Journal: Looking for the exit

[Zenit]

Time to bed: 22.50

Spend 10 minutes meditating before going to bed. Realized that i might have been focusing to hard on just triggering an OBE without actually triggering sleep paralyses (SP). Made last nights focus on just staying concious whle going to sleep. Did not succeed, here are my observations;

-I lose consciousness usually when my thoughts jump from one thing to another. Il be having a mental dialogue about something, then I will notice some subtle feeling somewhere on my body, and my thoughts will shift back to some random train of though, but my consciousness will be gone.

-Creating duality in my thoughts keeps me awake. I noticed usually i drift of to sleep while im thinking about something. But when i try to actively do this it keeps me awake. The sensation of "I need to think, and watch my thoughts", seems to me like i'm doing something active. The more i try to do something, the more I am kept awake. Passive observation is the ticket (i think). The way I usually get myself to fall asleep is my pretending im part of some story and playing it out. This removes duality because i'm simultaneously creating the story, but also part of it. This story model is desined to make me lose consciousness though. Need to find a way to drift off without "trying" to drift off. Trying creates duality.

I might try to set up an alarm clock in the middle of the night. I have a hard time falling a sleep as it is, maybe if im falling back into sleep it can be easier to stay conscious.

[Lionheart]

 I feel that we have all programmed ourselves that at a certain time everynight, we lay down, then go to sleep. If I were you, I would change your location to a comfortable chair while you attempt your Astral Travelling. Myself, I use my bed in the late afternoon for my first session. Then, late at night I use my reclining chair in my living room for my 2nd session.
Therefore I have programmed my mind accordingly. It makes it quite a bit easier for me. For 47 years I have programmed myself that being in bed at nighttime is time to turn off and go to sleep. I also use my chair at night time because my wife, whom I love dearly, snores really loud and squirms in bed like a fish out of water.

[Zenit]

I feel that we have all programmed ourselves that at a certain time everynight, we lay down, then go to sleep. If I were you, I would change your location to a comfortable chair while you attempt your Astral Travelling. Myself, I use my bed in the late afternoon for my first session. Then, late at night I use my reclining chair in my living room for my 2nd session.
Therefore I have programmed my mind accordingly. It makes it quite a bit easier for me. For 47 years I have programmed myself that being in bed at nighttime is time to turn off and go to sleep. I also use my chair at night time because my wife, whom I love dearly, snores really loud and squirms in bed like a fish out of water.

This makes a lot of sense. Im going to try to wake up very early, re-locate to another place (chair or sofa) and try to project from there.  I read that another member from the forum likes the "wake his consciousness" up by reading a bit after he wakes up. I dont know what i thin of this as I think consciousness always has a crisp feeling even when you are drowsy, if you can tap into it. Will experiment.

[Zenit]

This post should have been the first post, but after waking up today the first thing i did was woble over to the computer and start typing. Just want to get in the habit of recording right after I wake up.

A bit of intro. A few nights ago i had another episode of SP. After reading up about AP i tried a few times. Something i noticed was that a few days after my SP i had a very much easier time hitting some of what people describe as symptoms of pre AP. I would meditate, and images would become very lucid. My heart would pound so hard that it feel like i was having a heart attack. I think maybe im just at a "higher frequency" after I experience a SP. Im not sure what that really means though, because if I did i would just try to raise my frequency again.

Anyway, this thread will be my progression and experimentation into the Astral. I appreciate all feedback, encouragement, and scorn. If anyone can recomend a good guide i would appriciate it very much. Summerlands guide was very good, but a bit bare bones.

Ait, back to work

[Summerlander]

I feel that we have all programmed ourselves that at a certain time everynight, we lay down, then go to sleep. If I were you, I would change your location to a comfortable chair while you attempt your Astral Travelling. Myself, I use my bed in the late afternoon for my first session. Then, late at night I use my reclining chair in my living room for my 2nd session.
Therefore I have programmed my mind accordingly. It makes it quite a bit easier for me. For 47 years I have programmed myself that being in bed at nighttime is time to turn off and go to sleep. I also use my chair at night time because my wife, whom I love dearly, snores really loud and squirms in bed like a fish out of water.

Relocation...hmmm...good thinking.

My heart would pound so hard that it feel like i was having a heart attack. I think maybe im just at a "higher frequency" after I experience a SP. Im not sure what that really means though, because if I did i would just try to raise my frequency again.

Ahh...the palpitations. This is your body's adrenaline being pumped in a bid to revitalise you and snap you out of the state as though it is aware that the mind is still conscious. It is actually a mechanism which does its best to work against you. It happens sometimes. Why does it happen? Because it is connected to the amygdala. It relates to feelings of being excited or frightened. Once the epinephrine is running, it is very hard to control the heart rate and how you feel, even if you do your best to calm down.

[Zenit]

Ahh...the palpitations. This is your body's adrenaline being pumped in a bid to revitalise you and snap you out of the state as though it is aware that the mind is still conscious. It is actually a mechanism which does its best to work against you. It happens sometimes. Why does it happen? Because it is connected to the amygdala. It relates to feelings of being excited or frightened. Once the epinephrine is running, it is very hard to control the heart rate and how you feel, even if you do your best to calm down.

Man its like meeting girls. There's no reason to be nervous but your heart starts beating, and your hands start sweating. If im understanding this correctly i shouldn't worry about experiencing the heart palpitations. I was sorta worried that i coudelnt induce it anymore as someone mentioned it was a sign prior to separating. If its not i'll just generally disregard it.

[Summerlander]

You can disregard it alright...but it's very natural and common. You may still continue with the OOBE induction in this state but just know that it is actually working against ya. The heat-regulatory function of the hypothalamus is stimulated when this happens too and thus activating the sweat glands which is the body's way of cooling itself to maintain the balance. The sweat helps to reduce the temperature. Are you getting a picture? I have no doubt that this rings a bell with you because I know that you have experienced it. I have too! And your description is spot on...it's like meeting girls...it's ridiculous!

[Under_the_Midnight_Sun]

I've always considered the heart palpitations to be the "pumping" from the heart chakra-commonly felt while our consciousness is shifting over into our double. The "palpitations" are often accompanied by a high ringing pitch (which some consider to be a "changing over" of frequencies) and other astral noises manifested by ones own mind.
If you pay attention to the beating of the heart chakra you may find that they feel like pure energy pulsing. I've experienced the sensation, and immediately aborted the exit---to find my normal physical heart beating at normal speed. 

[Zenit]

5/7

Time to bed 23.00. Set my alarm clock for 05.00. Wanted to wake up then practice as I was falling asleep. No luck. If anything today felt like a step back. At first I couldn't get myself to fall asleep after waking up at 05.00. I decide to shift my position in bed from laying on my back to my side in an attempt to get more comfortable. My alarm clock sounds again at 07.00 and i realize i had missed the falling asleep process. As i continuously hit the snooze button my body kept drifting off to sleep within minutes, but i never had time to slip into SP cause my alarm would sound. At 08.00 i have to get up to et breakfast. Right now as I am typing this i feel like i interrupted myself in the middle of a sleep cycle... in other words i feel like sh*** haha.

I had more success with lucid visions, and trying to move a "spirit arm" yesterday during naps. I think i might be a bit over zealous when im falling asleep, almost trying to will myself to fall asleep. Im going to have to get used to letting things happen. Like I note last time, trying to fall asleep causes you to stay awake or it just generally prolongs the process. Did not try to relocate as Lionheart had suggested. Wanted to see if i could do it in my bed. Need some control experiences to compare the effectiveness of actually being vs not being in bed.

Conclusion: waking up at 05.00 is to early to do any real good.

[Lionheart]

 Zenit, why not project an hour or two before you go to bed? That would pretty well solve your having to wake at 5 am problem. Go sit in a comfortable chair and project before you go to bed.

[Zenit]

5/7 The after lunch nap.

The usual nap room where i lay down after lunch was occupied. I decided to take Lionhearts advice an try to do my thing while sitting in a chair. There were two things about today that didn't really make for optimal conditions. 1. I forgot my cell phone so I wouldn't be able to set the 20  minute alarm (my boss might wonder what the hell it is im doing with my lunch brakes) 2. The chair I was in was located in an abandoned corridor. The chances of people walking by was small but still present.

This is the way I approach trying to induce a OBE; After reading Robert Monroe's Journeys out of the body I was introduced to Phasing (although im still not 100% sure as how Phasing differs from other entrees), and indirect techniques. From what I gather indirect techniques work so that you first induced a state of sleep, become conscious of your sleep, then separate the consciousness from the body.

Because my accidental SP episodes have involved very lucid images, I know what to look for and I use this as a marker. As of now I can always notice when my brain starts producing them, but the act of realizing this makes them go away. Possibly  this is because im in a very shallow sleep, and maybe if I could somehow get a bit deeper they would be more stable.

Another technique that I use is they I try to move my hands without using muscles. The thing about this is that most of the time I cant tell if its my "spirit arm" or if its just my regular arm moving. Yesterday during a nap I had to look and it was indeed my physical arm. I find it a strange sensation because im merely willing my arm to move, not actually using my muscles to move it. I experienced something similar while doing moving meditation or Tai Chi.

Its almost like I can feel my conscious body, but I cant detach it from my physical body. When I visualize myself floating up I have almost had the sensation of.... Of water... or a air bubble separating from certain parts of my body, but the pull of my physical body makes it really heavy and attached.

I have yet to induce vibrations... this is probably also related to my sleep being very shallow.

[Zenit]

So there have been small successes here and there. No real full blown experience to speak off but i do have some observations to note.

1. I been trying  not to fall into the newbi trap of reading to much information about everything. I find when you have a conceptual picture of what things should look like/feel like/happen you develop expectation. Expectations are generally bad when trying to learn a new skill, two fold so when it comes to the mind. Having said that I have run across some excellent pointers in the right direction witch I hope should minimize the learning curve.

Of course I been looking through the Frank Kapplar resources. Him along with Monroe seem to be the godfathers of OBE. On the one hand I couldent get away from reading Franks model. I was terribly exited to explore these levels on my own. On the other hand I don't know if I can completely jive with everything he sais as long as I don't get to experience it myself. Im mean..... if this Lvl 4 stuff is true then the meaning of existence has effectively been solved.

Anyway, I hope to be doing some testing myself. Im a Biomedical researcher mself so science is not only a passion, currently it is a profession.

2. Every time I try to focus (or get intouch with Foci 2) I notice something when I get back into physical realety. My presence on this field vastly increases. Its like.... The more in touch I get with being aware of other levels of consciousness, the more itouch I get with the physical world. I been practicing presence and being for a while, but after a few days of trying to OB the quality of realety has vastly "improved"

3. debating weather or not I should take a break from trying to OBE. For 3 days now I been trying to project 3 times a day. Im getting unheard of amounts of sleep haha. Im experiencing small headaches witch are unusual from the ones I tend to experience from dehydration. Not sure if this is because I'm sleeping to much, or if its something else.

[Zenit]

So i realized i had to rethink the structure of this journal. What would be the point of me trying write every entry as "Yesterday i tried to induce a OBE... i did not succeed". The learning curve is less steep then i initially anticipated. After my big SP experience exploring lucid dreams and almost pulling my consciousness out of the body was fairly standard. But for every day tat passed it become harder to experience these phenomena's again.  What i have decided to do is check in at least weekly with my methods and insights.

This tends to be my day. I work 9 to 5. Around lunch i go take a nap and try to induce. These naps usually yeild results of vivid visions at most. When i get home at 5 I take a cat nap. Same with these. At night im either to tiered or i feel the process of inducing is keeping me awake and i just default into going to sleep so i can be refreshed for the morning.

I got myself a Hemi-Sync product to see if i can be guided in the right direction. The Gateway Experience. So far its been pretty interesting. Although i'm not going to express anything just yet because i haven't done enough of it to see what benefit it will have.

My experimentation has yielded new insights about what it means to control consciousness and how to focus it, what it means to focus it, etc. The thing about this is that im really just pecking in the dark. I dont know if im actually doing stuff that will serve my purpose of OBE. For every little insight that I have, i record it in a paper journal. These small shifts in understanding i deem are to insignificant to post here.

Two things i noticed. Sometimes im so tiered that i can be bothered to try to stay conscious while im falling asleep. My perception is that its the period as your falling asleep that is the time to try to induce. Also i think that when i over stimulate the mind it keeps.... "vibrating" (for lack of better word) as im going to sleep. This results in my mind seemingly going off on thought tangents witch my consciousness has no control of. This occurred yesterday after i spent about 12 hours strait playing Fallout: New Vegas (video game). My brain kept going through images of the game and i could just amusedly stand back and observe.

Must say that experimenting with this has taken president over a bunch of other things in life. I seem less involved with a lot of the stuff i used to be very concerned with before i got wind of all this.

[Zenit]

So I didnt have a OBE yet, but i had the next best thing... i had a dream about having a OBE.

Woke up at 7.30 naturally. I decided to skip breakfast and just sleep in another two hours before work. This is when it started. I honestly believed I was having an OBE. I step out of my body and see myself lying on the ground. My vision is a bit blurry. The fact that I am wearing a blue wizards robe and that there are three other "wizards" with me in the room dosent seem to alert me to the fact that I'm dreaming. I go of into another room (walk through the wall mind you). Check back, there is a silver string attached to my body (no doubt from my reading about it). I spend a few minutes trying to learn how to fly. I start flying. As high as I can, then I start to nose dive. Eventually I go "now what?". So for some reason I decide "hey, if I can fly and do anything I want, why not get freaky with some astro ladies".

This is where excrement gets weird. I materialize a door and walk into it. I'm trying to decide what girl I should focus on when for some reason I start playing a movie.... Or a move starts playing, and.... My consciousness moves from being in the dream me, to just observing the movie....  and eventually the movie fades into a thought.... And very shortly there after, I realize the whole thing has been a dream.

Now even though this was just a dream, I think this was a step in the right direction. Although I hadn't been aware that I was in a dream, I was aware that I was able to act. The feeling of control within this world was tangibly increased. I think this morning routine might be a good window for inducing.

This also leads me to believe that the whole "check if your dreaming while your awake, and you will end up doing it in a dream to" theory might work. Since I walk around constantly thinking about this stuff, its only natural that I do it while I'm dreaming as well. My ability to hold lucid images as Im falling asleep has also increased, so I might not jar myself out of a expanded state if it does occur.

[Zenit]

Note to self;

The ability to "spread" (direct) your attention (consciousness) towards other states without flinching. Being able to stay focused on the lucide images without losing it. Is this because in the act of observing i start being aware of the fact that I am observing.... being aware of my being aware, that background awareness pulls my consciousness away from the actual observing. Hard to put into word.... worth pondering a bit to see if there is something there to understand.

[Zenit]

Note to self;

The ability to "spread" (direct) your attention (consciousness) towards other states without flinching. Being able to stay focused on the lucid images without losing it. Is this because in the act of observing i start being aware of the fact that I am observing.... being aware of my being aware, that background awareness pulls my consciousness away from the actual observing. Hard to put into word.... worth pondering a bit to see if there is something there to understand.

[Zenit]

First time i ever concisely experienced  vibrations... Attempted to roll my body out, but no success. After a while the vibrations stopped and i was left with what I usually achieve, a relaxed pre sleep state. Then I just drifted off to sleep

I shifted focus back and forth between my body and mind alternating saying "mind awake, body asleep". I would associate fire and the color red with my mind, and smoke and the color gray with my body. I noticed that when i try to relax my body I solely focus on my hands. This time I tried focusing more on my torso, shoulders and legs. I think this lead to a deeper state of relaxation.

Though i heard the distinctive chirping of birds.

I notice random memories popping to the surface, memories of things i haven't really thought about in a long time. thing that dont really seem relevant any more. I think its a result of my mind relaxing.

I also had an insight last night:

Consciousness directs the brain by choosing what (thoughts) to focus on. Ego tries to control the brain (thoughts) because it perceives itself to be these thoughts. It struck me how one mode opens up the flood gates of creativity and possibility, while the other stifles and dwells on fears. I love these random insights!