Im trying to hard.. what do you think about this?

[xxsicknessxx]

Alright because my profile got deleted I'm gone to post my first obe (like) Exp.. and my second which occurred last night.. what I want to know is whats up.. am I getting closer?

(its long and is a diary kinda format)
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Last night, laying in bed.. TV on.. fan on.. and I had just woke up I wasn't too tired but after laying in bed for awhile I finally got it.. I felt tiredness.. and I felt the humming.. to say I seeked the humming is a lie.. it just game to me.. It was like a million birds in my head this flapping, buzzing.. I tried to think of it.. (this happened several times) I tried thinking of a dot, of walking down stairs, of a room in my house, of a friend.. I thought of buzzing a few times it got really really strong.. my legs cramped sorta, and my arms felt weird and I tried to separate but I could't a few times I felt like I got close like almost... I think maybe I should of had TV off (no sound was on) and my fan off, its a bit loud... I cant explain the feelings.. it was weird id think I almost got out but I don't know if I did.. also I remember asking for help.. omg I just remembered a dream.. my dad got mad at me for using the bathroom and kicked me.. then kept coming to my room he was sorta helping me try to leave my body*sounds weird* that's what happened.. I ended up getting stuck into dreams.. And I think I might of tried to leave from my dream (is that possible) problem was I kept realizing I was in a dream.. but I would then "wake up" into another dream.. in one dream I turned off all the lights in my room, and the fan, and went back to bed.... same as last night I have control but then a lack of control I know I'm dreaming.. but its like I'm weak... I tried to bring a girl I know into focus (not for that) Just to see if I could.. and I got her a little bit but then she fuzzed out.. I had less control tonight then I did last night but I caught on to when I was dreaming more often this time.. this is awesome.. so what's going on any ideas? how come I cant keep complete power in my dream I want to do what I want.. not get stuck into a loop of fake wake ups...

All I can say is I liked the feeling of the buzzing.. it felt good...
I think for some reason when I tried to move in my lucid dream and even when trying get away from my body I would move my real body and wake my self up.. any ideas?
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may 30
Very tired.. kept telling my self you will know your dreaming, you will start to have a dream you will be on the beach with a girl drinking margaritas and think am I dreaming.. well I heard this girl all of the sudden and with it buzzing again.. same as before.. I was sooo excited...  I kept think of the buzzing but I suddenly music started playing and I mean real music (none was on) It was weird... I couldn't get it out of my ears.. my right hand kinda Locked into the symbol 2.. like it tightened... and I didn't know how to get past it.. So I remembered breathing.. so I tried to think of my breathing.. and then the music faded, and buzzing got really loud, I could feel it all over my body.. but breathing got in the way like I was doing it so fast it would bring me back to my body.. I saw though my eye lids, but when I did I saw everything in my room but I saw a few objects differently then they really are.. and here is where I get fuzzy I got trapped into a dream.. once again I knew I was in a dream there were people talking to me.. but all I could think of was how to wake up so I wouldn't forget what happened.. so I tried breaking mirrors over my head, which didn't work. finally I woke up.. I guess Thats good... this all happened in about 20 min time I want to say.. OK .. my god.. its been so long all of the sudden it happens.. any thoughts?

Afterwords I got kinda scared.. and I had some of the worst nightmares I have ever had in my life afterwords.. because the nightmares were so realalistic.. this one being about a spider alien that man freaked me out I cant even tell you.... anyways

Should also note.. the first Exp I woke up with a headache from a few to Manny drinks night before woke up super early.. and last night I had taken a codeine for some pain and made me wake up ( I know that's where night meres came in ) But I was very very tired.. I think that's the key to me having these exp is being really tired but being awaken to early..

any ideas, or hints on how to get out of my body.. last night I could kinda feel my self separate and at one point it was hard to keep my eyes clothes because I wasn't even sure if they were open because I could see though them and how come I saw everything perfect but some things were out of place? example my brief case had files in it and was in wrong place..

[CaCoDeMoN]

Hi!
You were very close to OOBE. I think that with some energy work you will be able to project easily. I've recently asked Robert Bruce what chakras are most important for OOBE, and he said that throat chakra and heart chakra. Maybe stimulating these chakras will bring good results?

[xxsicknessxx]

Hi!
You were very close to OOBE. I think that with some energy work you will be able to project easily. I've recently asked Robert Bruce what chakras are most important for OOBE, and he said that throat chakra and heart chakra. Maybe stimulating these chakras will bring good results?

How do I do that? I mean im willing to do what it takes but i need info on what to do.. I soo want to do this.. I was giddy during it.. I mean Im sorta freakd out but when I felt the virbrations I felt peacefull.. hard explain..

[Kris]

crystals...

[xxsicknessxx]

crystals...

what kind? crystal meth? haha well come on explain this!

[chupacabra]

When meditating or practicing relaxation, watch your breath, but imagine yourself breathing in and out of your heart chakra, or whatever chakra you want to energize.

[xxsicknessxx]

hmm I dont know how to breethe *cry* Ive read so much on this but everyone seems to have a differnt idea on how to do things, its so confusing.. arrr I want out sooo bad!

[chupacabra]

you're thinking too hard about it. While you're breathing normally, focus your attention on whichever chakra you want to energize and imagine feeling your breath moving in and out of that chakra.

i think it's the focusing of attention that does it, the breathing being a constant on which to sort of anchor one's focus.

don't get hung up on technique, just put in the practice/meditation time.

[xxsicknessxx]

maybe I need more info how to you focus on somthing you can't see? such as a charkra?

Also how come drugs seem to be the only time I get out? or near out? Mind you as a kid I got out too but back then I didn't know what it was...

I wake up .. very tired.. that seems be my key... maybe I should wake my self up early and try?

[chupacabra]

the heart chakra is in your sternum area, so focus attention there, sort of inside your body. if you wanted to energize your 3rd eye you would focus awareness at your brow. If you're awaiting a shot in the arm, your awareness is flowing to that place on your arm or if someone said, focus awareness on your big toe on your left foot, you could do that, right? so do the same with the chakras.  if you need a visualization, imagine the chakra as a ball of light or a little tiny spinning galaxy or something. again, it doesn't matter what, as long as the energy of awareness is flowing to that particular spot.

[xxsicknessxx]

I woke up early last night and tried breeth excerise (sorta) and I got the buzzing feeling for half a secound then lost it.. I wasnt very tired was the problem...  so am I getting better at it? or worse? lol

[chupacabra]

the buzzing is way further than i usually get, so yeah, looks like you're doing something right. i don't try to AP much lately but do meditate (semi) regularly.

[xxsicknessxx]

I woke up at 5am last night, night before 3am... and while my bodys a bit rusty my mind is not tired at all.. what the hell can I do to get tired thats the only time im able to get the buzzing...

last night was hell I woke up at least 7 times.. I had 6 sepret dreams I have recorded.. but I dont remember much like a few senteces from each.. the best one was were at marine world and there this ride where your in these giant tubes with like 15 people (rapids) but with wales.. and the animals went insane.. the sharks started killing people and dolphins.. and the wales ate the tubes whole.. was awsome.. but how come im still to dumb to relaive thats not real?!