I see faeries

[Chimerae]

at the moment, if i dont fix all of my problems with medications, i go nuts, and die from depression. my psychiatrist probably doesnt consider the money my mother has to pay for four medications, that is 80 dollars a month, except for the 3 free refills on some of them. im not really worried about the fact that im taking all of the pills because i have very few problems while medicated. im either indifferent on meds, or extraordinarily emotional not on meds, and i dislike having mood swings.

When you're doing your work and walking the Path even the less-than-perfect compromises we make to be human work out beautifully.

I used to be really frustrated about all the things I can't quite do "right" .  (Well, okay, I'm still REALLY FRUSTRATED but I can also see the wisdom in where I am.)

I find that if something (like these drugs) adds to my life but is a problem in some other way, if I practice gratitude for what works,  unconditonal acceptance of who I am where I am, and then turn what's not working over to The Universe or God (substitute your own term for the Great Infinite) then everything evolves into something better.

Note I said "PRACTICE" 'cause I can't really do Gratitude, Unconditional Acceptance OR Letting go.  That's why it's called "Practice"  

Among my personal compromises of the moment is that coffee cuts down my psychic abilities to the point that life is manageable.  But coffee is bad for me physically which messes up all kinds of things.  But because I drink coffee, I am frequently in line in this accidentally magical little mainstream coffee shop where all kinds of amazing things happen.  Someday, I suspect I will quit drinking coffee, and then something else will be the irritating grain of sand that makes the pearl in the oyster.

While I'm thinking of it . . . anybody else here a fan of Callahan's Crosstime Saloon?

[Cornopus]

i dont know why you all are accusing me of not having justifications for my medications. i know fully that i do need some sort of medication. there is no doubt in ming mind, and i base this on the horrendous emotional and mental distress and distortions. the only reason im on so many things is because me and my psychiatrist are trying to figure out what will work best. i am aware that it is possible to not see a psychiatrist and not have meds, but if i wasnt on medication, i would do absolutely nothing, i would fail all of my classes, and i would be shaking on my floor struggling to just get by for another minute. perhaps as soon as things get squared away, i will gradually get taken off of my medications, and try to cope through other methods. i am on this forum because my number one interest is metaphysics. ive read the training guides for astral projection and healing with the heart, and am in the process of reading the energy body development training guide. you dont know me. i dig this scene. im a transcendentalist, who happens to have mental illnesses. im not stupid.

[narfellus]

Hey, i don't think anyone thought you were stupid, Cornopus. i've suffered from depression too my whole life. In fact, i think you'll find it a pretty common ailment on these boards. They must be connected, people searching for greater spiritual/metaphysical truths, and disharmony in their own bodies. i've been on and off meds, but OFF for six months ever since i started acupuncture and chiropractic sessions. I would recommend it for anyone, it helps align and strengthen meridians in the body, and facilitates energy flow up the spine. If only i could quit drinking the coffee too i might be able to get myself into shape!

As a side note, if you drink fake sugar, i would cut that from your diet asap. I about went crazy from a Splenda OD, no kidding.

[loveregardless]

Please don't be angry. No one thinks you are stupid. And no on is accusing you of anything. We are worried that your gifts and spiritual awakening is/are being masked by the medications you are on. I know this to be a fact from experience!! I know what you are going through, and so do many others, what they are trying to say, is that there is another way, and there is more to it than that. Please don't be angry love. We do not "know" you personally, but we do "know" you in the sense that we are all the same and we have been through EVERYTHING at one point, in this life or others. Nothing is individual, we are all connected, and believe it or not, some of us just want to help.

[narfellus]

I see Aura's.  I see Astrally.  I see energy beings.  I have guides I talk to daily.  I have healed energetically.
I am quite insane by definition.  So what?  When I fought being what I am, I was severly depressed, anxious, and a generally unhappy person.  The moment I stopped fighting and embraced myself my world expanded.
Why are you on this forum?  What event caused you to come here?  There are no such things as coincidences.  This forum may not be what you are seeking, but instead a stepping stone to something else.  Look inside yourself for your answers, they are there, they always have been.

Amen. There's some wisdom in those words. I still fight depression because i fight myself inwardly, my own higher self. Maybe i'm afraid, maybe i'm just lazy and don't want to buckle down and do some real work. I think this forum is a fantastic stepping stone to other realities, and i started here right about the same time i began a chiropractor and acupuncture.

[Rastus]

You misunderstand me.  I have been depressed.  Drugs, anxiety, depression, everything.  And now I'm not.

What I'm trying to say is look for the root cause, and don't treat the symptoms.  Beating depresion is a journey inward, looking for blockages.  Treat it as an energy body excercise if you want.  Thought=reality.

[narfellus]

Americans ARE fed too many medications, not to say they don't have their usefulness. Corn, just know that there are other options, and they don't all have to be explored at once. I don't know your exact problems, but four different meds a day sounds scary. I used to be on Effexor and would get severely depressed if i MISSED a dosage. How's that for logical? From what i understand, although i haven't experienced it yet myself, everything can be healed energetically. Everything.

[loveregardless]

look for the root cause, and don't treat the symptoms

You will not truly realize how true this is until it is right for you to. But it is so true. So so so true.

[narfellus]

My guides are workign overtime this week.  This just came in an Email and is realted to this thread.

The Indigo to Crystal Transitional Crisis
by Celia Fenn
Italian/Italiano Turkish Spanish/Espanol Dutch/Nederlands French/Francais Hungarian

I have been asked by Archangel Michael to write this article in order to help the many people who undergo the experience of a rapid shift into multi-dimensional awareness, or, the shift from the Indigo state to the Crystal state of consciousness.

I wonder on a global scale how many people are going through this very thing? Fascinating. If only more of the world understood and accepted this.

[Rastus]

Search my posts for one called Ascension Symptoms.  I posted this maybe 2-3 weeks ago?

[Chimerae]

I about went crazy from a Splenda OD, no kidding.

Wow!!! That was close!  

I just bought Splenda yesterday because I was told it was "as okay as any refined sugar" by someone who's usually right on.   I completely flip out with aspertame.  I haven't enen opened the package.  And now . . . I WON'T

I'm not sure but I think you may have just preserved my sanity.  Such as it is.  

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

[loveregardless]

Maybe I should tell a little more about my own "mental illness". I am bipolar, with ADD and OCD. I used to have terrible obsessive thoughts, sometimes I still do. I cannot be interested in something that does not matter, i.e. no attention span! I used to have mood swings so intense they would blow your mind. I would be so "manic" that I would have insomnia, talk a million miles a minute, feel like I was going to com bust or self destruct, behave in ways that would make a sailor embarrassed. I have been suicidal, I have cut myself, I have written poetry so morbid it would make you sick to your stomach. I have plotted on ways to kill myself. I had a collection of medications I was going to take hidden away for months that I was going to take to end it all. I tried once, took 5 zoloft and 5 shots and sat in fear trembling all night, hallucinating that spiders were crawling all over the walls and all I wanted to do was tell everyone I was sorry and I loved them. I have screamed so loud and so hard that it pained me to stop. I have sat trembling in my closet, wishing to just disappear. I spent 50 days my senior year in bed every day until 3pm!!! I could go on, but I just wanted to let everyone know, cornorpus you especially, that I understand. Many of us do.

[Cornopus]

im not ready to be taken off ALL of my medications. ill end up stabbing myself if that happens. and oh god, i dont want that to happen. im going to tell my psychiatrist to take me off of ablify and seroquel next time i see him. of course i have to find out what may happen if im off seroquel, because the only information i got about it is that its for bipolar disorder. i feel like maybe i can be like how i am supposed to be if im not on anything that is for bipolar disorder. at the moment i have to stay on lexapro because its for depression, and im not ready to go through that again. i would also like to stay on adderal because ive finally been able to concentrate on my schoolwork, something i havent been able to do for about two years.

i greatly appreciate any concern expressed by you all. i just dont want you to think less of me in any way because of my age. i understand whats going on and im perfectly justified to be on this forum. i would appreciate being welcomed rather than questioned why im on this forum.

[loveregardless]

I think you are perceiving negative questioning and condescension where there is none. Who is going to discard your thoughts because of your age? I am only 2 years older than you! And I'm about 20 years younger than most of the friends I've made here! No one is telling you to stop taking your meds right now. We are just "questioning" for the purpose of getting to know you and help you better. We are questioning in case you have never thought about trying to function without them. We are merely brainstorming here to try to come up with ways to help you! And it's not like you are the only one who came here looking for help.

WE ALL CAME HERE LOOKING FOR HELP! (whether we realized it or not)

And no one is going to tell you why/why you should not be here! You have been absolutely welcomed already, don't you see that? We already care enough about you to talk to you and want to help you! What more of a welcome could you ask for? Please realize that this site and others like it are filled with insightful, inquisitive and genuinely caring people. Most of which have abilities and gifts beyond the realm of "normalcy". We are not judging you, for to do so would be judging ourselves. We are all family, not just on this site but in the spiritual community in general. Human suffering is not individual, it is global. We are all injured animals waiting to attack our saviors, and chances are we have bitten quite a few in our lives, I know I have! But why don't we just let them help us? Why do we fight? Why do we lay there injured and alone for so long? Because we're human. And my dearest, we are ALL human. At least in this life.

[Chimerae]

I'm glad you're here.

I'm sorry it's been hard.  I do think everyone intended support and not criticism.  

Personally, I didn't realize you were so new to Astral Pulse.  (Yeah, yeah . . . I know . . . it's posted right there on the side of the screen, but . . . )

You're right.  You're intelligent and lucid.

And, I don't know, but in this venue I don't think age helps much.  The older we are, the more fallacies we seem to have to unlearn.

[loveregardless]

I am very glad!

[CaCoDeMoN]

m not ready to be taken off ALL of my medications. ill end up stabbing myself if that happens. and oh god, i dont want that to happen. im going to tell my psychiatrist to take me off of ablify and seroquel next time i see him. of course i have to find out what may happen if im off seroquel, because the only information i got about it is that its for bipolar disorder. i feel like maybe i can be like how i am supposed to be if im not on anything that is for bipolar disorder. at the moment i have to stay on lexapro because its for depression, and im not ready to go through that again. i would also like to stay on adderal because ive finally been able to concentrate on my schoolwork, something i havent been able to do for about two years.

Why do you have to tell it to your psychiatrist? Just try it by yourself. Frequently doctors don't have nearly any practical knowledge, I would never trust them. When I was 3-6 years old, some stupid doctor misdiagnosed my asthma as pneumonia many times. She prescribed so much medications that I've nearly died.

[daem0n]

hmm, much of depression is due to energy blockages
meds actually build more stronger blockages, to prevent reemerging
so anyway, you will have to relive it again, it depends on you whether for the last time
energy work should accompany each steps of self realization, and lowering dosage
and when you will be doing heart chakra, i suggest someone should assist you, either to have a shoulder to cry on or to hide the knives

seek out true resons behind your depression, cause and effect, if you don't adress the cause, you won't deal with the effect effectively, if it is fear, let it be

also you have damaged throat chakra, sharing here should help, but intimate contact is worth thousand times more, as you will take off meds your third eye should bloom, then seek out people who shine, or feel to shine (you will know, trust me), fae are widely accepted, as well as astral sight (now there are other truths that are nowhere accepted, but this is my problem , not yours, meta community takes step further, but still sits on the stairs), so you should have no trouble here, remeber that heart is primary target for the time being

each day of meds adds to previous one
one day the dam won't hold, it's just a matter of time
i do not urge, i merely advise
you have the tools, good luck

[Cornopus]

ive been trying to develop my energy body. i did this three years ago with MUCH success. as i was going through my depression problems i stopping doing it, and now there seems to be much blockage. could this be the medications, smoking cigarettes, or just not enough work?

i had a slight out of body experience about three years ago. i was using the ROPE technique, but i wasnt fully in a trance, so i got about six feet out of my body, and i got pulled right back in.

ive also had experiences transcending levels while meditating. also, i have found myself flying through a tunnel of stars. i have found myself in some strange place where there was a reddish plane below me, a black sky, and different colored geometric shapes all around.

when i close my eyes i sometimes see colors floating around, usually only green and purple. the colors start to form into circles then grow all around me and disappear, and it happens over and over. i ended up moving through this screen into another level where my head/body/mind feel more open and aware, and i see different patterns and colors. these higher states usually fade off over time, and i have to start all over again.

it would be of some help if i could get some deep insightful explanation for these occurrences and situations. thank you in advance.

[daem0n]

well, blockage dissolves when energy is released, it is cleared out or thought-forms/emotions associated with it are released, ideally all 3 at once
the trick is to confront your emotions, you cannot run from them, they are part of you
wouldn't you find it humorous to try to run  away from your leg, aditionally using it to run ?

you got pulled back because there wasn't enough energy present, due to blockages, etc

transcending levels aren't that much help with the depression, your problems are here, not there, and returning here from there suggests it, if you want to oobe/whatever because you don't like it here, it will get you even deeper into depression, and you feel yearning for that state, don't you
well, it doesn't work that way, i suggest compter games if you still insist, at least this is accepted world-wide, and you can talk about it freely (still most people would treat you the same as if you were talking about oobe )
also there is a thing called hypnagogic imagery, as i recall
there are no shortcuts, compassion is not that cozy warm feeling, it is steel
i do not judge, i merely point out

[CaCoDeMoN]

You are right, Daem0n. But how to dissolve/destroy a thoughtform?

[daem0n]

first of all, consciousness, be aware what are the triggers, expresions of the the TF (thought-form)

awareness - observe yourself, and when you see triggers on the horizon, be ready, the most important things is to realise emotions are part of you, and don't have effectc over all of you, less you give them, awareness is a must for that

energy work - each emotional/TF trait 's energy is stored in muscles, when you relax them thy won't be able to trigger (try to get angry when you are relaxed, good luck), so move that energy

trauma - each, information, memory is stored in all cells of the body (if you want to argue with me on that PM me), each shock, broken heart is stored in all bodies, cell shock is by far the hardest and slowest to remove, combine all methods for this

subconsciousness - has own patterns and personality, negotiate and show the error of the ways, just start talking to it in your mind

patterns in energy bodies - if you are proficient with energy manipulation you can access them directly to aid the process, just look and you will find

loops - causes, conditioning can form loops that are self-sufficient, resolving the ultimate cause (lack of self awareness) won't affect them, do yourself a tree of why,who,when, starting from branches, and you will see them emerging

review all of your life, finds things that you had from the beginning, remove all that you were told you are, must act like etc, without knowing who you are you are unable to act effectively

forgiveness - acknowledging unimportance of a factor to your well being, you'll get nowhere without it, but forgiveness without consciousness is a joke, do the tree

soul retrieval - part of you stuck on the moment of shock, without further knowledge and reasoning, energy work required, free him from the constraints of the actions(consciousness!) and merge with him, then look at the shock with whole of your being, for the last time

affirmations etc - BS, subconsciousness hold the keys, not you, but you have to use your consciousness to do it

these are minimal requirements ...

[daem0n]

oh, there's much more to it then removing a mere thoughtform, but you want to go further than that

PS caco, you know that this isn't  entirely for you, nor it was supposed to be

[Cornopus]

i have decided that the faeries i see are real. hooray. now i suppose there is no reason for the ablify im taking. i will be stopping that now.

[daem0n]

we are happy
train, there is so much more