to me through the unified consciousness, is fire and growth.

I still keep some water by my side, it's just too hot. =P

But I have heard others say the same to me, confirming my intuition and/or collective mind.

So I hope others are feeling the expanding magic, and putting in the work/engaging with their interest towards their spiritual disciplines or deepest desires. I think this month is also magical with regards to UFO's and understanding beings from higher dimensions. Or maybe better phrased, evolving towards divine nature/out of the customary 3D model of human experience.

There's so much for us to learn, and that growth feels like an ever-unfolding process. A continual pour, and a continual thirst.

God is GREAT!

Much LOVE!
#324
I want to share this because its one of those exciting shout from the roof top kind of moments. Of course, I could just liken to the tree falling in the woods. Hahah. But this just feels so good...

I watched Interstellar tonight and have made a revelation from personal experiences developed over these last few days- I can share with video clips if you have the time and patience and I hope you enjoy the ride...

https://youtu.be/OA3Txp94pjs
https://youtu.be/SYoR_aRRhAs

Lately I am feeling like a type of conduit. A customer recently told me I was in his head, articulating his exact thoughts. Friends online and in person are illustrating images to me that my mind is focusing on or that my subconscious is relaying to me. I see the greater meaning behind 14 now too(a personal time stamp). I have probably come to this conclusion... But I am back at it again to say with clarity- 1111 is a method of communication and act of *love* bridging the unseen and connecting humans to a collective Self. SELF communicating with itself.

Messages from the galactic self...
Murphys law is not a "bad thing."

"What can happen, will. "

In the movie, Murphy gets in trouble for having literature that is no longer allowed. Its about the moon landing which she ultimately gets in trouble for believing in and sharing that with her classmates instead of accepting the altered version of history that, "the US staged the moon landing to squander soviet resources." During the parent-teacher conference her Father, Cooper, says he'll "discipline" Murphy by taking her to see a baseball game.

Cue synchronicity and further understanding of personal experience... Bridging the gaps.

When he took her to that baseball game, a dust storm caused everything to end short- they rush home to hunker down. Murphy accidentally leaves her window open and that's when Cooper and Murphy discover a gravitational anomaly which is responsible for the entire theme behind the movie.

Dr. Brand pleads with Cooper- "love is the one thing we are capable of perceiving that transcends the dimensions of time and space"

Two nights ago my Dad in a buzzed state divulged to me something he doesn't normally feel comfortable talking about. He passed out once on the highway and veered off the road. He calls it a miracle- the car and himself were unharmed despite driving off the highway over 70mph.

What spurred the conversation was my trying to glean insights of intelligence beyond 3D linear experience. Even though he didn't have the patience(alcohol) to receive information, he did transmit this quite clearly... He thinks that life goes on after we die and that experience is simply, "another form." He asked, what if beings with strong enough will can influence our life here? Saying he believes it was his Mother who protected him from getting in a crash and he actually received a message when he passed out which was to proceed with getting his heart surgery.

He didn't have much more in him at the time- message delivered. But I continued to stumble on things that would extend the conversation... Being guided by interest and a loving, intelligent force.

https://youtu.be/UnURElCzGc0

The tesseract, toroidal field and spherical wormhole another synchronicity...

This clip below has just a few segments cut from it but I especially love how Tars' voice changes over time to suggest Cooper is communicating with the 5D beings...

https://youtu.be/nrVpYwUFewU

So I really do believe we are communicating with Beings we can't ordinarily perceive- that it is out of love and quite possibly because we are all of God. So this is considered an ultimate service... And it is rewarding, magic...

I found my self saying this to our friends at the GTC(speaking of service)...
I only hope others realize how majestic life is, and am often saddened when people speak in absolutes in a way that diminishes or puts limits on our experiences derived from the subconscious/superconscious state of being.

It's great how mysterious it is, and I hope to help others-that help isn't so much as trying to define reality but merely help create excitement around the possibility of an elevated perception.

And I hope I can continue to enjoy, maybe even come closer... I once saw the energetic residue of Raphael as he freed me from a unique experience... There is way more to life than linear 3D experience- and way more to the subconscious and superconscious states than simply being some "accumulated gunk gathered from the day" as if it has no interconnection or inter-being.

Well... If you've enjoyed the clips here is the end scene from the movie.

Thanks and ...

https://youtu.be/7A3rreNFr3w

.... ❤ Thanks be to God.
#325
Yes, thank you!

I just rewatched this little clip that suggest why dying is a gift.

https://youtu.be/iGI2vyp8z2c

I hope others watch it and share their thoughts. I do feel connected to others and I don't think others are always aware of how connected we are. At one point in my life I worked in a store where I experienced miracle after miracle... People triggered intuition, past life memories, and weird remote viewing experiences.

It was during this time I experienced an OBE while meditating. I thought the experience was maybe 20 minutes but it was something like 2 + hours went by- the whole experience was just witnessing this orb of immense and fine vibrating light descend slowly into my body- in complete silence- no sound. But once the orb went into my body I could hear my breath and came back to immediate consciousness(3D space). Really trippy that 2 hours had passed! I would share this experience mentally, with every customer in my store. Wishing them the same sensations and seeing our greater connection.

But all of this to say, the people themselves weren't aware that they were triggering these moments. Maybe it was the location triggering these experiences? I thought during that stage in my life that after we leave our small earth bodies that our consciousness is gifted an entire planet- maybe an entire universe. Anyways... I had a friend trigger thoughts that we were children barefoot playing in red sand, leaning against mud huts.

I had a woman coworker who I desperately longed for physically and emotionally trigger remote viewing and realized she was a wife at some point in my past life- and she wanted nothing to do with me in this life! LOL

So... My Dad.. Whom I had this convo with- was completely unaware of this convo taking place... My Mother and Father only acknowledge the idea of angels and out of body experiences rarely and are most private about that kind of stuff.

I often think joining the great self is a dissolution of material... Thus my username. I have experienced this and felt it- but have been saddened by it. I think my Ego is a great contender and a necessity for experiential wisdom... That being said, it fears utter dissolution...  I also think I share a history with fallen angel dynamic and was on the side of rebelling against God or natural systems... Strange because all I want in this life are natural paths. But a part of me realizes that death is not really death and there is so much joy and bliss in experiencing something so encompassing and omnipresent.

.....and these are my caffeinated and drifting thoughts for the morning
:-D

Your post is making me want to go back and review my initiation dream... Because I think there were heavy in between life moments being relayed to me... Thank you!