projection failure

[the_demigod]

I went through a rabid/obsessive 2-year period of intense work on projecting.
NOTHING. Still stuck.

BUT--I have progressed with a lot of other stuff and have gained a stoical attitude that "sooner or later it will work for me" and made myself a promise that if something IS blocking my progress, there will be plenty of PAIN and blood and guts for whatever that "thing" is. I'm a vengeful bastard at heart--if I don't mess with people [or things] they shouldn't mess with me. Otheriwse--payback is a bi***.

I messed with tapes and CD's and the only result is--I lost some control over my development. How or why don't matter, lets just say the CD's had some weird effects on me, but NO obe's materialised.
I gotta be a cynic here and state openly--most tapes rely on sublimial messages, and you or I got NO CLUE what those messages REALLY ARE and whether there actually ARE any messages or they talk about OBE-ing.

Last 18 months I cooled down considerably and am doing what and when I can development-wise, BUT I have also focused on having a serious CAREER on "this" Earth--otherwise I'd be up sh**-creek, ie no career and still stuck in body, ie a life failure.

There is one aspect I'm not sure of--I MIGHT be projecting but I got no recollection...................
Oh, I kinda disagree with the idea that my "double" is doing the projecting whereas my primary self remains in the body--if that WAS the case, then I probably have had hundereds OBE's and................ but it gets depressing here.

So, I believe I will be a success OBE story when my primary self OBE's [here I lean towards the Huna approach to division of subconscious and conscious mind plus the higher self, making up the complete threesome].

Oh, and Bardon's approach to OBE's kinda "puts the spanner in the works" as well...

For now I'm in a 3-way race:
- make a million $ based on some good ideas I got;
- become a full Professor before age 35 based on my current career;
- OBE and outgrow this sad planet;

or
- complete Bardon's training and convert lead into gold and acquire my million $ that way, which will allow me to realise my ideas and BUY a professorship. Simple--my life sorted. All I need is to add a single electron to an atom. LOL

Vendi, Vidi, Vici, Mucho denero.
[I came, I saw, I conquered, I got paid--my mercenary motto]

[rodentmouse]

hello to the people

lately ive been quite down because i havent been making any progress in my training what-so-ever....

It seems that i do the same thing every night,   but never get any further than raising energy-  (which has been pretty poor recently since i keep falling asleep)

I  am now buying  anything i can which even in the smallest way  relates to astral projection,   just to  fuel my enthusiasm.    

ive noticed that some people find that if they take a break,  they feel  better when they get back into it,   but  with me its different.  With me  i feel that if i dont raise my energy and activate my chakras once a day- then i am slacking.
Its as if im addicted to it and get frustrated when it doesnt happen  (e.g. recently)

Does anyone ever feel like this???   what do you do about it???

I absolutely cannot lose interest in  projecting now,  its a part of my life.