Spiritual with a mate

[Legend]

For those of you who have or have tried to have a romantic/mate type of relationship with another person while remaining spiritual (and growing in conscience), I'd like to know how the relationship turned out.

If your mate is also spiritual, it seems logical that both move along a smooth path, but I'm more curious about the case where you are spiritual while the other person isn't really.  I'm really not the type to enforce beliefs upon others, which I know can be a big issue and I also happen to know that many great people who moved along this path eventually found themselves single (but definitely not alone).  "Spiritual" here is meant in a broad sense.  It can imply anything from Wicca practices, spell casting to OBE attempts, ....

[Rastus]

Since she awoke also it's been, indescribable.  We are soulmates, so that implies a lot.  This has definately been a year like no other.  That doesn't mean there aren't bumps.  Awake doesn't mean enlightened, but we are walking the paths together.  Smooth paths???  Whatever gave you that idea?  Who walks a smooth path?  Isn't that an oxymororn  

I hardest thing I did was 'coming out of my metaphysical closet', and it was also the best thing I ever did!

[Chimerae]

Our culture incorrectly casts intimacy as this warm cuddly soft place.  I don't know, maybe it's a throwback to the womb and infancy.    

The truth as far as I can see, is that real intimacy is thermonuclear -- and not for the faint of heart.  

The deeper into intimacy, the greater the very real exposure and vulnerability.  Trying to "protect" the union and the intimacy with care decreases authenticity -- which decreases the level of risk but also decreases the intimacy.

My experience is that relationships with deep spiritual practice bring up all the garbage I'm still carrying.  Except -- I've worked my butt for years, so the garbage it brings up is the stuff that I didn't even know it was there.  And then, SURE it's "not mine" with it coming up when I'm so close to someone it sure as hell looks like their stuff.

Real intimacy seems to me to be thermonuclear.  If you get in deep and with good spiritual presence and continued work then there's a ready fire to burn up the chaff.  But it's a tricky balance and for most of us it seems to be fission instead of fusion reactions.  BOOM!

I love knowing that people like Rastus and his wife exist.  To me they seem like the rare and special "paired stars" in astronomy.  

I have seen that some kinds of spiritual PRACTICE can make relatioships within a developing spiritual context work beautifully, but that's always seems to me to be because that particular practice takes mutal precidence in the partners lives and dictates when and how intimacy will be descalated to maintain balance.

"only heros will laugh only sages will smile"

[Chimerae]

Presbyterian minister -- relationship melted down and he left the   church but inheirited enough money to travel around the country doing whatever he can where ever he can.  Sort of a mystic with makita power tools ready to work on whatever materially needs fixing.  We're still close friends.  I came back to life and left the mainstream work world as a result of this relationship.  

Shaman trained under Rolling Thunder - Died in a motorcycle accident.  I became more intense and authentic in my spirtuality.  

Current - - LOTS of incredibly hard work.  Moments of transcendence.  Nearly infinite and mostly inexplicable "material world" challenge.  We have agreed that we need to split up, simply because we can't sustain the material world challenges but the love, trust, and committment is still there.  We gave it a year to disengage, keeping an open mind that by letting go over the next year it might sort itself out.

[Logic]

So far, its worked out well for me.. but were just kids  
We're really open spiritually with eachother, which I think is somewhat rare. Soulmates? I'd think so.

[Jo'ogn]

Hm, I thought I was spiritual and she was not that much, but now over one year after she "split off" - and I strill try to keep "correspondence" - I seem to understand how fear corrupts the choices we make in the moment.

One day feeling "aware", or "understanding" is certainly NO absolute, for tommorrow I can choose to make another "stupid" move, like before - that's what we call "total freedom".

Yes, almost a paradox, perhaps even an oxymoron

However that does not cut the spiritual connection, the Love I feel towards my "twin star", we seem to act in a kind of "Counterpart". It still "chills" me when I manage to get an email from her, learning that she still walks similar pathes as I do...

It's just my beliefs of "separation" that keeps up the limiting borders of my aware conciousness. Nothing is absolute...

[Naiad780]

My first long-term relationship was with a guy who had a vague interest in metaphysics, but thought spirituality was a bunch of hippie hogwash.  I always felt uncomfortable, like sharing that side of myself was something to be embarrassed about because he'd make fun of me.  He meant to be good-natured but at the time I was very sensitive and anxious, so I just ended up feeling bad.  My progress was definitely hindered because if I worked on it at all, I did so furtively.  That relationship ended after 7 years when I met the guy described below and realized that I did better with someone like him.

This time around, I have a wonderful man who is just as interested in spirituality and metaphysics as I am.  He never complains when I take time to meditate or practice, and sometimes he joins me if I don't need to be alone.  We talk about our progress, observations, techniques, etc.  He inspires me to keep reaching, and often has insights and wisdom that I benefit from.  Needless to say, my progress is going in leaps and bounds.

I think it can work out if both partners don't share interest in spirituality, but the partner who isn't interested needs to support the other person and let them have private time to work on it--they need to acept how important it is to their loved one.  Two of my friends are in a situation like that and it works out because the guy says, "well, my wife is more into that spirituality thing, so she goes to her spirituality group on Wednesdays and I take the kids to the park" sort of thing, and she doesn't try to force him to take part.