Astral Cheating?

[The Doctor]

What do you do if your lover is having relationships with astral entities from other worlds? Is this cheating? I have heard a friend of mine has a husband that AP's into other dimensions (or at least claims too) and is in relationships with many people at once in different worlds, both romantic and sexual. Is this cheating? Or does the AP world work differently?

[nickspry]

I wouldn't consider it cheating. But if I was in a relationship, I wouldn't mention it to my partner in case they considered it was cheating. What you don't know know can't hurt you.
We're all individual souls at the end of the day, and it's normal to have aspects of ourselves that we don't share with anyone, even our partners. It's a safe bet that they're probably not telling you everything that goes on in their head, (and are probably wondering if they should) - whether in dreams, fantasies or projections. You have to draw the line in the physical I believe.

[NoY]

i think if you was inlove you wouldent sleep with aliens just coz you can get away with it


:NoY:

[nickspry]

Personally I never really understood the whole "committing yourself to one person forever" thing.  It's a product of religious dogma if you ask me, and goes against human nature. The whole idea is so crazy it could only happen in the physical plane.
The world should be one huge harmonious commune, with everybody having sex with whoever they please, and children raised by the whole community instead of devisive familly units. Call me an old hippie but.....(waffle...drone..)

[sublimy99]

Cheating is cheating! If your partner is open then tell them, if they object, refrain.
If you can't or won't refrain, get a partner that is open to it, because otherwise
you're still sneaking around. If you feel you should have openness in a relationship
and you think you should have sex with whom ever you want, you should pick
a partner that feels the same way. That theory of "what they don't know", is wrong
and it's sneaky. Most people who seek to AP are looking for higher guidance.
I don't think being a sneaking cheat, really fits in with that. If you are able to
leave your body and have sex in the astral then just stick to that, or like I said,
find a partner that is like minded and agrees with you. Then you are not sneaking
and can be open, not walking around with a secret all the time. You owe that much
to your significant other.

[nickspry]

I don't really agree that it's sneaky to retain some aspects of your life as private, especially non-physical aspects.  You have to draw a line somewhere. Is fantasizing cheating as well? As long as you're not physically cheating on someone the rest is out-of-bounds as far as I'm concerned. And if I was in a relationship I wouldn't be bothered by my partner enjoying that same privacy, which is a basic human right in my opinion. Anything else is thought-police territory.

[sublimy99]

If you don't mind if your partner does it, that's fine. I think you should both be aware.
If you're having sex with a "spirit" you're cheating on the ultimate level. If you don't
see that, then I guess they let  anybody out there. The fact that you don't think
it's cheating, speaks volumes about you. Are you making it out into that realm, because if you
are, I hope you're open to the lessons one should learn.

The astral plane is not some playground to get your rocks off in. It's about finding the true nature
of being. You are completely missing the point. Have at your fantasy, but when you enter the
astral realms you are at the very peak of "self" and if you are out there having sex while you
have someone you "supposedly" love next to you in bed, you are cheating them out of an
experience that should be shared with them, otherwise, remain alone!  Just because you tell
yourself you're not cheating, doesn't mean you're not cheating, you're just making yourself
feel better under false pretenses. I'm guessing you are alone, if not, I feel sorry for the person you're with.

[Capt. Picard]

The family structure is important to the proper raising of kids in my opinion.... I would not like to live with a bunch of superficial permiscuous sex freaks in a commune, the children would be raised with no moral fiber and would have to many questions (why was daddy kissing mom 5 minutes ago and this other random chick now?). Not to mention how much we could lose track of our family lines and eventually unknowingly inbreed. Anyways, could one consider Focus 2 cheating fine, but what about Focus 3? Supposedly those are real people not sub-councious creations, so would astral sex in F3 be considered cheating?

[The Doctor]

I must confess I was not 100% honest. It was not my friend, it was myself. My wife to be is with at least 3 different partners in astral planes. Some of these partners are character from videogames and television shows. I love her more than anything, and so when I ask her why she is with other entities, she said "they're not really me, they are my counterparts" as she takes over another person in that world. But she feels everything from the sexual acts that take place. I do NOT do this. I WOULD not do this. I am loyal to just one, and it is her. But she says it isn't cheating. And also, she tells me all the details of what she does with them. It breaks my heart because I love her so much. I cannot tell her not to AP because she lives most her life Split Projected into other planes and in most cases, all I ever hear about from her is her Astral lovers. And how she romances and sexes them. She has even told me she has children in other worlds.

Unyet she insists she isn't cheating on me.

[Capt. Picard]

It is most likely her astral partners are Focus 2 creations from her own mind, so in essence, it isn't any different that fanatasing about someone other than your partner. It seems weird that she would bother telling you that though, maybe you should tell her about your own fantasies so she sees how jealous that can make someone? Anyways, the point of astral travel is not to have sex, it is to learn about your spiritual side, maybe you should point out that she is being counterproductive by spending so much time on astral sex, of course, she probably dosen't think of you as an authority on the topic so she may think youre just trying to get her to stop having astral sex/projections.

[The Doctor]

It is most likely her astral partners are Focus 2 creations from her own mind, so in essence, it isn't any different that fanatasing about someone other than your partner. It seems weird that she would bother telling you that though, maybe you should tell her about your own fantasies so she sees how jealous that can make someone? Anyways, the point of astral travel is not to have sex, it is to learn about your spiritual side, maybe you should point out that she is being counterproductive by spending so much time on astral sex, of course, she probably dosen't think of you as an authority on the topic so she may think youre just trying to get her to stop having astral sex/projections.

So, basically, if her astral sex/relations are characters from games etc, these would be Focus 2 creations? As in a fantasy of sorts? Are all fictional characters in the AP world Focus 2?

[Capt. Picard]

I would say yes most likely, unless a focus 3 person was intentionally trying to appear as a fictional character. It is rarer but I think other entities can get into your Focus 2 territory, but I kinda doubt that is the case in your situation.

[The Doctor]

I would say yes most likely, unless a focus 3 person was intentionally trying to appear as a fictional character. It is rarer but I think other entities can get into your Focus 2 territory, but I kinda doubt that is the case in your situation.

This is a huge weight of my chest, thank you. My knowledge on the Astral World is small at best. I appreciate the help. If they are Focus 2 entities then I guess I shouldn't worry so much? Since it is merely a fantasy.

[nickspry]

If you're having sex with a "spirit" you're cheating on the ultimate level.

Maybe, but what if you're having sex with a creation of your own subconscious? Then it's just fantasy isn't it?
And it's a rare person who can put their hand on their heart and say that they've never fantasised about anyone other than their partner.

The astral plane is not some playground to get your rocks off in. It's about finding the true nature
of being.

Are you quoting from some astral rulebook here? To me it's a subjective experience, and no-one can dictate what it is or isn't about.

[CFTraveler]

I have a few things to say-
If it doesn't bother you that she fantasizes about sex with another men (such as actors, for example) then this should not bother you, so it depends on how jealous of that type of thing.

However, as to what nick was saying, (living in a commune, etc.) I have a few things to point out:
Yes, it is not 'natural' for most humans to be faithful to each other, but humans as a species, are 'serially monogamous', that is, they stay with one partner as long as there are young children, and after they have reached a certain age, move on to the next.  So humans are monogamous, but not 'for life'.
Each person is different- some people are more drawn to monogamy than others, and what is natural for you may not be natural for another- I'm not talking about cultural rules, I'm talking about genetics.  Some people are more prone to monogamy, and if they were able to match up with others that are like them, I'm sure there would be a little bit more harmony.
Communal sexuality is not 'natural' for humans (it is for some other primates, though)- because if humans lived in your described commune, incest would be an inevitable consequence of such a lifestyle- since parentage in such cases might be unknown.  That's why the monogamy in 'serial' monogamy.

Men tend to want to spread it around more than women- even those who are attracted to that kind of lifestyle, most women, once in it, realize they will become attached to one specific man over another (what is known as 'pair bonding') and the arrangement will stop working for her, and drama will follow.

So, back to the original question- it's not whether she is having 'astral sex' with nonphysical beings, it's whether she cares how this makes you feel.  If she's telling you about it to 'turn you on' it's one thing- if she's telling you about it to hurt your feelings, well, the writing is on the wall.

Ok, sorry for almost derailing this thread.

[missym]

If she is having sex/relationships with other beings, even if they are not ACTUAL, physical, people(or are creations of her mind) , she is still having sex with other *beings*.
The difference between fantasizing and (IMO) cheating, is in this case she is acting it out, therefore it no longer becomes fantasy; but reality.
Then again I guess it depends on your idea of 'cheating'.

Why don't you tell her how you feel? If she really loves you, she should understand and respect how you feel about this..

[The Doctor]

If she is having sex/relationships with other beings, even if they are not ACTUAL, physical, people(or are creations of her mind) , she is still having sex with other *beings*.
The difference between fantasizing and (IMO) cheating, is in this case she is acting it out, therefore it no longer becomes fantasy; but reality.
Then again I guess it depends on your idea of 'cheating'.

Why don't you tell her how you feel? If she really loves you, she should understand and respect how you feel about this..

I have told her a few times, but she says it's a different plane and so it doesn't count. But surely if they are Focus 2, they are only imagination? Because the beings are in her mind of sorts? Can this really be considered cheating if it is with fictional characters?

I must confess that if she thought she was hurting me she would probably leave me. And I couldn't bare that.

[soli]

Can this really be considered cheating if it is with fictional characters?

no, only that which is objective.

[Xanth]

Simply put, use your own judgments... use your own ethics and morality. 

~Ryan

[vipassana]

What do you do if your lover is having relationships with astral entities from other worlds? Is this cheating? I have heard a friend of mine has a husband that AP's into other dimensions (or at least claims too) and is in relationships with many people at once in different worlds, both romantic and sexual. Is this cheating? Or does the AP world work differently?

If you knowingly did it and you felt like you cheated, then you cheated. I went down that road in an AP/lucid dream recently. I consciously chose it just to see what it was like.   

[podizzle]

You know the old saying.....

What happens in the astral, stays in the astral. 

[nickspry]

Once you start imposing physical world restrictions and boundaries on the out of body experience doesn't it lose it's whole essence (ie: complete freedom) and eventually become a carbon copy of the physical?
If someone feels no desire to stray, then they won't. But if they do have that desire and they prevent themselves from acting on it, then they're subjecting themselves to physical world codes of conduct, which have a reason to exist in the physical but no reason to exist in the astral. If people want to restrict themselves they have a perfect right to do so of course, but it's a personal choice.
Should you be honest about it and tell your partner? I think that if all our thoughts could be heard by others society would crumble in a matter of hours. We keep much of what goes on in our heads private to avoid causing offence, pain and conflict. It's just the way human beings are wired.

[NEW_Anna]

I brought up this topic in our chatroom and what I said is that, while in the astral, your mind works differently, e.g. your memory, your instincts. At least, this is what I experienced.

[The Doctor]

Recently things have gotten bad. My lover is always acting very affectionate towards these videogame and TV characters, and not at all to me anymore. Now, when I tell her I love her she either never says it back or gets angry with me. I tell her little things (not getting to private here) and she says "not really into this" and then yet when these fictional characters do this she's in a giggly and lovey mood. This is wrong to me. These characters are getting the affection that I feel should be shared with me.

[Xanth]

Sounds like someone needs to be a bit more attentive to their partners needs. 

If she's special to you, you'll do whatever it takes to keep a hold of her.
It also sounds like you two need to sit down and have a talk.
Communication is key to a solid relationship.

If you can't talk about what's bothering you with her... then perhaps you need to second guess your relationship.

~Ryan