Women and Power

[Rastus]

My opinion is based on physical sexual drive, at a base level.  Herd mentalitly so to speak, at the animal level.

Women are attracted to strong men because they can provide.  They can sire strong children and provide for them, thus ensuring the survival of the species.  Strong women are a threat, they will take the strong male away from the weak feamales.

Weak men admire strong men.  They want to be just like them, and ultimately replace them to have the females.  Weak men fear strong women, because they can not have them, and in fact will be dominated by them, doing what they are told to do, not what they wish to do like strong men.


So is this really true?  No, but at an instinctual level, the herd mentality it can be.

[Reality]

Although haven't studied this very thoroughly, I'd say it might partly be in the social programming.

By the way what is your definition of powerful women? A manupulative beep or a knowledgeable ma'm who isn't driven by her ego. In case of the former I'm not impressed at all, but I do and certainly appreciate the latter.

Just my first few thoughts on the subject, let it roll.

[Reality]

quote:Originally posted by runlola




I can't even have a scary avatar becasue
it's not ladylike!!!! [xx(]

Oh really, who told you that? Put freddy kruger in it or something, I don't care.

By the way your previous avatar, was 'kind' of scary, with the weird transformation and aaall... []

[Lighthouse]

What I'm talking about is the power of becoming more authentic (At least I think that's where it comes from.) As I stated, people who I've never met are starting to FEEL me.  This is a result of my releasing my limitations.  As I release my limitations, I break off pieces of my mental and psychological armor.  As I break off pieces of my armor, my being expands.  Because my being is expanding, I am harnessing more of the power of the universe.  I'm not so busy holding on to the armor and experiences are happening more rapidly... My light is shining through more brilliantly.  REcently I've had the experience where I'll have a thought and soon afterward, I'll have the experience that this thought created... it's a bit esoteric so I hope you understand.  

Anyway, this is part of the power thing... harnessing the power of the Universe... many men love it but some are threatened by it... btw, many women are too.

Kerri

[Kazbadan]

Dear Runlola, i guess you were speaking about me. I must say something about that (related with the Avatar): i was justbeing playful with you. When i said that i was teasing you.

I dont know how, we started, in that occasion, an "exchange" of posts, like attacks and counter-attacks but in a funny way. I went into the game (maybe i started it out[]) but only with intention of teasing you, play with you, without any bad intention (only pretended to be nice and funny because i think that´s important in life).

So, everytime you had a new Avatar, i would always "kick" you, just like a little kid. Sorry if i offended you.

I think that many time women makes confusion with being independent and strong, and with being agressive.

Why do mans dont like strong women? I think that in part, that occurs because men are afraid that if their own girlfriend becomes a powerful women, she can do anything, including leaving him and "jump" (without any reason) to the arms of another man. Powerful women, sometimes are seen as being very sexual, consequently, they are seen like not being very fidel to their husbands ("cheating" them). This is one reason i suppose.

The other one: many times, womens (how the hell do you write the pulral of woman? women?...womens?womans?....Jesus my english![:I]) that are powerful and try to defend the female cause (with female "movements" and actions) do that by kicking on men. Let me explain: in this world it is obvious that wpmen dont have so much oportunitys as men and they have bad treatments in many countrys (Afeganistan,Nigeria(?),etc).

So, i agree that women and men fight for their(women) freedom. I just dont agree the way that some women use do to it: they try to see the cause of that problem in all(or at least, the most) the men the world.

I know girls that think that men are weak, that think that men are stupid,etc,etc and they dont like men (some are lesbian) in any way, and they dont deal very well with men in general. They are not nice with men just because they see the cause of the problem in every man in the world. In a general way this kind of women it is powerful....so, maybe this is another reason for men to do not like powerful women: they think that every powerful women are like that (wrong in my opinion).

More reasons: weak man dont like powerful women becaus ethey know that they will never have any chance (in a sexual/dating way)with them. So, they see then are dangerous. I think that in part i understand that. Myself experimented, in other occasions (when i was really weak) the sensation of humiliation or being completed ignored by powerful womens. Sometimes they would say bad things about me just because of my stupid body or just because i was shy.

They said that because they had power and they think that could do anything with that power, even humiliate (is that how you spell/write that word?...my dictionary it is not near me now) people (man or women).

Now i see things in a different way: that kinf of women thinks that they are powerful! What a such lie! A powerful women it is one that shows self control and power, but that respects people. So, this exludes the women above and the radical females (the ones that think that men are s***).

I hope that until this moment you are not thinking "Jesus, this guy really dislike powerful women!". No, no, i was just saying bad things about powerful women that dont have any respect. In fact i love powerful women.

They are very playful and always have nice ideas and nice things to do. They are the kind of people that loves being at home watching 10 ours of TV in a row.

Powerful women (i am sepaking about the ones that show respect) are even the best for sexual/sensual teasing and play. They dominate body language, they have nice conversations, they know how to flirt and how to drive men into insane levels of desire and passion.

I think that i am getting in love with a really really nice and incredible powerful women.

Another problem with powerful women is that they are seen are not being lovely and sweet. Sometimes that can be true. The girl i speak on above, she is sweet but it will not show that sweetness for free. It is hard to make her show her sweet side.

Other problem: strong women are, many times, incompreensible to people, while in the work. This can happen for two reasons i think: they are so powerful that they forget that not evry people are like them. Not every people can hang out with so much work (not that they are lazy, just not so strong).

In the other hand, powerful women (similary like the typical "big boss", male) dont care about people in the work, only with results at any cost. Of course that this kind of behavior will only occur in powerful women that are really overinterested in their work.

Ok, i dont know why but i think that some people inthis forum will start to say bad things about me....[]

[Kazbadan]

Runlola, in general agressivity it is associeted to men, because they are more naturally agressive than women. Just that. They have more hormones and they have a different nature that makes men more agressive.

Of coarse that you can be an agressive women. But an agressive women it is not the same as a dare and strong women (maybe similar, but not the same).

Besides that, i was just playing with you. ALthought i must advise that there is some true in my words: men prefer sweet women (even if they are powerful) instead of agressive ones. It is in our nature. Sweetness and peaceful people its what everybody likes.

Any Avatar it is good to you[], in that time i was being playful, and if you changeit again i will say something just for bother you a little [][].


Wishing you the best:

-Kaz-

[Nay]

Hey Lighthouse, I know exactly what you mean!

I've come to the conclusion that I've been waaaay too many guys in past-lives..[]

Nay

[James S]

I'm of the opinion that many of the problems mentioned here have stemmed from "enforced" patriachal religions / societies.

I recently was reading with some interest, details of the customs and norms of my celtic ancestors. In the celtic communities, women were on completely equal footing to men, if not slightly more revered as they were the "life givers". The celtic women worked as the men did, and they fought alongside the men and were every bit as fierce in a fight. Yet they were also as compassionate, tender, nurturing and as attractive as women today are "expected" to be. It was only when the Roman Catholic church enforced its beliefs upon such communities that women were forced to bow to these changes, or be tried and killed as witches.

Runlola, any time some guy might accuse you of being "manly" if you're aggressive, just keep in mind there was nothing "manly" about celtic women who fought along side their partners. By the way, I kind of liked your old avatar. Where was it from?

It is believed that the Age of Aquarius brings with it the balancing of the female energy that was lost to the Age of Pisces that we are now coming to the end of. Any men that hold on to bigoted, chauvinistic ways are going to be in for a tough time, though I suspect the Church will continue do it's level best to keep its 2000 year tradition of subjugating women.

Lighthouse, I believe you are a good example of someone who is opening up to allow the Earth's increase in female energy to empower them. This is wonderful to see! I just hope that males come to realise that there is nothing at all to fear from this.

Kind regards,
James

[sahlyn]

As long as it's channeled constructively, power can only ever be a good thing.

Don't hold back, ladies[^]

[Lighthouse]

quote:Originally posted by Kazbadan

Runlola, in general agressivity it is associeted to men, because they are more naturally agressive than women. Just that. They have more hormones and they have a different nature that makes men more agressive.

Of coarse that you can be an agressive women. But an agressive women it is not the same as a dare and strong women (maybe similar, but not the same).

-Kaz-

I am not convinced that this is true.  When I was growing up, I was every bit as expressive as I am now... I had it stifled as a kid... particularly when it came to boys.

I just wanted to tell the world how I felt when I had a crush on someone (including the boy who happened to be the object of my desire at that particular moment) My father would always say to me, "Don't call boys, they don't like agressive girls.  You'll never have a boyfriend if you go around chasing boys... you need to let them come to you."   How frustrating and stifling for a girl who felt things very deeply to be told not to express her feelings!!!

So, I believe that the coy trait that some women have (not all) may be just social conditioning.  Similarly, I know many little boys now, the age of my kids whose fathers instill in them that playing with dolls and wanting to play dressup is bad and a "girly thing to do."  I believe that much of this has gone on with boys and girls through the ages.  As if there's something wrong with these things.  I buy trucks for my girls and they also love cars and dinosaurs... They also love to dress up and have tea parties.  I don't tell them that certain things are bad because boys like it.  

The message some of these kids have gotten and are still getting IMO is that Feminine = weak, Masculine = strong.  Weak = bad for boys, Strong = bad for girls.  Anything outside of this distorted paradigm is seen as threatening and unacceptable.  

Kaz,... woman is the singular, women is the plural.  It's the same as man is singular, men is plural.  Just put the "wo" in front of it. []

Lola,

quote:Kerri, it sounds to me like your heart chakra is on full blast.
keep it going girl!

It feels this way... I made a commitment to myself recently that I'm going to express myself in whatever way feels most natural and to my surprise, sometimes I've found that I'm spontaneously giving people kisses & hugs & other expressions of affection... without thinking about it, catching myself off guard... kind of like, "whoa, where'd that come from?"  It's like I've given my spirit permission to be who she really is (who is the real ME) and indeed allowing myself to LOVE freely.  So yes, I believe you are correct... it's bursting. []



James,

quote:
Lighthouse, I believe you are a good example of someone who is opening up to allow the Earth's increase in female energy to empower them. This is wonderful to see! I just hope that males come to realise that there is nothing at all to fear from this.

Thanks, I think it's great too... [] I hope more men can see this too because the more powerful women become, the more they accept themselves, the more fun it can be for both men and women. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who along with claiming her feminine power, is becoming much more passionate, loving, free and sexually expressive... How much fun for a male counterpart who is not threatened by this!!!! [:X]

Love,
Kerri

BTW Sahlyn, Love your seductress/vixen/Elvira whatever you want to call her.

[Jenia_San]

Well,I don't know about where you live,but here,I never saw those kind of things...
Here,it is an eternal war.
Women fight women,doesn't matter weak or strong.
men fight men,doesn't matter weak or strong.
and men fight womem. women fight men.
all I see in my life i9s fight here,fight there...
all fight fight...
this results in practically everyone being strong.
since the educational systrem is crashing,most of the people here are complete idiots,and some even think the world is flat (and quiet a lot,too)!
thus there is no such thing as "manly" or "girly".everyone wants power,and everyone wants to express it...agressivly.
and the worst thing about it all-nobody gives a S***![]

[Rastus]

Had a thought meditating last night.

I wonder is any of it has to do with the western tradition of making everythng PINK for newborn girls?  Nice color to influence them to be all loving and caring, and non-agressive?

Newborn boys have blue, which isn't agressive, but is a much higher color vibrationaly.

[Jenadots]

Speaking as a strong woman, it has been my expereince that weak men are attracted to strong women - moths to the flame sort of thing.  However, since they hate their own weakness, they can't really deal with a strong woman.  

I was a smart little girl who was often told not to be "too smart" because boys don't like that.  In HS, I never showed anyone else my grades, but there were boys who used to want to date me for my homework.  By the time I was in college, I turned this nusiance into profit by charging them to write their research papers.  There was no internet then so I had a nice little business by senior year.  

It is now a few decades later and one of my former clients is now in graduate school.  He called me from California -- as if I would write his papers for him again!  I couldn't beleive it.

Anyway, ladies, I have learned not to hide my strengths but to find ways to use them in non-threatening ways.  

It is difficult to find that balance.  My former husband couldn't handle it when I became more successful in my career than he was in his.    

I think there are lots of men like that.  Its OK as long as you are in a safe, feminine profession.  But start getting promoted or making more money than they do and it becomes an "issue" they can't handle.

I have learned to say that is not my problem, it is yours.  Either deal with it or not.  Fact is that sometimes you just have to be in touch with your "inner grump" to cope with people who either want to take advantage of your strength or destroy it.  

I think the mistake many people - male and female - make is to assume that just because someone is strong in some way, that they can't be broken and can handle anything.  Not so.  We just appear to.

So, just be what you are.  Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses.  Strength has nothing to do with aggressiveness.  I have known some people who were dumb as bricks but aggressive as can be.  Agressiveness can be used to hide a fear of weakness.

I am very happy to see that most of the younger girls have not been told to hide their talents and abilities and feel much freer in expressing themselves.  The teenage girls I know have found that balance between being assertive and being a "nice, little lady" who just smiles and giggles on demand.  

Weak women end up being doormats and no one truly respects that.

[Kazbadan]

Speaking about weak and strong people, i must say that in my opinion, this good emphasy (that we are giving here in the forum) to strong people, can have a drawback.

We are saying that strong people deserve our attention, that they are important,etc,etc (and that are true things in part) but we must be aware that while saying that we are taking down weak people.

There are "weak" people that are weak because they are just lazy and dont care with anything, but there are also good people, good hearted that have no strenghts for many reasons. Thet are weak but not because they are lazy. Maybe thats difficult to understand but i think i can use an analogy (like every analogy we must be careful with mis interpretaions): if someone doesnt pratice a sport in their life, that does not mean that he his lazy, maybe that person have some kind of disease or physical problem stoping him from making sports or stoping him from being so good as others. This was a "physical" analogy.

Now we must apply it to their "mental" counterpart.

Maybe many people outhere it looks like weak because they have their mental problems (in contrast with the "physical problems of the analogy) that stops them from being more strong.

Besides that, not every people cannot be equal. If a weak person it is a good hearted person she is so important as any other strong person. In fact, every person, strong or weak should be considered as equal, and different (because they are unique).

So, i just wanted to say this because i think that in a strange way, defending strong people can "take down" good people that for many reasons are weak, but not lazy.

[Rastus]

Don't assume that people are either "Weak" or "Strong".  I think the majority are in the middle.  We are talking extremes here, not the average or norm.

[Kazbadan]

Lol! yes your right. Sometime i theorize so much that i forget reality[].

[Phong]

I don't know what "strong person" means.

Apart from the multitude of raw physical strengths (bone strength, muscular strength, joint strength, etc.) and the semi-raw mental strengths (memory, concentration) there are strengths of character, with which we ascribe a certain nobility. These are but not limited to emotional stability, confidence, and willpower. But these are all strengths of resistance (against bludgeoning, distractions, opposition, etc.) such that you're not defeated by conflict.

Someone who is strong in only these areas would appear to not change very much.

Then there are unique personal strengths (talents) which are nigh impossible to accumulate. People seem to just have them sometimes, whether it's because of genetics, upbringing, or divine will. These include but are not limited to strength in mathematics, sports, science, leadership, street savvy, creativity, perceptiveness, intuition, and wit. These are strengths of inclination (towards roles and accomplishments) away from arid and lifeless boredom.

Someone who is strong in one or more of these areas is guaranteed employment and not much else. Someone who is strong in all of these areas would probably feel very lonely.

What does it truly mean to be a "strong person," then, who is both strong in resistance and in inclination? This is the strength of growth, resisting torment but inclined to ascend.

Sadly, it appears that the colloquial use of "strong person" and "strong woman" only refers to strength of resistance, for if we wanted to say someone was talented, we would simply just say they were a "strong mathematician" or likewise. What does "powerful woman" mean? That she gets what she wants? Sure, in the face of opposition, but it says nothing of what she wants, and therefore little about who she is.

Hopefully, as Kaz & Rastus say, we'll one day stop referring to individuals as strong or weak and instead refer to talents, relationships, and organizations. Material is either strong or weak. Spirit is boldy something else.

[Edited for syntax]

[Lighthouse]

Phong,

I'm not talking brawn or brains here.  I guess I'm talking about confidence in ones self and the power to make things happen.  I'm also talking about the ability to set an intention and over and over again, see that intentionality become a physical reality, therby controlling the universe through my thoughts... which I do and am doing more and more frequently.  

I'm the type of person who will spill out a thousand thoughts about something and people will be like, "Where the hell did she come from?" and because I have very focused views, they feel threatened because I BELIEVE in myself... This is the ULTIMATE POWER... and this is what it means to be a Powerful person...  To believe in Ones Self and therefore believe in your own personal power.  This confidence comes across and people feel threatened... sometimes.

Kerri

[Seven]

Lighthouse,

quote:
As I release my limitations, I break off pieces of my mental and psychological armor. As I break off pieces of my armor, my being expands. Because my being is expanding, I am harnessing more of the power of the universe. I'm not so busy holding on to the armor and experiences are happening more rapidly... My light is shining through more brilliantly.

Exactly.  Through being an observer of yourself, this is the process by which your mental & psychological armour is broken off and realeased, thereby allowing your true self to take its place.

quote:
I'm not talking brawn or brains here. I guess I'm talking about confidence in ones self and the power to make things happen. I'm also talking about the ability to set an intention and over and over again, see that intentionality become a physical reality, therby controlling the universe through my thoughts... which I do and am doing more and more frequently.

I see exactly what you mean.  I am just starting my development but have already tasted this power to an extent.  It was not what I expected and perhaps I was not fully prepared for it, but I understand what you mean.

Congratulations! []

[kiauma]

quote:I'm the type of person who will spill out a thousand thoughts about something and people will be like, "Where the hell did she come from?" and because I have very focused views, they feel threatened because I BELIEVE in myself... This is the ULTIMATE POWER... and this is what it means to be a Powerful person... To believe in Ones Self and therefore believe in your own personal power. This confidence comes across and people feel threatened... sometimes.

I think this sums it up very well, not as a problem of gender, but of personal power.

Many people feel that control is a true power.  It is not.  While the ability to cause change is a manifestation of power, many people mistake force, especially over other people, as true power, when actually true power is power over oneself.

Not knowing that only power over oneself is true power, they then become threatened at any display of personal power by others.   These people are not to be blamed though, because they are unconscious, acting out reactive scripts under completely mistaken assumptions.  It is all 'ego' feeling threatened and lashing out, ultimately trying to hold together it's sense of identity, tied up as it is in a sense of being right and in control.

The ego is very cunning and vicious.  It cares nothing for others, their feelings or the greater good.  It is very good at searching for weakness or negativity with which to reinforce it's feelings of self-rightousness.  It feels threatened and even hurt at any show of confidence it cannot dissuade, and even every difference of opinion.  It's struggle to maintian it's illusions can be very subtle, or very feirce, but the agenda behind it's actions is invariably the same, as are it's actions:  To dissuade.  To lash out if necessary.  To control.

So, I do not think it is about 'women and power' or even 'men and power' at all.  I think it is simply the particular card played by a desperate ego.  It could have been anything; your looks, your age, your political/national/racial affiliation - but it is often convenient to choose a far more general and controversial non-issue.

Unfortunately, this is far too common.

[kiauma]

Conversational terrorism...
http://www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html

[Anonymous]

Dear Lighthouse

You say:

I am also aware that sometimes I come across a bit strongly... this I can not help and will not change because I am merely expressing who I am.

I say:

The web cannot convey much of the truth with only words to offer. There are many people 'threatened' by someone expressing any truth - and we all do need to SHARE.

[Kazbadan]

quote:Originally posted by kiauma

Conversational terrorism...
http://www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html

LOOOOL! Very funny stuff there! Learn this techniques and you will become a real bastard (off topic:is bastard an ugly word in english?)!

[kiauma]

Many people already employ these techniques unconsciously.

I was referring to:

quote:WISHFUL THINKING:
Instead of proving a point true or false, this technique tries to imply that the individual's desires have led him/her astray without dealing with the merits of the issue itself. (C.S. Lewis termed this "Bulverism".) Any strong desire can be shown to have tainted a conclusion or clouded objectivity, which casts doubt on the legitimacy of a point. This is very close to the classic ad hominem fallacy: "you say that because you are a man."

And I would add, "... or woman."

*from; http://www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html

[Kazbadan]

Yeah, i love using fallacys, specially with women, when i am teasing her...i love that kind of games and they seem to love it too (like playing to the cat and the rat).