Que Sera Sera, What will be will be

[ChopstickFox]

I think I'm pretty good at staying positive when I don't see any progress. I know everyone is right where they need to be. Things will happen when we are ready for it. But sometimes, I admit, it is frustrating for me. All this talking of intent and want. Yes, I want with all my heart. I can intend with every inch of myself. I know there is nothing to fear. So why can't I trick my body into falling asleep? Why can I never reach the point that sleep paralysis hits? I can watch the pictures in my mind swirl about, weaving in and out of little narratives. I feel myself on the brink. I stay relaxed and let it come. But then there's nothing.

I asked my guide today, after teetering on the bridge for quite a long time. Why was it that I could never pass that point? Again I was reminded that everyone is right where they are supposed to be. Experiencing what they're meant to experience. But why? If I'm not doing anything wrong... Then what? Am I supposed to just be satisfied? Such amazing experiences right there out of reach? He smiled and replied "que sera sera" What will be will be.

I got up, not wanting to lay there anymore. Grabbed my guitar and played the song of the same name. I had forgotten about it and how beautiful it was... I know I should be thankful for all the wonders and experiences I do have, though never from a completely wakeful state... and I am thankful. But sometimes it can be hard, too.

I really need to grow up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxewJrCjTbA&feature=youtu.be

[Volgerle]

Nice.

I was also given songs in dreams as answers to questions. When I looked up the lyrics more closely it always made some sense to me.

[Szaxx]

Hi K.
It's a message for you to understand. For some time I was in this exact position, drifting around the exit door and not able to get through. I stopped forcing myself through it. It cant be forced. I can get to the point where this big stop was in a couple of mins most times but simply stopped right there.
While the noises are shooting around and the lightshows displaying their nonsense, I found time to ask a question. Why do I need to wait?
I never really got an answer but something happened that I'll remember when the time is right. It works that way with me.
I gave up after that and left the attempts for a few days hoping to see this hidden answer. I never saw it, I tried again and caught a glimpse of the effects of how sleep affects your exit.
Up till this point I wasn't getting enough sleep at all and it answered the question in a way I understood. It was a WARNING.
I wasn't expecting that nor did anything seem out of place either. I got more sleep and then my daughter fell ill shortly after. I couldn't sleep properly for a few days with the stress of it all. Im glad I understood this wierd way of being shown.
It may be something related to your blockage. It certainly helped me. I haven't seen any guides in decades but they sure work in our favour.
Your post reminded me of this block, strange I know...

[Astralzombie]

What's your problem? Do you get some kind of kick out of making grown men want to cry for no reason?

Very Beautiful and melancholy.

[ChopstickFox]

Volgerie - I really couldn't have picked a better song. I mean... it's just about what I've been telling myself... it's a message I know, but I need to take more seriously, I guess...

Szaxx - It's good you were getting more sleep before that happened. I think part of my problem right now is that I am getting too much sleep. I go to sleep when I feel like it, wake up when I feel like it, no responsibilities... I mean, I try to be productive with writing/music and such... But I'm slowly finding myself in a rut. Then feeling guilty about it because I know I'll be going crazy once I'm back in America trying to put my life together. @_@ Just no balance. I know deep down that I am experiencing exactly what I should be experiencing... it's just hard not to get a little frustrated.

its_all_bad - Shouldn't you be somewhere else? And yep, you caught me red handed.

[Zagadka]

I know what you mean... I wish it was happening all the time! It's good that you know you are experiencing exactly what you should be experiencing. It's already a blessing that we have this ability to go out of body... right now I am having one powerful experience each month... but it's like it's never enough, but let's be grateful!

[Fairywindblues]

Funny you mentioned songs.  Last night, I was merely walking around in my dream, singing Somewhere from West Side Story on repeat. 

Try relaxing and letting go of expectations. Fall into the abyss without trying to force yourself in there.

I find that I enjoy being OBE and LD so much that I sometimes go about acting like I completely detest the physical and like I just want to get back into OBE and I want to do it NOWWW!!!

Once I step back and realize that my reasons (though they seemed pure), are selfish, in part, I find it easier to relax and let go enough to gain what I set out to gain.