How to respond when negativity happens to you.

[cristaphin]

I was just reading the HATRED thread.  Near the end, someone said that they thought the purpose of this thread was that it would be better if negativity didn't exist. Not what to do about it when it happened.

Now that's beautiful.

So...  Negativity happens.  You spend your time in contemplation of 'higher ideals', you try and see people as sparks of divineness, the negativity makes you shake your head.  But your not locked in a bubble, your not a hermit, you interact with other people.  What do you do when it happens to you? What do you do when it affects you in a way you MUST notice and take some sort of measure?

That's nice and abstract.  Lets have a fleshed out example to kick around, with an added twist geared to this type of forum, shall we?

You get a job. It pays on the upper end of what your skill and range is.  It has it's annoyances, but nothing to harsh. Your manager isn't around to constantly micomanage over your shoulder, and your team has a pretty free reign.
You have one real problem.  Your supervisor. S/he is a negative individual. Constantly gossiping, occasionally sabotaging the efforts of those around her.
You understand that she is insecure, has her issues (don't we all).

But her constant negative comments are bummin you out.
Finally, you say, "Can't we all stop sabotaging each other and cut down on all this malicious gossip?  It's creating a negative atmosphere, and is bummin me out."

To your face, she says "Yes".  Behind your back, she has you written up for racism.

There is the scenario.  If this is too easy for you, you can add that it isn't possible to talk with her, and you haven't the slightest idea if behind your back she's setting you up to get fired.

What do you do?

[Telos]

Be genuinely curious, and show an interest in her circumstance. Ask her why she is being so negative, and what is causing her to be this way? She might say, "sorry, just having a bad day," and stop, noticing that you were thoughtful enough to ask.

But people usually have reasons for acting the way they do. Resist negativity with superior reasoning, and communicate it empathetically.

[Cheyyne]

But people usually have reasons for acting the way they do. Resist negativity with superior reasoning, and communicate it empathetically.

That sounds like idealism, not realism. Negativity does happen, and it's not just because someone is misunderstood, or lost, or lonely, or any of those things that people like to brand others with. The fact is that, if they are, the case is so advanced that it's simply set in their psyche, and there's nothing you can to do get rid of it.

Taking the higher path often involves loving someone with a harsh lesson in how to live. If your team is doing right by you, and she's gobbing it all up, do what you have to to get her gone. Flooding her with heartfelt loving is not going to help the situation; freewill assures us of this. Instead, you must do what is within your power to get her removed from the station where she can hurt you further. This is self defense, and it's about doing what is necessary. Go to HER supervisor, preferably with your team as backup. If this is not an option, deceit might be. Fighting deceit with heartfelt honesty is pointless; by its nature, deceit PREYS upon honesty. If doing what's necessary to get her off your case means blackmailing her or inventing stories about lewd conduct towards you, it's within your right to do so... She forfeited her right to fair treatment. Getting her gone is what matters, and then you can get on with your good work.

I'm sure I'll be flooded with love & light for this view, but it's the way things work on this plane of existence. If you have an astral supervisor devoid of freewill, perhaps forcing your love upon her will do good. Chances are that it will not on Earth.

[Travesty]

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said that if you treat people right, 90% of the time they'll treat you right.  You can turn most mean people around with polite, loving straight-forwardness, however, you still have that 10% of negative people that are pure evil.  When it comes to them, as cheyyne said.... you gotta do what you gotta do

[CaCoDeMoN]

There is the scenario. If this is too easy for you, you can add that it isn't possible to talk with her, and you haven't the slightest idea if behind your back she's setting you up to get fired.

I'd just use magick in a way that she would get fired...

[Telos]

Negativity does happen, and it's not just because someone is misunderstood, or lost, or lonely, or any of those things that people like to brand others with. The fact is that, if they are, the case is so advanced that it's simply set in their psyche, and there's nothing you can to do get rid of it.

That sounds like pessimism, not realism.

We're not talking about a murdering rapist, here. Just a boss.

Although I'm still a senior in college, I've had the chance to study these types of environments and work in them temporarily. For sopohomores, they have a whole class dedicated to just this subject, called "Behavior and Organization." Cheyyne, let me tell you outright, your methods would get get laughed at before they got you fired.

It's one thing if your boss is involved in dubious behavior, but it's completely another if they're just being negative. Until they commit some kind of crime or violate company policy, they're your team member, and you show them respect.

I'm sure I'll be flooded with love & light for this view

No, I'd probably fire you too.

[alexd]

I don't think negativity is the right way to react, but all you can really do is try to create a positive outcome for everyone. If you exhaust all of your options then I don't think you have much of a choice. 0% negativity is a good goal. But realistically, if someone attacks you or your family and the only option you have is to defend yourself then it's the same story. I believe that striving for such ideals would be enough, even if they are not possible 100% of the time.


Alex

[weetabix]

I don't know why I wake up someday with so many negative thought.... But one thing is for sure, when I don't focus on them I feel so much more happy ! Even bad thing look like not so bad in a positive mood.

[Ybom]

Wow, I just sort of talked with someone about this yesterday, saying I focus on the hatred and not just the love.

I think the true measure of this is how to handle situations like this. I think this probably can be solved in one way without anyone getting hurt but her. Let your higher self guide you to stay 2 steps ahead of her, since even though deceit preys on honesty, it's also extremely affected by humiliation/embarassment. This isn't a do what you gotta do; get them fired asap. This is a do something to prove you're not on their level, and that doing what it takes means outsmarting it.

The higher path doesn't mean live in a bubble. If it did, then the higher person must have asthma or something. Wait, wasn't that a made-for-TV movie?

[Frank]

Cristaphin:

Negativity is not something that happens to you. You are stepping into victim consciousness and rendering yourself open to the other person as the perpetrator, therefore, lending energy to the construct. So the "negativity" as you call it, is something you are creating.

As a general rule, a person creates in their future what they concentrate upon in the Now.

Our physical reality did not come about by chance. This reality is formed from a blueprint that is located within focus 2 of consciousness. This blueprint holds the core concepts that are the source of all the myriad of social structures that are present in our physical world.

One core concept that we hold is that of Social Justice. Stemming from that core concept is the primary belief construct of victim/perpetrator. Our whole sense of "social justice" is, therefore, built upon this construct, which penetrates every area of our physical existence. Because this primary construct is sitting at the very heart of virtually everyone's inner belief structures, virtually everyone holds an alignment with expressions such as good and bad, right and wrong, victim and perpetrator, and so forth.

In viewing yourself as victim, you are aligning with the other person as perpetrator. As such, you are both motivating yourselves in your respective movements in consciousness, in what might be termed different directions, but both in cooperation with each other. In other words, when looked at against the wider reality, what you are engaged in is a choice for your experience.

This is why I always say that being "spiritual" has nothing whatever to do with giving all your money to charity and spending the rest of your life in some dreamy reverie about all is good and light. Quite the opposite I would say. Spirituality is about recognising yourself for who you are, in a wider sense.

Spirituality is about going beyond previous belief constraints and seeing reality for what it is, rather than what you believe it to be. Once you do that you are naturally able to see other people for what and who they are too, rather than what you "judge" them to be.

Yours,
Frank

[VesAn]

Just do your best at your job, and don't even worry and pay attention to her.  So long as you give her nothing real to gossip about, you should be all right.

[cristaphin]

Thank you for hashing it back and forth with me.

I've been trying to assign some sort of Universal lesson to all of this.

It's an opportunity for growth.. yadda. (of course it is, all of life is an oportunity for growth)

Maybe somtimes it's just something reeaallllllyy annoying that happens.

After this little helpful reality check. (And being able to see what my experience from my point of view has been from my writng of it..)

I think i'm going to mix. Even though it's not encouraged, I'm going to my manager, and let her know my perspective and ask her what she thinks. Then, if that is the blocking move that I hope it will be, just forge on, being a little more friendly, a little less defensive, but let her know that I'm not particularly comfortable talking to her about anything that doesn't apply to work.

If she pushes why, straight up. I don't understand what she was hoping to accomplish with the race thing, but all that really happened was it made me distrust her personally. Although I don't harbor very hard feelings because everyone does incredibly dumb things at one time or another.

A special nod to Frank who reminded me that even though I try to think from a higher ideal, that I still have my ego to deal with and that little devil is slippery. .   It's up to me to keep me in line.