Something evil inside of me?

[-KonKepTz-]

First of all, I appreciate you taking your time to read this and would be greatful for any thoughts of advice you have.

I've been having this weird thing happen to me for the past 3 years ever since my mother died, where about approx every 1 month  right before I'd wake up I'd have this feeling..........It's like Sleep Paralysis but not...I felt like I was rising up from my body, like something was pulling me, and I'd be so scared I wouldn't open my eyes.

It's a lot different than Astral Projection because it feels like I'm in the psychical plane. (Etheral?) but at the same time, everything feels muddy...I've opened my eyes a couple times and have seen my room exactly where I was....and also...I used to hear the humming...but don't anymore. (I guess I've got so used to it)

For the past 2 times I've had it, I've tried to speak, and it sounded extremely muffled. Like a robotic voice under water, or like the sound a witch would say when theyre melting. (Lol)

When I first started having these episodes they started out in Sleep Paraylis, then gradually progressed to something else, through different stages of my development. Their was even a period when I would see nothing but techni-hippie colors.

It happened again to me today, and everything went just like I expected, except I decided to speak in the name of the lord. I kept saying something about Jesus, I don't really remember what but something inside of me hated it when I did it. I even heard it scream to stop in that muffled up evil voice, and I kept doing it. Then I felt something explode inside of me, and rise up, almost as if whatever inside of me was finally leaving.

I'm not really religious so this is very strange for me, and more than likely isn't a coincidence. I also feel a lot better...usually I'm always angry and negative, but I feel unusually strange.......

Thanks for reading....and please tell me what you think

[Goober]

Very, very interesting...


  Though I do not believe Jesus is God, I hear about many demons leaving people's bodies because Jesus is mentioned/used in exorcisms ( Like in your post. ). I wonder, maybe because he was so very Holy, he has so much love that demons cannot stand him? Maybe his crucifixion had a lot more spiritual value than we thought.. Maybe it has something to do with him taking on the sins of the world, at that moment.

[kiwibonga]

It's quite difficult to make out what exactly happened, but it does sound like a classical "neg-detachment" story from the way you describe it. Hopefully indeed, it's the end of these night terrors for you, and perhaps the beginning of new, more positive experiences.

From what I've read, it's not unusual for traumatic events to lead to "neg attachments" -- it is a good esoteric explanation for post traumatic stress. Fears and traumatism tend to manifest themselves in dreams as nightmares... Having nightmares seems to lead to the release of these fears -- or at least it has been my experience with fear of the dark ; I had lived with for over 20 years, and it simply went away one day, directly following a string of odd nightmares.

Negs are not necessarily "astral monsters" that want to sting and suck the life out of you, they can simply be "mental wounds" ; since this particular problem surfaced directly following the death of a loved one, it is quite possible that you "hurt yourself mentally" and finally ended up healing yourself through this event.

Do keep us updated in case you get new experiences!

[-KonKepTz-]

Thanks for replying.  grin

I did have another experience this morning but it was a dream. I don't remember much about what it was about except that I was talking to someone on the phone, I was portraying a bad guy. The guy on the phone was mad and said something about me screwing him over, and while I was talking (I was in my room) I heard someone creeping in the kitchen.

That's when I realized I was dreaming, and became extremely lucid. I heard the person/being take a couple more steps toward my room, more than likely thinking I was still in my dream (Not being lucid) and I decided to hide behind the door and wait for it to come in. I grabbed a bat, and it came in, and I beat the crap out of it.

After that I took a look at him, and he looked like a walking lion, from the Wizard Of Oz (Just like it) and he got up and ran, I chased him, telling him to stop bothering me or I'm going to kill him, he ran into my mothers room, turned around as I chased, and growled in an evil voice REALLY loud (the same voice I've heard before) than I woke up.

I think he might of been trying to pull me out/terrorize me again while I was dreaming. I'm not really sure what it is or who he is, I do believe hes not a demon but something evil from a spiritual plane. Maybe one of you experts can indulge into what a lion on an astral plane might be. I do believe he was strong but was very unprepared for the meeting, and was generally weaker than he might of been normally.

I'm thinking about Astral Projecting, but I've always been scared of doing that. (I did it once, but it was only for a couple seconds)

Thanks for reading.

[Token]

It sounds like most of your experience in your bedroom was typical with the unusual twists that you mention and I would guess (guessing is all I can do here) that the unusual twists are being triggered by some strong emotions that you have surrounding the recent events in your life.  Also if you are taking any strong medications or too much alchohol/drugs then this can have strong negative effects as well.  Your dream to me suggests that you are feeling a lot of stress (also just guessing here). 

Perhaps you might try a couple things which might help.  One is to physically get as clean as you can, no alchohol or medication (unless necessary of course) and switch over to eating as healthy as you possibly can, no fast food, lots of veggies, grains, fish.  The other is to get yourself in a spiritually healing mode.  Meditate, take time to go out for a long walk or run each day.  Get a massage.  Reflect quietly while asking for strength and good energy to enter you.  Everyone is different and I'm not saying anything I'm suggesting will work, but I can assure you it won't hurt!

Token

[-KonKepTz-]

Hey. Thanks for the advice.

I don't take drugs/alcohol or any medication, however I have been under a big amount of stress since my mother passed, my father has also been pretty sick (Had major heart and brain surgery within the past 3 weeks. Still strong though.  ) and I have been dealing with all the bills and the mortgage, running around without any time for school. (I turned 18 a couple months ago and I want to enroll into college)

The problem with most of these experiences is that they aren't dreams (I can feel it). I've read that these can be certain trances (Not really sure what type) just before your body wakes up. Which would make sense considering this always happens to me before I awake.

I didn't mention this because I was afraid I would be laughed at, and I'm not really sure if this is relevant, but ever since my father has been in the hospital, I've noticed this face in my mothers door that looks just like her. I swear to god. I don't have a cam, but I might get a disposable one so I can post the pictures. It looks so much like her that it freaks me out every time i see it. I don't even like going in the kitchen because it looks like it's watching me.

I'm not really sure what's going on, but I'm getting annoyed, and the only way it seems I can find out what's going on is to AP. (Which I'm scared of doing)

I wonder if anyone has had experiences similar to this, I've searched but haven't really found anything directly related to being yanked out by something every month before awakening.

[-KonKepTz-]

Also, does anything have some info on what certain Animals might be / represent in the Astral / Dream world?

Thans. 

[Chris]

From your description the thing you are terrorized by is a neg that is attempting to attach itself to you (feed off your energy, stresses, and fears). The last encounter you did exactly the right thing. The reason the entity seemed less powerful is exactly because the entity IS less powerful, not just because you caught it off guard. A neg is very much like a bully in the physical world. Most bullies are not as strong mentally or physically as they try to make themselves seem (that's not to say there aren't some that are, but the majority are not). The same is true with Negs. Just like with a bully, generally the only power they have over you is what your fear allows them to have. The moment you confront them and let go of fear they will generally back down and look for an easier target to get what they need. I've encountered various strengths of negs. Most are going to be less powerful than you. Very rarely you might encounter one that is as strong or stronger, but the stronger ones are generally not interested in you because they don't NEED your energy. In any event, don't get too caught up in the images you "see". Your own mind may be projecting onto the entity... it's really not of much importance what it looks like. What's important is that you let go of fear and confront it with confidence. This one will go away if you do that.

[majour ka]

Hi Konkeptz,

Firstly im very sorry to hear of all your stresses, life has a tendency to throw everything at us all at once. I dont know if this similer to your expiriences, but my mind tends to wake up before my body every day, which leaves me in a lucid dream state every morning for a while before i get up, theres all kinds of strange expirences associated with that.

I may be wrong, but my impression of your situation leads me to think think that you would be most wise to realy try and ground your self in every day life just now. Stay away from trying to AP etc and just do some realy every day stuff, at least until your own life has calmed down. Mentelly ask your guides to help gently close you down a bit, so your not so open to outside inflences,im sure they will only be to glad to help. Ask your gate keepers to only allow those workers that come in love to visit you.

If you get the chance maybe try and find a good healer or medium and see if they can help ground and clear your energy a bit. but if you stay positive and get busy and of course relax that will start to happen anyway.

As for seeing your Mum, I would say your very lucky, im sure thats your mum trying to let you know shes near by and looking after you and your father at these hard times. I think it unlikely that you would get  photo etc of the wardrobe materialisation as its probably your clairvoyance thats alowing you to see her. Next time you see her just try saying hello and mentally send her your love.

Hope that somthing i have said helps, kind regards MK ps remember ignore any neg entity and often they will get bored and stop having a look at you, if you have nothing to offer theres nothing for them.