For women

[Kazbadan]

What is the problem with games? They are just part of natural evolution. The most part of mamals play that games, they are just part of their life. Even if say that not, with humans same thing  happens, at low or high degrees.

When younger, i used that teasing in a incounscious way. Now i use it counscious. What´s the difference? I still being myself and acting like normal but sometimes, hen in the presence of someone that interests me, i will "throw" some tease. Just some "hints" like sugar in a couple of tea, enough to make it taste better.

About what you refered related with me, you are correct. Now i am starting to be a more self-confident person, all based on my efforts without the help of nobody (i should say more: some people instead of helping or making nothing would rather prefer try to destroy my self-confident...many times), but when younger, due to many aspects of my stupid life i was completly dumb, and with great lack of self-confidence. I was pretty much more insecure than now.

For this reasons i like to help insecure and shy people, particulary the ones that are poked by others (because they have any handicap, mentaly or physically). I know how it´s being on that side (not that i am in a particular side).

About what you said on the fact that i must like i am, without teasing, i disagree. I know for my self-experience (years of trying without sucess) that girls will be flying aways from me if i start to be the shy and quiet guy that i am. I prefer to be more "agressive". At least, in few weeks, that change as give me more sucess. I am sure if i will offend you, but what you say it´s only things that happens in romantic movies.

Life is far more agressive than that. We live in a world made of blood, iron and tears, not in an astral heaven.

I am starting to understand that, in respect to womens, the next expression aplys perfectly: "Better reign in Hell than live in heaven", if you know what i mean.

BTW. thanks anyway with your concerns about me. Really, but dont worry because i have surpassed that many poblems that you speak of. If you sense any insecurity on me, or lack of self-confident, that is because i am refering to my past, not the present days. thanks

[Lighthouse]

Kaz,

I see the same thing as Atalanta.  She is right... we all suffer from this in one form or another.  The solution is to dig deep and find the source of your insecurities.  "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."--Eleanor Roosevelt. This is very true.  I too saw myself as an "Ugly Duckling" and through accepting myself completely, now I see myself as a feminine, sexy woman... and men respond accordingly.  No games, no aloof tricks, I am who I am, but in being who I am, I accept myself completely (well... almost [].) It is because of the way I view myself that I am well loved by many men... Not sexually in all cases, but well loved just the same... and I LOVE men ... they pick up on that too, I don't see men as toys or someone to tease, I just love men... Period.

Every thought we have is sent out into the universe and the universe brings us the experiences of our thoughts... so that we can see what we are thinking.  Our minds are our most powerful tools which is why we must take charge of our thoughts.  If you see yourself as a suave, debonaire James Bond, then that's what you will portray to the outside.  Women will respond accordingly but is that the image you really want to portray?  I see the character, James bond as an arrogant, aloof womanizer.  If you see yourself as completely lovable, down to the depths of your soul and portray that to the outside world, that will be the expreience you draw.  You will draw women who will love you and who will touch the depths of your soul.

I don't mean to toot my own horn (well... maybe a little []) but about 6 years ago, I went through a wonderful growth spurt spiritually where I recognized my divinity and started fully accepting myself.   Immediately following the experience, I felt guided to document it and created a workshop based on the experience.  The workshop I wrote is free and it is out on the internet.  Please read through it because it outlines a process of self acceptance and the steps that I went through to get to the point where I am.  It is called Uncovering the Divine Within and the entire workshop is on my website at www.healingcenter.com.   I have gotten the most amazing emails from people all over the world who have stumbled upon my website and have truly had remarkable results in self acceptance and healing.  It is my main desire in life to help as many people as possible to fully love and accept themselves and if it can help you, I will feel so richly rewarded.

Love & Life,
Kerri

[Kazbadan]

Acting like bond was just a word that i used to resume something that is a bit diferent. No one understands that i still be myself and act like i want and how i feel. Acting like bond or something it is just like learning to ride a bycicle. It just another skill. I feel confortable and i feel myself as normal. Besides that i can show deep feeling and show how my inner being is to other womens.

In the very begining of course that i my show the surface- everybody does it to unknown persons - but i will gradly show the deeper areas of my soul. And i can steel actin like bond or something (bond was just the example: i act by being fun and sometimes arrogant in a funny kiding and teasing way).

Most important of all i can have sucess wiht womens and they still being seeing my deep, not only the surface.

But recently it started to grow up a new problem (should i call it problem ?)

More and more i am loosing the need of being with anyone. I just want to be left alone. I dont see my self in the future with any one more to share it. I think i like being myself alone -just me and nature. I feel goood like that.

Sometimes i go in bycicle to the river near my home. I just sit in the grass near it, under some trees. The silver river, the clouds, the whisperings of the wind over the branches and the blue sky are all hat i need to be good. Even a single leap of a tree, any little rock or just an anonymous wave in the river, are big enough to make me happy. There is no need of a women. Is this normal?

To me i am starting to think that it is. I think that the ideal (emotionaly) kind of life for me is starting to get designed in front of my eyes: live in harmony with nature and, when some instinctive need come across me (you get it: sex) the best thing to do is just join me for some few days with a friend (female) that accepts this idea. Someone that it just cares for some sex. This femal presence may vary according to the opportunitys and my taste. It´s a like a Don Juan: one day one girl, another week other girl, etc.

What about friendship? The ideal it is just have some good friends (doesnt matter if is femal or male in here) and have fun with them.

Why i am having this changing in attitude? To me sounds normal, but people just want to show me that it is not...(wll, i know that if i dont use preservative it is not very healthy...[]).

[James S]

Lighthouse,

What you described is just the thing I meant when I spoke of the beauty from inside. It's like a light that shines through from the soul, and no ammount of altering appearences, or putting on airs and graces can substitute for that inner beauty.

I see this as something that works equally well for both men and women. Especially for people like the two of us who can sense what is inside of a person, that beauty is far far more attractive than the perfect babe or hunk who is cold and shallow inside.

- James.

[kiauma]

Well said James.  While I attempted to give dimension to these qualities, your generalization conveys far more.  It is indeed inner beauty that makes all the difference.

[atalanta]

Kazbadan, now you are talking some real stuff!  Now you are sounding more attractive.  Sorry Birm and Kiauma, Kazbadan has finally got my attention!  []

Kazbadan, I wouldn't worry too much about wanting alone time.  I think everyone goes through phases like that.  I would have been happy to be a nun if I could have done it for two or three years.  I think there are times when we want to be deep and meaningful and other times when we just want to go at it like rabbits with no emotional connections, remorse or guilt afterwards.  I think alone time gives you a chance to process your life experiences, your emotions, thoughts, etc.  

This is what I meant about having to make a choice, risking being alone in order to achieve a higher self.  Because you can have a lot of shallow relationships and you will be just as alone.  You will probably know of people who got married just for the sake of not being alone and are now miserable.  To use one of your quotes, it may be great to reign over hell but hell has an expiry date.  In the end your soul is extinguished and no one will remember you even existed.  Developing your higher self will attract a person who is looking for someone to really share a physical, emotional and spiritual life with.  It will bring out the worst and the best in you, but more than anything you will know you are alive and real.  Not many people get to feel that.

To answer Gwathren, what Kazbadan has written this second time is what I think women want.  They want a person with emotional and spiritual depth.

[Birm]

WOMEN!!! CAN NEVER MAKE A DECISION AS YOU SEE!!![!]

(btw Why am i yelling???) [8D]

[Nay]

Hehehe, don't lump all us women into that category Birm..[]

Nay

[atalanta]

Sorry Birm, I can't help it, you see...gosh, this is so hard to talk about...I will finally reveal a deep dark secret about myself.  Not many people know this, I have kept it secret.  Well, you see I am part human and part animal.  From the waist up I look just like everyone else but from the waist down, I'm, I'm, a...rabbit!  [:O] []  []

See you in the fields.[:X] [}:)] []

[Kazbadan]

I think i am missing something because of my english....

Why do you say that Atalanta cannot make a  decision?! Why does she answer like if she is not?!

And...You are a rabbit?!! Jesus!! I am an hare! What a coincidence...[]

[atalanta]

Kazbadan, in a couple of posts back when I was replying to you I said,

I think there are times when we want to be deep and meaningful and other times when we just want to go at it like rabbits with no emotional connections, remorse or guilt afterwards.

So I was picking up on that and joking about it.

A hare eh, my mother told me to stay away from hares.  She said something about them being too cheeky, too fast and she didnt trust those long ears.  Then again, who ever listened to their mothers! []

[Kazbadan]

There is one question that is still being not completly answered...and i want an honest answer even if it is some how unusual: how much percent of importance do you give (you womens) to the body? How much goes to the personality?

BTW ATALANTA: Don´t listen to your mom, because this morning when i woke up ther was this messahe in my computer "Follow the white rabbit!". Are you the white rabbit?!

[atalanta]

Kazbadan, I think women are attracted to different things in guys at different times.  If you are just going out for fun, you may be 70% interested in looks and 30% personality.  However, if you are searching for a life partner it may be 70% personality and 30% looks.  It depends on what you want and I think that goes for guys as well.  

I think also for women who want a serious relationship, unless they, they women, have a lot of money or are professionals, I think that most women in the back of their heads still look for someone who is financially secure.  They don't have to be rich but not broke either.  You can't blame women for that though because if you think about it, they are most likely to stop working because of illness or babies and then where is the money going to come from.  

I know of one woman who married a guy who is really lazy, they now have two children and she works to support him and the children.  That is a woman's nightmare.  For myself, I suffered illnesses some time ago which stopped me from working and then my father had a stroke so I started to look after my parents, niece and nephew so my sister could work.  So in my particular case, finding a partner who is healthy, hardworking and a professional person is important.  I don't have the strength to look after one more person, I need someone to take care of me for a change.

The reason I say this is to say that each case is different.  People have weaknesses and they look for someone who has complimentary strengths to balance things out a little.  Its hard to make blanket statements.  Not all women want rich guys, or smart guys, or deep spiritual guys, etc.  It depends on what your situation is and what attracts you.  

By the way, when I was making the remark about being a half rabbit, its funny because I had an image of a big fluffy white rabbit!  You must be psychic Kazbadan! [8D]  You can follow the white rabbit Kaz but theres no guarrantee that you won't get bitten.  [][]

[Birm]

atalanta,

Great post!

Thanks
.
.

[Kodemaster]

This sure is a loaded question...LOL

The main things I seek are sensitivity; no macho axe to grind or I'm completely turned off. I highly prefer an artistic, spiritual type with a lot of soul. He must be very warm, be energetic and love to have fun!!! I prefer someone who is not into spectator sports, or at least is only marginally into them.

I happen to love cars, gadgets, video games and technology; would love to meet a guy who is also.

My main turn offs are liars, cheaters, control freaks, and verbal abusers, of course.

Another important thing is that he's a no-nonsense type who hates sappy movies and music, and loves or at least has a tolerance for the avant-garde, and has a demented sense of humour.

Motivated with big dreams is a big plus, too...and doesn't want to have children.

[Kodemaster]

quote:Originally posted by Nay

Hehehe, don't lump all us women into that category Birm..[]

Nay

I second that...that also goes for people (Not on here) who say that all women want men for their money...or don't care about a sense of humour.

[atalanta]

Kodemaster,

I am glad you mentioned this about women and money.  I wasn't sure if I had made myself clear and I had been wondering what people might think about that.

I wanted to clarify that I don't think that women look just for money in a guy.  I use to have this argument with my sister.  I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them.  However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first.  I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers.  You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one.  You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.  

There is an old Marilyn Munroe film, I think it was called How to marry a Millionaire.  Marilyn and a couple of other women move to the city, rent an expensive apartment and begin to hunt for rich guys.  Marilyn ends up with a rich guy and when she meets his reluctant father she says something like this to him.  She says to him that she is an orphan but if she had a father, she is sure her father would want her to have the best, so what is wrong with her wanting it and demanding it for her self.

There is a lot of sociologists out there blaming all sorts of things for society's problems, in my mind there is a single reason why things have gone downhill.  Women don't believe they are worthy of love, security or happiness.  Our families use to demand it for us.  They would make sure that our future husbands came from 'good stock'.  Then with the revolution when women suddenly had choice, they didn't know how to demand the best for themselves.  They could demand the best in terms of work and education but for some reason not in relationships.  Relationships are in certain ways like contracts.  For some reason women think its okay to get a lesser deal.  In any other situation the lawyer would have been fired.  

Love is great, but diamonds are a girls best friend...[:X]

[Blackstream]

About halfway into the post it was asked what do guys look for in women.  For me it's pretty simple

Looks
Intellect
Personality

I'm not going to lie to myself, looks matter.  I've had sex now so I know they don't matter as much as I had originally thought (and even then it wasn't all imporant).  I need to be physically attracted to the girl for me to be able to like her.  It's just a fact of how my mind works.

As for intellect, I need to be able to talk to her.  If she is dumb, it feels like I'm dating a hot 12 year old or something.  I need to be able to converse with her on various subjects.  Preferably even talk to her about complex abstract things and my programming projects and stuff, but I'm not that picky.

Personality?  I could give a grocery list, but it's pretty simple when you think about it.  Good natured, aggressive, witty, thoughtful, nice... blah blah.  There are many different personalities that work for me, and a few that absolutely do not.  Things that don't are people that are cold biatches... can't stand that.  Obviously people that would end up hating my family, friends, or things I believe in (such as Christianity or my forays into AP).  Ect ect.

The best way to describe it is that there is no set of things I look for. It's more like, this thing gives a plus and this thing gives a minus.

My dream girl would probably be a hot asian girl that has a college degree and likes to play computer games, watch anime, and messes around with stuff like astral projection and energy gathering and stuff.

Obviously, the chances of me getting someone that fits exactly into that mold are somewhere between 1 in a million to winning the lottery 20 weeks in a row, so I basically just go on instinct when converning wether or not I like a girl.  But if I wanted to really analyze whether or not I liked her, it invariably falls into the above 3 categories where at least 2 and almost certainally 3 categories ahve to be met for me to take interest in a girl.

So that concludes my paper.  Any questions?  In all honesty, I could fall in love with a cute girl with some bouce in attitude before I know her name, so the above is just guidelines :p

[Nay]

quote:I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them. However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first. I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers. You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one. You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.

 

If this was the case, I would choose NOT to marry either of them.. [^] I'm certaintly not afraid to live alone, I just got lucky..no, take that back..I was BLESSED to have found the man I have today. []

Nay []

[atalanta]

Nay, he sounds good.  What does he think of harems and polygamy?! []

[Eol007]

quote:Originally posted by Nay

quote:I would not marry anyone if I wasn't in love with them. However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first. I think most women would but that doesn't make them gold diggers. You may fall in love with a daydreamer and that is fine, but you will have to accept that your life is going to be a difficult one. You will have to go without, you will have to pick up the workload that he isn't willing to do, you will have to put up with a life-time of broken promises and commitments, etc.

 

If this was the case, I would choose NOT to marry either of them.. [^] I'm certaintly not afraid to live alone, I just got lucky..no, take that back..I was BLESSED to have found the man I have today. []

Nay []

Ha ha,

Shall we rename this the Venus & Mars thread [)]
S []

[Kodemaster]

quote:Originally posted by atalanta


However, if I had a choice of being in love with a financially secure person, who is hardworking and works as a professional or someone who is uneducated, has no ambition, a daydreamer and poor, I would choose the first.  

Agreed. Motivated is a must; that's what I meant about "big thinker"...either wants to have his own business, or make it as a musician, filmmaker, actor, writer, scientist, doctor, physicist, etc...wants to go "all the way" in life...and I'm not referring to the other interpretation of that phrase

If he just wants to sit around Rome, NY all day munching on pizza and squirting out kids, fughhadaboutit. (Not that I have anything against kids, of course...I personally would just rather tour the world than "settle down")

Educated is a must. A clean-cut businessman with an artistic flair would be perfect...a graphic designer perhaps? That is what I went to school for after all.

[Kodemaster]

My ideal (but taken) man:

http://chris.pirillo.com

Used to host "The Screen Savers" on TechTV. Got his start in the entertainment world by creating the renowned Lockergnome.com

Why he would be perfect for me:

He's absolutely adorable
He's extremely energetic
Has an awesome sense of humour
Is extremely intelligent
Loves technology

Of course, I'll never meet him, and if he reads this, he'll probably think I'm insane... LOL [}:)]

Some cute piccies:

http://www.kangarose.com/tss/images/ChrisLeo1.jpg
http://lilivonschtupp.com/liliimages/msgne/chris.jpg
http://images.linspire.com/mobilepc/pic0.jpg
http://www.therightersbox.com/images/Tim_with_Chris_Pirillo.jpg

And my all time favourite:


Here's to hopin'...LOL []

[Nay]

quote:Originally posted by atalanta

Nay, he sounds good.  What does he think of harems and polygamy?! []

Hahahahaha!!  I'm not sure how he feels about it, but I know how I feel about it..[}:)]

Smiles~ Nay []

P.S. I added to my sig, what cha think?..LOL

[Gwathren]

quote:Originally posted by runlola

Gwathren


yes, this is very true. The game IS everything.





[:I]

Oh great!
I got it right!