staying grounded and in control...

[Ewok]

Ok i think the tide is high and things are getting a little out of hand.

A litle background info: i have emotional trauma and over the years i've been trying to heal it. Lately i feel like i'm getting closer and closer, i'm more in touch with my emotional state, but i have little control.

Increasingly i feel like i'm on the edge of loosing self control. i need to learn some emergency technicues on how to stay CALM and GROUNDED in the pressent. I got these mental loops, with mix of anger lust and fear on it. And its spinning and sometimes i feel like its going to sneak up on me and kick me in the butt.

One way to address it is thro physical body: i find that i tend to forget to breeze very often and when i forget to breeze i kind of loose my mental RPM and dive down. So breething deep and steady is a must. Then theres my body, sometimes when i'm very in touch with my emotianl state and i can feel trauma and me are face to face my body starts shaking, like shivers like really powerful shaking. And THAT is happing at increasing intevals and intervals are likely to increase.

Im taking herbal remedies, im not going to take any benzos and syntetic remedies.

I think staying in present is the most important. I dont even have any people in the physical to whom i can relate.

I know this isnt related to AP but i think people here might be able to help.
When i try to AP i can not reach a trance state often, very raraly i find myself consious in a trance. Its like i can not relax, every time i relax i jerk mentally and back in lower orbit.

[catmeow]

hello Ewok

I don't really feel qualified to advise you, it may be that you need to get some sort of counselling or something.

However, I have a good friend who is a Reiki healer and she used to do a lot of work for an organisation which helped people with mental/emotional difficulties.  Apparently the people who run this charity LOVED my reiki healer friend.  The people she treated needed substantially reduced medications and were doing really well.  Unfortunately this particular organization is government funded and they pulled a lot of funding, so my friend (she can't do this work for free - it's how she pays the mortgage and feeds her kids) couldn't work there any more.  Needless to say the medication requirements went right back up again and the organisers were distraught (with our wonderful UK government).  Reiki does seem to work.

You could try seeing a Reiki healer and getting your chakras balanced.  It's just a thought.

catmeow

[Leo Volont]

Dear Ewok,

Wow!  You sound like you have serious problems that could effect your ability to keep employment, or even your ability to stay out of jail.  You could even be a danger to yourself and to others, while not meaning to be.  Uncontrollable Anger can do all that.

Anger Management Classes are good in their own way -- people learn how to recognize the onset of Anger and are taught to build up within themselves mechanisms for asserting control over their anger.  But typically Anger Management works best for those whose Anger is the least chronic, and powerful.  Your case seems extreme.

I would recommend Divine Intervention.  God and the Angels might be able to help, but that is providing you are able to make the Connection.  Religious Conversion has a pacifying effect on some people.

 But if that could not work for you, then, although pharmaceuticals are not perfect and drugs have their deleterious side effects, still, in your extreme case, they might be useful for keeping you under control while Time heals you of your Trauma.  As the Trauma you have experienced recedes into the Past, its effects on your present state of mind will slowly decrease.  You could take prescriptions to protect yourself while the grips of your Trauma are still strong, and slowly ween yourself off of medication as the conditions of your Life allow you to get past your bad experiences.

Also, Catsmeow's suggestion of Reiki could also be positive.  Many Therapies could work.  Almost any Therapist using any Therapy who provides you with Calming Treatment and personal Care would help to heal the wounds opened up by your Trauma.

You did not mention it, but if you are living alone, you might consider getting a dog or a few cats.  If you must work and stay away from your dwelling for many hours a day, a dog would not be good, since they need to go out to poop and such, and they get very lonely and will bark like crazy and tear up the furniture if left too long by themselves.  But cats can do well alone and they never need to go outside, as they can go in their 'litter boxes'.  The Love you get from animals is also very healing.  Just get very loving kitties.  Try not to get kitties from the same litter, because they might stay with themselves rather than bond with you.  Don't get two adult cats, as they might quarrel forever over dominance, but often an Adult Cat will get along well with a new kitten.  A few kitten from different litters would be perfect.  A single cat could also work -- many people own only one cat.  But since I began keeping more than one cat, I've noticed that they do enjoy each other -- playing, sleeping together, grooming.  Heaven's knows what they do together when I am away.  In choosing a Cat, pick the best possible cat -- the one that comes to the front of the cage and looks you in the eye and meows at you.  When you pick it up, it begins to purr.  In other words, choose the Cat that chooses you.  Do NOT pick a cat from the back of the cage whom you feel sorry for.  Remember, that if the Nice Cat from the front of the Cage who is meowing for you does not get adopted, because nobody feels sorry for it, then IT is the one that will get destroyed.   So take the Cat that loves you the most already and who is begging you vocally to save it.  Believe me, it will be eternally grateful to you.  And its love, companionship and friendship will sooth you and give you some happiness which will help you grow past your trauma.

[Ewok]

"You could try seeing a Reiki healer and getting your chakras balanced. It's just a thought"

Cat meaw, seeing a Reiki healer is a luxury i can not afford very often, i ve seen a few couple of years back but that didnt help much.

Its money thats the biggest problem, and its difficult to function as a healthy member of the society. Ive been trying to raise £2000 for my healing and i only got 900 , and thats in 6 month! And i was fired from my bar job, and im still trying to find another one.

What i need is a seater, who could sit with me and gudie me while i take psychich medecine and release emotional blocks.

If buddha could come down and nurse me back to health that would be nice.



And Leo, that reminds me, i have to rent Anger Management to watch on video

By the way its 22 years since the trauma, time heals yes, but its not something that simply fades off, it needs to be healed.

As for getting a dog or a cat, lol, no im not living alone. Im STUCK in my parents house. Back when i was akid i had 2 dogs, that helped A LOT. I so want an animal in my place but i need to move out first. I even read cat encyclopedias in my local library to make me feel better and to learn enough about cats so that when i do move out i am ready for one!

Anyway thanks for help

[Leo Volont]

As for getting a dog or a cat, lol, no im not living alone. Im STUCK in my parents house. Back when i was akid i had 2 dogs, that helped A LOT. I so want an animal in my place but i need to move out first. I even read cat encyclopedias in my local library to make me feel better and to learn enough about cats so that when i do move out i am ready for one!

Anyway thanks for help

Maybe you could become a Feline Volunteer at some local Veterinary Hospital or Animal Kennel.  You see, kittens need to be Socialized by Human Contact.  They suggest that kittens need about 20 minutes of interaction with humans a day so that they can become optimally 'adoptable', though my expertise suggests that less time than that would suffice.  Often litters of Kittens are turned in to the care of Veterinary Clinics or Animal Kennels and Shelters which are glad to receive Volunteers who will spend time each day with the little kitties to assure that they will not grow up wild and unadoptable, that is, destined to be Destroyed.  You would think that these Hospitals and Kennels would have employees to do such things, but, really, they are much too busy to stand around kissing kittens.  You would not be expected to feed them, or clean their cages or clean out their boxes.  Those duties are for the paid labor.  You would simply do the fun part... kissing kittens.  Of course, it can be minimally dangerous.  Sometimes litters of slightly older kittens are brought in, and the little things are already irreversably 'feral'.  They can bite you up like sewing machines if you are not careful.  I have learned that Kittens can still be socialized while they still have that very young fur that seems to stand up.  When a kittens fur begins to lay back, like on an adult cat, then they must be approached with caution.  Most of the time they will give you warning -- spitting, hissing, holding their ears back... all preludes to attack... and they will attack you in order to attempt to escape from their cage.  But if it's fur is still that soft and fluffy kitten fur, then it does not matter how rebellious they seem or what horrid noises they make -- THEY WILL NOT BITE (I suppose nature keeps them from biting until a certain age, in order to protect the Mother Cats).  You simply grab them by the scruff and hold them to your chest and kiss their little heads for 20 minutes a day.  Soon the demons are exorcised and they become charming little angels, and when they adopted, you feel as though you have accomplished something important.  Oh, that reminds me, after they are somewhat socialized, you can train them to come to the front of the cage and meow at people -- THAT IS AN ESSENTIAL SKILL THEY NEED TO GET ADOPTED and to help assure that they are not destroyed for being unwanted.  You train them by playing Hide and Seek with them... you duck down under or to the side of the cage which makes them come and look for you and meow for you.  After awhile, they do that whenever anybody walks into the room.

[Tyciol]

Are the Reikis grubbing for money or something?

You have tried to see a psychologist too right? Maybe those inter-helping groups?

[Leo Volont]

As for getting a dog or a cat, lol, no im not living alone. Im STUCK in my parents house. Back when i was akid i had 2 dogs, that helped A LOT. I so want an animal in my place but i need to move out first. I even read cat encyclopedias in my local library to make me feel better and to learn enough about cats so that when i do move out i am ready for one!

Anyway thanks for help

Oh!  In addition to being a Volunteer, as detailed in the Post above, you might also check the newspapers, and the On Line Schedules for Cat Shows and Dog Shows in your area.  If you are close to a Metropolitan Area anywhere in the Civilized World, then there will be Cat Shows in your area.  They typically go on for two days during the Week Ends.  Usually most of the people there are the Cat Owners, but there are spectators who attend.  What you do, is you find out who all the judges are and introduce yourself when they are not too busy.  Many judges are thrilled to find out that there are actual spectators, and so during their Judging they will be more vocal and informative (if they think just the owners are standing around, then they will likely be just 'business as usual' and silently just hang the numbers.  But with Enthusiasts in attendance, then they will discuss their rationales and tell interesting stories, etc).  Anyway, going to Shows will make you familiar with some wonderful breeds and some very beautiful cats.

However, like I tell everybody, do not pick a companion cat for its 'looks', but rather for its companionability.  You want the sweetest of all possible cats, no matter what it looks like.  An ugly little best friend is preferrable to the most beautiful aloof cat perpetually hiding in the closet.  But I am not silly enough not admit that if too cats are friendly, then the pretty one is to be preferred.  It is nice to own a hauntingly beautiful cat.  When they are sleeping peacefully, you can just sit and stare at them as though they are the loveliest Divine Works of Art.

[Ewok]

Dear Leo

Thanks for reply again matie, you seem to be a cat lover, so am i.
When i finally live in my own place i want to get a couple of Norwegian forest cats, or perhaps Main Coon cats, which ever cheaper or easier to find. I like large cats

As for voulantering to work in a local animal shelter, im in the UK and we dont have that many here, i dont think we do, well not at least in my small town. But that idea crossed my mind, i think it would benefit me, it would give me something to do as well as work reference for future employer.

Cats are trully wonderful creaters, just as dogs really.

Seeing that we are on astral forum, have you ever shape shiften into cats world? Cats have ties with Sirius 6D intelligence. (years spend learning - when im finally out i'll have plenty of stuff to talk about) Anyway, cats live in amazing world. If you get a chance you should try it, maybe ask a prayer and helpers will transform you next time you sleep/AP.

Anyway, sicne your cat afectionado, i just wanted to ask what is your view on neutering?

[Ewok]

Are the Reikis grubbing for money or something?

You have tried to see a psychologist too right? Maybe those inter-helping groups?

Yeahhhh .. all the urban shamans like to bag your money.

But, it seems practitioners are NOT healing their clients. The healing is done through shamans, if clients are open to receive it. Unfortunatelly, the core of my ego is tightened and i subconsiosly resist healing.

If i see a healer, he/she may dance around me, poke me with cristals, balance my chakras - but the actual problem is still in my grip. Its like a paralysis, the doorway is gripped by me and the grip is paralysed and i cant seem to ungrip it.  

[Leo Volont]

Dear Leo

...When i finally live in my own place i want to get a couple of Norwegian forest cats, or perhaps Main Coon cats, which ever cheaper or easier to find. I like large cats

....Anyway, sicne your cat afectionado, i just wanted to ask what is your view on neutering?

Oh, Yes!  Get a Main Coon. they are the gentle giants of the Cat World. But don't ignore any Ragdolls or Birman Temple Cats that may come your way.

Oh, yes, I believe in neutering.  Tom Cats would stink up the World with their marking and spraying if they aren't neutered.  Also, if left unneutered, they are far more aggressive.  

My indoor cats are neutered.  The outdoor ferals, because I can't catch them, are still un-neutered Toms.  They are always getting in fights, or they are anxious about sex.  Really, the neutered Toms are far happier creatures.

Tom Cats have a reputation for being stinky, and so many people will not adopt a male cat.  As a Volunteer, it took everything I could do to convince people that if a Male Kitten were neutered before maturity, then it was almost certain that they would never begin to mark and spray, and that even if they did, and they wouldn't, it would not smell anyway, since those horrible smells were produced by glands in the testicles.  Then I would tell them that where female cats always have their concerns, that neutered males are more typically happy-go-lucky clowns who love to get affection and love to give affection -- that in almost every way a neutered male is even preferrable to a female cat.

My two neutered males are wonderful cats which bear me out in everything I've said.  I have a six year old female Calico (all Calico's are female, by the way) who is something of a cranky Alpha.  She is territorial and possessive.  A real pain, a lot of the time.  But she is very assertive in her affection and sometimes attacks me to get her kisses and a rough massage.... just petting her is not enough, since she has gotten used to deep muscle rubdowns.

Have I told you that one of my favorite breeds is Oriental Spotted Tabby.  You need to watch their rather large eyes which are subject to imflamation, but they are the sweetest things.  I have an Oriental Silver  Spotted Tabby female who was almost a mature feral female.  But she took to following me around and she stayed ever close to my door.  So I threw a blanket over her one day and had her spayed.  She only wanted out once since I brought her home from the Vet, but then she thought twice and has not wanted out again.  She is so Sweet that even the feisty Calico likes her.  The two neutered toms also love her.  The Sweetness radiates from her.   And as she has grown she is ever becoming less of a feral and more like a true socialized domestic, becoming easier to approach.

[Ewok]

Leo my family only had one cat and we lost him when i was still little and can not comment on cats, but as for dogs, i can safely say that neutering dogs is wrong. Period.

I'm not quite sure about cats but i suppose RESPONSIBLE ownership, where owner and the cat are part of the team, even unnutered male wont tinkle if taught not to do so. Where as dozen of cats living with one owner, he or she simply can not connect on a deep level with them to influnece any control.

I did a good post about it here:
http://www.overgrow.com/edge/showthread.php?s=&threadid=534422

[Ewok]

Thats where the difference between cats and dogs kicks in. You simply can not have a dozen of dogs living with you, 1 or 2, MAYBE 3. But with cats its hard to say no and your always tempted to rescue some and add to your collection, whcih causes gender clashes.

[Leo Volont]

Leo my family only had one cat and we lost him when i was still little and can not comment on cats, but as for dogs, i can safely say that neutering dogs is wrong. Period.

I'm not quite sure about cats but i suppose RESPONSIBLE ownership, where owner and the cat are part of the team, even unnutered male wont tinkle if taught not to do so. Where as dozen of cats living with one owner, he or she simply can not connect on a deep level with them to influnece any control.

I did a good post about it here:
http://www.overgrow.com/edge/showthread.php?s=&threadid=534422

What's wrong with neutering dogs?  Doesn't testosterone do the same thing to them as it does to cats and men -- make them needlessly horny and aggressive?  

You know it used to not be such a big deal about neutering people.  It was great for the singing voice, and eunuchs were known to be intellectually unbeatable.  Apparently freeing the mind of sexual obsessions and aggressive tendencies does a great deal toward strengthening the basic intelligence.  At one of the Veterinary Hospitals I volunteered at, I kept trying to give them $35 to neuter me.  Save a lot a problems.

I think there is a big difference in how you relate to dogs and how you relate to cats.  Yes, you can 'train' dogs, that is, you can force them to conform their behavior to your own wishes.  Cats can only be temporarily intimidated, but as soon as you turn your back, they'll do what they feel like doing.  So with cats it is more like being their room-mate.  Everyone is basically just living together.  You can work in quality time, and play time and various ritual behaviors.  But if you try to force something on them against their will, they won't like it.

My most recent cat, a young Tom, had joined the Feral Feed Station Cats.  But he was socialized.  That means that he had belonged to a family that he had loved enough to learn to trust, but that despite that love, and despite the fact that he had food and shelter, nonetheless, he decided to leave them to try his luck with the Great Outdoors and Nothing.  You know what probably happened, don't you.  Somebody tried to 'train' him.  He broke somebody's rule, and somebody decided to punish him.  And the next time the door cracked open, he split and never looked back.   He was willing to starve and fight over bumpster scraps then to have a will imposed upon him by force.  Cats aren't dogs.  They won't take that intensity of oppression and suppression. Dogs will.  They are pack animals and unless they are born thinking they are Alphas, they are willing to accept being dominated and will automatically accept submissive roles.  Cats are not entirely un-social, and some cats will assert dominance, and some cats show some degree of willingness to be submissive, but not nearly to the same extent as dogs.  and it is because cats do not hunt in packs.  A cat knows that it can simply head off and be alone and do quite well enough by itself.   So you need to watch that you do not push a cat too far, or you will be pushing it out the door.  Hmmmm. Now that I think about it, my other Male Cat was given me by a Choir Lady who had to leave the country.  She got the cat because it started coming to her door.  It also had been a socialized cat that had 'moved out' of unacceptable living quarters.  Perhaps my Oriental Spotted Tabby had once been a former household resident -- I get the vibe from her that she was once exposed to some housewives 'household rules' and I always have to reassure her that she can jump up on anything she likes and stick her nose into anything she's curious about... though I warn them all about the stove, which they seem to understand.  Warnings are more acceptable to them than are 'rules'.  

You can beat a dog and it will curl up at your feet afterward. Cats are different.

[Tyciol]

So a real healer weakens your grip upon limiting biases?

[Juliet]

Hello, Ewok!

I can relate to your affinity toward animals.  I have always loved animals and have been sensitive to their emotions and signs physical distress.  Sometimes it's easier to trust a beloved dog or cat than someone that walks on two legs.  They are easier to trust and love because they do not ask for much in return.  At least, I felt that way when I was in my teens after several traumas I went through.  

I am not saying you feel that way.  I just thought I would share that with you because I harbored anger and pain for years that kept building and building.  Animals became my selfless companions that I could depend on when, at that time, when I could not, or would not, trust or depend on anyone else.  Cats, and dogs, helped me feel loved and safe--two things I did not feel and hid from everyone around me.  Very successfully too.  I am better now.  I'd say I have not felt this good in years.  I hope you will heal from the traumas you've experienced.  I let mine take over without realizing it.  

Have you witnessed an animal being hurt?  Something like this happened to me and I vowed I would save all the animals I could.  In a way, it became my mission.  I, too, volunteered at a Animal Shelter.  Despite the rules not to play with the animals, I would talk to them, pet them, rub their ears, and let them know someone cared because you never knew when their "day was up".  I did my best to get as many dogs and cats adopted but, despite my effort, I still felt like I could have done more.  I did not realize then that it was not my fault--referring to something I witnessed earlier that year that I was trying to rectify at that time, even though it was someone else's behavior.

When I started to get help for the experiences that occurred, I shut out all help.  Everyone.  I would not let anyone in, let alone touch me.  Why?  I didn't want to feel that pain and anger.  So I buried it inside, thinking it would go away and be forgotten.  That didn't happen.  It only made it worse.  However, I do know that a person cannot be made to get help, or accept healing unless they want it and allow it.  Hopefully, this will be soon for you.  

I am going to pray for you.  I know that may sound corny or even like it isn't much or won't work but it will work.  I know this because after everything I went through I met several people through the years that said they would pray for me.  I laughed at them silently, thinking God, or whoever you believe to be your god or goddess, Allah, or Buddha, did not care about me.  Otherwise, why would all of this have happened to me?  Slowly, I began to heal but it took a long time.  It has only been in the last four months or so that I have dealt with that pain and anger, seen it for what it was, and moved on, never to look back on it again.  A new chapter is beginning.  I changed how I looked at everything in my past.  Instead of traumas and tragedies, I decided to learn from them and move forward.  I sincerely hope you will be able to do the same.

I had the help of a wonderful lady who helped me through this, and still is.  In fact, I met her in these forums.  I don't know if she would want me to say her name so I won't.  

I was wondering about the times you experience a vision or something that resembles an AP experience.  Do they contain anything in them that happened during any of your traumas?  The reason I ask this is because, shortly after I had a major trauma, I developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD.  It can bring on visions of incidents from traumas, or contain things concerning the context of the trauma, referred to as flashbacks, in visions; you can relive the smells, like perfume, cigarette smoke, car exhaust, etc., where you can actually smell something from that incident; you can even taste things from that incident; you can hear sounds that trigger a memory; you can have nightmares; you can experience tactile memories; insomnia; depression.  I just mentioned PTSD as something to consider.  I learned also that due to the traumas you can blame yourself and hate yourself, feeling you are to blame, even though deep inside you know it is not true.  Realizing you are not responsible for someone else's behavior can take time because of the effects of the entire experience on your mind, body, and soul.  

These feelings can lead to spontaneous, impulsive, and dangerous behavior to yourself and others.  If you reach this point, you need to seek a professional therapist/counselor that can help you deal with the traumas you experienced.  You may be referred to a psychologist.  It does not mean you are crazy or strange.  You just have to deal with your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors with someone that is trained to understand them and you so you can receive the help you need.  It will not happen overnight.  It will take time for the walls you built around yourself for protection to slowly come down and for you to realize you are still the one in control of you and your life.

If you are unable to pay for some services, all services, doctors/therapists/counselors, medications--if necessary for a while, ask about programs that help assist you with payment.  Since you are unemployed(last time I read), you could be eligible for programs that pay for all your doctor's and counseling appointments as well as any medications, if needed.  If you live in or near a large city with about 30,000+ people, chances are you will be able to find these services relatively easy.  Just call Human Services or any local facility that offers counseling, even a psychologist's office can point you in the right direction for such services for those with limited or no financial means to pay for adequate assistance.  Finding help with a counselor or psychologist may not be appealing, especially at first, but it will help figure out what's going on, like PTSD or something else.  Finding help with a priest or other religious figure, like a shaman, etc., is a good way to go as well.  The concern that must be dealt with first is not harming yourself or others, even though you may not be aware of it.  Medication does not always work but it is worth a try to ease some of the negative behavior.  Meditation also helps, especially using sound--like a mantra or music.  If you use music, it should be relaxing music that is positive, like classical or some new age music is good.  Also recordings of water, birds, and other aspects of nature are good.  Just avoid Metallica, Korn, Godsmack, and Rob Zombie, even if it's nice to head bang to.  :wink:  LOL  I like these groups but sometimes more positive music and sounds are needed.    :P    

I hope this doesn't sound like a info-commercial or sermon! LOL  It's just that I related to your post and identified with your feelings.  Part of me was "pulled" to respond to your post, even though I had no idea what I would say except what I felt and hoped for your well-being.  I will pray for your physical, mental, spiritual healing, like was done for me.  One day, your walls will come down.  You will heal and discover you are the Whole You.

Love and Light,
Juliet

[Bex]

You did not mention it, but if you are living alone, you might consider getting a dog or a few cats.  If you must work and stay away from your dwelling for many hours a day, a dog would not be good, since they need to go out to poop and such, and they get very lonely and will bark like crazy and tear up the furniture if left too long by themselves.  But cats can do well alone and they never need to go outside, as they can go in their 'litter boxes'.  The Love you get from animals is also very healing.  Just get very loving kitties.  Try not to get kitties from the same litter, because they might stay with themselves rather than bond with you.  Don't get two adult cats, as they might quarrel forever over dominance, but often an Adult Cat will get along well with a new kitten.  A few kitten from different litters would be perfect.  A single cat could also work -- many people own only one cat.  But since I began keeping more than one cat, I've noticed that they do enjoy each other -- playing, sleeping together, grooming.  Heaven's knows what they do together when I am away.  In choosing a Cat, pick the best possible cat -- the one that comes to the front of the cage and looks you in the eye and meows at you.  When you pick it up, it begins to purr.  In other words, choose the Cat that chooses you.  Do NOT pick a cat from the back of the cage whom you feel sorry for.  Remember, that if the Nice Cat from the front of the Cage who is meowing for you does not get adopted, because nobody feels sorry for it, then IT is the one that will get destroyed.   So take the Cat that loves you the most already and who is begging you vocally to save it.  Believe me, it will be eternally grateful to you.  And its love, companionship and friendship will sooth you and give you some happiness which will help you grow past your trauma.

Just to comment on this:

I got a ferret six years ago, and she lived for six years.  She was the one in the back: the outcast.  The misfit!  Just like me.  She would scurry up my shoulder when I was crying and literally lick away my tears.  She would talk to me in her own little language, and she would always listen to me as if I knew what was best.  It was like having a child that never spoke back.  And never screamed "I hate you!" when she didn't get her way.

Then I got a cat that was up front, meowing, always needing attention.  It was the polar opposite from me, in personality.  It ran away after a month, not before becoming very, VERY pissy.  Like a 180 on the attitude.

So, I tried the cat thing again since I wasn't yet ready for another ferret (she was VERY dear to me).  It was a cage full of kittens.  ALL meowing up at the front, wanting me to pick them up, nipping (playfully) and being so damn cute.  Any of them would have been picked immediately, so your theory is total bunk to me, sorry.  But there was a black kitten in the back corner of the cage, awake and shaking, and not saying a thing.  I asked to see him and even while I held him he didn't say a thing.  He didn't even chirp or purr.  But after a day alone with me at home he ADOPTED my personality, or maybe had it all along, and became the best friend possible.  He curls around the speakers when I'm playing Ozzy Osbourne, so I named him Ozzy.  He meowed for the first time when I called him by that name.  He chose me, all right, but I had to choose him, too.

Sooo, I do not agree with your claim.  Save the pet that really needs it!

But, eh, if you're abusive, out-of-control, or angry all the time, just save us all the trouble and don't get a living being.  Get a stress ball.

[healer1238]

There is one way to calm down if u get fired up and that would be to do tai chi breathing just breathe in through ur nose and out through ur mouth and during this always think of happy thoughts so it goes well.
              Happy 2 help