First Experience - Life Changing AP?

[Kanes Messenger]

About 9 months ago I had an experience that completely changed my life and made me rethink everything in my reality. Ever since I have been rudely awakened but also feel I never got grounded after.

I was laying in my bed, I have a cell phone app that projects a blue light onto the ceiling and lights up then dims, you concentrate on it and then match your breath to it to help you fall asleep (at this time I thought meditation was silly, little did I know I was being tricked into meditating ). I did it for 15 mins and it helped me relax a lot, then i realized I forgot to set my alarm so i set it then decided to start it over because I got distracted. The second time I feel much much deeper into meditation, i did was is called "entering the void" where you are so clear minded you have ABSOLUTE full control over your mind and there are no thoughts just pure consciousness. I felt nothing but happiness and absolute bliss, I felt UNLIMITED so i naturally felt like using my unlimited focus on my body and head, I started focusing on my body and head then suddenly got a very strange feeling in my heart which shocked me and then it went away. I decided to try and get the feeling back so I began focusing again the the feeling grew (it was like no emotion I have ever experienced) and as it got more intense my body grew extremely warm and my heart rate went through the roof, the feeling grew it felt like a mixture of happiness, sadness, joy, agony, bliss, and other feelings (that I must have suppressed) as it continued i felt really light and I felt as if I was floating just above my bed, then suddenly I felt an insane feeling on the top of my head and started feeling like I was being thrown around back and forth in a wave like motion but I kept focus because i wanted to see what would happen, then suddenly I felt connected with the entire universe, I was everything and everything was me, I felt like I was waving back and forth (like youd swing side to side in a hammock!) but I was just laying there, then suddenly I could see my bed and my wall but it was warped and not 3 dimensional. This didnt bother me for some reason but the feeling got so insanely intense that I couldnt handle it any more and I forced myself to sit up and I snapped out of it and got sucked back into my body. I was absolutely terrified as I had NO IDEA what the bonk had just happened to me, my body was drenched in sweat and my heart was pounding like never before. I have not been able to achieve this state since.

After some research I found this might have been an AP or the beginning of one. Ever since for almost a year now I've been way more spacey and less grounded, haven't been able to get back to that state things have been very difficult for me, yet without it I might not have begun a transformation.

Thoughts? Looking for any help on getting back down to earth lol.

[Astralzombie]

That was definitely the beginning of an AP. I think the reason you haven't been able to get back there is because you might be fearing it more than you want it.

I don't do energy work but someone who does may say it sounds like you lost some kind of energy or have an imbalance of energy now. I'm sure someone will reply who knows more than I do on that.

So your greatest concern now is that you have to completely scrap your old way of thinking because you had an experience that wasn't supposed to really be possible. If that's true, then you came to the right place. We talk about a lot of subjects here that close-minded people scoff at but if you keep an open mind, you will be amazed at what is eventually "revealed" to you through your own hard work.

Welcome to the Pulse and I hope to hear more from you. There's tons of gold in the search function.

Good luck and keep exploring.

[Kanes Messenger]

Thanks for the reply, yeah I agree definitely have to transform my way of seeing things. I saw an accupressurist who also does reiki and other things and she was saying I have an imbalance now and I never fully "Came back" after that experience which I feel is true.

Been doing plenty of research on my own on consciousness and getting into lucid dreaming - people like Laberge, Chopra, Tolle, Jung, and all kinds of other teachers/friends to gather some perspective keeping an open mind myself.

Forum looks very interesting though looking forward to it

[Szaxx]

Was this your first ever experience with anything related to being awake in a sleeping body?
What you described could be the void or a lot more. Time will tell.

[Kanes Messenger]

Yeah it was though I don't even know that my body was asleep or I reached sleep paralysis because when the feeling became too intense I was able to immediately sit up. It was a thousand times more intense than the best sex or craziest rollercoaster. Words are useless when trying to describe it.

[Lionheart]

It was a thousand times more intense than the best sex or craziest rollercoaster. Words are useless when trying to describe it.

Hello and Welcome to the Astral Pulse!  

You have definitely come to the right place, where like minds do roam.

You are correct in your statement here. Words really are useless describing what you see and feel, but many of here understand exactly what your "not" saying.

I find the most fulfilling and unique Journeys when I just lie back and ask to "Return to Source"

What that source is, I can only describe as "it just is". It's a place devoid of mind or body.

[Bedeekin]

Yeah it was though I don't even know that my body was asleep or I reached sleep paralysis because when the feeling became too intense I was able to immediately sit up. It was a thousand times more intense than the best sex or craziest rollercoaster. Words are useless when trying to describe it.

It doesn't matter about SP or whether this happened or that... Sounds like you had the 'right' experience. Well done.

[Kanes Messenger]

Thanks for the welcomes!

@Lionheart I would say that's exactly it "returning to source" Felt like I was being reborn. However now that I know it's possible to do that and I haven't since every day life has been seeming very mundane and I've been very confused, the more I know the more I know I don't know. It seems like I don't want to return to that state but rather I need to to continue here on earth.

@Bedeekin Thanks for the tip!

[Lionheart]

Thanks for the welcomes!
However now that I know it's possible to do that and I haven't since every day life has been seeming very mundane and I've been very confused, the more I know the more I know I don't know. It seems like I don't want to return to that state but rather I need to to continue here on earth.

That's the conclusion everyone that APs gets sooner or later.

The more we know, the more we know we don't know, pretty well sums it up.

Aping does show you how precious life is.. It gives you a new sense of "awareness" on this physical realm in general.

You also experience an "inner peace" that is hard to describe. It's like your heart just grew! 

I notice that the colors seem more vibrant, the smells sweeter, the sound more musical.

It really opens up a new sense of perception inside of you. One that we have always had, but was dormant for some reason of another.

[Astralzombie]

It seems like I don't want to return to that state but rather I need to to continue here on earth.

One common theme in a lot of NDE is that the person reports that they were told it wasn't their time yet and they had some unfinished work.

It's too bad they are never given any specifics. But it makes sense that they're not told anything specific. It would take the lesson out of the experience and none of the emotions would be felt in order to fully appreciate it I suppose.

Some people become obsessed with being in the astral. They use it as an escape and it negates their very reason for being here in the first place. However, I think that it's rare and you shouldn't worry about it. Besides, I don't think we would have this ability if we weren't meant to use it.

I understand that you didn't take it this far but I just thought I'd say it anyways.

[Szaxx]

Your first experience was impressive. I'd learn the art if I was you. You will see this again if you do.
It's more real than real life, I'll bet you understand this.

A saying that may help.
You've been kissed by a muse.

Look it up.

[Kanes Messenger]

Great replys thank you!

Looked up being kissed by a Muse, I happen to have a knack for video production. Recently have spent a few thousand on equipment and will be creating a youtube channel for comedy, consciousness, love, music and science type videos. I've also been learning to produce and making some music and improving quickly, however if I had to pick one I would say I have a "dormant" video production talent that's waiting to explode. I have been producing and learning about video since I was young but this time is different I plan on exploding..but I've almost been waiting for something (a successful AP to inspire me to move forward) however in order to AP I know I have to raise my vibration which almost creates a paradox with this catch 22 desire.

Ultimately I'm going to start making videos very soon regardless and hope to do the two together.

@szaxx what are your thoughts on this as far as "Being kissed by a muse goes?

[Astralzombie]

however in order to AP I know I have to raise my vibration which almost creates a paradox with this catch 22 desire.

The real paradox is that this is only true if you believe it to be so. I have never spent a second trying to raise or lower my vibrations. Now, I concede to the possibility that I may be missing out on something special, but it isn't AP that I'm missing out on.

I understand that many do and I see value in that, however, I have spent many years doing this and I wasn't even aware of the term. 

[Szaxx]

In simple terms,
You've been given a fast car for travelling.
Everyone else has to walk.

This first experience is what you'd expect to hear about after 10 years or more of experiences.
It's so rare for a first. As if God decided to favour you and bless you with the experience. That's where being kissed by a muse came to mind.

[Kanes Messenger]

@its_all_bad Yeah what you're saying makes sense - ultimately I've done it before so I know how to do it again if I can just clear my mind and overcome fears.

In simple terms,
You've been given a fast car for travelling.
Everyone else has to walk.

This first experience is what you'd expect to hear about after 10 years or more of experiences.
It's so rare for a first. As if God decided to favour you and bless you with the experience. That's where being kissed by a muse came to mind.

Interesting, if this is true I hope my ego won't get in the way of my higher self

[Szaxx]

You may find cryptic lessons in your dreams. These will be very clear and your memory of self is adjusted for the experience. You'll remember them well.
As far as ego is, there may be more to you than you know yourself.
Again time will tell.
Lets hope so, you've everything that's required so far from your posts to progress into far more than you are at present.
You'll already feel something has been missing for a long time. A purpose or a 'can't quite put the finger on it' sort of feeling.

Familiar?

[Kanes Messenger]

You may find cryptic lessons in your dreams. These will be very clear and your memory of self is adjusted for the experience. You'll remember them well.
As far as ego is, there may be more to you than you know yourself.
Again time will tell.
Lets hope so, you've everything that's required so far from your posts to progress into far more than you are at present.
You'll already feel something has been missing for a long time. A purpose or a 'can't quite put the finger on it' sort of feeling.

Familiar?

Yeah I've been keeping a dream journal and interpreting them every day. Couple times I've realized I'm dreaming but either shortly after lose the lucidity or wake up forgetting what happened. Only been attempting lucid dreaming for maybe 3 or 4 weeks now though.

Yeah I've been waiting for "that thing" so I can "move forward" even though I am perfectly able to move forward in whatever endeavors I choose and do reasonably well it still feels like that "thing" is missing from my experience.

Whatever the thing is that initial experience is the closest I've ever gotten to finding out, and ever since I've only realized how much more it's missing.

[Szaxx]

It's when you have no expectations that the greatest ones come.
Give this time. I'll enjoy your post.
It's in the making already.

[Kanes Messenger]

Talk to you then.

[Szaxx]

It's yours to experience. Im 90% sure another exhilarating experience is on its way.
It'll be personal to you. Far in excess of anything physical.
Patience is required.


There's more to you than you know. Thats the only message I can relay to you at this time.

[Kanes Messenger]

Update: I knew my heart had been closed off since a recent long term relationship was broken apart, in addition to childhood/family issues currently coming more to term with. I knew I hadn't been experiencing much feelings over the past 6 months - year but sort of neglected it. The other night I was with the girl I'm seeing and we smoked some weed for fun and we were sitting on the couch and I felt my heart and felt this deep down pain, without realizing she was looking at me she said "you look sad" then tears started coming to her eyes and then I realized I had brought ignored/suppressed emotions from the past into a new relationship which is preventing it from flourishing which resulted in me crying a bit.

This closed heart is essentially the source of my fears and doubts, I feel if I can allow it to open back up I'll be inspired and more motivated than ever. Since in that experience I had I was basically opening my heart and raising it's vibration to the point where I more or less transcended physical reality.

Thoughts on open/closed heart with astral projection?

[soarin12]

Being open hearted is good, and what I mean by that is just to be very honest about your intent for OOBEs.  Do you want feel at one with God/source?  Do you want to know if there's life after death? --Want to understand the nature of God and yourself?  Then just express your honest intent for those things and that should be enough to get the ball rolling for you.  That's what worked for me anyway.  I just asked for the desires of my heart and was sincere about it and I started having spontaneous OOBEs. 

Also, I'm not normally a very emotional person but my OOBEs have shown me things that have opened up my heart and shown me who I truly am.  I have so much more heart and love for people now because of my experiences.

You don't have to be in a perfect state of heart or mind to have OOBEs.  In fact I've had some of my best (I feel I received them as a gift) when I've been very sad and feeling sorry for myself.  I did have the presence of mind, though, to ask for help and revelation and it has always come to me in it's time.

[Astralzombie]

This first experience is what you'd expect to hear about after 10 years or more of experiences.
It's so rare for a first.

That's exactly what I thought. It actually felt like it was similar to some NDE. He really was blessed to have that as a first one.

Thoughts on open/closed heart with astral projection?

I've actually had some of my best OOBE while I was in the dumps over an ex. I also found that it was much easier to have one. In contrast, the lovey-dovey googly eyed feelings of crushing can bring about the opposite in my experience. This may be because the physical reality already feels like we're floating on the clouds. .

And one more for good measure  .

[Szaxx]

An old saying,
Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
An emotional stinger.