Illuman's Dream Journal

[Illuman]

9-9-17

This is my first attempt at training myself to put more energy and thought into the astral and the exploration and experience of it.  For various reasons I have put this topic aside as "real life" took me off course and I did not get far at all (unless you consider it as training for me to recognize it NOW and use it to my advantage).  I will keep this updated regularly as really it is a tool for myself and I find it easier than physically writing them down.  I imagine as I immerse myself in all things astral experiences will ramp up so I want to go through the training so to speak correctly, without jumping ahead or trying to achieve anything but inner peace.  To begin my only real purpose is communicating with my "guide" (or guides?) in hopes that I can further this training and begin adventuring.  Anyhow I want to preface this with I usually NEVER remember my dreams unless they were so forceful in that dream state it was shocking once I returned to this reality.  Even then I never documented.  Last night I told myself I would remember my dream, and I did.  So that is progress enough to keep me on this path.

Night of 9-8-17

I can not remember any specific people and the whole of where I was however there were other people in it and I seemed to be "trapped" (for lack of a better term) on one specific street.  I had an apartment or house (or rather I was in one it could have been mine or someone elses).  I recall  being in a house and for whatever reason I was forcefully kept there.  I took a weapon from someone and pointed it at him while exiting the house.  I fired a shot through the door if my memory serves. me.  When I went across the street I avoided going into a specific house a few houses diaganal from where I was, I curled up on the corner of the street and waited to see if I was being watched or followed (felt like I needed protection for some reason).  I eventually made it into the house I intentionally passed and fell asleep with a woman (not sure who, just assumed my GF as this house was VERY similar to my actual apartment) (Heavy front door to the apartment) however I was upstairs. I know this because I hid under covers while people entered and I heard the footsteps indicting for me to hide.  Someone slowly pulled the covers from my face and with glee eerily said "ohhh its you"  I remember talk of him saying he was having the utilities off and they took belongings out of the house.  I also remember this person having an omnipotent feel to them.  I could combat them using normal means,  he had friend cops outside his house coming and going and seemed to have unlimited power in that regard.  I deadbolted the door and felt safe after they took things,  Then I vaguely recall "starting a war" or just engaging in a fight or something, burning down their house with stuffed animals.  (I set fire to the animals underneath the house to start it) that was towards the end I believe or thats all I remember.  Most of it is very hazy and foggy as most of the time when I wake up in the morning its because of screaming kids that need to be fed and changed etc.  Not leaving me with much time to do anything but dive back into reality. 

[Nameless]

That is great recall, many don't get near that much. Only you will know what this dream may represent to you. Possibly just a heads-up as you are now trying to 'fight' your way out of old thoughts, ideas and stretch a bit.

Thanks for sharing and added hugs.

[EscapeVelocity]

Nice work!

I hope it is immediately apparent how responsive your subconscious/inner self/higher self/whichever was to your 'intent' and the inner instructions you gave yourself by having and remembering these dreams. It isn't always this easy but this is a great start!

A Dream Journal is a great idea for several reasons.

Your desire for a specific type of experience is important and the idea that you have already stated, 'simply to contact guidance and experience the next best experience for your learning' is a great general form of INTENT, which you will come to learn is a central component to any experience/adventure.

A great exercise to begin at this point is the use of Affirmations to learn how easy and straight-forward it can be to communicate messages to your 'inner self'. Keep it simple, like basic programming for a simple computer, and choose one or two simple, positive phrases to repeat to yourself both during the day and as you go to bed.

"I remember my dreams and experiences every night."
"I become aware during my dreams."
"I wish to have contact with 'guidance' tonight."
"I wish to have the next experience that is best for my evolution."
"I am safe and protected always and during my dreams and adventures."

Come up with your own, word it your own way, keep it simple and positive. This works well generally for most people and very well for some. It is a great default technique when other techs seem to not work.

EV

[Illuman]

Thank you both very much.  I appreciate any and all advice.  I dont see like an ultra noob guide on the forums its all sort of mixed pieces.  What I did understand is for most the "advanced" stuff learning to do affirmations and programming my mind prior to bed (I didnt know through the day will begin toying with it).  But I honestly took a bit to figure out I had to even remember my dreams to aid in LD or AP etc.  So im getting there, this is one of the topics I find most interesting so I plan on sticking with it. 

9-9-17

No dream recall however I awoke several times in the night which I never do (I was attempting to practice wbtb to some extent but my newborn baby makes this kind of hard.  Im toying with it.  I did wake with vibrations ( for lack of a better term) and I am sort of suprised I didnt remember dreaming any of the times I awoke.  I am going to record every night even if I dont recall.  But as you said.  I WILL remember my dreams when I awake. 

[EscapeVelocity]

Right from the start, you are making a great observation and asking a difficult question, lol. Yes, there is no 'ultra noob guide'...it is rather 'all sort of mixed pieces'...I keep meaning to do one...sometime...

A few reasons might be that it is such a vast and unknowable subject, it would rival the Encyclopedia Britannica (does anyone even remember what that was/is? ), and most knowledgeable practitioners are reluctant to describe the parameters of such a subject that is so dependent on an individual's experience, perspective and interpretation...so you get 'mixed pieces'...plus most of us do have day jobs...

So I will recommend some 'pieces' that more or less reflect my current thinking.

I guess that it comes down to 2 aspects to consider: What do you expect to experience? And what will you experience or are experiencing? Our reluctance to describing the experience comes down to not wanting to limit or direct what might be your personal experience because that may take many possible forms; some of which may not resemble mine in any way.

To attempt to state the process in general terms and as a starting point- The OBE or Out of Body Experience should be re-stated as a changing of the Focus of your Awareness from Physical Reality (PR) to somewhere else, meaning Non-Physical Reality (NPR). You have already done this thousands of times quite naturally in the forms of Dreaming and Daydreaming. It is 're-focusing' away from the Physical perspective (PR). As simple as it seems, most of us don't realize the extent to which we can train and increase this ability. You already have a reservoir of dream experiences to remember, some of which you may find are more indicative of NP Reality than you first imagined. This is why the Dream Journal is so important.

Okay, so there are dreams and daydreams...so what? What do they offer?

By exercising this ability, it gets better. Your dreams become more lucid, which means you increase your awareness within them. These are Lucid Dreams. Then a shift occurs and you realize someone or something is challenging you to learn new skills. And you get some adventures along the way...You may recognize that certain childhood dreams were actually early examples of this educational process (yes, I said educational, implying school...it seems we never leave, lol). In some cases, you interact with aspects of yourself, your subconscious; other times you can meet sentient beings...yes they are actually out there (or in there). It is quite a shock when someone actually contacts you.

Your daydreams may become forms of visualization which are new forms of exercise or techniques to help you re-focus into NP realms.

So what do the other techniques offer and where do they take you?

Of course, nearly everyone wants to stay in control, from beginning to end of an experience...but frankly, for most, that only comes later. The resistance to disconnecting the awareness/consciousness from the physical body either comes naturally for a few or takes some time to learn. Usually a brief period of unconsciousness is required, but that's okay. So just let it happen if that's the way it needs to happen.

Whether it is a specific visualization technique or a meditative technique, I find that either of these is best applied within the context of a WBTB or Wake, Back To Bed technique. You get the additional ease of the natural sleep/disconnect process. Early morning wake-ups can be good, afternoon naps can sometimes be miraculous! Again, this is one of those personal things; it may work for you but not for me.

So the "classic" idea of an OBE can become a bit obsessive, the idea that you lie down, relax and float out of your physical body like a ghost and go wandering about the Earth Plane. Well, that can and often does happen, especially in the early stages; but no one should get hung up and obsessed with having that particular experience for a number of reasons. If it happens that way, then great! But it will change to something else eventually. Or it may start out as something else completely, like a Lucid Dream or an outright Phasing.

Here's how I opened the subject with another member-
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_members_introductions/hello_from_switzerland-t45993.0.html

Xanth provides an excellent compilation of ideas that would be part of the 'comprehensive NOOB guide[ drats-the link doesn't work but you can access it from the 3rd Board]
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_consciousness/xanths_free_60_page_book_"my_astral_projection_truth"-t32983.0.html

And Szaxx provides further context and specificity- This has over a hundred subtle yet exact particulars and nuances describing the NP process-
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_astral_consciousness/the_astral_blueprint-t38729.0.html

And PR has a pretty classic primer here- it also points out a hard fact that you have to often work hard at something unsuccessfully until the answer occurs to you in a most obvious fashion-
http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_out_of_body_experiences/how_i_got_out_for_the_first_time-t30942.0.html

All that should give both a headache and load your subconscious with plenty of data to look for in your early experiences...

Enjoy, take two aspirin and call us in the morning...

EV

[Illuman]

Night of 9-10-17

No recall.

~~~~~~~~

I already downloaded Xanth's ebook and read most of it (I only stopped because on his recommendation somewhere in there he said to practice some things before going further so I trusted that.  I have to dig back into it because somehow I got distracted, that was 2 days ago and in theory I should have been more disciplined in my practice.  Again with so much info though I find myself getting off track and moving on to another and another and another because of ALL this info.  I am positive I will get there though.  I am going to dig through the links you posted first and hit Xanth's again see where it goes.  Thanks again EV

[Illuman]

So I am back, not even realizing I was gone until now.  While at the time I was extremely intent on "sticking it out" I somehow let it go to the wayside.  Maybe I needed some processing time.  Maybe I am being forced into old habits in order to break them, to be honest I am not sure.  That being said after 2 months or so of falling back into old habits I caught myself not wanting to do that.  What I am realizing is that much like an infant we as humans like to think we are consciously doing things.  But to me it seems we are on auto pilot until we are able yo train enough to take control of our own being.  Like we are in a gestation period taking it all in with a blueprint that moves us along until we evolve.  Any way that is my current thinking.  As we have more intent on becoming aware or conscious we get the needed help to do so.  I am on my mobile device I'm going to post on my laptop in a bit. 

-Neil

[Illuman]

11-20-2017

Still no dreams to report or anything unsual, however this is to get me back into the swing of intent.  I am not entirely sure why I fell out of it but it must of been necessary.  Likely to give me a different perspective.  To get an outside look first.  Anyhow now that I am doing this again I fully expect to have a dream and document it to get back on track.  One step at a time.

(note: between 9-10-2017 and now I had not had any dream experiences I can remember.)

[Illuman]

Before I forget I wanted to self access a bit.

I believe currently that one of the reasons for my lack of success (that is for lack of a better term,  it is most definitly success in terms of me thinking about this and still pursuing it, not success in the traditional sense of having an OBE or achieved the end result, however success can be measured in many ways, failures are often small successes) anyways one of the reasons is fear.  For whatever reason I think it has to do with not wanting to change so much that I become my father (IE. I leave my family and make my kids grow up without a father) however irrational this is it was a huge imprint on me growing up and it obviously built who I am today.  Everything ive done has been to not be him.  Why I didnt drink until over 21, or do drugs, or smoke for a very very long time.  Eventually I didnt let that control me and I went to experience these things,  likely to understand WHY.  Thankfully I made it out on the other side without repeating the mistakes of my parents.  IE.  neglect of my children and the seperation of my family.  (Even though I was cheated on and could have easily ran away)  Instead I had a moment of clarity where I removed myself from the situation and just contemplated MY part in it.  Anyhow that led to not placing blame, and understanding that I had a part in that event as much as she did. 

I think I am starting to break free from some of the fear blockages and I expect it will lead to more dreams, or lucid experiences.  Having never done an OBE I still have this irrational fear in the back of my head that I will chose not to come back and essentially leave my family the same way I was left as a child (like ill die or just not come back)  even though I know (KNOW) this reality is not everything I do not want to stunt the growth of those I love by selfish action.  (Something along those lines)  and not having the experience within the NP leads to an unknown,  an irrational fear.  Even though I read about all the people who have done it, explored themselves and came back I myself dont know that.  If that makes sense.  I have a very large dislike for being controlled and the fears that have been built up through my life are a control mechanism (likely a survival thing not sure)  I do know that I am sick of it and refuse to give my power to fear.  This is such an expansive new world with a cornucopia  of information it is so easy to take some new piece of information and infect it with fear. 

Okay sorry for the rant I had to put this here so I can see it and reflect on it and remember it as I document my experiences.

[Illuman]

4 pm 11-20 everyone in the house took a nap so decided to break out some binaural beats.  The 30 min om one I did also put the other one on a playlist from multidimensional man.  Got through a full hour of laying completely still. I didn't readjust for anything. Itches eyes watering outside movement. It did take my attention momentarily but of always kept on.  At various points through both tracks the darkness would begin movement.  Overlapping variations of dark.  With specs of light thrown in like something wanted to come into focus.   I also distinctly recall there being a few times when my vision would adjust like trying to focus a picture.  Like an entirely different view of the dark. Nothing much changed except my perception of that darkness.  Nothing spectacular but I fully expect it to translate tonight into dreams. Ill keep documenting.

[Lumaza]

4 pm 11-20 everyone in the house took a nap so decided to break out some binaural beats.  The 30 min om one I did also put the other one on a playlist from multidimensional man.  Got through a full hour of laying completely still. I didn't readjust for anything. Itches eyes watering outside movement. It did take my attention momentarily but of always kept on.  At various points through both tracks the darkness would begin movement.  Overlapping variations of dark.  With specs of light thrown in like something wanted to come into focus.   I also distinctly recall there being a few times when my vision would adjust like trying to focus a picture.  Like an entirely different view of the dark. Nothing much changed except my perception of that darkness.  Nothing spectacular but I fully expect it to translate tonight into dreams. Ill keep documenting.

First off. there is nothing wrong with scratching a itch or slightly re adjusting yourself. It's only counter productive if you think is. When I first get a itch, I will mentally try to lose it, by focusing anew. If that doesn't work, I don't fight it. I just reach a passive scratch it.

Nothing much changed except my perception of that darkness.  Nothing spectacular but I fully expect it to translate tonight into dreams. Ill keep documenting.

When your perception of he darkness changes, you are entering the void. This is where you make a intent and go there or be there. You got to the last hurdle, then you stopped. I found that's the final "test". How much longer will you go. How bad do you want it. This isn't where you pressure yourself. This is where you relax into the void and see what's "there". It's also a great place of healing and place of solace, where you work on new things, projects, etc. In other words, this a place where thought = action is extremely active. That's why the thought of a Demon, while in sleep paralysis, brings on the Demon experience itself.

Years ago, I was in our local Mall with a Kiosk at Christmas time. We were selling Himalayan Salt Lamps and they have a "spiritual" side to them, so my booth also attracted customers of that nature. So do the Dragons that sell.
A husband and wife came to see me and told me their daughter was having terrible nightmares. I told them to send her to me. I talked to her and found out she was always being chased by some big creature. I told her, "You are the one that's the outsider there and that everyone in that realm looks like that. He just wants a friend". I also told her to give the cookie in her hand to him as a peace treaty, sign of friendship. She did and few days later she ran up to my Kiosk and gave me a big hug. End of nightmares for her. Once again, changing a mindset, changed the reality as well. 

[Illuman]

Thank you Lumaza I appreciate the response.  As someone who has virtually no experience in any of this.  (Hell I cant recall dreaming for many many many years prior to what got me to come here a few months ago in the first place)  That leaves me having to build the foundation from the ground up and without a frame of reference.  Appreciate any and all input. 

To begin, what I had meant by not scratching is I successfully mentally blocked it out.  I knew it was to test my grit so to speak and I made it through that.  And the other various ticks so to speak.  (I had let them interrupt me too much in the past and tried to come to this realization consciously this time) The reason I thought it was counter productive in the past was because of the pull of attention from NP to P.  Of course that is just my rough interpretation based on the myriad of posts on this forum. 

Secondly, thank you very much some some clarification.  I guess I have zero idea what it is I am looking for, or attempting to accomplish because for all intents and purposes I have no framework with which to envision this.  So as I understand it that lens focusing (much like when you go to the eye Dr.  and they flick back and forth those glasses, but minus any color.  Just like (This one or this one?) but variations of dark.  So let me get this clear this is an initial point where I dont just observe?  If/when I get to that perception change of sorts I use intent to "go there"  There being the darkness?  Or the specs of light that were coming through?  Its hard to know what to focus on, especially when most places say to lose focus and just let be.

Sorry if I dont fully understand, believe me I am trying.  But its like someone trying to explain something 100% foreign to me.  Maybe no longer 100% but you get my drift.  Thank you for your time.

[Lumaza]

  To begin, what I had meant by not scratching is I successfully mentally blocked it out.  I knew it was to test my grit so to speak and I made it through that.  And the other various ticks so to speak.  (I had let them interrupt me too much in the past and tried to come to this realization consciously this time) The reason I thought it was counter productive in the past was because of the pull of attention from NP to P.  Of course that is just my rough interpretation based on the myriad of posts on this forum. 

A itch or tick can be a test of sorts because it does bring your awareness back to your physical body. But if you don't make a big deal out of it, you can simply scratch it and return your focus back to where I was before.  The worst thing you can do is to fight it. You have to learn how to just turn it off naturally and this happens by changing and locking onto another target of focus. I had this problem with constantly having to swallow as well. Like most people here, I had to constantly and still once in awhile still do, have to jump all the blocks and hurdles that prevent a successful NP session/experience. The blocks and hurdles seem to evolve, as we do.

Secondly, thank you very much some some clarification.  I guess I have zero idea what it is I am looking for, or attempting to accomplish because for all intents and purposes I have no framework with which to envision this.  So as I understand it that lens focusing (much like when you go to the eye Dr.  and they flick back and forth those glasses, but minus any color.  Just like (This one or this one?) but variations of dark.  So let me get this clear this is an initial point where I dont just observe?  If/when I get to that perception change of sorts I use intent to "go there"  There being the darkness?  Or the specs of light that were coming through?  Its hard to know what to focus on, especially when most places say to lose focus and just let be.

Sorry if I dont fully understand, believe me I am trying.  But its like someone trying to explain something 100% foreign to me.  Maybe no longer 100% but you get my drift.  Thank you for your time.

You can do two things. You can either passively observe and "notice" what is being shown to you or you can use thought = action and create a environment/scenario. It's up to you. I believe that I am being shown what I need to see and taught what I need to learn while in that state. But sometimes it's fun to just create a scene/destination and go explore it.

Let those little flashes develop into a full blown scenario. They will eventually.

Sometimes, I ignore the mini screen play and wait until it has become a vivid, fully developed scene. Other times I will lock on the first visual and see what I can see in it. The lock on is hard, because you are trying to lock onto a fuzzy visual. But once again, you are still using thought = action. So, as long as you are deep enough, as long as you have shifted away from your physical focus,  you will still find success with that as well.

Experiment with this. Find out what you find comfortable and what works for you, on a personal level. Who knows you better than you?

[Illuman]

11-21-17

Before bed I listened to binaural beats.  Same experience as the one prior but more intense.  IE.  Vibrations came back. It almost seemed liked a countdown or check of sorts.  The energy kept rolling up and down my chakras [I think?] It got most intense in my chest I felt like my heart would fly through it [although my first spontaneous vibrations and near exit if I could have known etc was going on back then I may have been able to let go but fear kept me here that time. I was really scared.  I feel myself slowly building back to that point.  Anyhow I did have flashes for some reason part of your door technique lumaza.  My mind was both trying to see the door and walk a path to a bridge.  I mixed up things I read today. I will say pictures did focus. Albeit for a very very instant and brief moment.  In the were various roads which eventually morphed to a dirt road and lush trees on either side. I guess I didn't see the trees I just knew they were there.  Although I sort of switched to overview for a second and saw a huge shoreline with sand, water and a huge over hanging rock making a bend around the beach.  Somewhere in here I also saw a cave opening but this was out of the blackness it didn't seem to coincide with the beach or road. Other than that I seemed to be mixing visualizations.  I couldn't quite make it to the cave but the door did morph as I thought harder about what that opening was.  It became a huge set of square double doors. Like ones to enter an ancient banquet hall.  They were very ornate.  A large pull handle lay on both doors and the color of it seemed neutral at first until I really thought about it.  It turned from blue to purple and seemed to lean more towards purple at the end.  All in all I would consider this progress.  However it is still sort of a jumbled mess heh I will get there. 

[Sorry for any grammar mistakes I'm on mobile atm] I did not have any dream recall when I awoke this morning. 

[Lumaza]

  All in all I would consider this progress.  However it is still sort of a jumbled mess heh I will get there. 

[Sorry for any grammar mistakes I'm on mobile atm] I did not have any dream recall when I awoke this morning. 

So, would I! 

It's a jumbled mess at first. We seem to jump/flit around quite a bit in the beginning of our practice. But it gets better with further practice.

You will see there are a number of "Doorways" to be found there. A "cave" is always a great one to explore. Lose any expectations and go see what's inside of it. There is normally an adventure awaiting you inside of it. Anything that just seem to appear, has some kind of purpose.

You are doing excellent!  Incorporating a bit of "motion" into the scenario will help create more of a vivid scene as well. We seem to associate different scenarios with the 6 directions, up, down, left, right and forward, backwards.

Don't worry about the "grammar mistakes". I have many of them myself. I really don't like typing, lol. 

[Illuman]

11-22

No recall. [Just want to make sure I keep up on this to always keep it on my mind]