Ok, so because I believe, I am crazy?

[beavis]

you also must accept the person that you are, mentally

or change yourself to what you want to be

[Leannain]

it's impossible for a person to change what it is.
you're bound to be what you are due to your genetic code.it's not possible to change the genetic code after the person  is born.

[beavis]

I was built by genetics, and genetics gradually heal injuries, but a brain can diverge far from where it started. You can find examples in insane asylums. Some of them, I've heard, are insane in some areas and geniuses in others. But a person doesnt have to start insane to become insane. I've heard anti-psychotic pills can make people insane.

[Leannain]

normal persons can't become what  Einstein,newton,Alexander the great were by their own will power.these giants  were born to be genius.

so become what you want to be,it's  impossible and those cases of  people becoming genius in some areas must have something to do with  mutations within the genetic code

[Telos]

4) Enjoy exercising.

5) Exercise enjoyment.

[Smilodon29A]

If you think it is not possible, then it is not - for you.

They are not born to be like they were.
Rather they were influenced by their parents, surroundings, friends, books they read etc...

Do not limit your potential by thinking that you could never achieve anything.

[Leannain]

I'm not saying i can't achieve anything,after years of trying and positive thinking if that even has some influence..i still haven't become what  i want to be.
knowing me i can say i can achieve normal things,live a normal life,be a normal person,average etc
ah those gods of mankind,newton etc well some of these genius didn't even had any contact to any kind of education system but the

(like the case of the amazonian Indian who with only one old math book solved  problems that many famous math teachers tought it was impossible to solve) what I'm saying is i can't achieve greatness by my own free will,  by thinking i can do it,simply by wanting to,or trying to, i simply like most people don't have what it takes to do what i really want to do /to be.

i for example was always very very very very bad at maths no matter how much i tried how much energy i put into become at least average in maths it never solved my problem with maths

so again my point of view in my case at least is proved

[Smilodon29A]

Yeah I think we actually have a same point of view.

All I'm saying is that all of us could do great things, if we were influenced from the beginning.

The problem is that the society fancies "normal" people.
Almost all great people get laughed at at some point or the other.

[Telos]

Leannain, I don't believe that people are "just bad" at certain things. You just never had the motivation to learn math properly, and that's not your fault. I'm not sure what the schools are like in Portugal, but here the U.S. math education is severely lacking in both meaning and purpose.

A couple years ago, I underwent a full psychological examination and was diagnosed with "mathematics disorder." Contrast that with the fact that, when I was much younger, I was the best math student in my class, to the point where the teacher felt compelled to give me extra work. What happened? Math got real boring. To be fair, it was boring then, but as a child for some reason it was easier to make things fun. To sum up, I haven't been exposed to situations where math was meaningful, and I am frustrated by meaningless math examinations.

So, coming from someone who is "officially" disabled in math, let me tell you that you're probably not disabled in math. You just had really bad teachers.

My roommate freshman and junior year was a student who wants to be a math teacher. He is even more disdainful of the state of math education than I am.

[Leannain]

HM Portugal   is ranked by the EU as the country with the lowest  education system heh..

but nonetheless  since  i started school  since the first year i had troubles with math, i had extra lessons trough the years but i never managed to get a positive @ a math exam no matter how hard i study.
of course i had the motivation to learn it,hell if i didn't learn it i'd get seriously *** up by my parents =D anyway jokes aside, i don't blame it on the teachers or the education system all teh other student no matter how much they hated or liked maths they still managed to pass  the problem is me =)

telos,mate,Einstein was held by his teachers,his parents,everyone aside him as a retarded person because he had very low grades at school lol.funny thing though his grandfather said he was bound to do great things. (i lost teh link to this funny story  :roll)
in my opinion Albert's low grades at school are explained by the fact that he was/is so far superior to the people around him that the things he was supposed  to learn at school bored his mind so much that he didn't care about it.

[Telos]

of course i had the motivation to learn it,hell if i didn't learn it i'd get seriously *** up by my parents =D anyway jokes aside, i don't blame it on the teachers or the education system all teh other student no matter how much they hated or liked maths they still managed to pass the problem is me =)

Part of the problem with the educational system is that it herds students (who have diverse interests) into situations where everyone is expected to have exactly the same interests at exactly the same time. As such, educators use material that they know will give a "normal distribution" of grades... some high at the top, others low at the bottom, but most in the middle.

I say that mindset is bunk.

Everyone is genius when guided by their own interests. If you were properly inspirited, you could be Einstein tomorrow. I know that is a somewhat lofty claim, but I can't keep myself from making it.

[Leannain]

heh in that case the world would be full  of genius, telos  

true there are people who have a gift for i dunno music while being ver bad at languages

others are very good at languages but bad at music
the education system should focus on each person "gift" to develop it instead of trying to fill people's mind with things that the person will not use in his life
but thats just my opinion and if the governaments did that they would spend  a lot of money so i aint seeing that happen

[Telos]

heh in that case the world would be full  of genius, telos  ;)

It is! Unfortunately, "collective genius" can sometimes be an oxymoron, no?

the education system should focus on each person "gift" to develop it instead of trying to fill people's mind with things that the person will not use in his life

Absolutely.

but thats just my opinion and if the governaments did that they would spend  a lot of money so i aint seeing that happen

Ironically, I think they'd spend less money. It would have to mean freeing students to discover their own gifts. And I don't see the government giving students more freedom anytime soon. They'll still be treated like animals.

[heter]

Just thought I'd let you guys know, I'm not a girl and my name is not Heather. I'm 15 and I'm a guy. I have been trying to improve myself in the past 2 years and have succeeded to an extent, but as soon as people have told me I'm ugly and as soon as I started getting disrespected (around the time I started high school a few months ago) I went downhill from there. I found that the reason I might be so sensitive is due to either Having Introversey, or Body Dysmorphic Disorder. http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/peacelovehope/bdd.html

I sort of see myself as a freak no matter how I look. I don't have many people to rely on my family, just My brother and my sister, and they are out of the state. My mom would not be able to send me to "get help" because she supports me on her Husbands money, and he wouldn't want to waste it like that.

[karnautrahl]

The maths thing in part is a matter of imagination and how you perceive the whole concept of maths. I was distinctly average at maths. Yet concepts were easy enough,  I just didn't have the patience to attempt to apply them.
I've taken (even though I'm 27 now and don't *need* it) a few private lessons with a decent mathamatician who uses it all the time in his job. My first lesson got me through the basic concepts of calculous and why certain functions were -1 to +1 etc, in the process he explain radians to me.  In an hour and a half, the time flew because we were both real interested in what we were doing!.   Maths is hard unless you suddenly get interested and find an approach, a way in.

I found programming totally incomprehensible, until a damned decent teacher managed to connect and explain it. Turns out he was kinaesthetic primarily too.
A way in mentally is all you need, usually a real good one on one teacher. I'd say more but I'm real drunk here )

[atalanta]

Heter,

Please don't feel alone in this.  You can do something about this.  You don't have to suffer it and if you are young doing something sooner than later is vital.  Don't let it become an entrenched behaviour because then it becomes part of your psyche, it sort of becomes your personality and it is harder to treat.

I don't know where you are from, but if you check out hospitals they usually have outpatient clinics where they run individual and group therapies for disorders like these.  Universities also have clinics.  Apart from this, you can also see your local doctor who can refer you to such a clinic.  If the short term behavioural treatments don't work, don't get phased because there are other treatments which may suit you better, its just that they tend to be longer term.  

In Australia we have a service called Lifeline which is a phone service for people who are in crisis, however, they also have a great knowledge of free available services.  I am sure that wherever you are there will be a service like that.  Also, since you are 15, hospitals and other organisations tend to take that into account and offer free services.

Honestly, I think your parents would prefer to be poor and know that their son is alive and well.  Don't let the disorder twist your thinking around and make you think otherwise.  No parent would prefer to go to their child's funeral than pay for a therapist!

I do believe in you and your ability to heal and it will begin with you doing a search of the services available.  If this is too hard, then write to me privately and I will do a search for you.

Please believe me it will get better and that it is not how you look but what you think about how you look.

[Graelwyn]

I am sorry, but why all the labels? The way to deal with this isnt to give yourself a bunch of labels... it is rather to simply learn all you can about yourself and to accept the way I am. I used to go around looking up what various things I might be...but realised, it doesnt matter! You work on the parts you can work on and you do it for yourself. None of the disorders you list are irreparable or life threatening... And also, in the end the only person who can do anything about your issues is YOURSELF! One can have endless therapists who can listen and advise, but unless you start actively doing the work, you will remain the same and continue to spew out these labels. You are slightly different to most, so what? Everyone is unique and special in their own way...learn to understand yourself and accept the way you are, because in the end, it matters not one iota what others think of you if you cannot love and respect yourself.

[atalanta]

Graelwyn,

The simple truth is that there is a purpose to diagnoses, it helps people distinguish what they are talking about, in this case;

depression is not sadness
social phobia is not the same as just being shy.
agoraphobia is not the same as being a home body.
anxiety is not the same as being a worrier.
eating disorders is not the same as someone wanting to just be slim.

Etc...

Any of these without treatment progressively get worse and can cause death.  In constrast, being sad, shy, a home body, worrier, wanting to be slim, etc, are things any individual can work on by themselves.

I think that in an attempt to not label people and be politically correct sometimes we can end up ignoring people and problems and end up being more cruel.  If a person has a physical disorder, there doesn't seem to be as much controversy about that.  No one says, lets not label the thing in your body as cancer, you just need to figure or work on your problems alone, don't waste your time with doctors...etc.  Why is that?

[Smilodon29A]

People will defiantly judge you all the time.

The more popular you are the more they will judge you, because then you are more in the spotlight.

Just do the exercises suggested, and don't give a excrement what they think of you.
Soon you will learn they are too preoccupied of what you think of them.

And stop labeling yourself !

[karnautrahl]

I'm glad that the 3 doctors and the psychiatrist who all really believed I should use antidepressants of various kinds were wrong in my case. The problem with labels and definitions is that they get these things wrong tooo often.  And that they are not recommending any multidisciplinary approaches - at least not in my case.

Maybe they should consider creating places of peace and variety for those patients who do seem to need that help, places where multiple disciplines from dietary and nutritional, to sports, social, educational/work and healing practices are all combined.

[Psan]

Don't listen to what psychiatrists say.  

That branch of science remains most underdeveloped of all. (IMHO)
Just as there are a huge variety of human bodies, there are many kinds of minds.

If you assume the variance of human bodies from a (hypothetical)standard to go say from -75% to +75%, you can assume that the variance of minds from a (hypothetical)healthy mind, goes -200% to +200%.

Nature needs all the variety, you know.
Those minds which don't fit are naturally deselected. Thats the ultimate treatment for 'mental disorders'.

[sweetbliss]

I entirely subscribe to what Beavis said, lol:

Thats what a schizoid is? Sign me up! I wanna be a schizoid.

And Beavis, I had similar experiences with books as a kid, too.

I had a book with no page numbers on any of the left pages. I checked 50 pages and paid much attention because I thought it was weird. 2 days later I found that most pages have page numbers, and they're still there now.

I used to read some lines, then get some food or think a bit, and, when coming back, the text was different. It happened a few times. Interesting was that I remember that I had read the lines more then once the first time, so I was quite sure of their meaning lol.
Recently I've heard that this kind of tricks are Angel Gabriel's signs, because he controls matter and the elements, also, creates links between the unconscious and the conscious mind (he is the messenger   ), also they are signals that what we call reality is not the most stable and 'real' manifestation of the collective being. So, sort of... "You are in a cage, have you considered this possibility? Try to see the real. It will be more fun!"

Heter, you have received a lot of good answers, and see that most of the people who are sending replies to you are very much sympathizing with you, and also, they do not consider you a medical case   . Also, these people (if you check their other messages or the level of this forum as a whole) are good and well educated people, who have as well interests in spirituality and the subtle psychic dimension as normal lives and professions. So, compared to what your colleagues say (and they are confused 15 year old kids, too   ), which company and thought would you appreciate more? (Oh, please... be nice and say that ours   !!!)

And, has anyone seen K-PAX? I loved it! Also, it shows that patients are not always what they are labeled for and that psychiatrist have a good chance, if initiated by the proper person (in this case an alien lol).

(Atlanta, sorry for this humor, I agree that there are very good psychiatrists, but also a lot of fraud and that many people are being terribly mislead). Actually I have showed this thread to some friends yesterday (persons both meditative and with a usual social life) and they also agreed. One is preparing to become a Jungian analyst. So...

Heter, you should gather your strength, face your-self (not the others, they are not that important) and get over it. Some martial arts are good, I would suggest Aikido, because it emphasizes the peace and the inner insight, not the aggressiveness. Or try other balancing stuff, meditation (The Body disorder you mentioned is psycho-somatic... , as many other symptoms the modern people suffer of, so a proper inner balancing is more effective then medication), or arts... I don't know, something that you would enjoy.

There are some theories today, and I agree to them, that there are more and more children being born with special spiritual abilities, which are over the 'normal' level of conscience, inborn spiritual little people so to say, which are diagnosed as autists, because they are not too interested in the usual way of reacting. Unusual to autists, they would also react to someone else's pain or suffering and try to bring comfort. I have met many such children, some from yogi families some from usual, hardly religious families, so I totally agree. How is that 4 year old children insist to go more often to the church or fast, though nobody in the family in interested in these?? And I'm not talking about bending tea spoons with the thought or levitating (I've never seen such things), but about a high interest in spirituality and a definite capacity to balance the people in the environment.

Telos, I would agree here also with the creating reality idea, as this kind of people change the society.

So a link I know is http://www.thecrystalchildren.com/
Read a bit and write to them, Heter, and ask the same question. You'll see that they will laugh at these labels and restrictions and will like you immediately.

[sweetbliss]

hehehe, even this SpellingCow has understood it, it wanted to replace 'autists' by 'artists'...

Heter, to warn you     , even after you'll have found yourself and a meaning of life and inner satisfaction (and this will happen ), there will be a lot of people wanting to change you. It happened to me: I've fantasized so often in my childhood about suicide, because I had been taught that there is no God (one of the benefits of a communist society), so I could see no meaning in life, no purpose. OK, I had my hobbies and I was learning well, but I could not live for getting good marks. It was a sort of autism, though I cannot compare myself with other people regarding the spiritual capacities. So, during these years of permanent depression, no one gave my the smallest advice about psychic comfort, spirituality, insight etc. They all seemed not to see anything, though they are educated people, what to say...? (Because people can sense the 'danger' and avoid getting into questions they cannot solve.) But after I have found a clear balance, my questions have been answered and I started appreciating my life... You see, then a lot of advices started pouring about me, all very 'wise' and 'sensible'. And they were all very concerned. Sometimes I also feel that spirituality can be more disregarded that death, though death is also a great taboo lol.

Oh, and I've always considered that I was looking terrible, though now I see this as a joke. And most of the people around me were not thinking the same. But, when you are not comfortable with your life experiences, you start hating the body. I feel it is like (subconsciously) you feel that the matter is not allowing the spirit or the subtler part of your being to manifest, but as long as you are not aware of means to enlighten this body and to make it the instrument of the spirit, than you feel that it is hindering you and this creates a great tension inside. Anorexia and other such disorders have this cause, this tension plus some family conflicts, sometimes.

Or we try to get out of the body, having OBEs for instance. this is also a tension, because there are people (of a high spiritual level, indeed, who can travel, on a mind or even physical level, without leaving the body). If we understand that this duality of mind and soul, on one side, and the body, on the other, is a mere illusion, then we don't need to split ourselves? Of course, everyone does what he decides it is best for him/her, but when we reach the final stages of understanding and development, there is no need for duality.

Hey, all the best to anyone, sorry for the long posts, but I really enjoy talking to you here

Ana-Maria

[VesAn]

You just gotta learn to like yourself, Heter.

 Do some aerobic exercises, if you need to lose some extra weight.  Muscle building exercises are good too, they certainly do help with your self image, especially when you start seeing results.  A couple of 10 or 15 pound dumbells is all you need to start.

 Get a new hair cut.  This is important.  Don't just get a hair style that everyone else happens to have, or the one you've always had, but one that you like.  I've seen good looking people go down right bad, and bad looking ones to attractive, simply because of a change in hair style.

 Other than that, just learn to not give too much weight to what people gossip about ya.

[beavis]

sweetbliss

I've fantasized so often in my childhood about suicide, because I had been taught that there is no God (one of the benefits of a communist society), so I could see no meaning in life, no purpose. OK, I had my hobbies and I was learning well, but I could not live for getting good marks.

If you will exist for 70 years, millions of years, or forever, how does that affect the meaning? You should still do what you want to do now.

For the meaning of life, see a dictionary. Its one of the biggest scams people have come to believe, that there is some meaning but nobody knows what it is, except for the preachers. They claim to know it too well. All they want is to conform you to their retarded beliefs. None of them know a meaning other than the one they made up, or took from somebody else who made it up.

If some "god" made up a meaning, its certainly been lost in the translation to your society. Be a good christian/whatever. Have sex with exactly 1 person. Spread the word of the translation of a translation. If thats true, I still reject it. I am nobodys slave.

</rant>

when you are not comfortable with your life experiences, you start hating the body. I feel it is like (subconsciously) you feel that the matter is not allowing the spirit or the subtler part of your being to manifest, but as long as you are not aware of means to enlighten this body and to make it the instrument of the spirit, than you feel that it is hindering you

Its true bodies and physical things distract spirits so much they usually cant choose to do the paranormal things they want to do.