Help with Kundalini...

[Kalonek]

quote:Originally posted by Targa

And no, I don't mind at all keeping everyone updated on my experiences and the effects this has.  I think it will be useful to the Forum Community to hear about exactly what happens to me because of this.

Thanks Targa ! Indeed i think it will be very helpful for everyone ! We could even almost create a day-by-day effects list from your posts. Hope you'll be fine anyway and don't have to post a lot !! I hope your lungs will also get better soon, as your back !
Btw, how long lasted the experience, from snake coming up to the end ? I would be more than interested to read the entire detailled process you've been through (as you proposed to talk about it ) ! How did you do it, which was your intent, where did you direct energy, how etc I'm really curious about all this (i don't want to give you too much work though so if you don't feel like you can say everything it's ok i understand totally).

[Targa]

From the time the snake started ascending until I stopped meditating was probably about 15 or 20 minutes.  It's very hard to say, because by that time in meditation it's difficult to hold the concept of time.  It could have been as short as 5 or 10 minutes, or as long as 30.  I will say this though:  After the snake connected with my crown chakra, as I said, every time I pumped energy into the root chakra it sent an excruciating blast of pain into my head.  I saw white lights, and experienced the "worms in your brain" (yucch) phenomenon.  Because of this pain, and because I had no idea what might happen, I did not spend very long in this state.  I did not attempt to pump very much energy at all into it after this point, as it literally felt like my skull would explode if I did.  I was also being cautious given the warnings of possible side effects, and didn't wish to cause permanent damage.  I think in the future I will have to learn to rely on inner guidance as to how much and how often to do this.

At this time I am not comfortable giving an explanation.  I must meditate on this and seek guidance.  I would not be happy if I recounted my experience and some young and/or foolish person followed my example and brought harm to themselves.  I would not want that on my conscience or my karma.  Please be patient with me.

EDIT:  Forgot to add that as the snake was rising, my back got very hot and sweaty all of a sudden.

[Targa]

Boydster:  Do you do any chakra work on the chakras not contained in the physical body?  Been wondering if I should start concentrating on these.  From what I understand there's one lower and many upper chakras?  Earth Star below, and Soul Star, Stellar, Universal, and Cosmic Gateways above.  Any idea how these should be visualized?  Do they lay horizontal like the crown chakra?

Also, as someone with many years of experience, can you give the exact locations of the 7 major chakras?  These differ widely, depending on who/what you read.

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by Targa

Do you visualize the heart chakra as green?  I know this is traditional, but some people say the healing energy from the heart is pink.  I also read one story where a woman with clairvoyant capabilities said that on some people she sees a pink center in the green heart chakra.  Just curious, and I am going to use your technique of visualizing that pocket and cord in the heart chakra to the higher self.

Within myself, I see my heart chakra as a bright white light with pink and ruby highlights. But that's after years of work.

quote:One other thing:  I won't quote your entire message here, but this is in regard to your earlier post about mastering the kundilini in past lives.  Is it your opinion then that the commonly held belief regarding awakening kundilini means an end to reincarnational cycles is incorrect?  Or are you perhaps saying that kundilini was awakened but not mastered (or enlightenment reached) in past lives?

I think that there are other requirements besides merely raising the Kundalini before one can merit the initiation of the Ascension. You have to balance at least 51% of your negative karma. You have to demonstrate mastery over all the 7 rays and 7 chakras. You have to fulfill the mission (work) which you promised to do when you met with councils of Ascended Masters between lives. You have to demonstrate a balanced ability to use power, wisdom and love--all three--without relying on one and remaining weak in the others.

quote:EDIT:  You stated that you raised K to different chakras.  Would you suggest this as a normal path to take rather than always raising it to the crown chakra?  Next time, should I try to raise it to the heart chakra, do you think?  Or third eye?

Kundalini knows where to go and it's different for everyone. One thing I know is that after a while and the major work of clearing is done you can begin practicing moving it to where you want. And my teachers say that it's not necessary to spend much time with the lower three chakras. You do want them cleared of debris and functioning in a balanced way. But it's best not to spend a lot of time there. These are responsible (mainly) for the physical functioning of the body and you risk exacerbating lower appetites by dwelling there too much or inflaming them. My upper 4 chakras are far, far better developed than the lower 3 and I've never had a problem with it. I'm sure someone will disagree with this. Oh well.

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by Kalonek


I just canted to confirm your technic boydster, it is REALLY effective (the one about the night monster ... ) I woke up twice in this case tonight and immediately did what you explained : i had a real lot of sexual energy, i could feel it clearly, almost like a physical liquid in my 2nd chakra. I pulled it up to my crown chakra by my spine, and i really felt the energy flowing to the top of my head. The sexual arousal was totally gone in less than 15 secondes, and i felt my crown chakra to be mildly stimulated, in a gentle way. I did it again the 2nd time but with my heart chakra. The whole thing was less intese so i get smaller results, but i'm looking forward for other experiences of this kind !
So thanks again for your technic

I realized after reading this again that very frequently I prolong this exercise as follows:

After the light has mostly ascended to the target chakra, I pause and think for a minute about my lovely wife beside me there in bed which causes more of the light to be pulled out of the root and into the sex chakra. After a short cycle of this, I "zoooop" that light up to the target chakra also. If you do this 3 or 4 times you will soon have more than a mild stimulation of the target chakra.

Be sure to keep the "wife meditation" part as short as necessary. And finish the meditation with a long period of time spent "in" the target chakra. You want to anchor your consciousness there and celebrate the higher victory. If you don't succeed at anchoring the light and your consciousness in the upper chakra, you may fall asleep and much of the light can slip back down to the lower place and you wake up with truly compelling desires...[][][]

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by Targa

Boydster:  Do you do any chakra work on the chakras not contained in the physical body?  Been wondering if I should start concentrating on these.  From what I understand there's one lower and many upper chakras?  Earth Star below, and Soul Star, Stellar, Universal, and Cosmic Gateways above.  Any idea how these should be visualized?  Do they lay horizontal like the crown chakra?

Also, as someone with many years of experience, can you give the exact locations of the 7 major chakras?  These differ widely, depending on who/what you read.

I don't know anything about those "extra-terrestrial" chakras. Never heard of such a thing.

I dont think the 7 major chakras are in the same place in all people. In me they are:

Root--2 inches forward of anus
Spleen--4 inches to the left and 1 inch higher than naval
Solar Plexus--2 inches directly above naval
Heart--Center of sternum
Throat--1 inch below adams apple
Brow--1 inch above bridge of nose
Crown--Centered at the "baby soft spot" top of head

Your mileage may vary.

Kalonek, I'll bet you know exactly where your chakras are too, within a few cm. How do these locations compare to yours?

[Tayesin]

Hi,
The warnings given at the beginning of this thread are very sound.  So I won't repeat them.

A Lady I call Teacher introduced the subject by telling me, "Our mental institutions have many people who experienced an un-controlled awakening of kundalini."   So I lost interest straight away.  LOL

Twenty years later, I learned for myself that the energy of Kundalini is really the Seat of the Soul within the human body.  When awakened and experienced it is as awesome in it's Clear Big Picture Awareness as it is in it's force.  I call it a harsh taskmaster.  

When focused and used for 'effective means' it is hugely powerful, when flowing in an uncontrolled Torrent it is equally damaging.

So, my tiny bit of advice would be to trust in your Guides. If it is part of your Soul's plan here, then they will help you.  No one in their 'right mind' would seek out Kundalini without true and honest Guidance.[]

Love Always.[]

[Kalonek]

Targa => Thank you for your report ! And indeed i think you'e right by wanting not to say to quickly how you proceeded, as some might harm themselves. It's a wise decision I hope you'll get us updated with your experience going on in the next days ! I look forward to read about it, and how you're going/dealing with the situation.

quote:Originally posted by boydster

If you don't succeed at anchoring the light and your consciousness in the upper chakra, you may fall asleep and much of the light can slip back down to the lower place and you wake up with truly compelling desires...[][][]

Ok thanks for this advice [] I'll try to follow it as best as i can. I did it again this morning, and i feel like it really helps me to open my heart chakra ! Now i feel a gentle (energetic) pressure in the center of my sternum, and i think it will increase with the practice of your exercise. I was longing to feel it well, so thank you I'll do the "after-exercise" too now, i'll let you know my results.

quote:Kalonek, I'll bet you know exactly where your chakras are too, within a few cm. How do these locations compare to you

Well here are mine :

Root - exactly where the testicules "bag" (sorry i don't know the "official" name in english and i don't have an anatomy book with me ) join the groin
Spleen - about 2-3cm under the navel
Solar plexus - 10cm above navel (almost on the sternum)
Heart - center of chest in the axis of the nipples
Throat - 1cm below the adams apple, a little on the left (a few mm)
Brow - 1-2cm above my nose bridge
Crown - 3-4cm before the top of the head

(Lol i'm feeling all pressured with my top chakras activated now that i verified their position )

About the chakras, boydster, it's funny to see that it takes me many weeks (and even months) before i could feel my lower chakras (even the root, though a little heat for this one), and i'm only starting to feel them clearly since a few months, although i feel really well my upper chakras (except heart center as i said, except when attempting an AP, when it throbbs very fast). They seem a lot more developed too. I was wondering about my energetic balancing byt you reassured me I mostly need for now to work on my heart chakra which is the only one i can't feel well and is seemingly a bit blocked in the upper centers.

Btw, does anyone here knows what the palate chakras are for (seemingly 2, one in front and another a bit further in the mouth, though there might be only 1 "long" (lol)) ? I don't know what a work on them can do, i have stimulated them (by chance, i didn't know about them at this time) in a few sessions without clear results, so i you know something about them ...

Also, about kundalini, do you feel where it stops in the head ? It seems that the ida and pingala nadis continue to the nose, but i guess the kundalini continue up the crown center, right ? What is the feeling at this instant ? And do you feel the chakras activating one by one when the Kundalini "snake" is coming up (i have read this) ?

[pod3]

Well, assuming Bruce is very busy, I would still like to hear of techniques for raising enough kundalini to produce that ectoplasmic Medusa effect, which shifts organs.

If it is in our best interest to hear that guides have helped some, what did they do for you?

If it is a matter of concentration, what should my will be focused upon?

Obviously, the chakras must be cleared, and you must be plugged in to an external source. How to cause this movement through the open chakras, then, and to such a scale?

[Targa]

quote:Also, about kundalini, do you feel where it stops in the head ? It seems that the ida and pingala nadis continue to the nose, but i guess the kundalini continue up the crown center, right ? What is the feeling at this instant ? And do you feel the chakras activating one by one when the Kundalini "snake" is coming up (i have read this) ?

Perhaps Boydster or someone else has a clearer answer than this, since I've only experienced this once.  Where did it stop in the head?  Difficult to remember exactly, since there was so much going on (especially pain). I couldn't clearly sense the "head" of the snake once it got to my crown chakra, and was in alot of pain at the time.  I had a sharp pain from the top of my spine (back of head) all the way to the third eye position.  ie:  Ever see a picture of the human brain, how it's split into right and left halves?  The pain and white light seemed to go right along that center line.

I felt nothing with regard to chakras activating as K was rising past them.  It seemed to ignore them and go straight to the crown chakra.  Boydster probably has much better info on this, since he's raised K thousands of times.


Today's "aftereffects" report:

Last night, roughly 24 hours after my first raising of kundilini (hereafter referred to as simply "K"), I again attempted to raise K.  I spent approximately 1 hour in meditation and energy raising, but had to stop and rest often, and found myself too weak to reach the same level of Will, Determination, and Power as the previous night.  It became obvious that I still needed rest before another attempt.

However, I will also mention that I was still able to feel the physical presence of where the snake had been (like a phantom or an enlarged pathway), and at one point I "received" by intuition the message, "Kundilini is still rising to your crown chakra, but it is being very gentle with you at the moment".  This gave me the impression that once the pathway is open, it doesn't necessarily "shut down" completely, and indeed cannot be shutdown once opened.

40+ hours after raising K, I still have pain in my back and neck where the snake was, and I've found that applying a heating pad eases the pain. So it's definitely not "imagined" pain, but a real physical movement/displacement that occurs.

I feel much more "normalized" today (not so "spacey").  Every time I attempt to work my energy body, I feel as if it is already much "expanded" and already activated, rather than "running at idle" like it normally would.  The right side of my neck where the serpent was is still fairly painful.  I seem to require less sleep, and feel more energetic, but not to a huge degree.

Ah, but the subtler effects!  I have been smoking cigarettes for about 30 years, and would often jokingly tell my wife, "When I die, bury me with a cigarette in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other".  I had no intention of ever quitting...until now.  Suddenly, now I am quitting smoking.  I find that I have cravings for healthy foods, and in a very odd turn of events, I had a desire for a cup of herbal tea today!  I hate hot tea!  LOL.  Yet I wanted nothing more than to sit in the lotus position whilst sipping a cup of herbal tea, go figure (I also never sit in the lotus position).  I found myself singing and dancing for no apparent reason, other than it "felt right" (I rarely sing and don't know how to dance).  I found myself doing a dance from the 1920's!  Then, again for no apparent reason (my body decided I needed exercise?), I began bouncing on the balls of my feet and shadow-boxing (I have never learned how to box, but the moves I was doing appeared to me to be just as good as any professional boxer).  I have no explanation for this behavior, as I am normally a very subdued and "boring" type person.

I should add here that I deliberately sublimated the Ego and surrendered my Will to that of my Higher Self and whatever Destiny I may have.  I do not argue the changes I find in myself, I just observe and accept.  I am open to change, so these events are not unwelcome.  That being said, I would imagine that the changes would happen regardless of my attitude (hence we see people who cannot deal effectively with K in many so-called "spontaneous" awakenings).  If you are not prepared to give up your life, then it would be best to let sleeping snakes lie.

EDIT:  It is a fairly widely held belief that past life and karmic information are stored in the chakras.  Under this system, it is concievable that the awakening of K, and subsequent flow of K through the chakras is activating past-life memories subconsciously.  Hence the out-of-character behavior and desires.

[Targa]

Pod3:  Boydster gave several methods in his post at the bottom of page 1 of this thread with regard to forcing emergence of K.

quote:There are lots of ways that people use to "take heaven by force" which I believe is the inner meaning to this phrase, which is to force the raising of the Kundalini without regard to any commitment to true spiritual attainment or union with God. Some do it by having sex but teaching themselves to stop short of orgasm and forcefully willing the light up the spinal stalk and into the higher chakras. Others mentally focus on the base chakra and rupture the sheath by sheer will power. These people almost always get hurt pretty bad. Others have figured out ways to erode the sheath away by applying pranic energy to the base chakra which kind of burns the sheath away. This may be a little more gentle since it takes time, and you may get the benefit of numerous smaller releases which either cause you to smarten up and back away, or else it will have the effect of clearing the pathway by burning away dross a little more gradually. It will still hurt though, and if it gets out of control you're screwed.

[Jon_88]

For unknown reasons my Kundalini has ehh been acting up again 2 days ago .While i didnt experience any "medusa" thingys I think i learned what the so called "layers of kundalini" is .

When i was going to bed it became clear to me that it wasnt the standard kundalini maintenance/preparations activity that is always going on after kundalini becomes activ . I was somewhat worried about that since i realy dont want any major activity until i have plenty time off . But Ive do not  activily influence Kundalini unless i feel im in a real crisis.

Anyway after i while of relaxing/observing i found a pattern to it. 1 area in my body that the energy feelings where definity strongest in. While im not sure i remember the sequence complety it went something like this: The bottom chacra to the spine to stomach ,further up the spine ,little lung/chest activity -then 3rd eye/crown activity.

Now The cryptic named "layers" i persive to be that when a sequence is completed it starts over. BUT there is a Amplitude diffrence in the emotions it brings with it(if not energy also but thats guessing[]) . Wich seem to grow almost exponetially for each sequence(or "layer") completed. I do not know the time it took for a full sequence to complete but i suspect 10-15 minutes (i also suspect it to be highly induvidual).

I ended the it after i experienced so much feelings in the lower chacra that i had a physical erh orgasm(lol no hands[]).Dont get me wrong i was in bliss in the rest of my body also [], I guess 2-3 hours had passed . I ended it with a sleeping pill (imovane).Wich i keep around to errh "hamper" my spiritual progress in emergencys.

Now 2 days later I recovered very nicely ,has been experiencing some hightened sences ,taste espessially but nothing majorly mystifistical[] , last year when the same happend i was knocked out for a month.Hmm also last year during the Kundalini activity the movement up the spine was very burny and painfull ,that was not the case now.

Just sweet bliss(after a while its like laying in a river of emotions). Exept for 1 part ,when it connects to the spine from the base chacra its pretty stingy like someone digs their nail right into it. But even so it seems my body is adapting to the input.
Perhaps a few more times i can see the how kundalini concludes naturally.

[pod3]

Yes, I have followed those instructions, where they apply, and am asking about the amount of power generated, because I beleive I have done this successfully with no drama.

To call this heat is like calling ki electricity. I see the similarities, but it is not a perfect example. A great deal of radiation was released, but it did not cause some of the physical burns or psychosis I've heard of.

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by pod3

Yes, I have followed those instructions, where they apply, and am asking about the amount of power generated, because I beleive I have done this successfully with no drama.

To call this heat is like calling ki electricity. I see the similarities, but it is not a perfect example. A great deal of radiation was released, but it did not cause some of the physical burns or psychosis I've heard of.

So...Pod3, what's your conclusion then? Do you think that if you practiced some of the other, more boring, time consuming instructions you might get different results? I think I've read quite a few threads from different people here who recommend a different approach than to just sit down and attempt to pop the cork in one big explosion. Maybe you should thank God that the sheath held intact for your safety....

Tayesin, thanks for the comment on mental institutions. I've been aware of this little tidbit for a long time myself. I've seen estimates from spiritually minded psychiatrists and psychologists of 1/3 to 1/2 of all people in mental institutions being the unfortunate victims of premature Kundalini awakenings due to a variety of reasons--including experimentation.

Here are a few comments from people who have unleashed Kundalini without regard to the whole spiritual equation (aka: they thought they'd get lucky and it wouldn't hurt *them*)-----

"... did not handle my psychosis well. My family put me in a mental hospital where they hit me with lots of drugs. I feel ruined now. Life provides no joy and I have not much desire to do anything. My family fought me bitterly over my Kundalini. Now I realize I was right and they were wrong. Too late now, I was so vulnerable then. Now I have less vulnerability but no pleasure from life ...I don't know what to do now."

"At age 20 a major Kundalini/Prana/Chi/energy burst to the brain essentially incapicitated me for many months. At the time I was very pessimistic about my future. Social welfare here I come! I was filled with a tremendous fear to venture out beyond my home or speak to anyone. I became jealous of everyone. My mind and body were pretty much useless except to lie down in a dark room confused. I was very ashamed of myself."

"During this time I got an acute psychosis, that is I lost control. This, however, only lasted for three weeks, and never came back. The current kept on flowing upwards, and when its power increased — and from time to time felt like burning fire and was very painful — it affected my health. It was like I was devoured from inside by this terrible energy, which roared through my body and caused a most unpleasant over-pressure in the brain."

"When the process of Kundalini had lasted in me for about ten years, I was too tired out to be able to earn a living on my own. I went to a doctor and said: "It is all crazy, my Kundalini has aroused. What shall I do?" And then I told him about my state.
"You are deeply psychotic", he said. "I will send you to a good psychiatrist. The energy you are talking about does not exist. You have serious misconceptions".
I got sick pay and later disability pension, with the diagnose paranoid schizophrenia, without first having been taken in for a mental examination. No doctor that I spoke to concerning my pension believed my talk about Kundalini."

It's not that hard to find an endless amount of this stuff if you google well. Here is a very sage comment by one survivor:

"Without trying to sound biased, it's been my experience that kundalini yoga is best understood by Tibetan Buddhist practioners, in the sense that they contextualize the yoga within a greater system so as to not allow the method or means to eclipse the end (which is wisdom and compassion). I truly believe that when a force is not harnessed for the purpose of some worthy end then it will cause havoc sooner or later."

My challenge to anyone who is willing to jump into this cauldron is, "what is your motivation for doing this?". The answer to this question really matters.

[Noxerus]

.

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by Noxerus

<snip> Be kind and patient, prepare yourself for as much time as it will take you - even if it takes you a few decades of work - and the path will open before you with all its splendour, inviting you to walk it - for you will have truly earned that right by that time.

Love and light.

Beautiful--Thank You!! []

[Jon_88]

Here is the method I used to start kundalini. No cryptic "rupture of seals" or any kind of that.

After reading countless letters of Kundalini "victims". There is 1 group that is overrepresented , that is meditiationpeople espessially those that enjoy TM (Trans..something..meditiation).

So why so many TM practioners ? I dunno ,i could hazard a guess that it is because of so many espessially in america do it.compared to other arts (it happens in diffrent yoga styles also) .

I also belive that it has something to do with the length of time spent in such a meditative state.

Wich brings us to me. I didnt know anything about any Kundalini at all ,hadnt even heard the word when i was trying to learn OBE.
And i wanted to learn it VERY much [].

So I spent several hours a day trying out the techniqes (espessially rope and doorway techniqes) . Then i got some time off from what im normally doing .And i made an atempt that lasted about 7 hours spent in deep trance/meditation . Then something happend and it was not OBE[].

I was experiencing odd feelings in my lower chacra(didnt know the word chacra either at that time) and it twarted my OBE atempt since i could not focus properly with thise emotions.

I explored the feelings for a while since they where highly pleasureble . Then woke up. The next day i tried again and after several hours the odd sensations came again , I Explored them this time also and they got much more intence . Then i woke up and guess what ,the feelings didnt dissepate.

I was in a odd state , couldnt sleep cause i didnt tire out ,even with a day of physical exercise . After 72 hours i called the docter and got some sleeping pills and some antiphycotics + a pchycolgist apointment.  

But enough of that , anyone reading half this thread will know about the dangers .So they shant say they were unknowlegeble about it.
So to sum up the method : Put yourself into a state where it can happen(meditation) And wait there for a good while and do it often ,do not look for kundalini just wait , it will find you . Or in yet another wording ,OVERDO MEDITATION [].

And here is the best i kundalini "control" advise i can give .
Get sleeping pills Before trying this , imovane is a good brand wich has given me only poor taste the day after. This way you have a full month or so to get to terms with the new situation , before desiding on help from docters (wich is a poor idea,for anything else than pushing sleeping pills).

Ohh and I probably Cant help you with coping any more with kundalini than this last advise ,just so you know.

[Tarconiss]

I spent about the last hour, looking through this thread, as I've been sidetracked from my energetic attachments, and as was put, let myself wallow inside my depressed thoughts. December was horrible for me, and I've spent the last 2 months getting out of my depression. I had an epiphany about myself and noticed that I really needed to start working on my life, as I have been slacking for a few years... I'm only 17 at the moment but I have been through a lot.

I've always been interested in raiseing my Kundalini, ever since hearing about it. When I did first hear about it, I felt a bit of a tug from myself to try and pursue Kundalini, as also what had happened when I first began looking into OBE's.... Over the past few years I have been working off and on, with developing my energy.

When I read some parts of this Thread, I felt compelled to share a part of myself with everyone, because thought being young, and inexerienced in a lot that deals with life, I've felt deep connections and learned a LOT of things that the 'average' teen normally wouldnt have access of wisdom to. I don't intend to be bragging... Maybe its an insecurity of mine to, try to have someone be able to connect with me and reveal to me parts of myself that I would like to understand. I understand that even if I was told I probobly wouldn't hold it in, and be able to apply any part of the information to my life yet, because its not the right time.... and that I'de only find it when intended.... But it's kindof fustrateing.... Oh well.. I'm sure most of you can understand atleast part of what I'm going through.. But yeah... What I felt compelled to show you guys was an excerpt from part of my LiveJournal entrees... ( a link to it is in my profile if anyone cares )....

If you'd rather not waste your time and check this out, By all means just skip ahead to the next post.

----------------------------

" What must be done now that I am here.... But though I am here.. just how deep down have I dug, and how much farther could I go? Senses say, I can go on forever... and I believe it.... But just what am I talking about right now, and how relevent is it to others... Maybe a lot.... maybe nothing... Maybe its not my place to judge. I live in the darkness of the light my body takes in and applies... That would make me an abstract would it not? Too much to conform, yet still comparable to be categorized in the eyes of others.... My maze of thoughts leads me through a lot of space of empty thoughts, and broken false memories... Theres another idea to comprehend right there.... broken false memories.... is that to say that I've blinded myself and saw contortion, but have seen the reality and truth of it, and shattered the false impression for my better? its still here... still has root... most swept away by the light that makes me be abstract, to clense and heal me, yet still with some left attachment by me or it to linger and carry on for another day... What does the light have planned for me that it allows this clutter to continue on in me.... Should I remove it, or continue being the bystander I've let myself be? heh... Bystander - the opportune idealism to let go and observe.... This is what I've thought would help me deal with things.. If I were to watch and learn... then I'de be set.... But alas... Without action.... without takeing grasp again and becomeing the body that is to Project, something of which I've been wanting to do for years now... I see now that I must Grab those roots and remove them myself if I am to completely regain myself, to learn to re-aquaint myself and take control of that which eludes me..... Maybe I should think of this as a sort of game that I've intended to win for my life, but have only learned to press -Start- with, and my Prologue to be seen... Maybe thats how I can consider this... My observations have been the Opening sequence, and now that I am about to Press the start button, and enter Adulthood.... My True journey begins... How complex could I make this for myself.... Put use to the Labyrinth of which My active Minotaur NPC, can be my guide once more.... Now to find My Tutorial... Better yet.... I've always been wanting to know what my metaphorical "stats" have been through my life... Maybe I should continue to explore the depths of my mind again, but this time time action, and gain brownie points with myself, in removeing those roots... The light clears the wreckage but leaves what it can't handle... Maybe it's so weak to move through because there is so much reckage it can't... no... wont remove because that is the bear of what I must do for myself to grow and develop like I've always hoped to... aahh.. I see now, that my Minotaur can only help me in my own Labyrinth and removeing these falsities, gets me better prepared to take on, what is out of my inner depths, for when I do find myself exploreing the outside, I don't become overwhelmed again and cause more self aggrivations... Its all my fault and im still liveing my lie.... take bit by bit and regrow what I've damaged to myself and to the connections of all of those that I've previously known..... Let me work on something right now.... My own insanity is an illusion....... my last resort self defence mechanism to truely keep there, in a state of observation without control.... I'm glad my body had proper previous commands and morals to live by in my fault... ahh... yes... My own true, Truth in Fault... That is something I've desired to use on the moments that I felt I could... and now... its horboring is found.... " Tell me what you see, Am I what you need, Truth in Fault I see, You're broken in front of me "..... Ironic how I precognitize lyrics for myself , sometimes without completely understanding why, till moments like these... This isnt the first song that I speak to myself in words though.... but thats something else to talk about, that is not for this moment... I've found myself broken right on front of myself to find truth in my own act of mal-action. Now I tell myself that I am what I need to take control, because I see myself trying to hard to watch and control, and not being in the right 'place' to be, in order to do so.... HA!!.. I'm my own backseat driver!!... how amuseing... Again I find myself relating to music again... I am reminded of the song "Drive" by Incubus. This shall be my first mental action, to tell my confused childish "chaufer" to grow up, by becomeing the one who takes grasp of this metaphorical 'wheel' to take and steer, as the song would put. Now I hope to be "Leading with the right body" as the 'cure team' would put it in the newsletters from www.immunics.org ...... thinking it over, i find myself slightly amazed at how i managed to get this far, so positively, with letting go of the wheel, and haveing something or someone to be there for me to take control for me in my loss of faith in myself and all else.... wait.... thats another lie.... I don't think i've ever lost faith... I just tried takeing the easy way out of things, and stopped putting effort into things.... alright.... now that I have some more sorted out in myself, I think I will let myself clean the trash of what I illusion myself to continue to believe and tell others.... I'm decideing to do this now to atone for my lies, and truly ask for a major act of forgiveness from all of whom this may effect.... I've never actively tried to commit suicide, and though I have done things to illusion myself into believeing that I have, I now take grasp of this Viel, and Tear it off... I need the light in my life, and my shadow and darkness must be clensed if I am to control and develop what I want to do with myself..... thought Jokeing around to hang myself before, I've never attempted... I don't know wether or not my neck could withstand it, with however much I want to believe that I'm strong enough to do so... I've jumped from high places before and can simulate the sudden jerk and tugg of my body, in my mind to what i think would be an accurate degree.... and i now remive this illusion from my being....... I don't remember what I said or thought to believe for my second attempt at it, and I remove and clear this out of my life.... The third moment, of when I stated that I let myself fall from a high wall landing on concreted flat on my back, and haveing that feeling of something say that my body wont give up on me.... well.. That feeling has always been there, and i've come to recognize that though I might have let it slip from my complete control and done bad things to it, I love myself and plan to restore and recover from the things i've done to myself... And as for the illusion for the falling... I've taken a couple of leaps of faith before with flipping off of things or jumping from high places, and landing with a thud before, so it seems it was easy for me to believe that I could have done that, even the mental imagery and the feelings, and thoughts of it.... These are false, and I remove these from myself now..... :: takes a deep breath and prays for forgiveness, upon wanting for atone for his sins against everything he's done that delt with his lies towards others, and asks for help upon attempting to better himself and all others, so that he may find himself on the path he was intended to partake upon in this life :: ..... Theres more that I must say, now that I have the opportunity.... I have heard things, aswell as thought to have heard things before, but I never had objective voices in the manner that i seemed to speak of before... Curtio and Damina.... Though these names did randomly come to me, the voices that I spoke to have had, we're my own thoughts. So confused and so willing to be illusioned, upon not being able to focus my maze of thoughts i always had, I led myself to speak that I had voices, when my own wandering thoughts and powerful emotions produced feelings that every person may go through at one point or another. These emotions confused me and I had to put a label on them somehow.... with the feminine thoughts leading on physical attraction towards guys, aswell as other thoughts that could be labeled as female in today's world, I set down as hearing myself as Damina.... With the Uber-masculine thoughts and cockyness, and other overly male-sterotypical things, I labeled as being from Curtio. With all of the Mental clutter I found myself fighting in my own mind, against myself, and illusioned it to be of them going back and forward at eachother... All of this happeneds while I find myself trying to let go and take that backseat, to observe and not be caught in the middle, to escape certain negative thoughts and emotions.... But something that I personally feel is true, is the dark part of me, and the being that haunts me every now and again... Because of being so weak and spread so thin in mental control with all of these things going on at once.... I think something found me a prime target to take advantage of, expecially with the onslaught of emotional, physical, and mental distress I tried either copeing with or escapeing, from school life, and home life..... aswell as the online life i found myself to be part of, also adding to my list of feelings and lessons learned decades ahead of time... The Pain i felt was real in my life... everything that I felt was real... the experiences put up to explain them to modern society, in part were false... but the sensations were infact real, and that wont be taken away from me, nomatter what any mortal sais, to prove me wrong... I too am only mortal, but I've had my fair share of true experiences, nomatter what the source of it be, and its because I embrace this fact, that I may act as proud as I do, when I speak of myself, because though it most likely isnt my place to judge lives with circumstances, I still have my faults, and I what I find is that within the frame of life that I've had, compared to the actions i hear about from others at thier worst.... It may not be to the extreme that I've been through myself, and I act accordingly to my thoughts on it, and try and help with whatever I can, because in the sense of 'do unto others as you would have done to you' I would have GRATEFULLY and GLADDLY accepted any sort of the type of comfort, I think I try to offer and share with others..... I still fight myself and the 'demon' shall i put it, that plagues me, because I absolutely KNOW that it is real. My time to train again, to fight back has arrived and now I must do what i can, to 'earn brownie points', in myself to strengthen and develop the traits and qualities needed to do what I need to do.


-----------


If you are one of the people that I have told these stories to... yes... I now understand and admit that I Lied directly to you all to explain a part of myself that i never would let myself figure out, or that I was too ashamed to say otherwise too... I only wanted to relate what feelings i've been through, to somehow feel close enough to help... I understand my mistake, and i accept whatever emotions or feelings and words you might decide to curse me with. Tonight I let go of a MASSIVE insecurity and have allowed myself to finally take any punishment and responcibility for haveing decieved you all. I am of love... I am of hate... I am of that which I cannot fully comprehend yet.... And I strive to be of truth, aswell... I've spoken some major truth in this post, although the beginning may have been of 'deep thoughted incoherency'..... I am who I am, and we are who we are... I'm beginning to really work for my betterment, and I hope at the least you can appreciate or respect, atleast that much of me.

With much love, and acceptance..... The true, Theodore..... "


-------------------


In this I had an opening to the truth in my life, And I feel it has been a small but pivitol step in my life, towards what I have in store for myself.

This may have not been much to do with the Original Kundalini thread.... But Kundalini is something in the back of my mind that I aim on trying to develop a connection with. I have a subtle understanding of what I am doing with my life, but its nowhere near what I would like to be grasping of myself. Maybe its my mind feeling a vacuume in itself for the abilities my soul has developed but hasnt quite established in this body... or maybe I'm still unsure of what it is that I really want.... But the things spoken about, by Boydster, about the self and what you should have worked through already before leaping headstrong into Kundalini.... I could relate to some of them, with haveing touched part of them, already, though being so young. I'm not sure... I'm just babbling at this point... I'm just trying to figure things out still i guess... one last thing... When He stated that the Heart Chakra was a comman connection of the two, and that Love was something that you should accept into it as much as you can, or something like that... Love has always been a integral part of my existance and dureing some of the posts I would feel the urge to summon energy inside of myself.. interestingly enough it comes in short warm and tingly waves from the bottom of my spine, along my back and into my head, and usually through my back and shoulders into my arms and hands.... Oh well...

If I would only hear myself trying to help guide me through this all... heh... oh well.

Take care, and much love...

[pod3]

OK, It's like this. I think of, from Blavatski's writings, the idea combining of the upper and lower fires. It could depend, but you should find seven shells around each chakra as connection points. (It is beleived that there are seven energy bodies joined at the chakras, actually 49 in number.) So, we imagine the shells mentioned here as being blockages around the chakras and just will them gone.

Then, the fires mix. From my experience, this is doublespeak for consolidating your higher ideals with physical drives. Sure, you'd go crazy if you cannot reconcile these things, and making up your mind is the only way to perfom majickal feats of faith. But vital energies may melt or even vaporize negs. Now, I hear of people burning THEMSELVES with it?

Now, for me, these reconciliations have forced me to deal with a few recurring illnesses, which I now know to have been psychosomatic. Considering myself, if some peculiar leprosy were to befall someone, or if they were to spontaneously combust, would these things not be the forceful externalizations of some serious masochism?

Aren't the serpents flying out of peoples' heads totemic, and the ectoplasm secondary?

[jilola]

Based on my experience with kundalini the experience tends to be in alignment with what you and your life situation happens to be at the time it rises.
For the most part it rises when it rises and anything you do has almost negligible effect on it.  The actual techniques are numerous but all seems to me boil down to allowing te energy to take its course.

What matters in the instant it does rise is how well you are balanced  with your physical being and your spritual reality. Any hangups, repressed areas of personality etc. are likely to cause glitches in the process that willlead to many of the negative sumptoms attributes to kundalini. It's not the energy but the conduit that causes turbulence. Think of flowing water in pipes and you'll get the idea.

Imho, what the different techniques do is help you get more balanced both physically and spiritually. Not perfect or even good, but balanced in the sense that you've acknowledged the characteristics that describe you at any moment and feel in a sense unified. Not a collection of traits and states of being but a whole, an evolving process.
The reason behind the warnings against "raising kundalini too early/to quickly...." is exactly that. When you force something you tend to neglect essential parts of your being thus creating severe imbalances that will eventually be brought to head when the energy does start to flow. The energy itself isn't the culprit.

As for the physical sensations associated with the raising  of kundalini I believe they depend strongly on the persons level of balance at the time and how and for what reason he/she is looking to evolve in the directin that causes kundalini to be triggered. This again hints at the idea of an integrated and well balanced person feeling less of the symptoms than someone who is not prepared, adjusted and expecting the energy.

A bit late for this sort of thinking but that's how I've come relate to kundalini. I hope it helps.

2cents & L&L
Jouni

[pod3]

Yes! I believe anything called upon by fear would naturally be dispelled by self confidence. As accidental raisings are caused by people forgetting themselves, this will look to me like so much fancy-talk -- until I'm shown otherwise by prashakti.

The more incomprehensible things I learn to comprehend, the more I think there is a comprehensible reason for everything.

[Kalonek]

Any news from Targa ?? I'm still watching this post closely and look forward for his experiences with kundalini !

[boydster]

quote:Originally posted by jilola

Based on my experience with kundalini the experience tends to be in alignment with what you and your life situation happens to be at the time it rises.
For the most part it rises when it rises and anything you do has almost negligible effect on it.  The actual techniques are numerous but all seems to me boil down to allowing te energy to take its course.  [snip]

2cents & L&L
Jouni

Hi Jouni,

I've talked to a quite a number of people for whom this is true. For whatever reason, they wake up one day and find themselves permanently stuck on "Mr Frog's Wild Ride". All they can do is try to ground themselves and learn tricks to get sleep at night, etc. Some live as semi-invalids, unable to hold down jobs. Others, although previously not involved with spiritual concepts, become deeply spiritual people.

There is another type of Kundalini activity though, and I find myself in this catagory. The fire below doesn't move unless I summon it, and it takes some considerable will power and concentration to do it. It is a type of yoga, I guess. I've never learned any real yoga from anyone, but what I've developed over about a 20 year period is a type of yoga which is very deliberate and benefits from years of constant practice.

I'd like to think that this second type of Kundalini activity is how it's supposed to be. I can't imagine that it's natural or intended by our Creator that people live with this painful, out-of-control thing raging inside ones body. As I said, I've met a number of people for whom this is the case and my heart goes out to them for their trials.

I believe that you'll find a lot more instances of the former type when perusing public data. My theory on this is that those people are usually looking for help with a problem they can barely understand. The latter group are usually quietly going about their business, usually under the tuteledge of a master who guides and protects them. It is also generally true that you'll find those from the latter group are the ones warning people away from playing with Kundalini, having experienced it enough to understand the enormous long term discipline and sacrifice necessary to stay safe and sane.

[Targa]

Sorry about the delay, Kalonek.  []

OK, so it's been approximately three weeks since I awoke kundalini, and here's my update:

I found that I rather quickly lost my focus on things metaphysical.  Prior to this, I was practicing energy body work and avidly reading and studying about chakras, energy cords, lucid dreaming, OBE's, etc.  After the first several days I found myself concentrating more on watching television, working around the house, etc.  I believe this has to do with a subconscious desire to ground myself and "come back down to earth" or "get my head out of the clouds", so-to-speak.  I have not completely stopped energy body work, meditation, and those things, but they are much more moderated.

I am experiencing acute insomnia from kundalini.  During the daytime I feel fine, but when I relax in bed and am getting drowsy, I begin to feel "waves" of energy that flow up from the root chakra to the crown chakra approximately every 3-5 minutes.  While it does not produce headaches as described by some other sufferers, it does have the effect of making me feel "wired", as if I've just had 5 cups of strong coffee.

I have primarily been focusing on developing the third eye, but as of yet have not experienced anything out of the ordinary.  I have, however, had a number of very interesting dreams.  In one dream, for example, I had a conversation with Reorx (sp?), a Diety from a different world/universe as mentioned in a popular fantasy novel.

Overall, other than insomnia and quitting smoking, I am pretty much the same person that I was prior to this experience.  I should mention though, that there have been times when kundalini (energy/vibration/failure to adapt?) pushed me to the very edge of sanity, and I could almost literally sense the thin borderline of sanity/insanity.

Also, I still get pains on the right side of my neck where the "snake" was/is.

I wonder, has anyone tried prosac or valium or something similar to deal with this?  Currently I'm having to take 1mg of Xanax per night, which is too much IMO.

I also wonder at what, exactly, this kundalini energy is doing, if anything?  On the one hand, you might think that this "power of God" constantly flowing into your head would somehow transform you, or at least the way you think.  But on the other hand, there are those people who have been dealing with the negative effects of kundalini for years, and none of them seem to be any more enlightened than when they started out.

On the whole, if I had to do it over again, I'm 50/50.  Based on the fact that I've been able to quit a lifelong habit/addiction to tobacco, it's been a good thing.  If not for that, however, I would wish I didn't do it.  My advice:  Heed all the warnings, and allow kundalini to be raised in its own time, without any forcing.  Grounding does help, but not alot, and does not prevent nighttime flow of kundalini energy.

[Noxerus]

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