i want to die...Really!

[Nay]

LOL...love your new sig!  It reminded me of another that I used to hear.

"I see, says the blind man, to the deaf woman, over the disconnected telephone"

I haven't seen you in awhile and wanted to ask if you were still in Cheerleading?  My daughter (10yr) is in a squad and the first day...she cried.[]  She is painfully shy, like I used to be, but wow!  the next day and the next, that girl was all over it!  I'm soo proud of her for stepping past her comfort zone.  I have to say, she is the cutest in that little cheerleading outfit with her ponytail..[]  but of course, I'm her mom..so..yeah.

Good seeing you Smiley!  and hey...we allllll have our bad days, don't we? []

Smiles,
Nay

[Aileron]

I worked in alaska on a boat being a deckhand. It was hard work, mainly because I wasnt supposed to be a deckhand and after the original two who were, both quit and were fired, my boss and other workers treated me like I was the last resort and thus the season would be horrible because of it.
So through the entire I summer I put up with this. I worked quietly and allowed them to make fun of me when I made mistakes usually made because of someone elses idiocy.
One day I went down to the boat before anyone else. It was about five in the morning.

I was washing the boat off, and the morning was cold and gloomy, when I noticed I had accidentally sprayed a moth. Its wings were wet and it was waiting to die just twitching. For some reason I picked it up and placed it underneath the large tackle box out of the way. Nobody would be able to see it unless they crouched and looked under.
The day went by as usual, me helping our custmers pull in hundred pound halibut and getting yelled at when I directed the boat in the wrong direction. Finally the day ended and we headed back. It was about six in the evening and the sun would still be out until one in the morning.
After the customers and the boat captain(the owner of the fishing lodge) left and I was cleaning the boat I decided to look underneath the box. The moth was there, completely dry and hanging out. SOmehow it had avoided getting wet at all from the entire day and the sun had dried it out. It let me pick it up and I walked up the boardwalk to the top. I looked at it for awhile and then put my hand out and it flew away.
It was a beautiful moth, pure white. It looked like a snowflake with wings flying off. I watched it for awhile then went back to work.

[Eol007]

quote:Originally posted by Aileron....It looked like a snowflake with wings flying off. I watched it for awhile then went back to work.

Great story and just shows how magical life can really be!

Congrats on making silver!

S []

[Reality]

grinning

That's craaaaaazy, who gave the suggestions marked in red? Oh you made those up yourself, eh?! []

Take care (you'il need that because it's friday the thirteenth, no I don't believe in that kind of superstition yet, oh well)

[Rastus]

I think if you truly want to, then fine, go ahead.  Of course that means it's really you, and not outside influence.  Most people I've worked with on Depression are compulsive, or "not themselves" with depression and can't make a rational decision.

Besides, if you really want to then go.  Take your soul, cut the chord and leave.  If you have that ability, then you have enough understanding to know whaen it's your time anyway.  Otherwsie...

[Candieapple]

The hardest thing is first admitting that you hate yourself....sounds like your on the right path.... before your can love yourself you must understand the poloraratity.....

after that its pretty much up to your goals...anyone can really do anything...i'm still learning this myself... i was poor (without the the "r", as my daughter would say "poo", too broke for the "r". But anyway...I set my goals, I did those things on the list (except I missed my baby's first step because I was workin') and everyday I bless that I AM going for new goals.....such as visiting with a master on the astral plane....there are ALWAYS goals to strive for!

[aninfinity1717]

Dear Smiley,

If you want to die, then you still have lessons. You will die naturally and pain-freely when your higher self knows you are ready, because souls always don't want to miss out.

However, if you force death on yourself, whether to a small extent or through simple wishes, you are A VICTIM. Being a human is being a victim by most - opressed or annoyed by the smallest things. C'mon, why do we sink so low? Now that is the lesson, SmileySPIRITUAL.

No offense: Maybe you are self-denial. Maybe you are low on energy... Tired of being annoyed by the smallest things. Maybe you are too spiritual but neither grounded nor centered (required for higherself awareness).I don't know, but keep moving on. Because I, am moving on too.

--
Enjoy the abundance life has to offer. Physical reality was created for that reason too. A very potential being put in a very limited domain, to be tested of zeroeth being. It deserves the outer domain when it thinks it deserves, but by first expressing itself entirely, not by boggling itself down.

[DreamWeaver]

Don't do it!
You have plenty of life to live,knoledge to gain & share,love to give & to recieve..
I have felt the way you feel..live is either
good,bad or boring but we don't have to give up on it.

[Kiang]

Everybody pass by that experience at least one time in his life. There were times in my life that i felf very opressed and felt realy bad, i hated the way i was. I wanted to find a "cure" for myself. I wanted to search the tru person in me. So i found myself interested in things related with auto-hipnotism..

Well..that is only to say that, that period of my life was very fullfiling now that i see that i was capable to get pass over the situation. It constructed my personality and i am now a very spiritual and open minded person, and i just love the way i am now.

And astral projections gave me a all new perspective to see death.. i am not afrait of death but even if something in my material existence isnt getting well i will not give up until it is like i want it to be. If i'm not afrait of death, am no afrait of anything!!!

[Kiang]

So whatever you are afrait of on this existence, be it you or anybody else, dont be!!

[SmileySpirit14]

ok, so as u saw in the topic, i kinda wanna die...i mean, im NOT like 'oh, my life sux, i just wanna kill myself and get it over with...' im more like 'omg, this is sooo fricken lame! i got a body that is soo fragile, too many responsibilities, too much limitation, and this is a waste of time....im sure i learned all i need to know, so im ready to die now!!! im done with my life, sumone else can have it now!!'
is there sumthin wrong with this, or do u agree???