Dealing with a racist co-worker

[interception]

I have a dilemma. My co-worker is a hypocrite and a racist.
Normally he is a very pleasant person: friendly, funny, non-confrontational, dad of two little boys... a genuinely pleasant guy to have around.

And then on occasion, unfortunately, he would  open his mouth and make a comment or a joke with a racist taint to it against black people.

He is also a hypocrite, because he would never say anything remotely racist in the presence of a black person and deals with all our clients in the best possible way. We work in South Africa and the majority of our clients happens to have black skins.

This behavior to me is extremely negative, illogical and immature. I don't want to judge the man, BUT I also dont want to have to deal with this type of negativity every day.

I have told him that I find his slurs offensive on more than one occasion, and he would then keep it to himself. After a while he would just start with that crap again.

What do I do without affecting our business unit? If I make a big deal about this our work relationship is going to go south.

[Sunn]

i know a few people from south africa who adopt this superiority complex against different cultures..  really arrogant and disrespectful.

[interception]

*Sigh*... I knew I should have left out the South Africa part. Pretend I am from Australia. Or Alabama in the USA.

[AndrewTheSinger]

I have black friends that tell me jokes of black people. If they don't have a problem with that then why should I? They think it's funny, I don't know, as long as he doesn't disrespect people I think he's just trying to be fun.

[interception]

No, there is a line. It is about ones intent, ultimately. Trying to be funny with a derogatory racial overtone is simply negative to me, I dont care who may think it is funny.

It points to an emotional immaturity... an innability to logically process certain emotions. For example, a blue guy raped a purple girl. Will I now judge all blue guys based on that? No, off course not! Bloody hell man! Its illogical!

If you must judge, judge by the action of a person - not the bloody color of their shell.

End of rant...

[AndrewTheSinger]

Yup, I think it's strange too, but what if the blue guy is making jokes about the blue people? I certainly wouldn't be the one making jokes about blue people, but If I knew they liked it and didn't mind it I could even try.

As you said he treated everyone nicely, if the only problem is the content of his jokes then you can always choose not to laugh and respond.

[interception]

As you said he treated everyone nicely, if the only problem is the content of his jokes then you can always choose not to laugh and respond.

I don't laugh or respond to the jokes/comments. I try to ignore them for the sake of a pleasant work environment.

Ignoring a problem is a nonsolution though. The negative vibe of it affects me greatly... I can sense the hate behind the "humour".

You see, it is not "just jokes", its in his character. In his mindset. If it was just a joke or two it would not really have been a problem for me. Its a constant hammering on the same thing...

[BadCookie]

If he is just kiding with the boys and not saying ugly things to black people its ok 

[interception]

If he is just kiding with the boys and not saying ugly things to black people its ok 

So you are saying hypocrisy is OK?

[MisterJingo]

Hey interception,

I know where you are coming from. Does your work place have any form of procedures in place regarding racial comments or abuse?
I would have suggested the first step would be to take this person aside and speak to them; you have done this multiple times it seems to little effect.
What would be the consequences of taking this to a supervisor or line manager?
It's not pleasant working in an environment where racist comments are regularly made – even if they're made in jest and behind people's backs, the intent and content of those comments is offensive.
The UK used to see a lot of this, but thankfully, on the whole things have improved and such things in the work place can be dealt with.

[BadCookie]

So you are saying hypocrisy is OK?

I dont know i dont think iam racist, but sometimes i make black jokes  .

[interception]

Hey interception,
I know where you are coming from. Does your work place have any form of procedures in place regarding racial comments or abuse?

There are procedures yes, but I if I do go that route it is going to become very unpleasant. So much so that I will be forced to find alternative employment. He has a much more experience in what we do, than me. Its just me and him running the unit. So its likely he will stay, and I will go.
I dont want that either, if I can help it....not right now.

[The Present Moment]

Absolutely ignore him when he makes you uncomfortable. Don't speak to him, don't make eye contact; act like he isn't even in the room.

[Second*N*Line]

I have black friends that tell me jokes of black people. If they don't have a problem with that then why should I? They think it's funny, I don't know, as long as he doesn't disrespect people I think he's just trying to be fun.

I am a 21 year old black man. I take myself very seriously. I take my black people very SERIOUSLY. I resent any jokes or unwarranted ridicule on my people because it only creates a situation where people start to deny the reality of black people as a whole. For years black people have had to deal with stereotypes that tried to reduce them down to mere animals whose only purpose was to fulfill primitive desires(i.e. such as these disgraceful pictures and depictions of black people gorging themselves on fried chicken and watermelon.)

Now I don't know what kind of black folks your hanging around but to me it sounds like your black friends may not have sufficient knowledge of themselves. Any black man or woman who knows their TRUE history would not make jokes about themselves or their people.

I am a strong black man.
When I walk outside I want the respect that I deserve.
I don't want anybody making jokes about me because I am not a joke.
My black skin is not a joke.
My black ancestors were not a joke.
It was not a joke when they brought my people on slave ships to the Americas.

My reality is real and I am a human being that is capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions. I feel I should be treated with a certain level of respect like everyone else.

This is not a game right here.

[Second*N*Line]

If he is just kiding with the boys and not saying ugly things to black people its ok 

I am sure they were just kidding when they depicted the black man as an over sexed beast who was dangerous to society. I am sure they are just kidding when they depict my brothers and sisters in media as dumb animals who can't think for themselves. I think its a really funny joke don't you? Its so funny that I can barely contain myself from laughing whenever I think about it. 

People make put down the black man without even knowing that by doing so, they are denying his reality as a human being. You may think that these 'jokes' are not a big deal but it does a number on your subconscious. Without you even knowing, your perception of the black man gets skewed and you start to view black people as less human. I believe this is why so many people can turn a blind eye to my brothers and sisters who are out here suffering and struggling just to get by.

People think if they see a couple of shows on TV where black people are making fun of themselves then its ok to take this situation lightly. But guess what? Not all black people enjoy making fun of themselves. There is nothing funny about 'black' jokes. Why would I find it funny when it was used against my ancestors to dehumanize them? As a black man I have to pay respect to my black ancestors. I have to give them the respect that they never recieved.

I know my black ancestors don't want me to play games with my life and I also know god doesn't want me to play games either. And I am not going to sit here and play games with anybody else so please don't play games with me.

This situation is PAINFULLY serious.

[BadCookie]

I am sure they were just kidding when they depicted the black man as an over sexed beast who was dangerous to society. I am sure they are just kidding when they depict my brothers and sisters in media as dumb animals who can't think for themselves.

This situation is PAINFULLY serious.

I kinda agree with what they sed, not all but some, societiy has made them that way. Are you saying thats not ture many of these stupid crap gansters need to be put to sleep

Iam not racist, i just dont like crapy people they disgust me i know we are all one its that part of us that disgust me

[AndrewTheSinger]

I am a 21 year old black man. I take myself very seriously. I take my black people very SERIOUSLY. I resent any jokes or unwarranted ridicule on my people because it only creates a situation where people start to deny the reality of black people as a whole. For years black people have had to deal with stereotypes that tried to reduce them down to mere animals whose only purpose was to fulfill primitive desires(i.e. such as these disgraceful pictures and depictions of black people gorging themselves on fried chicken and watermelon.)

Now I don't know what kind of black folks your hanging around but to me it sounds like your black friends may not have sufficient knowledge of themselves. Any black man or woman who knows their TRUE history would not make jokes about themselves or their people.

I am a strong black man.
When I walk outside I want the respect that I deserve.
I don't want anybody making jokes about me because I am not a joke.
My black skin is not a joke.
My black ancestors were not a joke.
It was not a joke when they brought my people on slave ships to the Americas.

My reality is real and I am a human being that is capable of experiencing a wide range of emotions. I feel I should be treated with a certain level of respect like everyone else.

This is not a game right here.

Second*N*Line - I see, well, I live in Brazil, 50% of the population is black, the other 50% is a mixture of many races, I think we all get along well, but of course, there is racism over here too, though it's hard to see where it could be coming from, and it is thoroughly condemned (the person goes to jail no bail).

I'm descendand of Portuguese and Natives, the Natives suffered here as much as the Africans, maybe more, it was their land that was taken over, their women were raped, their people enslavered and slaughtered.

Had the Natives been able to rise again like your people did I'm sure they would be proud of it too, to feel good about having the blood from this land running in their veins, and watching their children grow with the hope of a future of dignity.

I'm not the most qualified person to talk about this situation because my country
is a big carnival, I pretty much don't understand racism and all this prejudice, but oh well, I don't understand many other things...

They make jokes about blacks, about blonds, about portuguese, japanese, turks, but they don't make jokes about native indians, it is relieving that some of the black people can laugh now, after all the suffering they have gone through, now they walk upon their feet and solely on their own merit, the indians can't laugh just yet.

[Second*N*Line]

I suggest all of you listen to the auidio message below to understand where i am coming from.
http://media.putfile.com/message-to-astral-pulse

I don't want you all to think that I am one of these people who refuses to believe that there aren't some things wrong in my community. I know that the black cummunity has its problems but I don't want people making jokes because that causes innocent black people to suffer. Some people hear a joke and laugh. They see it as funny. However I see the joke as a devaluation of the black race.

I once had somebody come up to me and call me 'homeboy'. I remember thinking "homeboy? wait a minute, thats not my name. Its not what my mom named me. Has he lost his mind?" I don't like it either when people call me that dreaful N word. And it doesn't matter who says it. I don't want to hear it from anyone, not even my own people. All that word does is just support the devaluation of my race. There are many other things that support this devaluation and they are very subtle.

[BadCookie]

I suggest all of you listen to the auidio message below to understand where i am coming from.
http://media.putfile.com/message-to-astral-pulse

I don't want you all to think that I am one of these people who refuses to believe that there aren't some things wrong in my community. I know that the black cummunity has its problems but I don't want people making jokes because that causes innocent black people to suffer. Some people hear a joke and laugh. They see it as funny. However I see the joke as a devaluation of the black race.

I once had somebody come up to me and call me 'homeboy'. I remember thinking "homeboy? wait a minute, thats not my name. Its not what my mom named me. Has he lost his mind?" I don't like it either when people call me that dreaful N word. And it doesn't matter who says it. I don't want to hear it from anyone, not even my own people. All that word does is just support the devaluation of my race. There are many other things that support this devaluation and they are very subtle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzW_BhN0jpU

LOL

[Second*N*Line]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzW_BhN0jpU

LOL

That video is a disgrace and the people in that video are even more disgraceful. They might as well have got some people to be in 'black face'. It reminds me of something that would be in a racist movie like Birth of a Nation.

Most of you here have aquired some level of spiritual understanding but I see there are some things on this earth that you don't even understand yet. No one will be able to explain this to you. Its something that you are going to have to find out for yourself.

[BadCookie]

Man i have respect for your post your the kinda black man i would like to meet. your not nation of islam right?

[interception]

Most of you here have aquired some level of spiritual understanding but I see there are some things on this earth that you don't even understand yet. No one will be able to explain this to you. Its something that you are going to have to find out for yourself.

Okay, this doesn't really have anything to do with HOW to deal with a racist in a civilized manner - if that is even possible.

Second*N*Line, I don't understand racism because it is illogical to me.

A big problem is people get overly emotional about it. I happen to have a white skin. I also live in South Africa. I am part of a racial minority here and believe me, the apartheid past is being rubbed into the faces of whites over and over and over again.

Yet, I bear no resentment. The only problem I have is this: Why should I pay for the sins of my grandfather? Socially and economically. I had absolutely nothing to do with apartheid, yet, still I do not respond emotionally.

I would go so far as to say that most of the human race still has some serious emotional maturity left to accomplish. And there I am judging again. *Sigh*

[Mydral]

There is also something called "reverse racism"...... please think about that for a while.

Because if you tell me that I am a racist just because I am white and call you a "black person" or refer to you as "the black guy" because I don't know your name I also get offended.

[interception]

There is also something called "reverse racism"...... please think about that for a while.
Because if you tell me that I am a racist just because I am white and call you a "black person" or refer to you as "the black guy" because I don't know your name I also get offended.

Why don't you ever see anybody refer to another human being by the color of their eyes?

"Hey, blue eyed guy! Yeah you! You want an ice-cream? I heard blue-eyed guys liked ice-cream."

Yes, there is also a cultural element. Which means that the racist generalize based on culture and in his/her ignorance uses the skin color as a rough guide.

[Sunn]

*Sigh*... I knew I should have left out the South Africa part. Pretend I am from Australia. Or Alabama in the USA.

i dont really understand why you are sighing.. never said all the people i knew from SA are like that.. just a few..  in fact one mate is very tolerable of anything.