Sex with a spirit guideI was a teenager when I first met him, my spirit guide.
He was in his late twenties, so far too
old for me at the time.
At first I didn't know what or who he was.
But he was just there, it felt comfortable.
And soon I started talking to him, he didn't really answered me,
but I felt that I could trust him.
A few years later I noticed that I could talk to him and that he answered me.
We've had lots and lots of interesting conversations.
Mainly about things that kept me busy when I was younger.
He was my therapist and friend at the same time.
We never talked about sex actually, yes we did, but more in general.
We didn't talk about my sex life nor about his.
That was absolutely not done, I thought,
spirit guides are higher beings, they don't have a physical body,
so how could they ever have sex?
I didn't even think about such things.
I was shy, timid, prudish, scared, traumatized, when it was about sex.
A few years ago I learned to channel my spirit guide.
He talked and I wrote down what he said.
Our conversations got more intense.
We didn't skip any issue that was important in my life.
When I wrote about myself in my journal I didn't mind to talk about sex,
about my boyfriends and sexual experiences.
But I just couldn't talk about this with my spirit guide.
He started nagging me:
don't play so foolish, if you explore all the depths of your soul,
you also have to explore the sexual depths of your soul.
Get rid of this narrow minded stupidity, write down all the things you want to write about,
don't skip anything, name it, say it , do it.
And not to please me, but finally to open up, totally.He was right, I was skipping certain subjects, I was hiding things from him,
because I thought that our bond had to be purely spiritual.
That the things we talked about had to have some sense and some profound meaning.
But that's how I also limited myself and kept on avoiding certain issues that were still hidden somewhere.
I decided to listen to what my spirit guide said: no more taboos, no more boundaries or restraints.
I should write down exactly what I felt and how I felt, what I wanted and what needed to change in my life.
It was a cascade of words that never seemed to stop.
But it was something good and it felt good, I started to feeling free,
more open, more communicative, more honest in daily life.
And also my sex life got more spicy because I dared to show my real self and my real passions
for the first time in my life.
About two years ago I was writing in my journal, my spirit guide came by and he said: write about us.
So I just started writing.
But it turned out to be quite an erotic story.
I stopped writing and didn't want to think about it.
Because this wasn't the way it should be.
It reminded me somehow of my teenage crushes, making up the most fantastic stories
about the guy I could never have.
So how stupid it would be to fall in love with a spirit guide?
But a few nights later I dreamt this dream.
I met my spirit guide and we made love.
Well, it wasn't just making love.
It was one of the most intense erotic dreams I've ever had.
And it was a spiritual encounter at the same time.
It was beautiful and I enjoyed it,
but soon after I was awake I started pondering again: how sane is this?
What if we do this more often and what if I fall in love?
And what does he actually feel, does he really participate, or is it only my imagination?
I've had more dreams like this, most of them where normal dreams, some of them were lucid.
And I noticed that the relationship I had with my spirit guide until now, started to change.
I felt him closer, his energy was softer, it really felt like someone loved me and wanted me.
Our conversations changed and became more personal, they touched my heart directly.
Before I had these dreams he was like a friend, like my older brother,
but now he was also my lover.
We were communicating more at the same level, like I wasn't guided anymore,
but like we were working together on the same project, with the same ideas, with this huge energy drive.
When I was writing in my journal, he was always there, he always had something to say.
We were still working on the same issues, but the intensity increased,
and sex, sexuality and love were also things we talked about.
And while I was writing, I could feel him, a soft loving energy around me.
Sometimes it was like he tried to seduce me while I was writing.
Sometimes he said: let's go to bed and dream with me.
But I didn't have to dream about him anymore to make love to him,
it could be anywhere, anytime.
As long as my mind was set upon him or his mind was set upon me.
And although I enjoyed these experiences, I still didn't feel comfortable.
So I said to myself: I feel attracted to him, it's okay I fantasize about him,
but it's NOT real.
But this didn't work, he still was around, in my dreams and in my writings,
and I wasn't sure if I wanted this.
I asked a friend carefully, who also has an intensive bond with her spirit guide,
about her feelings for her spirit guide.
She always had a lot to tell about him, how sweet he was, how cute he was,
how much she learned from him.
And she did admit that she was for a while "sort of in love" with him.
I thought, fine, I'm not the only one.
But I didn't dare to ask her if she also had sex with him, because sex isn't something she easily talks about.
And to be honest, I still don't know what to think about having sex with someone invisible.
Someone who's made of energy, but doesn't have a physical body.
Someone I can never meet for real.
I've read about astral projection on this forum, but that's not a technique I use.
I've read about out-of-body-experiences and lucid dreams where such things might happen.
But I'm most of all fully awake but relaxed when I feel him around me,
when he starts talking to me or when he's getting romantic.
He actually behaves like a normal boyfriend would behave.
He doesn't want to have sex all the time, and his vision on sex is far more spiritual,
it's not just about getting laid.
It's also about feeling each other's energy, getting closer to one another,
reading each other's mind.
It's also about freeing myself from sexual inhibitions, from fears, from things that block me emotionally.
It's a full package of love, therapy, spiritual insights and sexual healing.
And believe me, it means a lot, it gives me a lot, but it also makes me nervous.
Because how far can this go, how healthy is this, how much I'm still in control?
No matter how sweet, lovable and patient my spirit guide is.
And that's why I want to share some of my experiences on this forum,
just to let of steam and perhaps to learn from the experiences and insights from others.
Because that's exactly what I need right now.
Thanks for reading
