i want to die...Really!

[SmileySpirit14]

      SCHITZO CONVO

fire snow wind rain, all on earth, earth cause pain.
even tho i would choose not to be here, i must sacrifice happiness in order to sustain

its not fair im treated like a puppet; i want to crush whoever sent me here to stay...
but why should i complain, when i can make death not even an inch away?

but what is death, is it leaving exisitance? because thats not where i wanna go...
but i was just complaing about how my life sucks, so why not give it up, u know?

but is it really worth losing existance and stopping knowlegde flowing through ur head?
well yes in a way, b-cuz its probably better to be dead

knowledge is useless...what is it for? i dont need it on earth, cuz eventually i wont be here no more.
...........

i found this and i was wondering who had the better point of view...they both seem kinda depressed, and they both had some really good points......
and if u care to know, i made an attempt 2 days ago, but it didnt turn out how i planned....

[Euphoric Sunrise]

I just feel i need to point out one thing. I'm sorry if it's already been pointed out, i haven't read the whole thread.

You say you think you have learned all you need to on here, yet you are still asking important questions in other threads. "Satanic or not?" is a perfect example of this.
If you had learned all you needed to know here you would have been able to answer that question immediately by yourself. This leads me to believe this is not the real reason why you want to leave. I'm not saying it's because you are depressed or anything like that, but clearly you haven't learned everything. That's not a bad thing by the way. I don't know anybody who has, including me.
Perhaps you're just sick of the world, war etc and i would put that down to negative feelings. Perhaps not depression, but disappointment or anger or something.

Anyway, i couldn't possibly know the situation unless i was a friend or family physically connected to you. I'm simply trying to help you out. If i can't, so be it, i tried. I just felt like i needed to post this.

All i can say is the choice is yours, but be very careful and don't kid yourself by thinking you've learned everything and experienced everything. I doubt anybody has and maybe nobody will.

[gravy]

To be very honest I felt like this at one point.  I've considered suicide and I'm perfectly happy.  However, like I said in another post, I must be here for a reason.  I choose to live on, however, I no longer fear death.  If you want to kill yourself, go ahead, but I think you'll find life to be a lot more rewarding.  A physical body might not seem important to you but you gotta wonder why you came to possess one in the first place.

If you're bored of living get a PS2 or something.  You can do just about anything you want if you aren't afraid to die.

BTW grenade to mouth would be pretty stupid.  I suggest driving at 200 KM/h off a cliff with a cyanide tank in the back seat set up with a gun pointed at the back of your head with the trigger tied with a fishing line to the steering wheel. (incase the fall doesn't kill you, the cyanide will, and if the tank doesn't bust, the gun should go off upon landing).  Just the fall itself should be exciting enough to kick you into an OBE.

[cristina8675309]

you know, i feel euphoric has some good things to say.  and the point i'd more specifically like to address is that of no matter how long a person seems to "possess/inhabit/whatever" a body, they still say at a very ripe old age that they are FINALLY  COMING TO UNDERSTAND THINGS ABOUT THE WORLD AND WHY IT'S HERE AND IT'S PURPOSE. (not yelling, just stressing that this is a statement made by very old ppl - yet seems to be one made by young ppl as well.)

Ghandi's addition to the back of the Gita states that it (the Gita) had been a help to him and he "grew in understanding" continually over the years from studying it.  

I still think there's a lot more to accomplish and i hope you don't pull another stunt like you did.  "that you tried a couple days ago but it didn't go exactly as planned..."  that's a teaser to get attention.  if you wanna say what you did, do it.  but stop and THINK, MEDITATE, and as other suggestions, ADD SOME PRANA.

not attempting to be harsh...attempting to show that you don't have the wisdom yet you think you do. intelligence and knowledge aren't everthing...wisdom, too.

[beavis]

gravy: off a cliff with a cyanide tank in the back seat set up with a gun pointed at the back of your head with the trigger tied with a fishing line to the steering wheel

Better with cyanide in a condom in your mouth and shoot yourself with the gun as you fall. Pulling your fisning line will pull the trigger forward, not back, and there is no guarantee it will shoot at all.

[gravy]

"Pulling your fisning line will pull the trigger forward, not back"

I just assumed that smiley knew how to improvise a pulley system using one of the rear seatbelt buckles.

[Candieapple]

I have just spent almost an hour reading all the suggestions. Really what it comes down to are two choices:

1) If you don't like your life, just simply CHANGE it![] You DON'T have to end your life - JUST CHANGE IT! YES, IT'S THAT SIMPLE!!!!!!![]

2) If you want to kill yourself, at least do it honorably - just crucify yourself and get it overwith! [!](I know that sounds harsh, crazy, and ridiculous, but when you think about it- that's about how ridiculous committing suicide is!)

-----
P.S. - If you learned everything there was to learn here, you wouldn't be here - you would be an ascended master!

P.S.S. - You never really die, your soul endures forever, so why bother disconnecting this life from your body when you haven't finished doing whatever it is that you came here to do - you'll just have a repeat performance - and THAT is boring![]

P.S.S.S. - Right now my nephew is in the hospital, still in a coma, from trying to commit suicide because his parents took away his car keys to discipline him from something he did wrong. He revolted by swallowing two viles full of pills! He's only 16 years old![]How does that sound?

[SmileySpirit14]

ah! omg, why did u bring this topic up?? it was supposed to die!! lol   uuugg...ok, i dont try to attempt suicide anymore, but every once in a while, just cutting...cant resist[xx(] i did learn a lot from MONTHS ago when this was brought up i did change my life...sort of, its in process...i quit psionics[] something happened that made me stop believing just recently. dont knwo why, i guess the logic of why it could be fake got to me. (dont try to convince me its real either, i know the reasons why)(<--and dont quote me on that statement and say "then why do you belive its fake if u know it could be real?"[]) i just dont believe.
ANYWAYS! i have thought about getting someone to crucify me if i changed my mind lol im not doing anything with a gun, guns are stupid, knives are better [)]

[pyro4571]

what made you stop believing?

[beavis]

She knows its real but chooses to ignore it.

[The Maven]

quote:Originally posted by gravy

I've considered suicide and I'm perfectly happy.

That seems impossible to me. If you were happy, why would you want to end your life, i.e. take a risk? Who truly knows what awaits us in the after-life, for all we know, we all end up in some sort of hell. I don't believe what you said. I suspect you are not actually happy if you considered suicide. Maybe you don't know what happiness is? Not everybody does IMO, or maybe some just forget.

If you want to kill yourself, something isn't right in your head. Fix it. I'll be honest, I've considered suicide before, but that's because I was depressed back then. I felt no happiness, I only felt pain in my mind, so I wanted to end it. What held me back? Knowing the pain I would leave behind for those who care about me. I would be pretty much dumping my pain on them and saying "Bye bye, I'm outta here! Enjoy the pain and suffering, I'm off to the after-life now!". Sounds kinda cowardish to me. It could happen again, I could end up entering another depression phase. But I just don't see it happening, because I realised that what I needed to do was step up and force some change, which I started doing. You can't stay in the same spot forever, you gotta keep moving. I'm in the process of turning my life around. I'm slowly starting to experience new things. I truly believe that's the key to live, keep moving. Don't like where you are? Leave. That's the beauty of independence, you do as you want. Independence is what I want the most, which I suspect is the reason why I was unhappy as a child. I always wanted to be a perfectly responsible adult. Well, I'll make sure I get to that point. It's my goal. Then I'll be able to fully enjoy life.

[LogoRat]

Most people think just because you dont feel like doing something that many others like, that you must be depressed.

I can understand SmileySpirit14 completly.
Its nothing wrong with feeling the way you do man.

[The Maven]

quote:Originally posted by LogoRat

Its nothing wrong with feeling the way you do man.

Um, yeah, there is. I believe we all chose to live on a subconcious level, or at least we all have a task to complete in our lifetime. I do not believe life is meaningless and we're all here just to take crap. Killing yourself is just counter-productive. If you really want to kill yourself for whatever reason, why not stick around a little longer and try new stuff out before you go? You've got nothing to lose, since you do want to end it all. There's no turning back after you've killed yourself.

I say don't take life so seriously, just try and enjoy it as much as you can, but at the same time be responsible and think about other people. Some have mentioned this, but if you look at the big picture, we are all connected, so consider others before acting. If you kill yourself, you'd be dumping your crap on people who care about you, don't forget about that. Don't let your ego take over. Although it does serve a purpose, it shouldn't be completely dominating you. If it is, you have a lot to learn.

[LogoRat]

That is just your idea of what is planned and what todo here in physical reality.

Its like beeing in a prison and you want to get free, you find a way out but people on the inside holds you back saying that if you leave here without spending your time in prison you will get punished.

Yes, you can conform to a prison and live a decent life in there, find some rat to play with and have a good life in the prison, lift weights and sing songs.

But you are still locked down and cant move the way you want to.
You want to have more freedom and to express your unique personality in greater perspective than in a world full of zombies that just want live by the society norms.

Think about it, lets say you come to a dead end when you walk in the woods, you where planning on moving to your neighbors house, but somehow ended up in the wrong place, you can now decide to remove yourself from that place and walk another way so you can find your chosen destination, or you can stay there and accept your position and play with the things that is on that place.

Some people have a focused goal on what they want, and that might be to not accept their present place they are at and move on and find their place they where looking at in the first place.

I dont see anything wrong with taking your own life.
Its just a choice.
And i personally dont see any idea of beeing here in the physical at all, its a waste of energy.

But for me, i have something i have planned todo before i leave, but thats me,.. it looks like this dude dont have any and i accept his choice.

And btw, you can still visit the places you want to even tho you have a physical body in your pocket, its called astral projection and dreaming.

[The Maven]

That is just your idea of what is planned and what todo here in physical reality.

I don't know what is planned for us once we die, but I do believe there is a purpose to life in the physical realm.

Its like beeing in a prison and you want to get free, you find a way out but people on the inside holds you back saying that if you leave here without spending your time in prison you will get punished.

Yes, you can conform to a prison and live a decent life in there, find some rat to play with and have a good life in the prison, lift weights and sing songs.

Well that's just how you see things I suppose... You see the body as a prison, I see it as a temporary vehicule for interacting with the physical world.

But you are still locked down and cant move the way you want to.
You want to have more freedom and to express your unique personality in greater perspective than in a world full of zombies that just want live by the society norms.

I agree, we do have many limitations, and we all play a role in some form. Nobody is acting like it's true self, i.e. the higher self. You can try to, though. Stay true to yourself as much as you can.

Some people have a focused goal on what they want, and that might be to not accept their present place they are at and move on and find their place they where looking at in the first place.

You can move in the physical, there is a whole world ready to be explored.

I dont see anything wrong with taking your own life.
Its just a choice.
And i personally dont see any idea of beeing here in the physical at all, its a waste of energy.

Again, I don't think we are here just to waste time, we are here for a purpose. Taking your life is a choice indeed, but it is a final one, at least for the physical realm.

But for me, i have something i have planned todo before i leave, but thats me,.. it looks like this dude dont have any and i accept his choice.

This person isn't even a responsible adult, yet you accept h/is/er decision? Bad idea. Suicide is final. Take it seriously, don't just say it's "just a choice" when you don't even know for sure what awaits us in the after-life or why we are even here.

And btw, you can still visit the places you want to even tho you have a physical body in your pocket, its called astral projection and dreaming.

For all we know, that could all be a product of our unconscious. Don't see astral projecting as the big picture, focus on your temporary life, it won't last forever.

[SmileySpirit14]

i dont think life is a waste of energy or time or wasting anything and even tho suicide is just a choice im glad i didnt do it. im gonna die anyway and i can still have fun here. i may just reincarnate or cease to exist, but i'll find out eventually. i really dont care if i die, im not trying to prevent it, but im not going to kill myself either.
and no i dont really have a goal...well, i just want to go somewhere where i can do the things i want and be who i am around people who dont care, and for those who know me i hate limitations more then anything. but this isnt going to happen, so yeh...i really dont have goals. not yet anyway. life is just another one of those stupid things to tolerate. good is coming to you tho, even tho you may not see it

[The Maven]

Everyone seeks happiness, in whatever form that may be, but we each have different paths we must take in order to get there. As you get the older, the way to get there will become clearer. Sure, you may take a few wrong turns along the way, but you learn from your mistakes and can always turn around and try another road.

We do have limitations, but that's what makes it a challenge, and that's what makes us learn along the way.

[Candieapple]

I used to feel soooo "down and out"[] that I thought about suicide, then realized it wouldn't get me anywhere always feeling like a victim! So I put a band-aid on my butt and got on with LIVING![] It's really all just an attitude change![] Once I changed my attitude, I conquered my limitations! There really are NO limitations, only limited thoughts!!!

Yes, lets forget about dieing, and think about living, then we open up ourselves to the many gifts and wonders of life![]

We can experience:
-Learning to love ones self!
-Discover the wonderful meaning of "true love"!
-Experience the profound miracle of birth!
-Weep with elation at a child's first step!
-Walk upon a spectacular glacier!
-Crawl through an ancient pyramid!
-Laugh with joy of catching a snowflake on your tongue!
-Sail over the Sarengetti in a hotair balloon!
-Watch the awesome display of a meteor shower!(There's a big one the next three nights, northeast 50-100 p/hr 2-4am!)
-Have a snowball fight on the 4th of July upon the highest peak in your continent!
-Feel the excitement of riding a speeding rollercoaster!
-Discover the fragile existence of a hummingbird's egg!
-Visit the spiritual ranch in Yelm, Washington!
-Draw on a 5X7 card, mixed it up with 3,000 others, then it gets posted on a fence backwards, in a field the size of a football field. Then allow the spirit of God within to bring you right to it while your blindfolded, while 3,000 others are trying to do the same thing!
-Feel the adrenaline rush of white-water rafting!
-Feel the appreciation of growing something in the bountiful earth!
-Enjoy the companionship of a furry friend!
-Feel the peace of floating upon the water, watching the clouds pass!
-Embrace a lover and get that warm fuzzy feeling inside your soul!
-Realize that you and God, and everyone, and everything is connected!

Well the list can go on and on forever, but I gotta go now and live![8D]

[LogoRat]

Personally i dont really care about the physical dimension.
Its a waste of energy for me.
So i can understand peoples decision in turning the switch.

I always think its kinda interresting how so many people scream at people that want to take their life "nonono dont do it".

What do they know is right for that person, what makes them think he is doing a bad choice.

What makes you think he is insane and do not think clearly when he wants to kill himself.

Maybe it is you who are insane and do not think clearly that stick around here fooling yourself into believe its a nice place to be in.

Now SmileySpirit14 chose not to take his life.
And for that i admire his strength.

[Nay]

quote:Now SmileySpirit14 chose not to take his life.
And for that i admire his strength.

I'm sure she will appreciate that..[]

Nay []

[LogoRat]

lol, oki hehe

[SmileySpirit14]

yes, i aint no dude, i got a pic of me on this site -_' but candie apple,.. aright, heres how REALITY is

-Learning to love ones self!
hmm...yeh, maybe for some people
-Discover the wonderful meaning of "true love"!
looking for love is worse then suicide -_-
-Experience the profound miracle of birth!
duh! everyone here has been born
-Weep with elation at a child's first step!
if i do it and if everyone else does i never get a congradulations for it
-Walk upon a spectacular glacier!
-Crawl through an ancient pyramid!
only gajillionaires can afford places like that
-Laugh with joy of catching a snowflake on your tongue!
in the future snow will become black mush from all the pollution
-Have a snowball fight on the 4th of July upon the highest peak in your continent!
once again, money, unless you're already there, and in that case will get pnamoneia or some stupid disease
-Feel the excitement of riding a speeding rollercoaster!
goody, i bet it'll give me more adranaline jumping off a cliff
.. must i go on

[SmileySpirit14]

sorry, ignore that. had a rough day

[cristina8675309]

smiley:  you totally missed the point and thought only of yourself.  witness the birth of SOMEONE ELSE.  WEEP WITH JOY AT THAT SOMEONE ELSE'S FIRST STEP.  And you, I'm almost CERTAIN, were congratulated on your first steps.  Every parent is overjoyed at their child's first steps...

i'm glad you say you've decided not to die now.  the cutting part worries me still...that needs attention.  However, you have yet failed to get ithe idea that anything besides yourself exists... or rather, perhaps, that we exist (human-and-animalkind) to exist for you.  I have a life wholly separate and complete from yours...as does everyone on here.  we are interconnected in that we are humans...however...that list was not about you, mostly.  it was about you EXPERIENCING anything besides the pouty, whiny, "I'm bored...entertain me" missive of a spoiled child.

[SmileySpirit14]

yeh i know i realize that, notice the comment i made after that post?