I do not recall why I left this site in the past but I do know why I am back. I would like to tell you all a story, a story of my long, short road. When I was 14 to the time I was 18 I was lost. Like many wayward youth I turned to drugs, sampling everything I could get my hands on which, living in a city within the US under a firm cartel influence, turned out to be a lot. I numbed myself, deadened my spiritual side and ignored my emotions. I would like to say that one day I woke up and decided on my own to change, but that simply would not be true. Instead over a period of perhaps 3 weeks, though it felt like many months, almost everytime I attempted to project or dreamt I would arrive in the same place. Some part of me already seemed very familiar wIth this place even the first time I recall being there. Allow me to elaborate by simply running through my first recalled visit to this place:
I am in a field of what looks like wheat but it constantly ripples around me like those from a stone cast into a pond. It is not beautiful under the dusky sky, yet I know it shuld be. The sky is always cloudy and looks as if there is a blanket of smog. I try to fly but find myself unable. As I look around I notice a faint glow in the distance. *flash* I am standing under a very worn lamp post. Behind me, the same field I had been in. In front stretches a path as far as I can see. Seeing no other choice, I set off on this path and I am instantly hit by a feeling of sorrow and regret. As I continue on the path a man appears just standing on the edge of my path glaring at me. He seems quite upset. I call to him, " Where am I?" He replies, "On my path". Confused, I ask, "Where does the path lead" and he smiles " That my dearest friend is up to you." April 12, 2013
When I awoke from that I felt angry and confused as to why I was angry. Every night after that and multiple times while meditating I found myself back there, always right where I had left off and the man was always within sight though he only spoke to me a few more times. I traveled this path many times seeming to gain something from the experience everytime. Most importantly this path and this man taught me the true meaning of unconditional love for myself and for others though as in all others. I was given a true gift in that one day a boy whom I had fought with many times in the past and done many ugly things to came to me and he shoved me. He was clearly angry and planning to take it out on me. I hugged him and told him I loved him. He immediately recoiled and made manu homophobic remarks to which I simply assured him that I have no romantic interests in him, but I love him for being him. A few days later he contacted me on facebook telling me his father had passed and asking if I would hang out. I did and what was once my worst enemy ended up crying on my shoulder for almost an hour.
That is not all that my unconditional love for self and others has granted me. I gained the strength to deal with my emotions without the use of drugs and quit cold turkey. Unconditional love is a drug itself.
I do not wish to preach to anyone, I just wish to reiterate what mzny wise men have said before me: love yourself and love others. I promise, true love can change your life.
One last thing, I am not religious and I do not believe this was any kind of religious experience. I simply had a very wise man teach me a very useful tool at a critical time in my life. If anyone has questions or would like to hear more of my story I would be happy to share.
Thank you for reading and I hope somebody gains from my story and experience.
I love you all.